The Willow (19 page)

Kyden reached out and pulled me to him. “No. Not something wrong. It is just…” He hesitated.

“Just what?”

Briggs laughed. Again voicing how much he enjoyed my impatience.

Zia said, “Using fire defensively is an unusual gift to obtain from the elements. Those who do have it train very hard to control it. You did not seem to have a problem using yours and you didn’t need to touch him to use it.” She examined me curiously. “Tell me, what were you thinking of when you did that?”

I shrugged and nuzzled into Kyden’s chest—quickly feeling very tired. Zia’s magic had begun to wear off. “I was thinking of Tyrianna.” I wavered slightly. Kyden scooped me off my feet, coddled me tightly in his strong arms. “I’m sure this is all very interesting, but I have been beaten, bruised, bit, and many other unpleasant things. I’m tired. Actually, scratch that. I’m completely and utterly spent. Can we please go home?”

Before any of them could respond, Kyden was already heading for the door. He grumbled something incoherent as he walked away. I raised my head from his chest to meet his very stern expression. “Now that this is over, you will answer my question.” He hesitated for a moment, and when I didn’t respond, he repeated the question. “Tell me one goddamned good reason you had for coming here alone?”

I smiled sweetly. “The answer to that is really quite simple.” I met his gaze intently. “I came because I love you.”

He froze. Pure warmth softened everything about him. Then, that handsome face that captured every part of my heart faded away to utter darkness.

I awoke to a bright, sunny day. I pushed myself up, staring at my willow. Only I wasn’t at my willow exactly. “Huh?” I stood quickly, turned in quick circles as I tried to figure out what the hell was going on. This was my willow. That I was sure of. However, I wasn’t in Carson City. I was in the Witches Meadow.

“I brought it home,” Zia’s voice broke through my moment of hysteria.

I jerked my head toward her. She had been sitting beside me. “Huh?”

“Your willow. I brought it home for you.”

“You brought it home?” I repeated. “Does that mean it didn’t belong in Carson City?”

“That’s right. It belonged here. This was your mother’s favorite tree. When you were sent away I wanted to send a piece of her with you.”

“My connection to this tree is my mother?”

She nodded softly.

A tear ran down my cheek.

“Was I right to have brought it home?” she asked, quietly.

I wiped the tear away. “Yes. I have come home. It’s only right that it comes home too.” Reaching out I ran my hands along the leaves. My mother had loved this tree just as much as I did—that was where our connection laid. Knowing that sent little flutters of warmth trickling deep into my soul.

Once that thought settled my mind swirled. Confusion hit every part of me, unable to grasp anything.

“Your senses will come back to you,” Zia said as if I asked her a question. “We will sit here until your thoughts are more centered.”

I eyed her curiously. “Can you read my mind?” It was about time she answered this question.

“You have a very vivid mind.” Then, she hesitated, seeming to choose her words carefully. “You tend to send me messages telepathically.”

“Are you serious?” I chortled.

She laughed a little, nodded.

The shock of that must have pulled my mind back from wherever it had gone. My memory rebounded, sending my world to collapse around me. My legs buckled beneath me. Falling to the ground, I gave in—allowed myself this moment to simply feel.

The floodgates opened and sobs came from me that shrieked of pain and loss. Hard and deep. My breath barely caught as the cries that escape my mouth screamed of how unfair life was. Letting go of all my strength, I wallowed for all that had been taken from me, everything I’d been through these last few months.

Zia wrapped her body around mine and cradled my heart with her warmth. Her magic never touched me. She gave me this moment of healing. Her hold never loosened and she continually whispered soft words to me, but I couldn’t understand them. My agony just didn’t care to hear it.

They were gone—my entire family gone. Never would I see them again. Never hear their laughter, see their smiles, or feel their arms wrap around me in love.

Their faces ran through my mind. The need to be touched by them quivered against my skin, leaving me empty enough to just wither away from existence. I was alone.

Zia’s arms shook me, snapped me away from my personal horror. “You are not alone. You will never be alone. We all love you. Haven was right. Your place is here with us now.”

