The Weston Front (6 page)

“What is this, boarding school?” I asked, holding my arms out.
 
Reprimanded?

“Did you go to boarding school?” he asked, looking curious.

I rolled my eyes at the subject change and replied, “So what if I did?”

He shook his head and kept grinning.
  “Just interested.”

“Sure you are,” I mumbled, taking a step back and feeling a little more at ease.

He folded his arms over his chest, as the frown returned, saying, “Now seriously, why is it so hard for you believe that someone else cares about you and who you are?”

“It’s not that…”

“Then go to the fucking dance with me,” he said loudly, stepping forward.  I stepped back and ran into the rough exterior of the log cabin.  He penned me in with a hand pressed against the wall on either side of my head, staring at me.  Waiting.  Oh, he wanted an answer.  I finally figured that out after a long silence.

“Okay,” I softly complied, pressing my lips together as I thought of his kiss that morning.  A barn dance sounded tortuous
, but maybe with him it wouldn’t really be so bad.

“You really are so sweet,” he sighed, looking a little conflicted as he stared at me.  He finally pushed off of the wall and backed up a few steps.
“Let’s go.”

I guessed I wasn’t changing, then.  I took my laptop and set it on the table inside the sliding door, then turned and followed him off of the deck.  Clouds rolled in overhead as the air turned cooler.  About halfway there he finally spoke.

“The next time you forget a sweater you’re getting reprimanded, too.”

“Anything else?” I asked with artificial sincerity.

I saw his mouth turn up slightly as we walked in the twilight.  At least I amused him.  We approached the Dining Cabin and I paused at the doors, rubbing my arms as the wind blew strands of hair across my face.

“You need to eat,” he frowned, holding the door and looking annoyed.

Sighing and realizing that I probably wouldn’t win this one, either, I slowly stepped inside and went for the sandwiches.  I grabbed the chopped brisket and quickly grabbed a spot at the very end of one of the long tables, perching on the edge of the bench and feeling relieved that no one was really sitting down at that end.

“You don’t talk much, you’re sweet as can be, and you don’t really like people.  See?  I already know so much about you,” he said, shaking his head as he sat across from me and placed his cowboy hat on the bench next to him.  What was it about his messy hair that was such a turn on?  I felt my cheeks flush as I quickly looked down at my food.

“I like people,” I argued, taking a bite and wiping my face.

His mouth turned up at the corner and my skin prickled.  I concentrated super hard on that sandwich.

“But you hate eating family style in here and when you do, you sit alone at the end of the table,” he retorted, eating his sliced brisket.

“I like people fine I just don’t like…crowds,” I said, taking another bite.  The truth was that I felt so uncomfortable in confined spaces with a lot of people that I sometimes got short of breath or nauseated.  This was a new thing, by the way, starting around the time that Dan decided we couldn’t get married.  I couldn’t explain it.

“Hey, it’s alright,” West kindly said, turning his head to the side and looking at me with concern. “I just like getting to know you better by making these little discoveries on my own.”

“Well what about you?” I asked, frowning down at my plate.
“I haven’t discovered anything about you except that you don’t like the guest you’re hosting to have any fun.”

He actually laughed at that,
and then shook his head as he stood and put his hat back on.

“Ready to go?” he asked, smiling handsomely.

I stood up and nodded, walking past the dwindling diners and out of the glass doors into the night.  Drizzle sprayed across my skin and I shivered as West put his arm around my shoulder and drew me to his side, flicking open an umbrella and leading me down the stone steps.  His body was hard and warm as we walked side by side under the gas lamps towards the barn.

We could hear the music and s
ee the lights from the road, and when we walked inside the large entryway the band was blaring country music and everyone was laughing and dancing.  I paused by the door as West shook out the umbrella and set it down on a hay bale, chewing on my thumbnail as I took in the scene. 

Everyone was having fun.  I saw Rowdy and Caroline and recognized a lot of other delighted faces as everyone drank and laughed as the banjos plucked on the little stage in the corner.

“Come on, let’s dance,” he said into my ear, his hot breath making my entire body tingle.  My breath caught as I looked up at him smiling so confidently at me.  He took my hand, pulling it away from my mouth to stop my abuse of my thumbnail, and walked us over to the cleared floor area where people were laughing and twirling around.

