The Wedding (2 page)

As she put her mail aside, she pushed her long blond hair back and flipped the switch on her answering machine, then she sat down on a bar stool at the kitchen counter. Her kitchen was impeccably neat, and everything was done in white marble and black granite. The floor was black-and-white check, and she stared absently at it as she listened to her messages. Predictably, the first one was from Carmen, and she sounded as though she'd been crying. She said something incoherent about the article, and how unfair it was, and how upset her grandmother had been. She had called Carmen that afternoon from Portland. She didn't know if Allegra would want to sue this time, but she thought they should talk about it, and she asked Allegra to call her as soon as she got home, or had a free moment. It never occurred to Carmen that Allegra had a right to her own time. Carmen needed her for her own affairs, and that was all she ever thought of, but that didn't make her a bad person.

Allegra's mother had called again, inviting her to dinner on Friday night just as Alice had said, and reminding her of the Golden Globe Awards ceremony that weekend. Allegra smiled as she listened to her. Her mother sounded really excited. Probably because Allegra's father was nominated too, but in any case, she said Scott was coming down from Stanford to watch with Sam, and she hoped Allegra would go to the ceremony with her parents.

The next message was from a tennis pro Allegra had been dodging for weeks. She had started lessons several times, but she just didn't have time to pursue it. She jotted down his name, and made a note to remind herself to call him and at least explain that she couldn't.

After that there was a message from a man she'd met over the holidays. He'd been attractive and worked for an important studio, but he wasn't playing fair. She had met him when she was with Brandon. She smiled and listened to the husky voice as he left his name and said he hoped that she would call him. But there was no question of it in her mind. She had no interest in going out with anyone but Brandon. He was the third important love affair in her life. The previous one had lasted for almost four years, through the last half of law school, and for her first two years in L.A. as an attorney. He had gone to graduate school at Yale too, and he was a director. But after four years, he had been no closer to making a commitment to her, and in the end he had moved to London. He had asked her to come too, but she was up to her neck in clients at Fisch, Herzog, and Freeman by then, and there was no way she could join him in London. Or that was what she had said anyway. But even she had figured out that there was no point giving up a great job and following him to the ends of the earth, when he simply refused to make any promises about, or even discuss, the future. Roger had lived for today, in the moment. He talked a lot about karma, and chi, and freedom. And after two years in therapy, Allegra had finally gotten smart enough not to follow him to London. So she had stayed in L.A., and had met Brandon two months later.

And even before that, Roger had been preceded by a married professor at Yale. Allegra had gotten involved with him during her senior year, and it had been an affair filled with lust and excitement and passion. She had never known anyone like him, and the only way they had been able to end it was when Tom went on sabbatical, and hiked through Nepal for a year. He had taken his wife, and their infant son, and when they'd finally returned, she was once again pregnant. By then, Allegra was seeing Roger. But there had always been some powerful electricity between them whenever their paths crossed. Eventually, she'd been relieved when he went to teach at Northwestern. He had had overwhelming feelings of desire for her, but he had never been able to translate them into any kind of clear-cut vision about their future. All he could see, when he looked down the long road ahead of them, was Mithra, his wife, and their son, Euclid. He was something of a vestige of her past now, and her therapist rarely brought him up, except to illustrate the fact that she had never had a relationship that included any kind of promises involving her future.

I'm not sure, at twenty-nine, I should have had that anyway, she had responded more than once. I've never really wanted to get married.

That's not the point, Allegra, Dr. Green always said firmly. She was from New York, and she had big dark eyes that sometimes haunted Allegra after their sessions. They had been seeing each other off and on for four years now. Allegra was comfortable with her life, it was just that there was a lot of pressure on her, a lot of expectations from her family and her law firm, and she was very busy. Has anyone ever wanted to marry you} Dr. Green honed in more than once on what Allegra always insisted was a meaningless question.

What difference does that make, if I don't want to get married?

Why don't you? Why don't you want a man who wants to marry you, Allegra? What's that all about? She was relentless.

That's just stupid. Roger would have married me, if I'd gone to London with him. I just didn't want to. I had too much going on here.

What makes you think he'd have married you? Dr. Green was like a little ferret, she got into every corner, and sniffed out every possible lead, particle of harmless-looking dust, or insect. Did he ever say so?

We never talked about it.

Doesn't that make you wonder, Allegra?

What difference does it make? That was two years ago, she would say irritably. She hated it when Dr. Green would press a point till she wore it out with her questions. This is silly. She was too young to get married anyway, and too involved in her career at the moment to think of marriage.

And what about Brandon? Dr. Green loved harping on him. Sometimes Allegra hated discussing him with her. She just didn't understand his motivations, or how traumatized he had been by having to get married when his wife was pregnant. When is he going to file?

When they settle the questions about the property and the money, Allegra always explained sensibly, speaking as an attorney.

Why don't they bifurcate the financial issues, and just get a divorce? Then they can spend as long as they like resolving the property issues.

Why? What's the point of bifurcating? It's not like we have to get married.

No. But does he want to? Do you, Allegra? Do you ever discuss it?

We don't need to discuss it. We understand each other perfectly. We're both busy, we both have major careers. We've only gone out for two years.

Some people get married a lot faster than that, or a lot slower. The point is she aimed her sharp brown eyes into Allegra's green ones have you gotten yourself involved yet again with a man who cannot make a commitment?

Of course not, Allegra answered, trying to avoid the laser gaze, but never quite succeeding. It just isn't time yet. And then Dr. Green would nod, and wait to hear what Allegra would say after.

