The Wicked (6 page)

Kyden spun me around, grinning before he placed his hand on my lower back and sandwiched our bodies together. “Is this what you were after?” he allured.

“Mmm…” I pretended to think a moment. “This is a start.”

He grinned devilishly as we moved with the music. His body grinding against mine in pure sexual intent. His hands everywhere as were mine.

Supes are sexual creatures and not a single one here wasn’t using this act as foreplay. But what I had noticed now, before I was too busy to pay attention to anything else but Kyden, was how different werewolves were than vampires with respect to their love lives. They weren’t so random; you could tell that the couples who were dancing together were in fact couples or were courting each other.

Kyden gripped my hips with his hands then brought me even closer toward him and lowered his mouth to mine. He raised his hands to my face and stopped dancing. Well, with his body did anyway. His tongue swirled with mine in a dance all its own. He pressed himself tight against me. His erection sat against my stomach and it took every ounce of control I had not to reach out and touch him.

“Maybe I could get a go of you later, Nexi.” Trefan laughed beside us.

Kyden chuckled against my lips and backed away, then we both looked toward him.

Trefan acted like a love-crazed teenager. He was big into the dating scene and he liked his flings young. The wolf dancing in his arms was no exception—she didn’t even look old enough to be in the club. But considering the trouble she’d be in if she lied, she had to be twenty-one.

“If you behave tonight,” I teased. “Maybe you might.”

Trefan laughed harder, glancing back to his date. “Never mind, I have it good right here.”

The wolf in his arms smiled brightly with adoring eyes.

Kyden grasped my chin forcing my gaze back to his. “I am your focus. Me and nothing else,” he said in his possessive tone.

“As I am yours.” I possessed right back.

He began dancing slowly—crushing his body against mine. I wiggled against him, encouraging him that what he was doing was right up my alley.

As he continued to stare down at me, he ran his hands along my body, keeping me locked in his strong arms. There was something far more intense than the heat burning between us. Something that meant more than my clenching thighs.

It was the way he looked at me now. The possession, the admiration, the satisfaction—it all sent little flutters of love into my heart that brightened everything about this dark club. I reached up, locked my hands behind his neck and said, “I love you.”

He smiled and there was nothing tense about it. It was warm and filled with every ounce of emotion that I had simmering through me. “Right back atcha.”

On my way out the door to meet Zia for training the next night, Willow had demanded to be let out of what she called
our sorry excuse for a home.
Obviously, my little Princess thought she deserved something more luxurious.

When we arrived at the Witches Meadow, an orange and black cat was resting near a birch tree. “Oh, look you have a kitty friend,” I said to Willow.

“That’s Charm,
” Willow said. “
He belongs to that one there. Charm, that’s an even better name than…”

I interrupted her. “Would you just let it go, geesh.”

Charm was bigger than Willow. I could only guess it was because he was male. A thought stumbled its way into my mind and my mouth opened before I had time to really process it. “Do I have to get you…er…fixed?”

Willow glared at me, her little black face squishing into nothing.
“Just because you and that thing of yours go at it like jack rabbits does not mean everyone does.”
She sniffed deeply and trotted over to rest beside Charm. They appeared to have a short conversation then got down to some serious paw cleaning.

“I didn’t know you had a cat,” I said to Zia when I approached her.

“You aren’t the only one who got trapped by going to Briar’s,” she replied.

We both laughed in complete understanding. Testy little kitties.

Then suddenly, my words to Willow replayed in my mind and my mouth immediately clamped shut as the humor washed away to sheer panic.
Jack rabbits—fixed
. How could I be so stupid? Kyden and I had never used protection—not once. I hadn’t even thought of it. I instinctively grabbed my stomach. Fear making words impossible.

Zia laughed harder this time, then said, “You have nothing to worry about. You cannot get pregnant.”

“I can’t?” I sighed and released my hands.

“No. You can’t. Kyden is protected with magic. Until he chooses to release that magic you will be safe.”

“Thank god for that,” I sighed again. Then, I remembered how ticked off Zia had been at me. “Listen, I’m really sorry about what happened last night. I know you expect more of me. I’m really trying.”

She rested her hand on my shoulder, her expression consoling. “I know that. It is only out of concern that I am hard on you. I fear that if you don’t get a handle on yourself, you are going to put those you love at serious risk.”

“Okay, well, I’m ready and willing. Show me what to do. I’m the first one who says my control is…well…lacking.”

