The World's Worst Mothers (19 page)

‘On the third of October 1974, in the last minute of the eighth round, Muhammad Ali knocked George Foreman out with two quick left-right combinations.'

‘Whooo! That's right!' cried Bruno. ‘That was some fight, I can tell you.'

Sophie threw her eyes up.

‘Anything else you'd like to know?' asked Kruschke.

‘Where is my mother?' asked Emily.

‘A mother is the complement of a screw, otherwise known as a nut. There are four-way nuts, pipe nuts, ring nuts, knurled nuts, wing nuts –'

‘Shut up!' shouted Emily. ‘I'm not talking about some kind of screw. I want to know where my mother is.'

‘Hooded nuts, beetle nuts, flanged nuts …'Sarah went on calmly, until Kruschke silenced her at the press of a button.

‘I'm sure your mother is having her supper with the others,' said Kruschke. ‘Let's go and see.'

He opened another door that led into a dusty passageway. It brought them to the former factory floor, where Vibke Paulsen was just setting the tables. Nicholas was putting out the cutlery.

‘Where on earth have you been, Kruschke?' she asked indignantly. ‘All hell has broken loose here.'

‘What's happened?'

‘Wohlfarth's mother has risen from the dead,' said Vibke Paulsen.

‘Are our mothers not here?' asked Emily.

‘No, of course not. I thought they were with Kruschke.' Vibke Paulsen seemed puzzled.

Ramona Bottle came running into the room. ‘The school is closing down,' she gasped. ‘We're all being let go.'

Sven-Ole came in after her. ‘What a shame! I've lost interest in sheep. This job was pretty good.'

‘Where are our mothers?' screeched Emily.

‘Well, they're with Kruschke …' Sven-Ole turned around. ‘Where is he? He was here just a minute ago.'

‘We have to find him,' cried Emily. ‘He's done something to them.'

‘Kruschke?' Vibke Paulsen shook her head. ‘Not him. He wouldn't hurt a fly.'

‘All he cares about are his dolls,' Sven-Ole added. ‘But don't worry, I'll find your mothers. They can't be far away.'

But Emily was already out the door and on the way to the warehouse. Sophie and Bruno ran after her.

‘Wait up!' called Bruno. ‘What can Kruschke have done? One man against seventeen women? How could that …'

But Emily wasn't listening. She was running along by the shelves. She stumbled on a teddy that had fallen to the floor, grabbed hold of a pile of palettes to steady herself and saw a pair of trouser-legs disappearing behind a shelf.

‘There he is!' she called to Bruno and Sophie.

Kruschke was running towards the curtained-off area where he kept his Annas. With one swift movement, he yanked the plastic curtain aside.

‘Stop!' yelled Emily. ‘Stay right where you are!'

But Kruschke took no notice of her. He disappeared in behind his dolls. The children heard a rattling, followed by a metallic click. And then they came marching out, eleven smiling Aunt Annas, all dolled up in their pale blue cardigans … and every single one of them had a revolver in her hand.

The mothers were really getting to know what fear felt like. The water was rising faster and faster now. They tried to get away from it, but behind them was nothing but a bare concrete wall. They were huddling now with their knees pulled up. Their trouser legs or skirts were wringing wet. Some of the candles had already gone out. It was getting darker; darker and colder.

‘When does the tide reach its highest point?' asked Sophie's mother.

‘Haven't a clue,' said Susie. ‘Yesterday morning I had no trouble going around the end of the fence without getting my feet wet, but then by afternoon I couldn't do that any more.

‘Is it not always twelve hours between low and high tide?' asked Clingy Mum and then gave a yelp as cold water sloshed into her shoes.

‘The question is, how high does the water come in this bunker?' said Earth Mother. ‘Maybe it will only come up as high as our waists.'

Sophie's mother took a candle and held it close to the concrete wall. Then she groaned. ‘The watermark is almost as high as the ceiling. You can see by the dark colouration.' She fingered the mark on the wall. ‘And feel it,' she added. ‘It's damp here still since the last high tide.'

‘But that means we're going to drown!' said Clingy Mum in astonishment.

‘Ah, rubbish,' said Bruno's mother. ‘They must have missed us long ago.'

‘They'll be looking for us by now,' said Earth Mother.

‘But nobody knows where we are,' said Susie. ‘Except Kruschke. And he's not going to tell anyone.'

‘My goodness, that man has a screw loose all right,' said Sophie's mother and tapped her temple to show that she thought Snivelling Susie had a screw loose too. ‘But I still think he's harmless. You're jumping to conclusions.'

‘Exactly,' someone else agreed. ‘He told us to be careful because the door gets stuck. The wind must have banged it shut.'

‘No door sticks so badly that it can't be opened by the combined strength of seventeen women,' said Susie. ‘I'm sure Kruschke locked us in.'

‘Why would he do that?' asked Earth Mother. ‘What good would that do him?'

‘I wish I knew,' said Susie.

