The Wedding Dress (21 page)

“
Part of the Florian treatment,
”
she assured him lightly.

But he said,
“
Nothing of the sort. Sheer natural Loraine charm. I should know. I’ve seen it develop from the schoolgirl stage.
”

“
Oh, Philip,
”
she laughed reminiscently as she got into the car beside him,
“
that seems such a long time ago!
”

“
What does, dear?
”

“
The day you first found me, sitting on the ground and moping, because it was my eighteenth birthday and no one knew or cared. And you took me home to your mother and gave me a wonderful birthday.
”

He laughed too, on a note of pleasant recollection.

“
Well, I’m going to do much the same thing now
—
take you home to my mother. But only for half an hour. She says she hasn’t seen you for ages, and I promised we would call in and have a drink with her before going out on our own.
”

“
Lovely,
”
said Loraine. But mostly for the specific reassurance that she and Philip were going to be on their own for most of the evening.

All the same, it was pleasant to see Mrs. Otway and receive fresh praise for her triumph on the opening day of the Collection. She even hardly minded when Mrs. Otway found an excuse for sending Philip off on some errand for her, which gave them ten minutes alone together, though she did feel faintly uncomfortable when her hostess plunged immediately into the delicate subject of the broken engagement.

“
I’m
so
relieved and satisfied to have seen the back of Elinor Roye,
”
Mrs. Otway stated with brevity and candor.
“
And quite grateful to you, dear, for the little part you played in bringing Philip to his senses.
”

“
Well, I don’t know that I did anything very active—
”
Loraine began.

“
No, no,
”
Mrs. Otway agreed, just a trifle too emphatically.
“
I wouldn’t want to make you feel you were seriously involved. It was just that, at that exact moment, he needed reminding that there were plenty of other attractive girls around besides the one he had, most mistakenly, chosen. You provided just that reminder, darling, and I’ll always remember you gratefully for that.
”

“
Th-thank you,
”
said Loraine uncertainly, for she could not escape the curious impression that she was being relegated, charmingly and affectionately, to the past.

“
You and I, who know our Philip so well,
”
went on Mrs. Otway, smiling,
“
can afford to be indulgent over the fact that he is a tiny bit too susceptible. But I must say we organized a lucky escape for him that time, didn’t we?
”

Mrs. Otway laughed reminiscently. But Loraine did not laugh, either reminiscently or otherwise. She stared at her hostess, in something between astonishment and dismay, unable to decide if she were being given a firm hint, or if Mrs. Otway genuinely did not realize the true position.

It was not less for Loraine to disillusion her at this point. But she thought of Philip saying that he had something very special to tell her, and she almost wished she could give the other woman
some
sort of hint of what was coming.

“
She won’t really like me much more than Elinor, in the role of Philip’s wife,
”
she thought, with a sudden flash of insight.
“
She wouldn’t like
anyone
as Philip’s wife. But perhaps I can win her over gradually.
”

In her certainty and her inner happiness, she could afford to feel generous. Though her degree of tolerance was sorely tried when Mrs. Otway went on, still in that smiling, reminiscent sort of way:

“
I’ve always thought of you as an affectionate younger sister for Philip, you know, Loraine dear, and I’m afraid I took it very much for granted that you would help me to save him from Elinor. If I was a bit crude about it, I know you will forgive me and understand.
”

She paused, and Loraine finally said,
“
Of course,
”
because there was really nothing else to say, unless she proposed to enter into some kind of argument
—
which was unthinkable.

“
One of these days, you and I will be able to congratulate ourselves afresh
—
when Philip
really
finds the right girl,
”
the older woman went on pleasantly,
“
and then we shall feel that all the trouble over Elinor was well worth while. It's a sort of
—
what shall I say?
—
family solidarity, isn’t it, darling?
”

Fortunately, Loraine was saved from having to give her views on this version of family solidarity for, at this moment, Philip returned
—
with the headache remedy which his mother had requested.

She now seemed, Loraine could not help observing, singularly bright for anyone with a headache, and she wondered if Philip too knew that he had been sent out of the way for a purpose.

