The Wrong Side of Midnight (16 page)

Becky returned all the dresses to the store. She wanted to talk to Matthew while he was out of earshot of Chloe. After she handed the dresses to the sales lady, she went to the parking lot and sat in her car.

"I'm really worried about her, Matthew. The wedding is in less than a month, and she doesn't even have a gown picked out. She loves you to
pieces,
I know this for a fact, so
you're not the cause. This has everything to do with her parents. A mother is supposed to be out shopping for a wedding gown with her daughter. A mother is supposed to be helping to plan the big day. Her mother is here, but missing all at the same time. I'd go shake the crap out of Sylvia, but the last thing the guards would allow is me back on her property. I'm trying to get her to talk about it. I know she's sad and everything, but is there something I don't know?"

"She wrote a letter to her parents but didn't want to mail it. I don't know what I'm going to do. Something has to happen though or there won't be a wedding, and I'm afraid there won't be a Chloe. She's
very depressed. I've respected her privacy regarding that letter, but now I think it's best if I read it."

"Part of me wants to argue with you because she wanted that letter to be private. But I think it's time we found out."

"Can you get her out of the house?"

"Yeah, I can get her to leave, just as long as where we're going doesn’t have anything to do with the wedding."

When Matthew got home, Chloe was gone. Becky convinced her to go to a bookstore and promised him to have her out until nine that evening. At first she wasn't going to go, but
when Becky started to beg, she went just to get her to hush. Matthew didn't even shower or change first. He went right to the bedroom and opened up the tablet. He sighed in relief when he saw the letter sitting there. It would be just as difficult for him to read as it was for Chloe to write. He took a deep breath and sat down on the edge of the bed and began to read:

Dear Sylvia and Earl,

I feel funny calling you by your first names, but 'Mom and Dad' feels even more out of place. I don't think those titles are there to describe what someone is, but rather what they do. You're either a mom or dad,
or you're not. It sounds complicated but it really isn't. I'm your biological daughter, which makes you my mother and father. But you're not my mom and dad. I'm sure you don't mind though, Sylvia. The few times I got to see you, you always asked me to call you by your first name in public. I guess
it's
okay, because we're strangers anyway since you abandoned me at birth, right? I'll try not to be angry while I write this, but I can't promise you anything.

I would like you to tell me what my favorite color is. What makes me laugh the most? What do I eat every morning for breakfast? What's my favorite food? When did I begin to ride a two-wheeler? What was my worst nightmare or best dream?
What did I sleep with every night growing up? When was my last cold? What did I want to be when I grew up? What word could I never pronounce correctly? What was my favorite subject in school? Do I wear makeup? How much do I weigh? How tall am I? Did I sleep with a
nightlight
? What size shoe do I wear? WHAT'S BEEN GOING ON IN MY LIFE FOR TWENTY-FOUR YEARS?!?!

You know nothing about me, isn't that sad? When was the last time you called me or gave a damn? Who taught me to drive? WHAT HAPPENED IN MY ACCIDENT?!?! What were my injuries? Did I almost die? Was I afraid to get behind the wheel again? What kind of car was I
driving? WHAT'S MY ADDRESS AND PHONE NUMBER?

What
kind of parents think
that money can replace being a mom or dad? Do you find me ugly or my personality despicable? Did I do or say something that led you to believe that material objects meant everything to me? I know I'm asking a lot of questions, but my guess is
,
you know the answers to none of them. Just like I don't have any answers. The most important question for me, however, is why? What did I do to be so unworthy in your eyes? Why was I less important than a trip, a job? Why would you talk to your associates more than you do your child? I bet you know what kind of flowers your secretary likes.
What are my favorite flowers?

I managed to get by in life by lying. I lied so people wouldn't know that I was so horrible, even my parents didn't like me. The shame and humiliation you've made me endure all my life was too much for anyone to handle.

