The XOXO New Adult Collection: 16 Full Length New Adult Stories (280 page)

The doorbell rang. Rachel’s eyes widened and her face lost its color.

“Who’s that?” David asked with a full mouth of food.

“Not sure,” Rachel said and cautiously stood up to leave the room. The group continued to converse in her absence. Minutes later, she returned face red and wet with tears.

David rose to his feet. “What’s wrong?”

This alarmed the whole group. We had no idea what could have happened. Then, I noticed the brown envelope in Rachel’s hand with a small pile of papers and prayed that it wasn’t a Man Test failure report.

“You son of a bitch!” Rachel yelled at David. “This is what’s wrong.” She pushed the papers and photographs against David’s chest. He glanced down at them and lifted his face to reveal a horrified expression.

“You slept with that girl, and you didn’t even know her.”

“It didn’t mean anything,” David said.

“Kind of like our marriage. How could you do this? We’ve only been married for five months.”

“Rachel, I’m sorry,” David said and rushed over to her. She shoved him away.

“Don’t touch me!” she yelled. “I can’t even look at you right now.” Rachel crossed her arms over her stomach and left the house. David started to follow her, but I pulled him back.

“David,” I said, “let her have her space, okay?”

He reluctantly stopped. “I can’t just do nothing.”

“Listen,” I said firmly. His eyes followed Rachel. “You have to trust me on this. I deal with this a lot. Just give her some space.”

David sat down with his head in his hands. Holly ran outside after her. I followed. There was no sign of her.

Holly turned to me with the fiercest anger I had ever seen from her. “No, Marin,” she yelled.

I stopped short. “I can help.”

“You’ve done enough,” Holly said. “I don’t know how, but I know you had something to do with this. What did you do, Marin? Is this one of the tricks you pulled on James? Did you set David up and send Rachel the results?”

“No, of course not,” I said, but felt a surge of heat from the guilt. It was my fault. I told Rachel about the Man Test service, but I never thought she would really use it.

Holly shook her head. “Just because you’re miserable and heartbroken doesn’t mean you have the right to bring everyone else down with you. You really messed up this time.”

I felt compelled to give her some perspective. “You think this is my fault? No matter what led up to it, David cheated. I didn’t make him do that. I tried to tell you. Men are liars and cheaters. I’m sorry that it happened to Rachel and you need someone to blame, but this isn’t my fault.”

Holly looked stunned. “Don’t act so righteous. Maybe you didn’t cheat on James, but you’ve certainly deceived him. What you did is just as bad, worse even. You took advantage of some poor guy, setting him up to prove a point. God, Marin! James is a great guy. He’s the perfect guy, and even though I asked you not to, you went ahead and played your little game. And what did it get you? Nothing. You couldn't catch James cheating because he wasn't cheating. You had a good thing and you ruined it, and you potentially ruined my sister’s marriage. So no Marin, you're not coming with me. You're done.”

My head swam with her harsh words. Holly had never been so angry, especially not toward me. Maybe I couldn’t expose James, but David exposed himself, which proved that I was right. I couldn’t help but reaffirm my belief about all men being liars and cheaters. And why wouldn’t I? After all, I worked with it, had been a victim of it, and here it was again rearing its ugly, but honest, head. Even though it was a painful truth, it was a truth, and that made me feel justified.

“You and Chad aren’t as different as I thought,” Holly said. Her words sent a cold shiver up my spine. She rushed away to find Rachel.

“Marin,” James said.

Shit . . .

I turned around. Surely, he’d heard everything.

“Is that true? Was this whole thing a set up?” he asked. Part of me felt guilty, but the other part wanted to stick it to him for what David did.

“Yes. It’s true,” I said. His eyes widened with shock.

“Why?” he asked. “Why would you do that?”

“Because you’re all the same. All that stuff about fidelity and trust, it’s all bullshit.” I could feel my body quiver from a surge of adrenaline.

“What are you talking about?”

“Maybe you’re not cheating on me now, but what happens when we’re together for ten years, twenty years?” It was a valid point that I hadn’t considered much before with James’ recurring fidelity.

