The Wraiths of Will and Pleasure (22 page)

‘We mean you no harm,’ Ulaume said, which even to him sounded unconvincing. ‘I am a friend of Pellaz Cevarro. You know him?’

‘He’s dead,’ she croaked, her voice sounding rusty with disuse.

‘Not any more – apparently,’ Ulaume answered, ‘but then, I’m not sure. He has spoken to me here. You are his sister, yes?’

‘There’s nothing left for you here,’ the girl rasped. ‘Go.’

‘I am not here to take anything,’ Ulaume said. ‘I came here only looking for sanctuary for myself and Lileem, the harling – the child. We are alone. I am not a warrior. I don’t even have a tribe, but I knew your brother.’

‘I have no brothers,’ she said, ‘only monsters. They are gone.’

Ulaume drew a deep breath. ‘A har called Cal brought Pellaz to my tribe. Pell had been incepted to Wraeththu at another settlement. He came to us for training.’

The girl turned onto her side and put her hands over her ears.

Ulaume sighed deeply. ‘You are right. He is no longer your brother. He cast off all that he was the moment he became Wraeththu. There is no point in talking about it.’

He turned to Lileem who was sitting absolutely still, no doubt taking in every word. ‘Ask your friend if she wishes to eat. You can prepare something for her.’

‘Child stealer!’ hissed the girl, still with her back to him.

‘I did not steal Lileem,’ Ulaume said coldly. ‘He is not human, whatever you think. He was born of Wraeththu and is as much your enemy as I am. His blood poisoned you.’ He did not wait for a reply but left the room.

Outside, in the murmuring garden, he took deep breaths to calm himself. He must not let this human affect him, if indeed she was still human. Creatures stalked this place and none of them were normal. He’d seen something vile in the Cevarro house and he must find out what it was. The girl had spoken of monsters. He had seen one. But where did he progress from here? He did not expect the girl to take to him, it would be unrealistic to imagine so. But she held the answers. She had the history in her.

Ulaume narrowed his eyes and scanned the night. He sensed a dark cloud hanging over the hill, although the night was clear.

‘Her name,’ Lileem said, ‘is Mima.’

Ulaume and Lileem were sitting in the garden. The girl would not move from her place by the stove, other than to visit the small bathroom off the kitchen. She had lived there, a silent, brooding presence, for another three days. She would not acknowledge Ulaume existed, and he pretended she wasn’t there.

‘You must ask her something,’ Ulaume said. ‘I want you to ask her to examine her own body. Ask her if there are any changes.’

‘Why?’

‘I think you incepted her accidentally.’

Lileem grinned. ‘Made her like me? Is that possible?’

‘How should I know? It’s as much of a mystery to me as to you. But perhaps, if we find out, we’ll learn a little about how you might be one day.’

Ulaume’s heart clenched at the sudden flowering of delight and hope in Lileem’s face. ‘You can also ask her how she feels, if she’s noted any differences about her perceptions, that is, how she sees the world and hears it, and what she does not hear or see but somehow
knows
.’

Lileem nodded vigorously. ‘I will! I will!’ He hugged Ulaume fiercely. ‘Thank you, Lormy. Thank you for giving this to me.’

Ulaume laughed uncomfortably, remembering his own bitter thoughts at the poolside before Lileem’s accident. ‘I did nothing: you did.’

‘You could have left her to die. You helped her live.’

‘That is true. Perhaps I am a nicer har than I think I am.’

Ulaume waited for Lileem to come back to him with answers, and was therefore surprised when Mima herself addressed him in the kitchen the following morning. It was preceded by a punch in the face, which took him even more by surprise. As he was picking himself up from the floor, fully prepared to defend himself in the most vigorous manner, Mima pushed back her hair and said, ‘The child says something has been done to me, the same thing you do to boys. Is that true?’

Ulaume merely flared his nostrils. ‘When you can behave with dignity and courtesy I may be moved to answer your queries.’ He stalked out into the garden and began picking berries from a rather straggling bush.

Mima followed him and hovered behind him. Ulaume hid a smile. He could sense Pellaz strongly. After a while, Mima said, ‘There are changes. I am different.’