“
Anyway, it doesn’t matter,
”
Loraine told herself, almost passionately.
“
Nothing matters except that Philip and I are to be on our own at last, with no shadow between us. It isn’t as though he doesn’t know the situation. It was lie who told me about her aversion to his marrying at all. But he’s quite capable of managing her, in the few things which matter to him, and we’ll find a way
—
he and I
—
to reconcile her to our marriage.
”

It was a relief, however, when they did get away on their own. For, whatever excuses one might make for her, Mrs. Otway had really been quite insufferable, and no smiles or endearments could make up for the brutal clarity with which she had tried to brush off Loraine now she had no further need of her.

Loraine had had it in mind to tell Philip
—
lightly, amusingly
—
of his mother’s efforts. But when it came to the point, she found she could not, and they talked of other things.

“
I’m taking you to the Corbeille des Fleurs,
”
Philip told her.
“
Do you know it?
”

“
No.
”
She shook her head.
“
But it sounds attractive.
”

“
I like it. We have to drive some way, but it’s worth it when one gets there,
”
he assured her. And so happy was she to be driving in his company and talking without the necessity of guarding her words, that she hardly noticed where they were going, and it was some while before the suspicion came to her that they were heading for the place to which Paul had taken her the previous evening.

The discovery disconcerted her beyond measure
—
as though, in some subtle way, she were being disloyal to her guardian. They had enjoyed themselves so much there, discussed their most intimate affairs, there, and i
n
some curious sense made the place very much their own.

Now, the idea that she was going there
w
ith Philip
—
probably to receive his proposal
—
made her so uncomfortable that she almost asked him to turn back and drive her somewhere else.

The impossibility of this, however, became immediately plain to her. Probably Philip had arranged this evening in some detail. It was not for her to spoil it by informing him that she already associated his chosen venue with someone also very dear to her
—
though in an entirely different way, of course.

Her
dismay was complete when they were even shown to the same table
—
Paul’s table
—
and she simply had to invent some mild complaint about too much breeze, and have another table found for them. And then, just as she began to hope she could keep her strange distress within bounds if she sat with her back to that charming, familiar corner, up came the same waiter who had waited on Paul and her, and, smiling at her in a fatherly way, he observed that it was pleasant to see Mademoiselle back so soon.

“
Have you been here before, then
?
”
Philip glanced at her quickly.
“
I thought you said you didn’t know it.
”

“
I didn’t know the name. I
—
recognized it, of course, when we got here.
”

“
When did you come before?
”
he wanted to know, obviously a little disappointed that he was not providing a novelty, after all.

“
Last night,
”
Loraine said reluctantly.

“
Last night?
”
He was plainly both disgusted and put out.
“
With your guardian?
”

“
Yes.
”

“
What an odd place for him to bring you.
”

“
Oh, why, Philip
?
It’s such a lovely place that I suppose it’s one of the natural spots to think of if one wants to give pleasure,
”
she said, in an effort to mollify him.

He laughed shortly. She had never seen him quite so obviously annoyed and disconcerted.

“
It’s what I would describe as a romantic spot,
”
he retorted.
“
I should have thought a mere guardian would have chosen something much more solid and conventional.
”

“
There’s nothing solid or conventional about Paul!
”

“
Are you telling me there’s something romantic about him, then?
”
was the dry inquiry.

“
Why
—
no,
”
said Loraine, and immediately knew that was not correct. Her guardian was, in his way, what one meant by romantic, she supposed. Only she could not possibly define just what degree of romanticism was involved to a rather angry Philip. Instead, she said, in a placatory way:

“
Philip, you sound quite
—
cross with me. I don’t know why.
”

“
I’m sorry.
”
He laughed and, reaching over, patted her hand.
“
Only you’re up in arms in a moment if there’s so much as a hint of criticism where your guardian’s concerned.
”

“
Am I?
”
She considered that without rancor.
“
Well, I suppose I’m very fond of him.
”

“
I suppose you must be,
”
agreed Philip, a little coolly,
and he turned his attention to the menu.

It is always difficult to say what makes or spoils an atmosphere. Still less is it possible to command the magic which comes only from the fusing of thought and feeling between two people. One can make the most elaborate and careful preparations, entertain the highest hopes
—
and yet, for some inexplicable reason, the incandescence never glows, the spirit never soars.

For a couple of hours, Loraine and Philip sat opposite each other, talking, laughing, recalling past occasions together. Outwardly, they were a charming couple, enjoying each other’s company exceedingly. But, in her heart, Loraine knew that something had gone wrong. The minutes ticked by, and never once did Philip mention the very special
“
something
”
he had wanted to tell her.