I fell in love. I knew you wouldn't approve of him right off the bat. The fact that you were so mean to him, Sylvia, proved me right. He stayed at my side while I was in the hospital. And you…did you touch me? Kiss me? Did it affect you at all seeing me so close to death? How about you, Earl, did you care? I love Matthew with all my heart. He's so good to me and loves me unconditionally. We're getting
married in a month, and I haven't even shopped for my dress. That's something I was supposed to do with my mother. Becky invited you to my shower and you couldn't bother to show up? Why? Is it because it wasn't going to be a black tie affair in a room full of photographers? You shouldn't look down upon such a wonderful man like Matthew. You should be looking down on yourselves. I wanted my father to walk me down the aisle. But who is my father, anyway? What's your favorite color?

You busted my heart. You've done irreparable damage to me, and each time I think about the two of you, the knife just stabs in deeper, and I think about you all the time.
Do you think about me? Do you miss me?

Regardless of all the things you've done, or refused to do, you're my parents and I love you. I just wish you were able to love me back. I'm really not that bad once you get to know me.

Matthew closed the notebook and picked up the phone. "Becky, it's me. I'll be gone when you bring Chloe back. I'll tell you about it later, but cover for me."

"Should I be worried?"

"No, but answer your phone if you get a call from the jail."

Chapter 15

Matthew tore out the letter and stuffed it in his pocket. He hopped in his truck and headed for the other side of the tracks, getting more ticked off with each mile he drove. He didn't even know what he was going to say or do, but he couldn't just sit back and watch the woman he loved wither away. The guards might try to stop him, or maybe Sylvia and Earl would refuse to answer the door. One way or another, he was getting inside that house.

Driving down the road along the Berkshire Estates, he glanced up at
the roof he was working on the day he first saw Chloe. His heart softened and a wide smile spread across his face until he saw the big wrought-iron gate and guard post in front of the Burlington's mansion. Matthew slowed his truck down and watched as the guard stepped out of the booth.

"Can I help you, sir?"

"I'm here to see Earl and Sylvia Burlington."

"One moment, please."

The guard recorded his license plate number and checked his driver's license. He went back inside the booth and returned a couple of minutes later.

"Mr. Sharp, I'm sorry but the Burlington's aren't able to see guests
this evening."

"Great." Matthew got out of the truck and walked to the intercom and pressed the button. "If you don't let me in and sit down and talk with me, I promise I'll go to the press, and then everyone is going to find out
exactly
how you both are. Don't test me."

The gates instantly opened. Matthew got back in his truck and drove up the long driveway. He knocked on the large front doors and waited. No one answered. He'd been at that house before and knew there was a side entrance by the pool. As soon as he stepped off the porch, the doors opened. Sylvia herself had answered them. She had to give the staff time to leave, because with
Matthew's threats, she couldn't afford to have their conversation overheard. But the staff was already well aware of what went on under that roof; they'd seen the pain in Chloe's eyes over the years, especially during the holidays and her birthdays.

"Come in and have a seat, Matthew. It is Matthew, isn't it?

He noticed she had the same nervous look on her face that she wore during the interview on television. Matthew walked inside and followed her to a study, where Earl sat quietly in a chair. He had no desire to become friends with the two of them this evening. He was there to say what he needed to say, and they were going to listen. Matthew remained standing.

"I'm marrying your daughter and you don't even know me. Don't you think that's a bit odd? Your daughter is going to live with a man, forty minutes from your house, and you don't even know the guy. Does that picture seem off to you?"

Sylvia looked down at her hands resting in her lap, and Earl's shoulders began to slump.

"I've come here to read you something. Your daughter has been having a really hard time emotionally, and it has everything to do with the both of you. She wrote you a letter, but never had any intentions of ever letting you see it. Chloe doesn't know I'm here, but I didn't know what else I could do to help her, except by doing something
to wake the both of you the hell up. I'm going to read, and you're going to listen. I can't hand it to you and have you read it. You'll just blow over every word that you don't like, and that'd be the whole thing. So I read, and you listen. That's how this is going to work."

Matthew unfolded the letter while Sylvia and Earl avoided having eye contact with him, or each other. He stood straight and read every word of Chloe's letter with as much feeling as he could muster. When he was finished, he folded it neatly back up and placed it in his pocket. Earl had glistening tears on his face, and Sylvia never lifted her chin to look at Matthew.