“I don’t know. You seem to have all the answers.” He paused and glared at me. Neither of us not wanted to back down though we secretly wanted it not to be true. “You believe what you want, but you don’t get to play the victim. You’re the one being deceitful. You’re the liar,” James said matter-of-factly. He slammed the car door and sped off.

I covered my face with my hands and hunched down sick—sick with anger, sick with guilt, sick with sadness and uncertainty. Tears started, but I forced them back. I refused to fall apart on the sidewalk in front of the house of a cheater and his heartbroken wife.

Telly ran to my side.

“Are you okay?” she asked. I didn’t know how to answer her, so I didn’t. “Marin?” she said with a nudge. Slowly, I unburied my head from my hands and looked upon her worried face.

“Are you okay?” she asked again.

––––––––

I
paced around my apartment all night waiting for Holly to come home or at least return my calls. By six in the morning, I gave up and went to sleep. When I awoke around eleven, she still had not come back. My body ached with fatigue, but my mind raced. I poured myself a cup of chamomile tea before returning to bed. Every thought tightened the knots in my stomach. It took everything I had not to leave my apartment and search for Holly and Rachel. Both were incredibly hurt for all kinds of reasons, some my fault, some not. I knew it was better to keep my distance. Let them be. Still, it left me with unsettled feelings that made my skin itchy. Feelings of restlessness, righteousness, guilt, sadness, and relief filled me simultaneously.

I had to be patient, and since I had the whole day to be patient, it was time to do a little reflecting, analyzing, and psychoanalyzing. I was a therapist after all. It was the array of mixed emotions that attributed to my annoying unsettled feeling. I made the attempt to divide and conquer. My guilt and sadness only ran as deep as my friendships with Holly and Rachel, which were pretty significant. Terrible, what happened to Rachel. I had no idea she enlisted the Man Test service. In all fairness, I warned her not to go looking for trouble unless she was prepared to deal with her findings. She knew perfectly well what she was getting into. Though her little heart was shattered, she’d eventually be able to put back the pieces, like I had, and move forward.

I didn’t think she blamed me for what happened, but Holly definitely did. In her mind I subliminally put Rachel into a dangerous situation in which there was no way out. She would probably say it was the “law of attraction” or something. I put the idea of a cheating man into Rachel’s subconscious and in turn her husband cheated on her. Of course, I thought that was absolutely insane. Otherwise, why didn’t I attract a cheating man? Counting Anderson I guess I did, but none of that mattered anymore.

Holly was angry, angry with me for following my instincts on something critical. Okay, so what? We disagreed, but the fact that she was displeased with me was too much. It was her discontentment that left me the most unsettled, restless, sad, and guilty. How could I make her understand? I had to wonder, was she partly upset because she knew I was right? This brought me to my strongest feeling—righteousness.

Maybe what I did wasn’t exactly up to moral code, but the results spoke for themselves. Given the right opportunity, men are extremely likely to cheat. It was horrible that Rachel had to learn the hard way, especially after making a life long commitment. David was just one example. There are so many men who do the same thing, make the same shitty decision.

I had to admit that it irritated me that James hadn’t stepped out of the confines of our “relationship,” but he was probably just somewhat sensitive to infidelity given that he too had been on the other end. Like I’d told him, what were the chances that he’d remain faithful after ten, twenty, or thirty years? My prediction? Unlikely. Not that I would ever get the chance to know for sure anyway. James and I were over, which brought me to my last emotion—relief. I hadn’t pictured our breakup going quite like it had, but somehow I was freed. James knew the truth and so did I. Wasn’t that the point? The reason I’d done it all? Wasn’t that what I wanted?

Later, Telly and a bottle of vodka came to keep me company.

“Do you wanna talk about it?” she asked, handing me a fresh martini.

“No. Do you wanna talk about Will?”

“No.” We sat quietly, sipping from our pretty martini glasses, neither of us caring to share our feelings on the most recent events of our lives.

“Do you think Holly will ever forgive me?” I asked.

“Yeah. It’s not your fault David fucked up,” Telly said.

“I know, but she thinks it is,” I said, tears filling my eyes.