He pulled me around to face him, holding me close with a hand at the small of my back, my right hand in his left, then began two-stepping with the other couples.  Dan and I used to have two-stepping arguments.  He thought the steps were right-together-left-together and I thought they were slow-slow-quick-quick-slow.  Now we’d never argue about it again because he’d be dan
cing with someone else, someone who wouldn’t pick a fight about a dance step. 

I suddenly hated myself for thin
king about my fights with Dan while I was dancing with such a hot guy like West.

A woman ran into my back, giggling and apologizing as West nodded and twirled me the other way.  I turned my focus back up to him as he peered down pensively at me.  A man flung his body backwards and stepped on my boot.  Another couple pushed me face first into West’s chest.  He smelled so good that I let myself imagine my
face against his bare chest, his sweaty, hard, bare chest.

My head suddenly spun around and I felt nauseated as someone else bumped into us.

“Blake?” West asked, leaning down and looking at me with concern.  Or probably pity.  I stepped away from him as the light-headedness lingered.

“I need some air,” I breathlessly said, pushing past him.

“Okay, I’ll be out there in one second,” he called over the music, but I was halfway to the door.  I burst out into the rain and darkness, leaning over on my knees and breathing through my nose.  I couldn’t go back in there.  I looked over my shoulder and knew he would come out for me.  Then I just turned and ran.

I sprinted.  I hadn’t run so hard or so fast since I was a little kid.  The rain pelted my skin as I sloshed through the muddy trails and out onto the blacktop road.  That place had been so full of people having fun.  I had been dancing with the best looking guy in the room.  And for some reason all I could think about was Dan.  Fucking Dan.

My muddy boots clomped onto the porch and I kicked them off as I pressed my thumb to the door panel.  Bursting inside the living room lit by only a small deerskin lamp in the corner, I immediately grabbed my cell phone off of the light gray granite kitchen counter.

“Hello?” a familiar voice cautiously asked.

I sank to the floor, leaning over on my knees as I breathed into the phone.  I couldn’t speak.

“Blakey?”

My eyes popped open as every emotion I’d ever felt quickly rushed over me.  “Don’t call me that,” I said through my teeth.

“What’s…what’s going on?  Are you okay?”

Tears blurred my vision as I wrapped my hands around my stomach and put the phone on the floor on speaker, unable to hold it in my shaky hands.

“What did I do?” I quietly asked.

“What do you mean?”

“What did I do?” I asked a little louder, a little angrier.

“I don’t…you haven’t done anything…”

“What did I do to make you break up with me?” I asked, tears now streaming down my cheeks.

Now it was his turn to breathe quietly into the phone.  “Blake, you didn’t do anything…”

“Then why did you leave me?” I tried to shout, though there was no air in my lungs so it came out in short little huffs.

“Sweetheart…”

“Don’t call me that!” I shouted at the top of my lungs, placing a hand on either side of the phone as I screamed at it on the hardwood floor.
“You never told me why!  You just said it was over but I want to know why!  I want to know what I did!”

“It wasn’t you…”

“Please tell me what I did!”

“Blake…”

“I have to know what I did so I don’t do it again!  Please, Dan, please tell me!” I cried, closing my eyes as tears fell all over the phone and the floor.  I was begging and unashamed. “I want to change!  I don’t want to do whatever it is that made you leave me!  Please tell me what I did!  Please…”

“Jesus Christ, Blake,” he quietly replied as I choked out more tears.
“I’m sorry, I’m so sorry if that’s what you really think…I…I never meant to hurt you like this.  It’s been six months.  I thought you’d moved on by now…”

“How am I supposed to move on when you won’t tell me what went wrong?  How am I supposed to fix it?” I sniffed, wiping my nose with the back of my hand.

“Have you…have you met someone?” he asked, sounding a little too happy.

“That’s not your concern
,
Danie
l
.  I just want you to tell me…”

“Blakey, there is absolutely nothing wrong with you, do you hear me?” he sighed, letting out a few expletives before he continued.
“I wasn’t ready to get married and…yes, I wasn’t ready to get married t
o
yo
u
.  But you have to realize that you are perfect, okay?  And I’m sure this guy sees that, too.  You’re adorable and one of the smartest people I know and you can make anyone smile and laugh…I was just, I was just being selfish, Sweetheart.  We’d been together for so long that I wanted to date other girls and I know that I hurt you and I’m so sorry,but you have to know
…
it’s not yo
u
.  Okay?”

