The Whitney I Knew (24 page)

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Authors: BeBe Winans,Timothy Willard

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By now, maybe you've moved on. Maybe you've filed Whitney away in your mind. In that same file are names like Michael Jackson, Luther Vandross, Dick Clark, Levon Helm, Kurt Cobain, or Donna Summer.

For so long, pop culture icons live on the “screens” of our lives,
but never within the fabric of everyday life. Sure, you may have Whitney's songs on your iPod, shuffled in a playlist. But that's where it ends. And that's true for most people.

Another talented person will come along and make us forget all about Whitney. Until they try to sing her songs, that is. When that happens, we'll quickly say, “Well, she's good, but she's no Whitney.” That is a type of honor we pay to the truly talented among us. But I think Whitney would tell us that the public needs to ease up. If she was still with us, she'd say, “It's fine to love my voice, but help me find room to be
me
.”

Maybe that's not part of the game. I'm not naïve enough to think that a book will change the way the industry does business, though it might change a few minds. My words might linger on the consciences of some thoughtful individuals who realize that our humanity is our greatest gift. If that happens, then I think Whitney would smile. I think she would say, “Thank you, Lord!” and throw her head back like she was leading a gospel choir in church.

So much of Whitney resides in her music. In the early days you could see the anointing she had in the sparkle of her eyes. The glimmer appeared to leave when her struggles took over. But through the valleys of life, Whitney remained loyal and loving—the words to Dolly Parton's song were just as much Whitney's words to everyone she loved: family and fans. But they are also my words to her.

I will always love you, Whitney
.

I know that the weight of fame has fallen off your shoulders, replaced by the peace that passes understanding. I know that heaven's joy is the joy of being in God's presence. But the kid in me—the hopeful idealist in me—sees you lying on one of heaven's couches and rising with the sunshine, your hair all crazy, and then filling the
halls of heaven with song.
Your
song. Not a song you've sung before, but a new song, with words that drip with freedom and peace, words that sizzle with a holy fire—a church song that moves you even closer to the Light of heaven.

That's how I love you, Whitney. I love you in the hope of glory, in the hope that you've returned to the innocence and joy you so desperately sought in this life.

I think God loves it when we remember and love those who pass away, for it reminds us of the goodness that outweighs all the sadness that too often overwhelms us in this life. I think, just as God listens to Whitney's new song, we ought to not only remember Whitney's songs on earth, but learn from them. Learn from the woman behind the songs—the woman who changed us with her voice.

I was talking to a friend of mine about how fame affected Whitney. He told me to read this quote by C. S. Lewis. You'll pardon its length, but I thought it a fitting passage for such a time as this.

There are no ordinary people. You have never talked to a mere mortal. . . . It is immortals whom we joke with, work with, marry, snub, and exploit—immortal horrors or everlasting splendours. This does not mean that we are to be perpetually solemn. We must play. But our merriment must be of the kind (and it is, in fact, the merriest kind) which exists between people who have, from the outset, taken each other seriously—no flippancy, no superiority, no presumption.

And our charity must be a real and costly love, with deep feeling for the sins in spite of which we love the sinner—no mere tolerance or indulgence which parodies love as flippancy parodies merriment. Next to the Blessed Sacrament itself, your neighbor is the holiest object presented to your senses.

“There are no ordinary people.” I love this. The concept is refreshing in light of our popular mind-set that says there are divisions among us—the wealthy, the poor, the powerful, the powerless, the black, the white. If we can find the humility to step back and see one another not as the culture paints us but as God created us, I think we would treat one another differently. This perspective is the
human
perspective.

At the end of the day, Whitney was a human being—body and soul—just as we are. This commonality should prompt us to take one another seriously, because we'll each face death. And then what? Will it matter if we were rich or famous? Will it matter what we struggled with in this life or what we had victory over? No. It will only matter that we lived and that we loved and that we followed God.

I loved Kevin Costner's comment at the funeral about the debates that will rage in coming years about the best singer of all time and about Whitney's private life and the things she became known for in the tabloids. He cautioned that we remember Bobbi Kristina and Cissy. For they daily will deal with Whitney's death in a way no one else will. In order to heed Kevin's advice, we must view Whitney as our sister—a fellow human who deserves our respect and honor, without flippancy or superiority.

Our love for one another must be costly. What does that mean? I think it means that when the opportunity to judge comes, we approach people with the same amount of love we'd hope they would give us—the kind of love alluded to in “Jesus Loves Me,” the kind the Bible speaks of.

What does the Bible tell us about Jesus' love for us? It tells us that the ultimate expression of love is sacrificing yourself for your brother or sister. Jesus said, “Love one another the way I loved you. This is the very best way to love. Put your life on the line for your friends.” We can put our life on the line for our friends every day by acting in love.

If we begin treating one another with love, then our actions will spill over into the rest of our culture. The way we interact with one another will be more civil and just. It will be more forgiving. Do we name failure for what it is? Sure. But we don't live in that failure. We help one another toward the goal of restoration.

There is no law against this. There is no law against love. I think this is what Lewis was getting at. Treating one another like the precious immortals we are will bring abundance to life.

I saw the abundant life pour out of Whitney, my forever sister and blessed friend. Now, each time I watch her perform on video, I can see her soul bubbling up into each lyric and ascending into the clouds with each high note. And even though I also saw the light of her abundant life dim at times over our twenty-eight-year friendship, I remember most of all the shimmer and glory that she brought into my life. The shimmer of God's glory that came wrapped up in the person she was. That's the Whitney I knew.

Acknowledgments

Books are interesting animals. They demand much from you but also give plenty back. Behind the words on the pages of this book, there are people who have also given plenty—people I treasure and wish to thank.

I would first like to thank Ron Smith for pushing me and making this book happen. May our friendship continue to be wonderful and strong.

To Jan Miller Rich, for taking good care of me: “Love ya guts!”

To Byron Williamson and Rob Birkhead and the entire team at Worthy Publishing, for leading the way and allowing this book to be one of integrity—one that shows a different side of someone I loved very much.

To Howard Bragman: you're the best, and I'm not speaking of your gift—I'm talking about your heart. Thank you.

To the Houston family: Cissy (Mom), words can't say how much I love you and pray for you; Pat and Gary—my sister and brother—and Donna, Michael, and everyone else in between, I love you all; Bobbi Kristina, you are covered with prayers from all around the world and from the Winans family. We're always there.

And last but not least, “Mr. Man” Tim Willard: this could not have happened without you. I'm honored to share this moment with you and to tell the world that I'm smarter because of you!

 

BeBe Winans
met Whitney Houston twenty-eight years ago, and they quickly developed a family bond. Winans is a groundbreaking inspirational, R&B, and gospel vocalist, writer, and producer whose albums have reached platinum status and who has recorded with such entertainers as Stevie Wonder, Gladys Knight, and many more. He has won six Grammy® Awards, three NAACP Awards, ten Dove Awards, six Stellar Awards, and was awarded a Star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame with sister CeCe Winans. He also launched a syndicated radio show and enjoys acting in both film and theater. Winans' new album honoring our nation's heritage,
America America
, was released by Razor & Tie in June 2012.

 

 

 

Timothy Willard
is a popular writer on matters of faith and culture. He is coauthor of
Veneer: Living Deeply in a Surface Society
and has collaborated on ten other books. Tim lives outside of Atlanta, Georgia, with his wife and three children. He would love to connect with you on Twitter (@timothywillard) or at
www.timothywillard.com
.

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