Emily rubbed her eyes. What she was looking at was like a scene out of a film, a film she would never have chosen to watch. There stood eleven Aunt Annas with revolvers, every one of them pointed at her. And not only at her but at Sophie and Bruno and at Vibke Paulsen, Nicholas and Ramona Bottle, who had arrived in response to Emily's horrified scream.

Kruschke had set himself up in front of his creations. His left eye was wandering from one to the other, while his right eye stared straight ahead.

‘If you don't all disappear from here right now, there could be an accident,' he said menacingly.

‘Hell's bells, Kruschke, what is this all about?' asked Vibke Paulsen. ‘You don't really mean it, do you?'

‘I absolutely do mean it.'

The ‘tock, tock' of a walking stick could be heard. Frau Wohlfarth was coming down the stairs. Behind her, with his head uncharacteristically ducked, came her son, carrying Henry the Fourth.

On seeing the old woman, Kruschke backed up a bit.

‘Kruschke, you are an idiot!' she yelled at him. ‘And you always were. My husband should have thrown you out back then when you torched half the factory.'

Kruschke touched his right eye. ‘That's when I lost my eye. All because that old skinflint used cheap gunpowder from China in his cartridges.'

‘Stuff and nonsense! My husband received several awards for his inventions in the field of rapid-fire munitions.'

‘His
inventions. You must be joking!' screeched Kruschke. ‘I invented all those things!'

‘Bah,' Frau Wohlfarth said dismissively.

‘Kruschke really wasn't to blame for the explosion, Mother,' Wohlfarth dared to interrupt.

‘Silence! You have nothing to add to this conversation,' said the old woman, pointing her stick at Kruschke. ‘If anyone is going to disappear from here it will be you. You and your dollies.' She pointed at the Annas. ‘As far as I am concerned, you and your Annas can go to hell.'

Kruschke stepped right up to the old lady.

‘I have spent my whole life being ordered around by people like you. First by your husband, then by your son. But that's all over now.'

He pressed a button on his remote control, and the Annas stepped forward, put their revolver hands out and scrunched up their eyes, as if to concentrate on their targets.

Kruschke's voice became high and shrill. ‘In future, there will be no more people like you. Because my dolls will revolutionise the world.'

The children shrank back. Ramona Bottle got hold of Vibke Paulsen. Nicholas was hiding behind Sophie.

‘You and your stupid mother school,' spat Kruschke, looking at Wohlfarth. ‘Surely you don't think you can really make good mothers out of these idle, stupid, irresponsible women. My Annas, on the other hand, are perfect. They have an unlimited capacity to learn. And one day they will be able to reproduce themselves and then finally the world will be the way I imagine it.'

‘He's nuts,' whispered Vibke Paulsen. ‘He was always a bit odd, but now …'

Sophie took a deep breath and took a step towards Kruschke. ‘Perfect, my eye! Our Aunt Anna was just weird. She gave Nicholas cat food. And she scared him. I want to see my mother – right now!'

‘Me too,' said Emily.

‘Me too,' said Bruno.

Kruschke gave an evil laugh. ‘You want to see your mothers? Well, I am sorry to inform you that that will not be possible.' He checked his watch. ‘They should be just about up to their necks in it by now, as the saying goes.'

Beside himself, Wohlfarth yelled, ‘What have you done with my students?'

‘I never touched them,' said Kruschke. ‘Like all women, they are curious. I can't help it if they want to go sticking their noses into things that do not concern them.'

‘What's that supposed to mean?' asked Vibke Paulsen. And then, suddenly suspecting the worst, she shouted, ‘Not … not the bunker?'

‘Oh, God!' cried Ramona Bottle, clapping her hand to her mouth.

Emily looked at her, her eyes wide with terror.

‘What does that mean?' she asked.

But nobody took the slightest bit of notice of her.

‘We have to call the coastguard,' called Wohlfarth, running to an old-fashioned telephone hanging on the wall.

Kruschke pressed another button on his remote. A shot rang out. It sounded like an explosion in the huge building.

Wohlfarth stood stock-still. He stared blankly down at Henry the Fourth, whom he was still carrying in his arms. The sleeve of Wohlfarth's jacket had a neat hole in it. Henry had been hit.

‘My poor Henry!' cried Frau Wohlfarth.

The bullet hadn't hurt Henry, but it had shot his topnotch clean off.

‘Get away from that telephone!' Kruschke ordered. ‘As you see, these ladies are good shots.'

While Kruschke's eyes were on Wohlfarth, Bruno tried to reach the outside pocket of his rucksack, which he was carrying over his shoulder.

‘We must do something!' screamed Ramona Bottle, in a total panic.

Kruschke swung around. ‘One more word out of you and …'

He pressed a button on the remote and one of the Annas stepped right up to Ramona Bottle and pressed a revolver against her chest with a smile.

‘Look, have a bit of sense, Kruschke,' called Vibke Paulsen, who was able to think practically, even in a situation like this.