I leaned over and laid my head down on the floor, crying and shivering in my wet clothes.  I ended the phone
call; too angry and sad to say anything else to the only guy I’d ever loved.  And he’d just gotten tired of me.  I was boring.  Predictable.  Could I change that?  I wanted to.

My eyes closed as I realized how tired I was.  Maybe I’d just sleep on it tonight and everything would look better in the morning.  Sniffling, I barely heard the boots shuffling across the floor towards me.  I could hardly keep my eyes open as someone wrapped me up in their arms and carried me to my dark room.  I leaned against the bed as my wet clothes were peeled off, shivering as a warm, fluffy towel rubbed up and down my body.  I sniffled again and wiped a hand across my eyes as I fell back onto the pillows and felt the warm tan comforter being pulled up to my chin.

Finally, I got my breath back from all of that crying and settled calmly into the warmth of the bed as my hair was brushed off of my forehead again and again.  I think I even managed a ‘thank you’ before waking up to bright sunlight.

And my completely naked body under the covers.

My tank top and pajama bottoms were neatly folded in the top drawer of my dresser, so I quickly threw them on and raced out into the living room.  Quiet.  Sighing heavily, I marched over to Caroline’s room and banged on the door.

“Caroline?” I called, folding my arms over my chest and rolling my head to stretch my neck.  “Rowdy?”

The door opened and Rowdy was standing there, eyes half shut with his chest very bare and crumpled up jeans in his fist covering his important parts.

“Feeling better?” he asked, grinning as he leaned against the door.

“Y-yes,” I replied, frowning up at him and trying my hardest to focus on his face.  “What do you mean?”

“When we got home West was here fussing all over you.  Said you weren’t well…”

“That wa
s
Wes
t
?” I squealed, unconsciously folding my arms over my breasts.  Somehow, when I thought it’d been Rowdy I was angry that he’d taken my clothes off.  But now that I knew it was West I was mortified.  I blushed as I looked back up at Rowdy.  “Sorry, I didn’t mean to wake you up.”

“Hey, are you really okay?  What happened?”

“Nothing,” I replied, throwing a quick smile over my shoulder and busying myself with making coffee.  He waited a moment before shutting the door, and I instantly relaxed when he did.

Oh god, how much had West seen last night, not including my naked body?  Had he seen my melt down on the phone with my ex-fiancé?  Attractive.  Really fucking attractive.  I stood on the deck, sipping my coffee in the morning sunlight as everything dripped from the rain the night before.  What was I going to do?  Go on like nothing had happened?  Go home?

My stomach growled as I inhaled the fresh pine air and felt a little better by the minute.  Dan had said that I hadn’t done anything wrong…that I shouldn’t change.  That still wasn’t really an answer as to why he’d broken up with me but I did feel a little better about it.  I resolved that I was going to have a good day that day even if it killed me.

Freshly showered and dressed I clomped my muddy boots up the road towards the coffee shop.  I pulled the brim of my hat low over my eyes so I wouldn’t have to make eye contact when I passed people.  My t-shirt was from my old days in the National Literature Honors Society, and was white with black lettering and the words, ‘I Like Big Books and I Cannot Lie’ across the front.  I smiled as I wore the thin shirt.  It was one of my favorites, reminding me of fun times in college.

“I really wish you’d just let me know when you’re ready to leave your cabin.”

My muscles clenched, but I tried not to act too surprised as I leaned on the sturdy log fence surrounding the coffee shop.  Sipping my coffee, I took a big bite of my muffin and threw a small grin up at West.  He stood there, hands on his hips, just waiting for me to defend myself, I’m sure.  I remained silent.

He pressed his lips together in a hard line, annoyed by the looks of it, and then disappeared inside.  I exhaled and ate another bite of my muffin, watching the kids play baseball in a pasture in the distance.  The hair on my neck stood up and I threw a quick glance over my shoulder, finding West standing there with a paper coffee cup, just staring at me.  I jerked my head back around and sipped my coffee, ignoring him.