I lifted away from her, wiped the wetness beneath my nose. “It’s just…”

She finished for me. “Not the same without them.”

My eyes welled up further. My lips pinched together as I tried to hold in the screams that fought through my body.

“Do not hold it in.” She shook me again. “Let it out. You are allowed to shout with anger for what has been done to you.”

And I did just that. Shrieked high and piercing. “Why? Why did this have to happen? Why did Lazarus have to exist? Why did they all have to leave me?”

She took my hands, squeezed them tight. “Fate is never understood—it just is. They are gone because it was their time to go. That is just what we are left with. The loss of them is great.” She sighed deeply. “And always will be.”

“I…” I hesitated and searched for the right words. “How do I go on without them?”

“I know your life feels lost to you now, but you have a brilliant path ahead of you. The choice is up to you with how you choose to live it. Do you understand?”

I nodded and rested my head against her arm. I did understand. They wouldn’t want me to live in a state of grief, but right now, all that filled me was the gut-wrenching pain of their departure. She held me with a need to alleviate my pain and my tears eventually did fade away. I stayed in her arms because it felt good. Feeling safe and loved was something I wasn’t about to let go of.

But as the grief settled her words became crystal-clear. I wasn’t alone. There were others who were special to me—others who meant just as much. Zia, of course, was one of them, but there were also two other people who meant more to me than my own life. “Kyden,” I gasped and leaned back. “Where is he?”

“He was here with you for a while, but I finally forced him to leave. He needed rest.”

“Good. Is Haven resting too?”

“She is. I helped her sleep.”

Meaning she used her magic to knock her out. Relief washed through me. Everyone was safe tucked away in their beds. Relieved a little bit that they weren’t here to witness my breakdown. Haven probably couldn’t have handled it. As for Kyden—just leave it that the ugly cry is far from attractive.

With a deep breath I released my hold on Zia. “How did you find us?”

“Your magic called to me,” she answered, keeping a tight grip on my hands. “I knew you had lost control. It was easy to pinpoint your location since your magic was so strong.”

Can’t say I wasn’t glad for that. Who knew what would have taken place if Zia hadn’t been there to drain the magic. “Why was it so painful?”

“Like I said before, I didn’t know what was going to trigger your magic. Obviously your strong reaction to Lazarus triggered it, and because you were so angry, you couldn’t control it. As you know, magic is powerful and if unmanaged, it does hurt tremendously. The elements have blessed you well. With your ability to use Fire and Air defensively we are very lucky you didn’t cause more damage.”

Lucky is right. I’m just happy I didn’t kill Kyden in the process. “So what happens now? Will I start my training with the witches?”

She nodded. “It is imperative that you begin training soon. Especially, knowing the level of magic you hold. You’re kind of like a ticking time bomb waiting to explode. But for now, I think it is best if you take some time off to grieve.”

“Why?”

“Our magic is White Magic, which in simple terms means love magic. Right now, you’re filled with despair, sweetie. It will only lead to disaster.”

“Does that mean I can’t be a Guardian anymore?” Fear went straight through me. My Guardian role had never felt so much a part of who I was.

“You need a break that is most important. You can always return to your Guardian duties as long as you can control your magic. We will test your restraint when you are ready.”

I rested back in her arms and accepted her strength as my mind lingered back to my family. With each passing moment, my pain eased to acceptance.

They were gone. Nothing was ever going to bring them back. It didn’t matter how hard I wished for a different end for them. This couldn’t be undone. It was what it was and wishing for something different was pointless.

The only consolation I had was in knowing Drake’s life wasn’t lost for nothing. He helped destroy the reason my mother’s life ended. A reason he would’ve died for gladly.

I’d learned long ago life wasn’t fair. Didn’t always give you everything you wanted, or work out how you planned. God, did I know that well. But how could I complain. Only twenty-four years old and been surrounded with more love than one heart could almost hold.

No matter how short my time with them was, I was lucky to have had it in the first place. This is what I was going to try to remember—not the loss or the pain of losing them.