The exchanges were almost always the same. They had been for two years, except that Allegra was no longer twenty-seven, or twenty-eight, but twenty-nine, and Brandon had been only separated for two years now. His daughters, Nicole and Stephanie, were eleven and nine, and Joanie still hadn't succeeded in securing employment. She was still dependent on Brandon for everything she needed. And like Brandon, Allegra explained it by saying Joanie had no training. She had given up college to have Nicky.

In fact, Nicole's voice was the next one on Allegra's answering machine, telling her that she hoped that Allegra was coming to San Francisco with her dad that weekend. She said she missed her, and that she hoped everything was okay, and she hoped they'd have time to go skating. And oh ' that's right ' I love the jacket you sent me for Christmas. ' I was going to write a note, but I forgot, and Mom said ' There was an embarrassed silence as the eleven-year-old voice tried to regain her composure. I'll give you the letter this weekend. Bye ' I love you' . Oh ' this is Nicky. Bye. She hung up, and Allegra was still smiling, when she heard Brandon's message that he was working late, and was still at the office when he called her. His message was the last one.

She turned off the machine, finished the Evian, dropped it in the garbage, and picked up the phone to call his office.

She was sitting on the kitchen stool with her long legs wrapped around it as she dialed. She looked long and lean and beautiful, and she was totally unaware of her looks as she called him. She had lived in a world of extraordinary-looking people for so long, and hers was a life of the mind rather than the beauty of face and body. She never thought about it, which somehow made her even more attractive. One easily sensed about her that she didn't even care how she looked, she was totally focused on the people around her.

Brandon answered his private line on the second ring, and he sounded busy and distracted. It was easy to believe he was working. Brandon Edwards, he said, and she smiled. He had a deep, sexy voice, and she particularly liked the way he sounded. He was tall, and blond, and clean-cut, and preppy, and perhaps a little too conservative in the way he dressed, but she didn't mind that. There was something very wholesome about him, and very honest.

Hi there, I got your message, she said cryptically, and he knew who it was the moment he heard her. How was your day?

Endless, he said, still sounding frazzled. She didn't tell him about hers. He had very little interest in the clients of her law firm, and he always acted as though he thought her field of law was really more nonsense than legal. I'm going to trial next week. And I'm having a hell of a time with some of the research. I'll be lucky if I get out of here before midnight. He really sounded exhausted.

Do you want me to bring you something to eat? she asked with a small smile. I could come by with a pizza.

I'd rather wait. I've got a sandwich here now, and I don't want to stop. I'll pick something up on the way over, if it's not too late, and you still want me. She could hear something warm in his voice as she smiled in answer.

I always want you. Come as late as you want. I brought some work home too. She had the papers for Bram Morrison's next concert tour in her briefcase. I've got plenty to do to keep me busy.

Good, I'll see you later.

And then she remembered. Oh, by the way, Brandon, I got a call today from Nicky. She must have gotten mixed up on the dates, she thought we were coming to San Francisco. That's next week, isn't it? The coming weekend, he was going to the Golden Globes with her, and the following weekend they were going to San Francisco to see the children.

Actually, I ' I might have told her something about ' I thought it might make some sense to go up before the trial starts. After that, I really can't get away for a while, or at least I shouldn't. He sounded awkward as he tried to explain, and Allegra frowned as she sat looking at the view from her kitchen.

But we can't go this week. Mom and Dad are both nominated for awards, and so are three of my clients. Among them Carmen Connors. Did you forget? She couldn't believe he'd changed his mind. She'd been talking about it since before Christmas.

No, I just thought ' I don't have time to discuss this with you now, Allie, or I'll be stuck here all night. Why don't we talk about it later? His answer didn't put her mind to rest, and she was vague a little while later when she called her mother.

Blaire was shooting her series all week, as usual, and she was tired at night, after hours on the set, but she was always happy to hear from her older daughter. They saw each other frequently, although less so now that Allegra was so involved with Brandon.

Blaire reiterated the dinner invitation for Friday night, and told her that her brother, Scott, would be there. His homecomings were important to all of them, and Blaire liked nothing better than an evening with all her children.

Is he coming to the Golden Globes too? Allegra asked, always happy to see him.

He's going to stay home with Sam. He says award ceremonies are more fun on TV. At least he gets to see everyone he wants to, instead of being trampled by the crowd, unable to figure out who the reporters are running after.

Maybe he's right. Allegra laughed at the description. She knew that Sam would have been thrilled to go, but her parents never wanted her in the public eye, or as seldom as possible, and certainly not at the Golden Globes or the Academy Awards. Every starlet in Hollywood would be there, and every possible reporter. The only reason they had ever agreed to her modeling career was because no one knew who she was when they saw her pictures. She modeled under the name of Samantha Scott, her mother's maiden name, and although her mother was well-known, it seemed less conspicuous than Steinberg. Everyone in Hollywood knew who Simon Steinberg was, and they would have done anything to take pictures of his daughter. Anyway, I'll be there, Allegra reassured her. She was no longer quite as sure that Brandon would be there, though she didn't say anything about that to her mother. But eventually Blaire asked her. It was no secret between them that Brandon was not one of Blaire's favorite people, nor Simon's. They were both concerned that Brandon had gone out with her for two years, but still hadn't divorced his wife yet.

Will Prince Brandon be with us too? Blaire asked with an obvious edge to her voice, and Allegra hesitated for a long moment. She didn't want to get into a fight with her, but she didn't like what her mother had said, or the way she'd said it.

I'm not sure yet, Allegra said quietly, which spoke volumes to her mother. She was always defending him, and as far as Blaire was concerned, she shouldn't have to. He's preparing for trial, and he may have to work this weekend. She didn't think it was any of her mother's business that he might be going to San Francisco to see his children.