Ulaume waited a moment, then glanced round at her. ‘That is perhaps unfortunate. I can do nothing to help you now and Lileem is only a child.’

‘What do you mean?’

He shrugged carelessly. ‘Well, in Wraeththu, you have to take aruna after inception. But no females become Wraeththu, so you’re probably not har. I don’t know what you are.’

‘I don’t know what you’re talking about. Explain.’

‘Aruna is sex. You need it to finish the inception. But there’s no one for you to do it with. You are not har. I can sense it. Maybe you don’t even need it. Who knows?’ He turned back to the berry-picking.

‘I am not the same as I was. Is this what you are, what Lileem is?’

Ulaume shrugged. ‘I don’t know. I’m not even sure what Lileem is. He was exposed by his parents in the desert to die, so you can be sure he’s not normal.’

Mima screwed up her eyes, rubbed her face in confusion. ‘The child is a girl, anyone can see that.’

‘Well, perhaps that is the reason then. But if so, he – or she – is not a human girl. He’s a freak, and so are you.’

‘I do not feel like a freak,’ Mima said and her tone caused Ulaume to stop what he was doing and pay her more attention.

She squatted down in front of him. ‘May we talk?’

‘If you can keep your hands to yourself, yes.’

‘I have lived a nightmare, can you understand that?’

He nodded.

‘I have lived in a dark world, watching myself. Whatever has just happened to me brought me back. I awoke a few days ago and I was back in the real world, no longer just a spectral observer. It has taken me some days to accept this, for it had been my decision to leave my own mind.’

‘What happened?’ Ulaume asked.

Mima stood up, and gazed down upon her old home, hands on hip. ‘We were attacked, as many people warned us we would be. Nearly everyone was killed. They took my brothers, as Pell had been taken, but one I managed to help escape.’

There was a silence, which Ulaume intuited Mima wanted him to fill. He had a history and answers that she desperately wanted too. ‘Did you take him after he’d been incepted?’

She made a sound of exasperation and kicked the dirt. ‘They had done something to Terez, yes, if that is inception. He was very ill. We’d heard months before there might be some physical change involved in becoming Wraeththu, but I’d not believed it. Not until I was forced to.’

‘I think I’ve seen him,’ Ulaume said. ‘You shouldn’t have done that. Do you know what you have done?’

‘Know? I tried to save someone I loved, after everyone else was dead. Is that so wrong?’

Ulaume stood up also. ‘Yes, in this case. If you have lived in a dark world, then he exists in a grotesque half world. I shudder to imagine.’

‘Do you! What happened to Terez, what happened to me, to my parents, to my sisters and brothers, it is beyond understanding, beyond hell. I had to leave it all behind.’

‘Yet you survived,’ Ulaume said. ‘In that, you are very similar to Pell.’

Mima grimaced. ‘He chose that life. I hated him for it. I hated him for leaving us.’

‘You shouldn’t. The alternative might have been another Terez. At the very least, you would have lost him anyway, and probably to a barbaric tribe. You should know that he received the very best and most gentle inception. He was trained well, so well in fact, it appears he may have survived physical death. He still cares about you, when so many hara have cast off their human past completely. He has spoken to me of you.’

‘Did he send you here?’

‘No, it was coincidence, if such a thing exists. But perhaps not. Pellaz certainly inspired me to leave my tribe, and if I had not done so, Lileem might well be dead now.’

Mima’s eyes were round. ‘Tell me. Everything.’

‘We have much to speak of,’ Ulaume said. ‘In essence, it is difficult to know where to start.’

‘The beginning,’ Mima said. ‘The truth about Wraeththu, what you are. All I know is what travellers told us. I look at you, and at Lileem, and I can see you are different to those who murdered my people. It is of this I want to know.’

‘Let’s go inside,’ Ulaume said. ‘Lileem should be with us while we talk.’

