The XOXO New Adult Collection: 16 Full Length New Adult Stories (176 page)

I snuggled against him after a few uncertain moments, hypnotized by the way our bodies fit so perfectly against each other and the effort he made to protect me in his sleep. And despite the fact that I was terribly tired, I forced my eyes to stay open so that I could listen to him breathe—that deep sound between snoring and sighing. Eventually, I reached for the trickle of drool he had warned me about wiped it away. I smiled, tucked myself into him and fell asleep.

I woke up when the light of early morning was just starting to make its way past the basement window. Instantly, I was aware of his arms still around me—the arm originally flung over me clenched to pull me closer. Whether intentional or not, his other arm had been moved under me to encircle me completely.

I blinked and watched the shadows of feet as they walked above us, unaware that William and I were even there. We hadn’t even slept together and we were cuddling? Though my knowledge of relationships was limited, it had always been my understanding that cuddling was part of the aftermath that guys were hardly interested in—if they were interested at all. So why was William holding me so protectively, so possessively, when I had done nothing for him in return? Wasn’t this supposed to be the reward? The intimate non-sexual touch of skin on skin to make the act more memorable? Wasn’t his arm numb?

I glanced over my shoulder as best I could; smiling when I saw nothing more than the mess of blond and what looked like a puddle of drool at the top edge of his pillow. Why did that make him seem so adorable? So honest? Maybe, it was because he was. From the moment we met, William had been compassionate towards me. More importantly, however, he had been honest. And if I knew nothing else about friendships, I knew that they were bred on honest ground. William and I had been friends, good friends, and just a few hours earlier, we had almost become much more. Why hadn’t I taken that opportunity when I had the chance? Because I was afraid of the way my body reacted, afraid of how much I enjoyed kissing him and the way he kissed me back.

Like the night before, I readjusted myself before cuddling back into him. Right away, he started rising against me, and once again I grew warm all over. Sensing this change in both of us, William woke with a start, his leg twitching under one of mine. Interested in how he would react to our position, I made my body as relaxed as possible and pretended to be asleep. His eyes looked down at me when he raised himself on his elbow—that much I could tell even through closed eyes. But when William became conscious that he was straining against me he swore. When he realized how loud he was, he swore again in a softer voice.

I broke with a smile and when he clumsily tried to slide his arm out from under me, swearing at himself once again in nothing but a whisper. It was all I could do to keep from laughing at this point, but it was too entertaining to feel him try to unravel our legs from each other without “waking” me.

When he tried to sort our blankets from one another—whispering curses the entire time, I lost it completely, snorting into my blanket before breaking out into full out laughter.

When I did, William rushed to sitting, his mouth opening and closing without any sound. Looking back and forth from me to that tented blanket between his legs he grew bright red, too. I laughed a little louder, snorted into my hand and turned away as he tried to collect myself. It was as he tried crossing his legs, gathering more blankets around his waist, however, that I knew what I wanted to do.

“I wasn’t trying to ah—you know. Damn it Jumper, I’m sorry.”

I brushed the hair away from my face and checked myself for drool or eye gunk. “What did I say before about apologies?”

I kissed him before some crisis of logic could try and convince me otherwise. With only the slightest bit of hesitation, he kissed me back, circling his arms around me again and pulling me to sit. Any fear I had left me then and it wasn’t until much later when I was reliving it all in my head that I wondered about offensive morning breathe or if my lips were chapped. All I cared about was whether or not he like the way my hands ran up and down his chest and if it was a good time to reach for him under the blanket. And to be honest, I was perfectly content doing that and nothing else for a few solid minutes, except that he pulled away the moment my hand started south—pushing me away as gently as his trembling hands seemed capable of.

“I—are you sure?”

I kissed his neck, just below his earlobe. “You’re not going to hurt me are you?”

He smiled, his hands releasing me to better come back to him. “I’d fling
myself
off an overpass before that happened.”

“Then you’d better kiss me before I change my mind.”

I leaned in to kiss him, but once more he kept me at bay.