“Hey,” Telly said, halting the tear. “You can’t beat yourself up over this. Holly is upset because you were right, and it hurt her little sister. You went with your gut on this and proved the truth. You shouldn’t feel bad about that.”

Her words were encouraging, and I was thankful that she always had my back on the most controversial of issues, maintaining her honesty but never judging.

“Yeah, I guess you’re right. Then again, Rachel and David might be done. I’m not sure if the end justified the means.”

“That’s for you to decide. All I know is you’ve been obsessed with catching a cheater and by proxy you did. Isn’t that what you wanted?”

There it was, the same question that plagued my whole day. It
was
what I wanted, I just wasn’t sure if I still did.

The next day I returned to work as normal. Holly was still missing. Who knew if I would ever hear from her again? The notion killed me. I found myself marching into Katie’s office, looking into her sweet green eyes, and thinking she was too smart to put herself in a position like mine.

“I need your help. It’s personal,” I told her. She asked me to sit and tell her what was wrong. I divulged everything, all the details about James, my tricks, Rachel and David, Holly, and even Anderson. When I finished, her face was riddled with utter disbelief.

“Shit, you really did it this time,” she said. I bit my lip and awaited the rest of her advice, but she just stared me.

“So?” she asked.

“So, that’s it. What do I do now?” I asked. Hello?

“Oh, God, I don’t even know where to begin. You’re going to need a lot of therapy. You probably should’ve already been in therapy. You have four major problems: One, your friendship with Holly; Two, Rachel and David; Three, James; and Four, yourself and your feelings about this whole thing.”

“I just want everything to go back to normal,” I whined.

“I’m afraid it’s too late for that. The damage is done, and now you have to pick up the pieces. You have a lot of work to do. I’m going to refer you to someone else.” She began typing away on her computer.

“No, please. I don’t like therapists.” She shot me an offended glare. “I mean I don’t like other therapists.”

“I know. Doctors make the worst patients, but it’s okay. I’m handing you over to one of our own.”

“Who?” I asked.

“Andy,” she said.

I sighed. As much as I’d started to warm up to Andy over my recent views of cynicism, he wasn’t really what I would call a good therapist.

“Did you call me?” Andy entered the room.
Just in time.

“Yes, Andy,” Katie said, “I put Marin on your calendar for two o’clock today. She needs some guidance.”

“Great.” Andy looked at me like an animal about to devour his prey. “I’ve always wanted to psychoanalyze you.” He smirked, then left the room.

I turned back to Katie. “I think I’d rather see someone else.”

“Come on, Andy’s a great therapist. His methods are a little unconventional, but they work. I think it’s exactly what you need.”

At two o’clock, I opted to “forget” my appointment. By two-o-five, Andy was in my office.

“Hey, time’s running out. What’s taking so long?” Andy said.

“Sorry about that. I’m swamped,” I said appearing to be extremely busy in order to put him off. He sat down and cleared his throat.

“Bullshit.” He called me out, which should’ve been no surprise, but it startled me. “Katie brought me up to speed on your case, and I have to say Marin, I’m impressed.”

“Excuse me?”

“I had no idea you could be so ruthless. That Chad really messed with your head.”

“Fuck you, Andy.” He became infuriating all over again.

“See what I mean?” he said calmly, not fazed by my crude tone or insult.
Damn jaded prick.

“I can’t talk to you about this!” I stood up, ready to throw something at his head.

“Good,” he said and motioned for me to take a seat. “Let me do the talking.”

I sat down fuming and he rose to a lecture stance. “First, you have to know what you did was about as immature and manipulative as a teenage prank.” I crossed my arms. “But I’ve seen worse from someone suffering traumatic stress.”

“Like Lorena Bobbit?” I said.

“Let me do the talking, please,” he said with a smug expression. “So let’s start at the beginning. You catch your fiancé cheating, which caused you to call off your wedding and sink into a depression. Instead of seeking professional help to deal with your loss, you have a stroke of genius and decide to fool some poor guy so you could rid yourself of any responsibility in your own relationship failure. Because after all, if every guy does it then it didn’t just happen to you, it happens to everyone.”

I couldn’t tell if his assessment made me feel better or worse.