Later, Ulaume reflected that Pellaz, had he been Mima, would very probably have reacted in the same way his sister did to the enormous and stultifying catalogue of revelations and unbelievable fact. After hours of discussion, she went quiet, then announced she needed time alone. Not once, during the proceedings, had she revealed anything about herself or her new condition. Ulaume realised she was not self-obsessed. In some ways, her body was incidental to her. She knew she had learned things that the majority of humanity never had nor ever would. She sensed the responsibility of this knowledge and also the fact that Fate had plucked her from madness and/or death. She was too bright and aware not to realise this was a second chance, for which, whatever the circumstances of it, she should be grateful. But unlike those hara who had initially resisted inception, only to wake from althaia and realise they would be stupid not to make the best of it, Mima did not have the support and guidance of others like herself. She was, to Ulaume’s knowledge, unique. She had learned what Wraeththu was. She had yet to learn how she fitted into the picture, and for the answer, she would look within herself. As she left the house, Ulaume could only admire her courage.

Mima became part of their household, and a very useful part, as she had domestic and farming skills Ulaume did not, and was familiar with the terrain and its flora and fauna. Despite her earlier hostility, she was clearly grateful to have companions once more, and because they lived apart from the world, it did not matter what kind of creatures they were: how different or how similar. Ulaume learned they lived in the house Mima’s people had called the Richards House, or simply the White House, and that it had once belonged to a hermitic landowner named Sefton Richards. The Cevarros had worked for him and the farming settlement they lived in was known either as just the Richards Place, or else as Casa Ricardo, in the native tongue. Mima explained to Ulaume that when the rogue Wraeththu had come to destroy the farm, she’d been lucky. She’d been away from home, buying tools from a neighbouring farm some miles away, and had seen the smoke from a distance when she’d returned. For some days, she’d haunted the shadows, seeking evidence of whether her family had survived or not. The Wraeththu had remained there until the althaias were over, because they’d incepted every suitable young male. Mima had found Terez before he’d regained consciousness. With the stealth of a mountain lioness, she’d crept into the house the Wraeththu had been using for their inceptees and had stolen him away from beneath the noses of his captors. But when he’d regained consciousness, he’d been wild and mindless. She’d had to tie him up and take him out into the desert to wait for the Wraeththu to move on. ‘I had another brother, Dorado,’ she said, ‘but I couldn’t find him. I was just relieved I was able to rescue Terez.’

Ulaume winced as he listened to this story, imagining Terez’s terror, his instincts that would have craved to be with the ones who had made him like them. It must have felt as if his limbs were being torn off.

‘Eventually, I untied him,’ Mima said. ‘He went for me like a wild animal and I had to run for my life. He didn’t know me then, and he hasn’t since. Well, you’ve seen what he is now.’

She had returned to Casa Ricardo and had buried the bodies she’d found there: these were the graves Ulaume had seen at the base of the hill.

‘After that, which was the most terrible thing anyone should ever have to do, I lost my mind,’ she said. ‘It went all in one go, just like a light going out. I laid the earth over the final grave and I died too, and yet I didn’t. All I can remember is running around screaming, and then everything gets muzzy. There was no day or night, no thought. Terez and I must have been occupying the same territory, but we never met up. We were both animals. He still is, of course. It began to change for me when I met the little girl – Lileem. I felt like a big dog, wagging my tail for her. I just wanted to please her and be with her. The rest… you know what happened.’

‘I found dead upon the road near here,’ Ulaume said. ‘More recent than what happened to your people. Did the rogue Wraeththu return?’

She shook her head. ‘No. Most likely, Terez did that. He eats anything.’

Ulaume swallowed with difficulty.

‘The bad Wraeththu must have attacked every farm around here,’ she said. ‘So there must have been some survivors seeking an escape.’

Pell’s prophecy, or wish, had come true. Ulaume and Mima had found each other, and together they could keep Lileem, and each other, safe. Ulaume only hoped the outside world, and all that was evil in it, would pass them by.

Chapter Twelve

Saltrock felt different now. Seel walked the familiar streets and it was as if revisiting a childhood haunt. He’d been away only a short time, although longer than he’d planned, but even in the few weeks of his absence, new buildings had sprung up. As he’d expected, the Gelaming had been determined to make their superior presence felt and had lost no time in ingratiating themselves with Stringer, who being an affable soul, had seen no sinister motive in their behaviour. For Stringer, it had no doubt been astounding to realise that he was effectively in charge of Saltrock. With Orien gone, and Seel away with Colt, the inhabitants had invested him with authority. They had gone to him with queries and to seek advice, because there’d been nohar else to turn to.