CHAPTER
ELEVEN

LORAINE tried to tell herself that on the way home it would be different. They would be entirely alone, in the se
cl
usion of the car, and probably
that
was when he planned to tell her what was in his heart.

But when it came to the return journey, he drove rather fast, and they talked of quite trivial things, so that it was impossible for her even to refer lightly to the fact that he had said he had something special to tell her
—
and what was it?

As they neared home, the only thing of importance which she could bring herself to ask was:

“
When do you go to England, Philip?
”

“
I’m not quite sure, sweetheart.
”
He still used charming terms of endearment, so that from time to time she wondered if she had simply imagined the glass barrier between them, and if what she took for withdrawal was no more than the tactful timing of a man who had recently broken off a previous engagement.

“
I expect it will be at the end of this week or the beginning of next,
”
Philip said, after a moment’s reflection.

“
But you’ll be back in plenty of time for the Fete?
”

“
That’s a promise!
”
He gave her a quick, reassuring smile which did a good deal towards comforting her for an evening which had certainly not fulfilled her bright hopes.

When they parted he kissed her
—
a longer, more significant kiss than any he had given her so far
—
and he said in his most endearing and beguiling way:

“
I’m sorry I was ill-tempered earlier in the evening.
”

“
Oh, Philip, you weren’t! Or, if you were, it doesn’t matter now.
”

“
My kind, forgiving little Loraine! But the fact is that I get jealous every time you grow starry-eyed about that wretched guardian of yours.
”

She ought, of course, to have assured him he had no need to be jealous of anyone, or at least to repudiate laughingly any charge of being starry-eyed about Paul.
But, instead of following either of these wise courses, she simply said stubbornly:

“
He’s not a wretched guardian. He’s a dear and I’m very fond of him. I understand your not being able to do him justice, but
please,
Philip, don’t run him down to me. I can’t take it
—
and I won’t.
”

“
Loyal Loraine,
”
he said, but mockingly rather than approvingly.
“
But don’t rely on him too much in the future, my sweet. When he gets back his Elinor
—
or she gets him back
—
you won’t be the most welcome of guests in your guardian’s household any more.
”

For some reason or other, she was so angry at that that she looked him coolly in the eye and remarked casually:
“
I might be married myself by then.
”

“
True,
”
he said.
“
You might.
”
And putting two fingers under her chin, he tilted up her face and kissed her again.
“
You’re sweet when you’re angry.
”

Then he bade her goodnight and drove away, almost before she had had time to enter the building.

She felt depressed again. But .also she still felt angry. It was an odd experience, to feel really angry with Philip, for this carried with it something she had never exercised towards him before
—
a distinct suggestion of criticism.

He
had
no right to run down her guardian to her. And it had been horrid and slightly malicious of him to remind her of the unwelcome part, which Elinor would probably play in any future life with her guardian. Most of all, when he had specifically said he had something special to tell her, he should have found some chance for doing so.

“
Perhaps I’m an optimistic fool,
”
she thought, as she went up in the lift.
“
Perhaps I jumped to too hasty conclusions. He might not have meant what I thought he meant. But then, he must have meant
something.
And absolutely nothing of special interest was discussed
—
except perhaps his journey to England.
”

The lift stopped at that moment, but she went on standing there, for the chill idea had come to her that perhaps
that
was all he had meant. She racked her brains to remember the exact sequence in his telephone conversation, and she was nearly sure that he had mentioned the
important
“
something
”
at an early stage. He had advanced it as a pressing reason for her seeing him.

“
And then, when I held out against his arguments and suggested a later meeting,
”
Loraine recalled reluctantly,
“
he said he would have to go home to
England
.
”

Slowly she got out of the lift and fumbled for her key.

If that were the real explanation of what had once seemed a radiant statement, fraught with lovely significance, then indeed she had been deluding herself. But
—
there was no denying
—
it
was
a possible explanation.

“
I’ve been a fool
—
just as I thought,
”
Loraine told herself.

But, even as she reproached herself, she remembered that it was Philip’s very special air towards her which had first given her the idea that he might well be going to ask her to marry him.

The words to which she had pinned so much hope might not, it was true, have that exact significance at that exact time. But his whole attitude had justified her belief that
one
day he intended to say the words she longed to hear.