"How could you be so hurtful to
her? All she wants is a mom and dad. She's the most remarkable woman I've ever met, and neither of you have a clue. She's breaking, and you don't even care. What was that crap you pulled at the hospital? Didn't any of that affect you in the least?"

"It's not what you think," began Sylvia as she lifted her face and looked Matthew in the eyes.

"Well why
don't you
explain it to me then, because I would move mountains for Chloe, so I'm not opposed to moving you either."

"I'm afraid of getting close to Chloe."

"How can you be afraid of her? What did she ever say or do to make you feel that way?"

"Because I'm a horrible mother
and a horrible person."
Sylvia knew she'd have to take off her armor after all these years. "Where I grew up, you didn't exactly learn the ways of the world. I didn't have parents or a family. I was dropped off as a child and forgotten about. I think I was psychologically afraid to ever get close to another person again. They rejected me, and I thought they did it because I was some kind of God awful person. I knew when my daughter got older, she'd see the same kind of person my parents did and wouldn't want me either. So I stayed away to avoid that. As her relationship with Lois grew, I saw that as my way out. I knew our cook would do a better job with her than I could. I'm just speaking the truth,
Matthew,
I'm not excusing my behavior."

"So you couldn't forget all about that and take care of your daughter when she got hurt?"

"I cry, but I do so in private. If I show others I'm vulnerable, I set myself up to be rejected. In reality, I did to Chloe what my parents did to me, and there's no excuse for that. The problem is, I want to be with my daughter more than you could imagine. I just don't know how to fix it. She'd never forgive me, and I can't expect her to. What would I say? Everything that came out of my mouth would seem pathetic."

"So you don't even try? Chloe was devastated, the word
she
used, when she saw you lying on the news.
You haven't talked to her, yet you want the rest of the world to think you're this good mother. Then her bridal shower you were invited to…why didn't you bother coming to your own daughter's shower when you were just a few minutes away?"

"Because I've already ruined everything, Matthew.
There's no hope for me at this point."

"Maybe she'd listen if you showed this side of yourself to her, instead of that nasty woman I met at the hospital."

"I act that way so no one will get close to me. That way I don't have to go through people not wanting me."

"Earl, are you going to just sit there? That's what you've done all of your daughter's life, isn't it?"

"No, Matthew. I did something worse. I traveled nonstop. I was more preoccupied with making a lot of money for my wife, Chloe, and her children, than I was with actually taking care of her. Lois seemed great with our daughter, and my wife wasn't being honest with me. But that's neither here nor there. I'm guilty of being an absent father. I want to have a relationship with my daughter like you wouldn't believe. But I don't know how to make all this better. I don't know if it's possible to make up for twenty-four years."

"So I'm a roofer, my clothes are always dirty, my boots are worn, I don't have any money, and I'll never be able to afford this kind of lifestyle
for your daughter. But I love her more than life itself, and when she got in that accident I changed. I learned the hard
way, that
it's the simple things in life that matter, not the money you have, your prestige, or fame. I would die for that woman, and I've had to sit back and watch the both of you destroy her from the inside out. You did all that to her, put everything above her, abandoned her, and
you
put
me
down because of my
status
?"

"Matthew, I know how to give money, entertain, relate to the press, and surround myself with the finer things, and that's about it. I have no idea how to get close to my child."

"Here I stand trying to convince two grown adults to love their child,
as if I'm supposed to tell you all the great qualities about her so you'll pick her.
Shame on the both of you."

Matthew turned around and walked out, feeling nothing but anger and pity.

∞  ∞  ∞  ∞

Chloe continued to sink more, and more, the closer it got to the wedding. Matthew tried everything he could think of and had a feeling that, when it came time for the wedding, he'd be unable to get her to the altar.

"Baby, aren't you going to pick out your dress?"

"Yeah, I'll get one. I think the vows to each other are what really matters, not my clothes."

"True, but I think you should call Becky and ask her to help you try on wedding gowns. She would love that."

"
It's
fine, Matthew, I'll find a gown."

