The Winter Spirit ARE (9 page)

I rolled my eyes. “We didn’t ‘you know’ anything. We kissed.” I scrunched up my nose. “If you could call it that. He tried to eat my face and then spanked me.”

I thought she’d laugh but she didn’t. “Doesn’t he know you at all? Jesus Christ. I thought you guys were best friends.”

A sadness I couldn’t entirely pinpoint dragged my shoulders down. “So did I. Anyway, it doesn’t matter. I’m sure he’ll be packing up and leaving any minute now. Back to his dearest wife.”

“Did he explain it to you, at least?”

I shrugged and turned back to what I’d been doing when she walked in. Which had been daydreaming about Gabriel going by the state of the scrambled eggs in front of me. “He knocked on my door last night, but I didn’t answer. Didn’t want to talk to him, you know? Besides, Gabriel came by for a chat anyway.”

Elisa sucked in her cheeks, her face went blank, and she slowly said, “Did he, now?” She turned away and started drying the pan I’d used for my own breakfast.

“Yeah, he talked a little bit about what his life had been like back then. And we played chess. It was fun.”

Her eyes zeroed in on me. “Fun, huh?”

My cheeks began to heat but I shrugged. “Sure. It’s interesting isn’t it? How often can you get a firsthand account of a man who was born in the 1800s? I mean, he’s a ghost. A friendly one. Of course I want to talk to him.”

“Mmhmm, he’s friendly all right,” she mumbled.

“What does that mean?” I asked, expecting to see that teasing glint in her eyes but she was unusually solemn when she put the dish towel down and looked at me.

“It means that he’s still a ghost, Nate. He’s not…really here. He’s not someone you can fall for.”

I scoffed. “I’m not falling for him,” I told her, beating a new set of eggs. On the inside I heard screeching tires of thoughts and ideas and possibilities coming to a sudden, full stop.

Was I falling for him?

“Um. Hi.”

Elisa and I spun on our heels. Owen was standing in the doorway, looking surprisingly unkempt. His hair was a mess and his face looked so pallid, I suddenly remembered the traces of makeup I’d discovered the night before.

Neither of us said anything.

“I was wondering,” Owen eventually went on in the awkward silence, “if I could have a word with you, Nate?”

He looked so awkward I felt sorry for him and began to put my towel away, but Elisa stopped me with a hand on my arm.

“The other guests will be coming down for their breakfasts soon,” she said.

I knew she was offering me an out if I needed one, so I smiled at her. “Why don’t you take care of that today and I’ll do the rooms.”

She nodded, gave Owen the stink eye, and disappeared into the pantry to get the batter for pancakes.

“Let’s go to the lounge,” I said. As I expected, there was no trace of candles or romantic atmosphere left in the bright morning light. The curtains were open as wide as they could go. The fire was out so it was even a little chilly in there. I hid my grin but sent a mental thumbs up to Gabriel. The things a ghost could be good for…

I closed the door and turned to face Owen. He looked small in the large room, nothing at all like the predator who’d cornered me last night.

“I want to apologize,” he began, cutting me a quick glance as if he expected me to interrupt. I remained quiet. “We were getting a divorce, but we’re not divorced yet. I wanted to reconcile before I came here but she said no. She called yesterday to say she changed her mind and wants to talk. I’m sorry if…if I gave you the wrong impression.”

I raised my eyebrow at him.

“Okay, bad word choice.” He laughed weakly, ran his fingers through his hair and then deflated completely. “But it wasn’t all a lie,” he whispered. “The job change, the move here, it might still happen if we can’t work it out. And I did want to see you. You always made me feel so…admired, as a kid. I mean I knew what you felt back then. And I was hoping—”

“That you could come here to bask in my hero worship until you felt better about yourself and then move on?”

“No!” Owen took a step closer but I crossed my arms and he stayed where he was. “I really thought maybe you and I could…”

“Until your wife wanted you back, at least.”

He had the grace to turn red. “I’m sorry. But she’s my wife. I still love her. You understand, don’t you?”

I let my arms drop to the side. “You didn’t hurt me, Owen. You wouldn’t have been able to if you’d tried. So no harm done. Not to me, at least. Why don’t you go pack your things and get going? It shouldn’t snow again until tomorrow and the roads will be clear.”

He stared at me and his eyes were shimmering a little. I felt a pang of sadness too, but not for seeing him go. For learning the friendship I had cherished as a child hadn’t been what I thought it was.

“Bye, Owen,” I said. When he reached out to hug me, I opened the door and stepped aside. His eyes lingered on me for a second when he passed me, but he said nothing, and disappeared up the stairs.

I took a deep breath, and then aimed for the kitchen. Mrs. Anderson and Mr. Houzer were eating breakfast, making cow eyes as they spoon-fed each other fluffy scrambled eggs.

And just like that I was utterly and completely done.

“Does your wife know you’re here, Mr. Houzer?” I asked. “What would she say if she knew?”

His head jerked up and he gaped at me. He glanced at Mrs. Anderson, then back at me, said, “Uh,” and nothing else.

In a cloud of flour Elisa crossed the kitchen, loudly said, “Excuse me, Nate, I need you in the pantry. It’s an emergency!”

“It can—” I began, but her nails dug into my arm and she dragged me away.

“What the hell, Elisa, ow!”

“I’m sorry,” she hissed, flicking the pantry light on. “But I had to do something before you made a total ass out of yourself!”

“Ass? This is my B&B and I am done catering to cheaters and scum. What they’re doing is disgusting.”

She dusted her hands off and flour drifted onto my slacks. “Keep your voice down. They’re married,” she said, slapping my chest lightly.

