The Weight of Rain (34 page)

“Are you working on one of my dresses?” I hope she doesn’t feel I’m asking out of guilt. I genuinely am interested in what she’s doing and worry that she’s been too focused on work.

“I’m working on the dress that is going to make me go down in fashion world history. You better practice your smile. It’s going to be seen everywhere when they see this dress.”

“Whitening strips, got it.”

Allie laughs, and behind the swishing of the pine branches, I hear the rustle of fabric once again. “You’re going to do great, Lo. If you need anything, call or text me. I’ll be home all night.”

“Thanks, Al.”

“I want to know how it goes. Stop by when you get home!”

I laugh my agreement and hang up. Taking a deep breath of the Oregon rain that is hanging on every surface like a coat of lace, my lungs quiver, still not fully convinced.

The lack of additional cars in the driveway fills me with relief and confusion. Did they decide to go to dinner? Are they late? Maybe they’re like my mom and don’t know how to honor a commitment.

Like every other time over the past six months, I use my key and head inside. Postponing this meeting would be ideal. I don’t feel ready to meet the rest of King’s family, yet it oddly fills me with a sense of disappointment and an even larger dose of irritation. Why wouldn’t they have called to let me know? Is he embarrassed to have them meet me? Did Kash decide it was a bad idea? Questions are swimming through my mind, triggering emotions to fire off left and right, softening the sounds of voices until I’m met with their source. King, Summer, Kash, and Kenzie are standing in the kitchen, their stiff postures reflecting that none of them are comfortable. I stand in the doorway, staring at them as a group, and then slowly each of them individually. Their hair, though varying shades, all has the same chestnut undertones, their skin sharing a dose of additional pigment that reveals their bloodline is from further south on the equator, and while they all look drastically different, there’s a striking resemblance that slaps me across the face. How could I of all people have missed this? I study people’s faces! I have been taught to see similarities, to recognize the minor resemblance they all share. I’ve drawn each of them!

I can’t hear their words as they all turn to look at me, my eyes settling on Kenzie, who is projecting a silent scream of shock.

“But, you have different last names,” I sputter, shaking my head as I take a step back.

“Lo.” My name is barely a whisper. Kenzie is just as surprised by my presence, which confuses me that much more since she’s who got me this job. “I didn’t realize … I’ve been meaning to tell you … Lo…” Her face tinges with embarrassment. I’ve never seen it before. With all of the mornings she’s faced me after having a visitor, she’s never looked even slightly uncomfortable.

“You didn’t realize I was referring to your brother when I asked about him
ten thousand
times?” My heart is beating erratically, but my voice is surprisingly calm, holding on to a thread of hope that I am clenching with both fists.

Her eyes shift under the weight of my stare. “I was just trying to help him. He loves Isabelle. He was starting to realize that, and then he met you and forgot. I needed him to understand why you two would never work.” She takes a few steps closer to me, her shoulders raised with conviction. “You’re from small town nowhere, and you don’t know anything about the BMX world or our family. Isabelle grew up with us. They’re meant to be together.”

My mouth feels tight, like the muscles are yearning to form an objection or scream, but my breath doesn’t seem to climb any higher than my chest. I stare at her, imploring my words to return.

“I hated you when I found out you guys slept together. I hated you even more when he asked about you. I thought for sure that when you started working here, you’d both understand that things could never work between you. I never in my wildest dreams imagined you two would start dating. Never. I thought you would get tired of how stubborn and rigid he gets, and I thought you’re carefree ignorance would drive him insane. Now you’re just going to break each other’s hearts because you’re going to Italy in a few months, and King is finally starting to talk about racing, and those worlds—they don’t coexist.”

“What?” King’s words barely register as I think of all the times Charleigh, Allie, and I discussed him. Discussed him
with
her
. Just last week Allie and I were talking about him while Kenzie was in the apartment.

Kenzie’s gaze remains on mine as I absently catch King shaking his head and the fact that he’s muttering something. “Isabelle’s my best friend. They were supposed to realize how perfect they were together at that party. He wasn’t supposed to have feelings for someone else!”

“Are you out of your goddamned mind, Kenzie?” King’s been speaking, working to divert attention and intervene, but these words are the first to succeed because they are so loud it makes my heart stall for a second with surprise. “You told me she wasn’t interested in me! That she liked another guy!”

“I was trying to help you.”

“Help me?” King bellows.

“She drives you crazy!” Kenzie continues. “You’ve said so yourself.”

“Kenzie.” It takes me several seconds to process Kash’s voice but an instant to realize he’s touching me. He has wrapped a hand around my shoulder with a firmness I know is meant to be comforting, but right now, it produces the opposite effect.

“I can’t believe you.” My words are too quiet to sound like a threat. I shake my head and take a deep breath to fight my emotions from breaking through.

“Lo, I’m sorry. I didn’t know how to tell you after you started dating. I knew you guys would eventually—”

“Kenzie, just shut up!” King yells. His face has turned hard, his eyes a darker shade of brown, and while I expect his fingers to be pinching the bridge of his nose like they do when he’s upset, they’re fisted at his sides. My eyes get distracted by the movement of his T-shirt, exposing his breaths, which are coming in quick heaves. Everything about him portrays anger.

My body feels too large, my arms and legs too long as I order them to move.

“Lo, wait.” Kenzie’s face is haunted. I don’t doubt for a second that she’s regretting what she’s done. The tears streaming down her cheeks express more than just the guilt for the deception.