“You can you know?” he said cautiously. “Change your mind if you want.”

I shook my head, smiled, and ran my fingers through his hair like I had seen him do so many times before. “Life is too short not to do what makes you happy.”

William leaned in to kiss me again, stopping himself at the very last minute. “You’re not just doing this because you want a rush right? Because I don’t think I could handle having my heartbroken by you—”

I cut him off with a kiss, charmed by his protectiveness over my self-esteem and enjoying the feel of his body too much to do much of anything else. This time, he let my hand reach for him under the blanket, a strange combination of a gasp and a seething sound emerging from his lips as I did so. I was taking back my power, the control over my life. Whether it was this feeling or the pure joy that flooded me when his lips moved to work its way down my neck I wasn’t sure—didn’t care frankly as long we continued touching each other.

Well toned and taught, I admired him when he pulled his lips away to lay me down, smiling before he shifted himself out of the blanket and reached for the hand I had burned not so long ago. He kissed me on the new skin that grew over the burn, then, the inside of my wrist, and all the way down my arm.

I giggled when his kisses tickled, inhaled sharply when they did something else. And though he started at my hand, he somehow ended up at my waistline, rolling up the t-shirt while he worked to lay kisses on my abdomen.

“William—”

In the middle of running his tongue over my belly button, he stopped and looked up. “You want me to stop?”

I furiously shook my head. “If you do I’ll kill you.”

At this position my arms weren’t nearly long enough to reach for him, but I tried anyway. William smirked down at me and lifted the shirt over my head. Drunk on lust, it took me a solid twenty seconds to understand that my top half was naked. Frankly, I noticed his eyes first, how wide and wild they looked as he took me in.

“Beautiful” He breathed.

As he leaned back to watch me, I also received a better view of the hardness between his legs—a sight that fascinated me more than I expected it to. Even as his rough palms cupped my breasts, however, I wasn’t willing to beg. Alternatively, I clutched at the blankets around us and made sounds I didn’t know I was capable of.

“W-What are you doing to me?”

Chuckling softly, he circled soft kisses along my hipbone. “I told you I wanted to kiss the sad out of you.”

Shortly thereafter, I learned I had nothing against begging.

Afterwards, William held me just as close as when we had been sleeping, the only difference being the lack of layers between us. And though I hadn’t been awake long, making love—really making love—had taken more out of my than I anticipated. William was still stroking my hair as I began drifting off, his harsh whisper jolting me away at the last second.

“Are you still with me, Jumper?”

“Yes.” I said snuggling closer against him. “There’s nowhere else to be.”

“Good.” He whispered back and though there was a hesitation in him, I wasn’t sure of it until I felt his adam’s apple as swallowed hard on top of my head. “Because I am so in love with you.”

If William hadn’t been holding me, I might have fallen right out of the bed. As it was, however, he released me when he felt how I tensed up, my muscles clenching as if preparing themselves for a blow.

“I—ah—I have to go...” I squirmed out of the bed and rushed to put back on the dress. And though I would not look at him, I could hear him rushing just as much as I was to put some clothes on.

“Jumper—Lottie, listen—”

“I have to go home and shower.” Hurried and obviously alarmed I scurried to find my shoes. Didn’t I leave them by the door? And where was I supposed to put all these bobby pins without any pockets? “My dad will be home soon, and if I’m not home—”

“You don’t have to go. I-I don’t want you to go.” Though the hurt in his voice was evident I pretended like I didn’t hear it all.

“I really have to get home and change for work.” I found the shoes but didn’t bother putting them on. My legs were much too shaky to even try.

“At least let me give you a ride—”

“No” I cut him more fiercely than I meant to, but did not apologize. “I’ll just pay the cabbie when I get home. Besides, you and the guys have like, what, twelve cars to chop?” I babbled some more excuses and snatched up as many of the bobby pins as I could before finding my way out the door. Luckily for me, he did not follow, and I left him standing in his boxers and his frown.