He exhaled as he stood next to me, contemplating whether or not to bring up last night, and the running away from the barn dance, and the crying, and the nakedness…clearly.  I think he decided it was best to just show a little mercy, though.

“So, what do you want to do today?”

I tossed the muffin wrapping and coffee cup in the trash can and brushed my hands together.  “I want to shoot stuff,” I replied, putting my hands on my hips and staring up at him.

The smallest of grins appeared on his face but he quickly turned his head and adjusted his hat, his eyes squinting in the sunlight.  He sipped his coffee and cleared his throat, only looking down at me when he could conjure up hi
s
seriou
s
face.

“If we go there you absolutely have to do what I say, exactly how I say it, and exactly when I say it, or there will be consequences, am I clear?” he asked, raising an eyebrow.

“Yes, you’ll reprimand me if I’m a bad girl,” I smirked, totally mocking him.

He inhaled and threw his coffee cup violently into the trashcan, turning his body and adjusting his hat.  I watched his back for a few seconds with total confusion, and then leaned back a little when he turned to face me with a resolute look on his face.

“After you,” he said in a forced polite voice, sweeping his arms towards the sounds of distant gunfire.

I dropped my arms to my sides and began walking with purpose towards the shooting range.  This was definitely going under the victory column.  I was very pleased with myself by the time we approached the cement slab covered with a wooden veranda and about 15 or so other guests getting instructions and firing at targets.

“Survival Day,” one of the cowboys said, nodding at the guests getting coached on how to stand and how to aim.  “We’re showing them how to safely react with a firearm when in danger…like if you come across a bear out here.”

He winked down at me, making me smile, but it quickly turned into a frown as West’s annoyed face came between us and he handed me a gun.  The weight surprised me a little, and when I looked down I realized why.

“This is a BB gun,” I dispassionately stated, looking down at the pump action Daisy in my hands.  I’d had the exact same one when I was six years old.

“Can’t do much damage with that,” he nodded, pushing his hat up on his forehead as I scowled up at him.

“Everyone else here is using at least a .22!” I loudly said, gesturing at the people around me.  I even saw one guy with a .243 Winchester.

“You’ll be safer with a Daisy.”

“I’ll be safer with a pistol if I need to survive!” I yelled, pointing over to the sign by a wooden table that indicated it was Survival Day. “I know how to handle them, I have one…”

“You can survive with a BB gun,” he calmly said, though it seemed a little forced as he stared down at me.

“The only thing I will accomplish by shooting something with a BB gun is just pissing it off!” I argued, holding the stock and pumping the air rifle as I glared up at West with exasperation.

“That’s not true,” he sighed, stepping back with the instructors and leaning on a waist high stone pillar.  He smiled arrogantly and crossed one boot over the other, chuckling with the others.

I finished pumping the BB gun, flushed with anger, and quickly drew it up to my shoulder, aiming right above his knee on his bent leg and pulling the trigger. 

At the faint sound of the littl
e
pin
g
I knew it had been a terrible idea.

“Ah!  God damn it!” he shouted, stumbling forward and grabbing his knee, looking up at me like I was totally crazy.  “What the fuck are you doing?”

“Told you it would just piss off whatever I shot,” I shrugged, slamming the Daisy on a tabletop and walking through the completely silent shooting range as everyone just stared at me.  What, they’d never seen a girl in her mid-twenties with a BB gun on a bad day? 

Though…the guilt was creeping in.

I made it about two steps up the hill when suddenly someone grabbed my arm and yanked upwards and forwards, leaving me no choice but to stumble helplessly afterwards.
 
Oh shit
.
  It was the big fat Santa guy.  The boss.  How unlucky was I that he’d been there?  My feet could barely keep up with his long strides and he was holding my arm at such an awkward angle that I had to cry out in pain every now and then when I failed to keep in step next to him.

Shit
!
  How would I explain this?  We rounded a few pine trees and he dragged me through a back door in the Administration Cabin, down a dark wood paneled hallway, and into a huge office with oversized everything.  Enormous desk, big chairs, big coffee table, tall windows looking out over the property, and then there was me: tiny and insignificant and of course, in big trouble.

He released my arm and paced in front of his desk for a minute before pinning me with a look.

“Do you mind very much, Miss Campbell, explaining to me what in the hell you think you were doing back there?” he asked, his voice seeming to be forced into calmness.