"I have to call one of the guys on my crew. It might get kind of loud so I'll take it in the bedroom. Be right back." Matthew looked at her face as she stared blankly out the window.

He closed the door and dialed the number he had kept on a piece of paper in his wallet.

"Could I speak with Sylvia please, this is Matthew Sharp." He
hoped she'd come to the phone and not ignore him.

"Hello, Matthew." She sounded like she'd either been crying or had a cold.

"Sylvia, your daughter needs to pick out a wedding gown. We're getting married in less than two weeks and she's so depressed, I feel like I'm losing her. She needs her mother to be there with her."

"Chloe wouldn't want to see me after the way I've mistreated her all her life. The best thing I can do is stay out of the way and let her be happy."

"That's the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard. Get in your car and come to this address. Knock on the door and make it right with your
daughter, and I don't care what you have to do or go through to accomplish that. I'm more than willing to bring you
here
myself, but trust me, that'll be the most unpleasant thing you'll ever go through." He hung up the phone while trying hard not to smash it. His temper cooled when he heard a soft knock on the bedroom door.

"Matthew, are you done with your call? I'm kind of tired and was thinking about taking a nap."

"Chloe, you're not tired, you're depressed, and you have been for a long time. I'm not letting you go to bed. It's one o'clock in the afternoon, so get your shoes on. We're going to go for a nice walk."

"I really don't feel like going
outside."

Matthew pulled her into his arms and kissed the top of her head. "I love you, Chloe, with all my heart. But, you're going to get your shoes on and we're going outside. I can help you tie them if you want." Matthew held her for a long time just rubbing her back and gently kissing her neck and face. "Did you eat the sandwich I made for you?"

"No I'm not very hungry."

"Eat half of it so you keep your strength up." He took it out of the refrigerator and handed it to her. She took small bites, and he could tell she had no interest in swallowing it. It took her thirty minutes just to eat that one half.

When Chloe finished eating, she
slowly walked to the closet and put on a pair of jeans, a sweatshirt, and her sneakers. The sky was overcast, which perfectly matched how she felt inside. She walked in the bathroom and began brushing her long blonde hair when she heard a knock on the door.

"Matthew, can you get the door please?"

There was another knock, so he went to the door and looked through the peep hole. He hid as fast as he could in the closet.

"Matthew, get the door for me." The knocking continued. Chloe sighed heavily and then went to answer it. She cracked the door enough to see who was in the hall. She just stood there staring at her
mother's tear-streaked face. Sylvia wasn't wearing makeup, and her hair was pinned back. She had on a white shirt and a pair of jeans. Chloe couldn't ever remember seeing a picture of her mother dressing so casual. This was the last person she expected to see, and she didn't know what to say or do.

"Hi, Chloe, may I come in?"

Chloe began nervously fixing her hair and straightening her clothes. "I'm sorry, I wasn't expecting anyone. I don't look very good, and my apartment is kind of small. Matthew's here and you haven't had time to get to know him, but he's really nice. I have coffee. I can make you some coffee if you want. Do you like coffee?"

Matthew stood in the closet heartbroken while he listened to Chloe talk rapidly in a quivering voice.

"I'm not sure we have time for coffee."

"I know you're busy and won't be able to stay, but I can get you a bottle of water or something."

"No, Chloe, I said we, as in me and you. I'm not sure what time the bridal boutiques close, and I'd really love it if we could hang out and look at some dresses."

"You want to go with me?"

"If you don't mind, I think we'd have lots of fun, and besides, I have twenty-four years to catch up on. I'm sorry I was such a horrible mother, and for all the pain I've caused you. I
can't erase my years of neglect, but I would love to have the opportunity to give you the time and love that you deserve from this moment forward. I want to get to know you. Your letter was a rude awakening, and I thank you for that. I can't promise you I'll be perfect, but I want you to promise me that if you have any questions or concerns, or if I screw up, you come and tell me. Do you think you would be willing to start over with me? We have lots of work to get done, so I'll be over every day. If we hurry, we can get everything completed. I'm so excited to go to this boutique. Chloe, they have the most beautiful gowns. I'd love to see you in them," Sylvia rambled.