Kruschke laughed again. ‘Me? I'm not shooting anyone here. Regrettable programming error. These things happen.'

‘We're witnesses that you …' Ramona Bottle started.

But Kruschke would not let her say any more. ‘There will be no witnesses here because I am going to bring this business to an end right now.'

He was just about to press another button when something very strange happened. Still smiling sweetly, the Annas dropped their revolvers and started to form a circle.

Kruschke turned on Bruno and grabbed the remote control out of his hand.

‘You can forget about that, my boy.'

‘Yeah, sure,' said Bruno, landing a right hook on Kruschke's nose so hard that he hurt his hand.

After that, everything happened at once. Kruschke fell to the ground, old Frau Wohlfarth started lashing out with her stick at the Annas who were encircling her, battering them into bits, Bruno was wringing his sore hand, Henry the Fourth piddled on Wohlfarth's arm with the shock of it all and Vibke Paulsen yelled, after one look at Kruschke, ‘He's passed out. Water, quick!'

Ramona Bottle said, ‘Serves him right!'

Vibke Paulsen made a not very polite gesture and said, ‘But he has to tell us what he has done with the mothers.'

She ran off and came back with a bucket of water, which she threw in Kruschke's face. He spluttered and spat and opened first his real and then his artificial eye. ‘Sarah,' he murmured. ‘Sarah, where are you?'

By now, Wohlfarth had got rid of the dog and was screaming into the phone. ‘What? No, that can't … we need help immediately! Yes, I understand, but please, hurry!'

He hung up. ‘The lifeboat can't be put out to sea. Engine trouble. They won't be here for at least two hours.'

‘What time is it now?' asked Vibke Paulsen.

‘It is exactly nineteen thirty-seven Central European Summer Time,' said a monotone voice. A woman in a flowery dress was coming out of Kruschke's workshop.

‘Prototype 3131!' cried Wohlfarth. ‘I thought she had drowned.'

The woman came closer and stopped beside Kruschke.

‘Help me, Sarah,' called Kruschke. ‘Pass me that revolver there.'

And before anyone could do anything about it, Sarah had bent down and picked up one of the revolvers.

‘Give it to me!' Kruschke sat up. ‘Remember what I taught you,' he admonished her.

‘I love you. You are a handsome man. I love you. You are a handsome man. I love –'

‘Give it to me!' cried Kruschke.

Sarah stretched out her hand. ‘Here you are,' she said politely and bashed him over the head with the gun. Kruschke hit the floor for the second time.

At that moment, Sven-Ole came bursting into the hall. ‘I've looked everywhere, the whole beach, the dunes – nothing,' he managed to get out between gasps.

‘They're probably in the bunker,' said Vibke Paulsen tonelessly, ‘and it is filling right up with water.'

Sven-Ole's eyes opened wide in horror. ‘Oh Lord God! What a –'

‘Bunkers are defended structures which are supposed to protect those who are inside them from the effects of weapons. They are usually built of concrete or steel,' Sarah rattled off.

‘Shut up, you stupid doll!' called Frau Wohlfarth, raising her stick.

Bruno threw himself across the old woman's body. ‘Stop! Wait a minute!'

He turned towards Sarah. ‘What do you know about the bunker on Nordfall?'

‘The bunker on Nordfall was built during World War II and was intended as an observation point from which enemy ships could be seen. There is an underground passage from it to the only guesthouse on the island, through which alcohol was frequently smuggled, and –'

‘The secret passage! Of course!' Vibke Paulsen smacked her forehead. ‘Why didn't I think of it! Come on, we have to get to Dune View!'

‘And what about Kruschke?' asked Ramona Bottle.

‘I love you. You are a handsome man,' twittered Sarah again. But Kruschke couldn't hear her. He was lying unconscious among the remains of his dolls.

‘He's out of action anyway,' said Bruno. ‘My finger too, unfortunately.' He held up his right hand, the one he had used to biff Kruschke. His little finger was hanging at an alarming angle.

‘Henry and I will personally guard this gentleman,' said Frau Wohlfarth, poking Kruschke in the stomach. ‘And you can stay here and clean up this mess, Walther,' she ordered her son, pointing at the scattered arms and legs of the destroyed Annas.

‘I'll help him,' said Ramona Bottle, giving Wohlfarth an encouraging look, but he had eyes only for his mother and said, ‘Yes, Mother; certainly, Mother.'

Vibke Paulsen and Sven-Ole were out of earshot by now. They were running out of the hall with the children.

Lührsen, the owner of Dune View, was more than a little surprised when the door to his bar was flung open and Vibke Paulsen came running up to him, her chest heaving.

‘Well, Vibke, has your husband run out of beer or what?' he asked.

‘Have you got the key to the underground passage?' she cried. ‘Our students are trapped in the bunker.'

Hinnerk, who had been sitting at one of the tables, jumped up. ‘What are you lot doing here again?'

‘Stop asking questions, just come with us into the cellar,' said the guesthouse owner. ‘You too, Sven-Ole. We need strong men.'