All the same, she entered the flat in a very sober mood. But then she saw, by the light in the drawing-room, that her guardian must have already returned, and a sense of indescribable relief and pleasure swept over her. It was like finding that a bright fire was burning when one came into what one had expected to be an empty house on a cold night.

“
Oh, Paul, hallo!
”
She went in to greet him.
“
Did you get home early, after all?
”

“
Only about twenty minutes ago.
”
He smiled across at her indulgently, perhaps because her own pleasure was so patent.
“
Have you had a good time?
”

“
Lovely, thank you,
”
she said, a trifle too quickly.

“
Where did you go?
”

“
Oddly enough, to the same place that you chose last night.
”

“
Oh, no!
”
A look of annoyance and protest came into his face and, feeling that she simply could not bear to have a fresh argument, she cried:

“
Don’t
you
be cross with me about it! A girl can’t help it if two men happen to like the same restaurant.
”

“
I’m not cross with you, Loraine,
”
he said, and held out his hand to her.

With a little rush, she came into the circle of his arm, and leaned against him with a fresh sense of relief and reassurance.

“
Who was cross with you, dear?
”
he asked gently.

“
Well, Philip was
—
rather.
”
She didn’t really want to tell him about Philip’s fall from grace, but it was so wonderful to have a sympathetic confidant.
“
You see, I didn’t know the name of the place
—
I don’t think you mentioned it last night
—
and I didn’t realize where we were going until we had almost arrived.
”

She stopped. But the silence was so subtly encouraging that she went on.

“
It was too late to say anything or make any rearrangement
—
”

“
Did you want to, Loraine
?
”
he asked mildly.

“
Very much so!
”

“
Why, dear?
”

“
Well, I felt it was rather
our
place, you know. It had been such a lovely evening
—
just you and me together
—
and we’d talked about such, very personal things. I didn’t really want to associate the place with anyone else.
”

“
Very sweet of you,
”
he said, and touched her cheek, smilingly, with gentle fingers.
“
However, as you say, it was too late to make any change when you discovered where you were going.
”

“
Yes. And, as I thought Philip would be disappointed to find I had already been there, I said nothing. But then
—
we had the same waiter, and he recognized me and said it was nice to see me again so soon.
”

“
Extremely awkward,
”
agreed Paul, biting his lip slightly but not entirely concealing his amusement.

“
Of course Philip asked me when I had last been there, and I had to tell him
—
and he wasn’t at all pleased.
”

“
Too bad,
”
said Paul cheerfully.

“
It
was
too bad,
”
she assured him, a little reproachfully.
“
In some way I can’t explain, it spoiled the evening.
”

“
Do you mean he sulked?
”

“
Oh, no!
”
She could not allow that Philip had done anything so petty as that.
“
No, he didn’t sulk. But,
”
she sighed involuntarily,
“
somehow the magic was gone.
”

“
I’m so sorry,
”
he said kindly, and he lightly ruffled her hair.
“
But magic’s a curious and elusive quality, Loraine. One can never arrange it
—
or account for it. The only thing I can tell you is that, at your age, it does tend to recur.
”

“
Dear Paul! You’re so comforting.
”
She hugged him.
“
Now tell me about your own evening. Did you go out with one of your colleagues?
”

“
No. I went out with Elinor.
”

“
O-oh.
”
For some reason, she felt an inexpressible chill. Possibly at the sheer mention of Elinor, who had caused her so much heartache and might do so again.
“
And it was
—
satisfactory
?
”

“
Very satisfactory indeed.
”

“
I’m so glad
—
for you,
”
Loraine said earnestly. But she thought of what Philip had said about her not being welcome in Paul’s house, once Elinor returned to the picture. And the prospect caused her such acute dismay that, in order to hide it, she had to pretend to give a slight yawn and said she must go to bed now.

He did not offer to detain her. So she slipped from the arm of his chair, where she had been sitting, dropped a light but dutiful kiss on the top of his head and turned to go.

But then, when she reached the door, she was overwhelmed by such an irresistible impulse to know more of the circumstance which would affect her so deeply that she turned back and looked at him across the room.

“
Are you
—
are you going to be married quite soon, Paul?
”
she asked, unable, in her anxiety, to think of a way to soften the crudeness of that.

He raised his eyebrows.