Zia pulled me down to sit under my willow. “You cannot let your emotions take over. You need to be stronger than this and I know you are capable of it. I’ve seen your control when you were fighting Talon.” She flicked her strawberry blonde locks behind her shoulder. “Your anger is what makes your power strong and we need to change that. Our magic is
White Magic
. There shouldn’t be an ounce of anger within you while you are summoning your powers. So, you need to learn to bring the magic forward without it.”

“You make it sound so simple.”

“It is simple. Your powers lie within you. This is not something you need to make happen or force to happen. It just is. You need to embrace who you are. You are not human. You need to stop thinking in those terms. This is why you are failing. You withhold it and when your emotions are running high you cannot control it.”

“It’s just hard to embrace something I don’t really understand.”

“What’s to understand? You are what you are. The Guardian power in you seems to help your focus. It has given you extra strength, and this is something witches would be proud of, but you seem to deny it.”

“I…” What to say here? I understood what she meant. The idea of my having magic was all very unsettling. It just seemed like a big dream—one that I was going to wake up from.

She took my hands in hers, squeezed them tight. “This is hard. I understand that. We all do. In the past months, you have been through more than one can bear. I get that. But it is time for you to move on. Embrace this new life you have. Embrace all that has been given to you. Your talent is something I’m sure we’ve never seen. Not even in me, I am sure of that. This is a beautiful thing and should not be wasted.”

“I feel as if I am failing you.” I pouted.

“You are failing only yourself. When you let your magic be released at times you cannot control it is a failure all your own.”

From there, I suffered one of the greatest pity parties of all time. Yes, I had been through a lot—there was no denying that. Maybe that was the problem. Accepting one part meant I had to accept it all, everything that had happened, and learn to let go—leave the past behind me. I wasn’t entirely sure I was ready to do that.

Zia sat quiet, reading my thoughts. When I eased a little, she continued. “There is no secret cure for this. Once you accept your magic, love who you are. Your control will be there,” she said.

“So, that’s it? Once I accept who I am, will this all be easier? No more Fire extraordinaire?”

She laughed softly. “I doubt that. The power you hold within you is great. You have only begun to develop and you are exceeding levels of magic I have never seen.”

“And you think that is because of my having the Guardian power as well?”

“I believe it may have something to do with it, yes. We don’t know what you are capable of until you show us and I fear you will never reach your full potential unless you begin to believe in it.”

I took a deep focusing breath, finally concluding that maybe I was just going about this the wrong way. If I got through this part, accepting my inner witch, maybe the past would just settle along with it. “Okay, I can do this. I am strong. I beat Lazarus. I have the ability,” I told myself sternly.

“That’s it! Feel your magic! This isn’t something that comes and goes. It is always there—always with you. It connects you to all that is around you. The trees. The wind. The water that lies in the creek. These are all the things that give beauty to what we are. They give us our powers, allow us to use them, and gift us with their strength.”

“Right, it loves me. I love it. I can do this. It’s within me. Always. Forever.”

“Yes. Do you feel it growing? Feel the magic filling you?”

I closed my eyes and with it came the tingling sensation that was becoming more familiar with my powers. “I do. It feels warm, comforting and happy.” I gave in further, centered myself around this wonderful feeling. In response, it grew deeper as warmth spread around me. “It’s growing.”

“Of course it is because you are accepting it. Allowing it to come forth and be a part of who you are.”

I snapped my eyes open. “So, what you’re telling me is that my problem all along has been because I didn’t want to accept it. I didn’t want to be a witch?”

“Not exactly. It’s your human instincts hindering you. All of this…” She waved her hand out. “All this magic, everything that the Otherworld is about, humans would never accept it. Their minds couldn’t hold such truth, and you have even seen within yourself—seen how much things shock you.”

“I think saying I was shocked might be an understatement.” More like completely out of my mind and searching out straightjackets.

“I suppose I am saying it lightly, this is true. It’s just I want you to see that there is no trick here. There is nothing to be trained. When we ask you to control your magic, your skill is outstanding. You just need to find a way to keep yourself open to it so you can keep control of it.”

I glanced at Willow. She’d sprawled out on the grass and into a deep sleep.
Lazy butt
.

Zia’s voice drew me back. “Let’s try something.” She nodded toward a birch tree. “Burn that one.”