Chapter 19

Though I was scheduled to be home alone for at least another day, I showered anyway, torn between enjoying the faint scent of him on me and wanting to wash his words away. Why would he ruin a perfectly wonderful morning by saying something like that? The only thing I could figure was that maybe he had wanted to drive me away—consciously or not—he had regretted making love to me so profusely he said the one thing he knew my commitment fearful brain would run from.

Then again, what if William genuinely believed he meant the words? That his feelings for me were real? The look of hurt on his face when I left seemed real enough, but I had learned the hard way that men were better actors than most. I sighed, turned off the shower and buried myself in the towel. True or not that someone loved me; the world seemed too heavy for me to keep my eyes open.

I glanced at my alarm clock and quickly got dressed. I was already a good hour late for work, but considering it was the first time I was hoping my boss would overlook it. Grabbing an energy drink from the back of the refrigerator, I raced to work and ignored the dirty looks my fellow counter girl gave me.

Work was good I decided. For once, work was better than thinking about William.

I was so diligent at the bakery that no one dared to say anything to me about being late. But when I got home and there was nothing to do and only William to think of, I was glad for how tired I felt. I climbed the endless staircase to my room and closed the blinds before pulling the divan back on my bed. Somehow, though he had never been in it, my bed seemed emptier without William. Still, I did my best not to think about it, and shut my eyes dreaming about basement walls and late summer eyes.

I woke up with an emptiness that ravished my insides. Instinctively, I knew it wasn’t hunger though practicality had me searching my memory banks about whether or not we had any of the yogurt I liked. Yet, at the mere thought of food the emptiness in my gut turned to pain. I rolled over and pulled the pillow over my head.

More than once, my counselor had cautioned me about the physical symptoms of depression and how they tended to affect repressed people more than most. But what was I repressing? Over the couple of weeks I had been talking out my problems—at least more than I was accustomed to. And I was taking realistic steps to pursue the things I once wanted for my life. I was hanging out with people who encouraged me and made me laugh. I was participating in the activities that made me happy. I was...Images of William ran through my head before I allowed myself to finish the thought. I thought of the countless ways he had made me smile and how much he loved to race. I thought of what a sloppy eater he was and a shameless flirt, of his love for 80’s comedies and the way he felt inside of me.

Had I fallen in love with him last night, or did it come earlier than that—with syrup deities and introductions? I took the pillow off my head and sat up. I wasn’t sure when I had fallen in love with William O’Reilly, only that I had.

And like an idiot, I had pushed him away.

Excited and revved up more than I had been during my first race I called him right away, only slightly disappointed to get his unpersonalized voicemail after a few rings. Briefly, I actually considered leaving a message before biting my tongue and hanging up. I was never much for romance, but even I thought it was lame to tell him I loved him for the first time in a voicemail. Then again, what was I expecting? Of course William wasn’t going to pick up right away. After all, we had just stolen a dozen cars together—premium cars—and he and the guys had a lot of work to do

So, while I wasn’t sure I was capable of it, I had to be patient and wait until William could call me back. If worse came to worse, I may have had to wait until the end of the day. Then again, it may have been even better if I could tell William I loved him for the first time in person.

I was considering visiting him at work when Mom’s rolling suitcase made itself known downstairs. Truth be told I was grateful for the sound—perhaps for the very first time—as the distraction kept me from running to William’s chop shop to plead forgiveness and simultaneously suffocate him in kisses. As eager as I was to have him back, I didn’t want my desperation to be obvious.

“Mom!” Still excited, I practically ran down the stairs and jumped into her arms. And though it took a solid minute for her to respond, she did eventually hug me back. “It’s so good to see you!”

“Oh” Clearly uncomfortable, she flinched at the contact and gently patted me away. “Um—Hi honey. Shouldn’t you be studying?”

“Nope.” She didn’t even come close to spoiling my mood. “How was ah—San Diego was it?”

“
Nope
?” Her voice went up an entire octave as she followed me to the refrigerator. I couldn’t see her face, but I guessed it was priceless.