Seel had to admit that Stringer had done a good job. He’d even been round to tidy up Seel’s office and Seel felt strongly that his plans for the town had been inspected thoroughly. Was it time to hand over the reins of Saltrock to Colt and Stringer, who were more than suitable for the role? Evidence seemed to point that way, but Seel felt uneasy, because this was what Thiede wanted, and therefore he had to suspect that Thiede had somehow engineered the situation.

Seel discussed it openly with Colt, who said, ‘We don’t want power, Stringer and I, but after what I’ve seen, I think maybe Immanion is the place for you, and we’d gladly care for Saltrock while you’re away.’

It seemed so neat and easy, perhaps too much so, and for this reason Seel put off making a decision. Thiede didn’t hassle him about it, which in itself was suspicious.

Some six months after his return to Saltrock, Seel received a visitor. Early one morning, there was a knock at the front door while he was eating breakfast, and when he went to answer it, he found Ashmael Aldebaran on the porch. Seel stared at him in stunned silence for some moments and Ashmael said, ‘No, Thiede hasn’t sent me, in case you were wondering.’

‘Come in,’ said Seel, aware at once that Fate was handing him an information update on a plate. He was also aware that his initial reaction on seeing Ashmael had been pleasure.

‘It must be difficult to construct an idyll in a place like this,’ Ashmael said as Seel led him to the kitchen, which was where he spent most of his time nowadays. ‘You have to admit Thiede chose a better spot.’

Seel did not deign to comment on this, but made Ashmael some coffee and sat him at the table. Like Thiede, he seemed too big for Saltrock, an anachronism. His thick fair hair was cut fairly short by Wraeththu standards, but fell across his face seductively. He brushed it out of his eyes continuously, a boyish gesture that seemed at odds with his appearance and position. Perhaps he knew that and it was a conscious conceit.

‘Your hara are intrigued by Gelaming,’ Ashmael said, sipping the coffee. ‘I attracted quite a crowd before I found your house. Luckily, everyhar wanted to show me the way. They are keen for you to take up Thiede’s offer, aren’t they?’

Seel realised he hadn’t considered that. Nohar had said so, but perhaps it was the case. A close alliance with Immanion could only benefit the town and most hara there probably did harbour secret desires to be Gelaming. ‘I haven’t made up my mind,’ he said. ‘You know why. What is more pressing in my mind is the reason for your visit.’

‘First, I’d like to say I think it would be a good idea for you to come to Immanion, but I’m not here to persuade you about that. It is the other matter.’

‘Pellaz,’ said Seel.

Ashmael nodded abruptly. ‘Have you thought about what I said?’

Seel folded his arms on the table. ‘Yes. I’m still not convinced it’s possible for Thiede to bring somehar back from the dead.’

‘I’m aware of that. However, the Hegemony has a proposal for you.’

‘Which is?’

‘How would you feel about asking Thiede to show Pellaz to you? We understand he is incarnate, at least in some form.’

‘I would like evidence,’ Seel said carefully. ‘So your request is not unfeasible. I presume you want me to report on what I find. Why can’t one of your hara do it?’

‘Thiede won’t let anyhar near Pellaz, but we are sure you would be an exception. He wants you in Immanion, Seel. You don’t know how desperately. You gave him a condition once – do it again.’

‘He hasn’t captured Cal though, has he?’

‘Not that we know of, but this request would be easier to fulfil.’

Seel frowned. ‘You clearly believe Thiede is capable of reincarnating a dead har, so I can’t understand why you want my evidence. I didn’t know Pell that well and I imagine that if what you say is true the har who lives now must be very different to the young boy who was incepted here. What’s the point of this?’

‘It’s not just your evidence we want,’ Ashmael said.

‘What else?’

‘We want you to kill him.’

Seel laughed at the absurdity of these words. ‘Really! You think I’d do that?’