I closed my eyes and focused on the tree. With my magic already connected within me, time was saved here. I imagined the flames erupting around the tree as it lit up in a blaze of fire. When I heard the crackling of flames, I snapped, “That seems to be getting easier,” I said to Zia.

“It does,” Zia replied. “Now close your eyes again. What do you need to visualize to extinguish the flames? What will allow you to withdraw the magic?”

I closed my eyes as she asked and concentrated for a moment, imagined the air was sucked out of the flames—seemed like the easiest way to put out a fire without water of course. I dug down deep and focused on my breath pulling the air out.

Moments later, Zia said, “Well done.” My eyes fluttered open to the poor sad smoldering birch tree. “Gosh, can you go and heal it?” I asked Zia. My favorite thing in the world was a willow tree, killing them to educate myself just felt entirely wrong.

Zia got a gleam in her eye that said she was up to something. “Why don’t you have a go of it?”

“You want me to heal it?” I asked hesitantly.

She answered with a firm nod.

The feeling that this wasn’t going to be easy gripped me in abundance. When I had healed Kyden a month earlier, it was due to my strong emotions for him. Doing this without that motivation was going to be hard—plain and simple.

“The same principle works here. Just visualize what I want, and bingo bango, right?” I said.

“Whatever works for you, sweetie.” Zia smiled.

I jumped to my feet and approached the tree with the same hesitation in my steps as heard in my tone. As I drew closer, it was barely standing—all black and crispy. Instantly, I felt a whole brick load of remorse. Christ, I had burned it to a crisp.

When I reached it, I laid my hand on the trunk, closed my eyes and thought of how much I hurt it. How burnt it was, how desperate I was to put it out of its misery.

I suspected that the Spirit Element was the warm happy feeling. Common sense told me that. I felt it not only in the connection with Zia but it always seemed the strongest one within myself, the most intense and obvious. Drawing on that part of myself, I centered myself around the cozy, wonderful feeling and let my body drift away to that strength.

Suddenly, a blast of power whipped through me. It tickled slightly, forcing a little laugh to escape me. It ran down the length of my arm quickly and when it ceased, I opened my eyes to a pile of burned dust. My laughter stopped immediately. “Shit,” I exclaimed. “I overcooked it.” I glanced back at Zia. “What’d I do wrong?”

“You need to get your focus right is all,” she replied as I came back to join her. “It isn’t about just ending the trees pain, which is what I assume you were focusing on since you destroyed it. It’s more about making it right, making it back to its original condition, and making it whole again. Do you see the difference?”

“I think so because I want to end its pain, I destroyed it. I wasn’t thinking about making it what it was before.”

She nodded approvingly. “Exactly. You cannot erase wounds necessarily—only return it back to its original shape. Get it?”

“Yeah, but I don’t think I’ll be trying that anytime soon. My Fire causes enough damage as it is.”

“Are you done here or what?”
Willow’s voice came across as clearly annoyed in my mind. “
I’m starving if you haven’t noticed. My stomach has been growling over here for…I don’t even know how long.”

“So sorry, Princess Willow, please forgive me.” I met Zia’s gaze. “Willow would like to know if we’re done.”

Before she could answer, Zia’s cat scampered over. He looked at Zia, said a few words, which I couldn’t hear. Then, Zia looked more annoyed than I felt. “You can keep your comments to yourself, you petulant beast.”

Then, her gaze met mine and gave me a knowing look. What the hell had we gotten ourselves into with these damn cats?

“Yes,” Zia finally answered. “We can be done tonight. I have scheduled another meeting for you with a powerful Air Witch tomorrow night. Is that alright with you?”

“It is,” I replied. “But can I please have an assignment? I’m going stark raving mad. I need to get back out there.”

“I am sure that will be fine. I will let Talon know of your request.”

A sudden thought occurred to me. “Will I be meeting with an Earth and Water Witch too?”

Zia shook her head. “These are not your defensive elements. As Spirit Witches we are gifted with all the elements, this is true. But what you can do with Earth and Water will be limited.”

“So, how the earth shook with Lazarus? Is that the extent of my ability?”

“I am assuming so. I can use Earth and Water defensively as you know. Air and Fire I can only manipulate. Meaning, if there was already a fire burning I could make it grow and with Air I can pretty much do diddlysquat. I believe you are able to manipulate Earth to coincide with your other elements, but I do not believe you have any further ability than that. As with Water you will have to test yourself to see what you are capable of.”