I folded my hands in front of me guiltily and shook my head.  Tears swelled in my eyes as the anger I’d felt towards West’s self-righteousness subsided.  “I…I’m so sorry,” I apologized, jumping when the door slammed shut behind me and West strode in, looking infuriated.  I shrank away from both of them and bumped into the floor to ceiling bookshelves.

“This,” the boss began, holding his arms out and pacing again. “This has never happened here.  This is un-fucking-precedented!”  He now was pointing at me.  I pushed my back into the shelves as I brought my folded hands up to my mouth, chewing on my thumbnail.

“I really really am sorry,” I said, trying to make my voice louder as it came out in a scared little squeak.  God, they looked angry.

“I don’t know what to do, because since I’ve been the director here, I’ve never ever had to deal with anything like this!” the boss shouted, slamming his straw hat onto his desk and running his fingers through his gray hair.

“Now, Dusty, just calm down,” West began, giving me the evil eye as he held his hand up to the director.  “Remember your heart…”

“Yeah, yeah,” he huffed, taking a couple of breaths and then glaring over at me. “Everyone down there saw what happened.  She can’t just go back out onto the ranch afte
r
shootin
g
a host!”

“They all also saw you grab a hold of her and drag her up here,” West nodded.  “I’m sure they’re thinking she’s being punished right now.”

Punishe
d
?  I opened my mouth at that but quickly shut it as he raised an eyebrow at me.  I squeezed my hands together.  I really did feel pretty bad, though he didn’t look in the least bit injured.  I knew from youthful indiscretions that bb’s bounced right off of denim.

“Didn’t even break the skin,” West grinned, slapping his thigh.  “Didn’t even go through the jeans.”

“Somehow I think she knew that,” the director said, narrowing his eyes at me.  “So the question is, why would she do something so foolish in front of everyone?”

“Because she lost her temper,” West sighed, folding his arms over his chest.  His eyes almost border lined sympathy.  Then they quickly reverted to the go-to disapproval.  “And she wanted to prove a point.”

I finally found my voice again and whispered, “I’m so sorry West.  I don’t know what came over me.  I’ll go pack my stuff and get out of here…”

“Now hold on,” the director said, holding up a hand and giving me a concerned look.

“No, no, no,” West said at the same time, shaking his head.  “You’re not being kicked off the ranch.”

I know I looked confused as I peered up at them.  Then what was this?  Why was I in the director’s office getting yelled at?  Was this the…punishment?

“I…I’m not?” I asked, looking back and forth between the two men.

“What do you suggest I do then?” the director asked, raising an eyebrow as he watched me shift nervously from foot to foot.  Jesus, what would he do?  My mind created a few frightening scenarios but West interrupted all of that.

“I’ll take care of it, Dusty,” he nodded, walking towards me.

“Thanks,” he sighed, letting his shoulders relax as West grabbed my elbow and pulled me behind him.

“Again, I’m so sorry!” I called, watching the director nod and shake his head and…was he laughing?  I definitely saw a smile cross his face.  What did he have to be so happy about?  I was about to be executed by the look on West’s face.  I whispered, “I’m sorry, West.  I don’t know why I did that…”

We walked along the road towards the cabins, my arm beginning to lose feeling as he squeezed it and tugged me behind him.  I heard him sigh and when I looked up at him his face had softened a little.

“Why are you so sweet?” he asked, releasing my arm and pushing a hand on my back instead.  The look on his face told me that it was a rhetorical question and I’d better keep quiet.

I straightened a little as we walked over a small hill and the cabins came into sight.  We were going back to my cabin?  Was he going to make me pack and go home?  I kind of figured as much.

“So…I really am going home, right?” I whispered, looking up at him.

He paused by the steps to my cabin and shook his head, a slight smile playing on his lips.

“Blake…that was really stupid.”

“I know.”

“And I should send you home.”

“I understand,” I nodded, looking down at my hands as I squeezed them together.

He stepped closer and placed a finger under my chin, forcing me to look up at him.  He looked a little conflicted.  I was beginning to recognize this look on his face.

“You’re not going home.  We’re going to go inside and have a long conversation.”

“Oh,” I said, frowning in confusion. “Yeah, okay.”