‘Why not? In one sense, he is already dead and I know you are disgusted by the idea of what’s been done to him as I am. The Hegemony does not want Pellaz brought to Immanion, Seel, but our hands are tied. Thiede has great power, not only in a personal sense, but also throughout Wraeththukind. We are aware our own limited powers could be taken from us very easily. We do not want some zombie puppet of Thiede’s ruling in Immanion. The idea is unthinkable. Don’t get me wrong. I admire Thiede and know that we need him in order to construct our society, but in this he is misguided. It’s some bizarre personal dream he has, and more than a few of us think it has the mark of insanity upon it.’

‘It’s obvious Thiede is a little insane,’ Seel said. ‘And perhaps Orien died for what he knew.’ He hesitated.

‘This abomination must be disposed of,’ Ashmael said quickly, ‘and you can do it.’

‘You’re asking me to throw away my life, I think. Thiede wouldn’t take kindly to losing his dream, would he?’

‘There are rumours,’ Ashmael said, ‘that this is not the first time Thiede has tried this procedure. It has failed before. Whatever he’s doing, it must be a risky process and the revenant is fragile. We believe that is why he keeps hara away. Dree managed to grill him for information and Thiede told him the entire process takes several years. We don’t know how he does it, or what state the revenant is in during this time. I know what I’m asking you to do. I know the risks, and there’s nothing I can offer you in return, other than the Hegemony’s support. But we feel strongly this process must be aborted before it reaches fruition. Surely you agree with this. It is a crime against nature. If you won’t do it for us, do it for the friend you once had in Pellaz.’

Seel considered and a frightening image of an undead Pellaz flashed through his mind. Would Pellaz want Seel to end his life again? Would it be release rather than murder? Those were the salient questions. In Pell’s position, Seel would not want to live, not in the manner Ashmael implied, but until he’d seen Pellaz for himself Seel couldn’t know what was the best thing to do. ‘How would I do it?’ he asked.

‘I don’t know. I can’t give you any prior intelligence. You would have to use your initiative. It may be that you will find the task impossible. We know that. We just want you to try. If we leave it for much longer, it might be too late.’

‘Thiede would kill me if he found out. I don’t want to die just yet.’

‘We have faith in your creativity,’ Ashmael said, leaning back in his chair. ‘If there is a way to do it without arousing suspicion, we are sure you will find it. You need only to convince Thiede the reason you want to see Pellaz is because you are concerned for his welfare. Thiede will believe this, because he’ll want to believe it. You are the only har he knows who was close to Pellaz. Orien would have been better, of course, because he was always at Thiede’s beck and call, but that avenue is closed. He needs you, Seel, and none of us really know why. You are part of the process, clearly. And we know you have a good heart, that you will do what’s right.’

‘That is a big assumption. You hardly know me.’

‘We know enough.’

‘How flattering.’

‘Thiede has left you alone, but he’s jittery. I don’t think a day goes by your name is not mentioned in the Hegalion. He’s building you up, making sure the Hegemony think well of you. And we do, but not for the reasons Thiede might want. He will contact you soon, be sure of it. That is the time for you to make your request.’

‘Very well, I will ask him, but can make no promises other than that.’

‘It is all we ask. You know our thoughts and I think I know yours. Of course, should it ever arise, this meeting never took place.’

‘Naturally.’

‘I too am taking risks, Seel.’

‘I appreciate that, although perhaps you should have made a more covert approach to my house. I expect there isn’t a har in Saltrock who’s not aware of your presence here today.’

‘So? We are friends, aren’t we? I won’t hide the fact of my visit, only some of the content. The official story is that I have come to see you because I couldn’t get you out of my mind after spending time with you in Immanion. Is that unreasonable?’

‘No. How far am I expected to go to maintain this cover story?’

‘As far as you like. Thiede would be delighted if our friendship were to deepen. He would see it as a means to further his cause.’

‘Mmm.’ Seel considered the har before him, who was arrogant and confident, supremely attractive and determined to get his own way. It was amusing to be in such demand.

‘More than one har in Immanion has dreams,’ he said. ‘I’m not what you think I am.’