“Yes, I’m very aware. I told you from the beginning—”

“No, you dumb butt, they’re married to each other.”

My mouth opened. Then closed. “Wha—?”

Elisa rolled her eyes. “I overheard them this morning that soon things would go back to normal, and that this was so much fun, and where would they go next year. And at first I was as outraged as you, because I thought, God, they’ve been cheating for years. Then I listened closer. They’re not cheating, Nate. They’re married to
each other
and they do little trips like this every year to keep their marriage spiced up. They pretend they don’t know each other, book two rooms in a hotel under different names, pretend to meet for the first time, and
bam
, fluttery butterflies all over again.”

“Oh my God.” I steadied myself against the nearest rack. “That’s actually…really sweet.”

“Yes. It is. So I suggest you go in there and apologize for being a complete jerk.”

I hung my head and felt awful. “Okay. Can I just…have a minute?”

She patted my cheek and grinned. “Of course, you precious snowflake. Take your time.”

I let her leave, put my arm on the shelf with maple syrup and jams and leaned my forehead against it.

Damn, I was such an idiot.

First with Owen…but no, I wasn’t going to think about that now. That was over and done with and good riddance, to be honest. But yeah, I’d have to apologize to my other two guests.

I took a deep breath and straightened. “Just do it,” I said to myself. “And then you can get started on the Christmas shopping.”

I turned around and there Gabriel was.

“Hold on a second.” He gave me wry smile, reached out and I saw his hand tremble ever so slightly. He touched my cheekbone, rubbed it gently, and I felt a dusting of flour Elisa must’ve left behind fall away. “That’s better,” he whispered. He stared into my eyes, his lips parted. It felt like someone had driven a hook into my stomach and I was slowly being reeled in.

“Gabriel…”

He exhaled and I swear I felt it. A soft puff of air against my mouth. He looked so solid, so real. I just knew if I leaned closer, took the tiniest step so my feet were between his, then lifted my chin… It was there in his eyes, the same want I felt, the attraction that pulled me forward. The sadness crept into his gaze again. I shivered, he blinked twice, and then he was gone.

Fuck
.

My stomach dropped so fast I felt nauseous, the adrenaline rush leaving me woozy. I gripped the shelf and let my head hang down.

I had to get my shit together. I’d been perfectly happy before. I’d find my balance again. This was just some weird Christmas loneliness thing. Didn’t they say the holidays were the worst time to be alone?

I shook myself, dusted the flour off my arm and pants and stepped out into the kitchen.

Mr. Houzer and Mrs. Anderson—or whatever their real names were—had left the table.

I went to the front desk, afraid I’d find them departing early, but all I saw there was a check from Owen for his stay. I peeked into the lounge in case he was waiting there, and found my happy couple instead.

“Um, hello,” I said, straightening up. I clasped my hands behind my back. “I owe you an apology,” I began, but they scrambled to their feet, shaking their heads.

“No, no.” Mrs. Anderson said. “It’s us who owes you an apology. We never thought how it might look from the outside and—”

I held up my hand and she stopped talking. “No,” I said. “The mistake is all mine. If people draw conclusions around you, that’s not your fault. I was judgmental and prejudiced and there’s no excuse. If you want to leave early, I won’t hold it against you and your deposit will be reimbur—”

“Not a chance,” Mr. Houzer interrupted. “We want to stay and celebrate Christmas here. The Lake House is an absolute delight to reside in.” He leaned closer and his eyes were wide and filled with excitement. “Do you know, I actually think this place might be—” he lowered his voice “—haunted.”

I sucked in my cheeks so I wouldn’t laugh. “You think so?”

“Oh yes. Such a gorgeous old house, I’d say it is most likely. When we first arrived here, we found ourselves inexplicably locked into the same room a few times, and then there was the lighting that would dim at certain moments…” His apple-round cheeks reddened. “I think you have a ghost, Mr. O’Donnelly.”

“A romantic ghost,” Mrs. Anderson put in.

“Well,” I said, glancing at the mirror, where I could swear I’d seen a flash of blue eyes. “I’d say if there was a ghost, he’d certainly be the romantic type.” I sobered a little. “Mrs. Anderson, I still want to apologize for my appalling behavior.”

“It’s fine, love,” she said, patting my arm. “And call me Annie. This is my husband of thirty years, Saul.”

I shook Saul’s hand. “Nice to meet you both,” I said, and felt humbled. “I hope you enjoy the rest of your stay, and if there is anything you need, you let me know. Elisa and I are about to start preparations for Christmas dinner so if you have any special requests…”

“Well, could I make brief use of your kitchen to put together my famous banoffee pie as Christmas dessert?”

“Of course,” I said. “Just leave your list with Elisa and we’ll get you the ingredients.”

“Thank you, Mr. O’Donnelly,” she said, looking pleased.

“Nathaniel, please. And it’s my pleasure,” I mumbled and stepped aside so they could leave. “I got off way too easy there,” I told the mirror in the room, sure Gabriel was listening, but there was no reply. I tried not to feel sad about that, and left to start my daily chores.

Chapter 6

I didn’t see Gabriel for the rest of the day—which wasn’t unusual in the slightest but for some reason I remained hyperaware of his absence. I was being ridiculous, wasn’t I? So yeah, he was handsome and interesting. He could be my soulmate for all I knew. It didn’t change the fact that he’d been dead for a hundred years.

That made me stop in my tracks. I lifted the iron off the pillowcase I’d been ironing before I burned it, and stared out into nothing. All I could see was that newspaper article.