“I can’t believe you. I can’t believe you had the audacity to lie to my face countless times. Then you decided to hate me and treat me like a goddamned leper. You’re the most selfish person I’ve ever met. You need to get out of your own head and look the hell around.” Shaking my head, my thoughts sift through curses I want to scream at Kenzie, but I know that would make me no better than her. “Why in the hell did you encourage me to get this job? You basically gifted it to me on a silver platter.”

“Because he wanted to find you. I was afraid he wouldn’t stop. Don’t you understand? Isabelle’s my best friend. He needed to get over you.” Kenzie’s eyeliner and mascara run with her last few words.

“It’s none of your business, Kenzie. You don’t get to be like Mom and control this shit!” Kash objects.

“Kash, it’s Isabelle.”

“I know that, Kenz. I know you’re not trying to hurt people, but—”

“Get out Kenzie,” King orders. “Your entire life you’ve blamed Mom for meddling in your business, begged Kash and me to help get her off your back. She never pulled a stunt this sick and twisted. Never. You want to know why you hate her? It’s because you’re just like her.”

The fact that I’ve never met their mom or heard any of them mention her in detail doesn’t matter. I can sense the harshness of his message in the way Kenzie’s narrow shoulders fall, and her eyes are glassy with tears. It causes my emotions to somersault with the need to stand up for her, while the urge to condemn her is still actively present in my thoughts. “I need to go.”

“Lo, we need to talk.” King crosses the distance between us with intentions clear in his eyes. His hand swallows the golden bangle along with my wrist. “Kash…” He doesn’t say more. I don’t know if it’s because they’re both already aware of what’s going to transpire next, or if he’s simply passing the baton to him, done with his turn in the relay.

Emotions are running rampant, shooting out accusations and questions before King has the office door closed.

“Why didn’t you tell me? Why didn’t you ask me?” The questions burst through my lips, nearly as angry as the ones I had directed toward Kenzie.

“Because I thought you were dating someone else! I thought you were just like so many others that didn’t give a shit about me, only my name.”

“I’ve never cared about your name!”

“I know!” King’s words are still too loud, like he can’t manage to get his own emotions in check.

“That’s why you thought Charleigh was a guy.”

“Of course that’s why I thought she was!” He dips his head, closing his eyes.

“Do you love Isabelle?”

King’s head snaps level again, his eyes bright. “No!” We focus on one another, a silent conversation passing between us that consists of his plea for me to trust him, an insult for my insinuation to a question he’s already answered, along with an apology that I’m having to ask again.

“Never. Kenzie’s right, I did grow up with Isabelle. She’s like a sister to me. There was never a time I even considered liking her as anything more.”

“This is really…”

“I know.”

“What if she’s right?” I don’t bother specifying which part she may be right about. Every one of them would be awful, and I hate considering any of them.

“We can’t think about it like that. What if she’s wrong? If you go into something already thinking you’re going to fail, what’s the purpose of doing anything in life? You wouldn’t be going to school to have an art major. I wouldn’t be considering stepping into competition. We’d still be thinking the world is flat, fearing we’d fall off the edge if we got too far out. But I’m not going to let that fear ruin my chance at having one of the best things happen to me.”

My chest feels heavy, like I have too much air, or too much blood, or maybe my organs have suddenly tripled in size. I knew that I mattered to him; I just never realized it could be this much.

“I need you to go back to being an asshole for a few minutes before I say something I’m not ready for.”

“I wasn’t that bad.” King looks like he wants to smile by the way his cheeks move up, but it quickly becomes a wince. “Was I?”

A smirk pulls at my lips as I nod. “You were a class-A asshole at times. It was easier when I could hate you.”

“I don’t want you to hate me.”

“I don’t want to care about you this much,” I admit.

“I don’t want you to stop.” King’s eyes are warm, gentle as they hold mine. The desire to have him hold me and fix this, fix everything, is so tempting.

“All my life people have been there when it was convenient, when it benefited them.”

“I want to be there for all of it, the good, bad, ugly, and everything in between.”

“That’s easy to say now.”

“The last six months have been anything but easy and good. Still, look where we are. Look where we’re going, Lo.” King’s voice is calm and assured as he takes a step closer to me, not even slightly deterred or defensive about my concern. It makes something warm and tingly to spread through my entire body.

“You need to go talk to Kenzie.”

“First I need to make sure you’re okay. I want you to tell me you aren’t going to let what she’s done affect us.”

“It won’t. It might make living with her more difficult, but it doesn’t change anything between us. Besides, I get off on proving people wrong.” Eyebrows raised, he struggles to conceal his smile. “Don’t even,” I say, raising a hand. “That wasn’t intended to be dirty.”

“Yet it was. I like that you think dirty. No need to hide it.”

“Go talk to your sister.”

“Going.” He doesn’t move though. King’s hand curves around my waist, pulling me closer to him as he takes a step forward. We kiss for several long moments, and while it leaves me breathless and with the promise of all he can make me feel, it isn’t a hot kiss filled with lust. It’s packed with passion and sincerity, ensuring me that everything is going to be okay.

I
HAVEN’T
seen Kenzie for two days, not since King came back into the office, where I waited for him to sort through his family drama, and told me Kash was giving her a ride home. I didn’t pry … much. I knew by his tired expression that he was feeling remorseful for what he had yelled at her. I feel a little guilty that I’m so relieved to not have seen her. The inevitable conversation between us in an attempt to iron things out is without a doubt going to be awkward and forced.