‘It is not my intention to be coarse,’ Ashmael said. ‘This aspect of my visit has revealed itself in rather a cumbersome way.’

‘Clinical, I’d say. The implication is that you are prepared to endure my company in order to achieve your aims.’

Ashmael pulled a rueful face. ‘That’s not the case. I’m sorry. When I said I couldn’t get you out of my mind, I wasn’t lying.’

Seel stood up. ‘Would you like to see the town?’

Ashmael stared at him through narrowed eyes. ‘That is courteous of you, tiahaar.’

‘Courtesy costs nothing,’ Seel said.

A group of younger hara had appointed themselves as grooms to Ashmael’s
sedu
horse, which stood near the centre of town, idly stamping its hooves and devouring the food offerings made to it. Ashmael went over to the group, and chatting affably told them they could ride the horse if they wanted to. This offer was met with unrestrained cries of delight. The hara were not simply pleased by being able to ride a Gelaming horse, but because Ashmael had spoken to them.

As they walked away, Seel said, ‘Is that wise, Ash? I don’t want my hara disappearing into thin air.’

‘They won’t open a portal, don’t worry. Zephyr is a wise beast. He’ll trot round like an old nag for them.’

‘You like a well trained creature, disciplined to an inch of its life.’

‘On the contrary. I prefer spirit. Is that your Nayati? How quaint.’

Seel took him inside the temple. It felt unused and forlorn since Orien’s death, even though hara still used it regularly. It had become a shrine to Orien’s memory. Some of them prayed to his spirit there.

Ashmael admired the carved wooden columns that supported the roof and praised the artistic skills of their creators.

Seel only shuddered. ‘This place should be knocked down and rebuilt,’ he said, rubbing his arms. He knew the Gelaming had performed banishing and cleansing rituals before the altar, but for him the air would always smell of blood. It was no longer a spiritual place.

He only realised he had closed his eyes when he felt Ashmael’s hands on his shoulders. ‘It’s bad for you, Seel,’ Ashmael said softly. ‘Let it go. This is part of why you should leave here.’

I don’t want to fall into your arms so easily,
Seel thought, doing so. He didn’t want to share breath either, but was powerless to resist, because his heart and body desired it.

‘This place is a tomb,’ Ashmael said. ‘You don’t belong here.’

‘It is not,’ Seel snapped. ‘It’s recovering. It will recover.’

‘It’s not your life’s work to heal Saltrock’s heart,’ Ashmael said. ‘You proved something in building this place. It’s time to move on.’

‘Are you sure Thiede didn’t send you?’

Ashmael laughed. ‘You know that he didn’t. You want to be what I am. I know you do. You covet what you see in me. And you can have it.’

‘That’s offensive,’ Seel said. ‘I’m not like that.’ But he didn’t pull away.

‘Aren’t you?’ Ashmael murmured, running his fingers through Seel’s hair. ‘It’s the truth, isn’t it? You know you are bigger than what’s been given to you, and you deserve more. I respect you, Seel. You will not find betrayal in me.’ He took Seel’s face in his hands to share breath once more, and Seel knew that Ashmael had been referring, if only partly, to Flick. The Gelaming knew all about his private life, because they saw it as their business to know. And who was Flick in comparison to these shining stars of Immanion? Who was he to apportion blame and walk out of Seel’s life? A flicker of resentment and grief burned briefly but hot in Seel’s heart. In that moment, his decision was made.

Colt and Stringer saw Seel’s new relationship with Ashmael as a positive healing thing. They were not aware of the darker undercurrents and Seel didn’t enlighten them. Ashmael took to visiting Saltrock fairly regularly. Seel always looked forward to these visits, but somehow they didn’t feel real. In bed, Ashmael taught him things he’d never dreamed possible, all the while respecting Seel’s pride and pretending Seel already knew of them. Seel felt as if he were being groomed for something. Taking aruna with Ashmael was like being trained to explode the world. He could feel immense power simmering round him and yet he could not dispel the suspicion, however slight, that Thiede’s hand was behind it. He was under no illusion that this relationship was permanent.