It was every happy moment they ever gave me. All the reasons they made me smile, and I wouldn’t shame their memory by mourning with things I couldn’t change. I’d remember them like they deserved.

“That’s exactly right,” Zia said. “This would lift their hearts with joy to know this is what you’re taking with you.”

I backed away from her arms. “Thank you for being here with me.”

She smiled and brushed my hair away from my face. “I wouldn’t have been anywhere else, sweetie.”

Now that I understood the connection we shared, what I wanted wasn’t such a difficult thing to do. I cleared my thoughts and thought of one thing only.

“Blessed be, Nexi,” she responded, hearing my message loud and clear. After a kiss on the cheek, she left.

Alone, I lay back beneath my willow and ran my hands within its leaves—reliving these past months. I was different. Forever changed by the past unfortunate events. No matter what had happened, all the despair that swept over my life, I was still intact—even a little better, a whole lot wiser and definitely a hell of a lot stronger.

Continuing to twirl my hands within the leaves, a soft noise came above me. I raised my hand across my brows to cover the sun and looked up. Perfection stood before me. The sun shone down on Kyden’s body and sparkled off his skin. I sighed deeply. “God, you’re sexy.”

He grinned sweetly and reached down to help me to my feet. He cupped my face in his strong hands. His eyes were soft and focused. “I am lost in love with you too.” Then, he brought his mouth to mine, ran his hands along my body as he slowly removed my gear.

A moments worry hit about being naked here, but it settled immediately. Not only was it daytime, but everyone would be fast asleep, and besides, Zia was kind enough to place my tree far away from watchful eyes.

Kyden released my mouth and stepped out of his gear quickly. His body was strong—glorious. My mind was lost in him as was the rest of me. His body was friggin’ spectacular!

Most of it I’d seen already, but what I hadn’t was beneath those shorts. And I couldn’t breathe as I took in all of him in. He was definitely all male—every last little bit of him. Sure, I felt it. But seeing and feeling is something totally different.

As I grazed over every line of his spectacular physique, he lowered his hand. With slow sensual movements, he stroked himself. Calling me to him—teasing me with his touch.

Sinking to my knees in front of him, I held him in my hands. “Every part of you is perfect.” Then, I devoured him with my mouth.

His breath hissed through his teeth as he watched me. “Mmm…Álainn. You do that well.”

With each play of my mouth and stroke of my hand, his breath deepened. He wrapped his fingers tightly in my hair to guide me—in a gentle request that I take him deeper and faster until I was lost in the pleasure I was giving him.

His body was tense. His muscles quivered, and with a thunderous gasp, he stepped back. He leaned down, wrapped his hands around my face and took my mouth furiously—tasting every part of mine while we worked our tongues in a whirl of passion.

Without missing a beat, he lifted me to him and slid his hands down my body, sending warm currents of erotic needs simmering through my blood.

He grasped my breasts and my nipples tightened with desire—immediately awakening to his answering thumbs. Just as they hardened with a desperate plea, he tore from my mouth to bask a nipple in the all too gloriousness that was his mouth. My only response was to grasp his shoulders in a frantic attempt to remain upright. His licked his way back up, his ravenousness gaze met mine, and blasted me with a wild hunger. Grabbing his hand, I demanded that it go lower. He grinned devilishly and lightly ran his fingers along my inner thigh until he reached the awaiting excitement. Instantly sending me to wobble as the pleasure nearly shattered me.

When his touch lingered inwards, my breath became ragged and forced my legs to give out. He caught me in his arms and laid me down in front of him to continue his attack—not only with his fingers, but with his mouth too.

He never let up. Not for a second. Never let me catch my breath as he worked my body to mere madness.

Just as the sensation peaked high enough to send me dancing with the angels, he groaned deeply and withdrew his hand. “What do you think you’re doing? Get back there!” I gasped.

He began to climb toward me. “If I let you finish, it will make this harder for you. It is best this way.” He put his hips between mine, raised himself on his forearms, and slid his hands beneath my head.