The Year I Almost Drowned (7 page)

about

him

had

to

be

gifts

from

her.

He sat quietly for a minute with a thoughtful expression. “I’m picking my dad up

from

rehab

tomorrow.”

His dad had finally agreed to go to rehab for his alcohol addiction. Jesse lost his

mom when he was ten after she was killed by a drunk driver, and since that time,

he’d essentially been raising his father. It’s ironic that his father was an alcoholic

since that was what killed his mother, but Hank had a serious weakness for

drinking and couldn’t seem to stop even though it affected Jesse in so many

ways. Jesse never had the opportunity to experience a real childhood after his

mother died. He spent his days cleaning the house, cooking dinner, putting his

dad to bed and then when he was old enough to drive, picking him up at bars in

the middle of the night. Jesse sacrificed so much, while his dad gave up little in

return. I was glad his dad finally agreed to get help for his addiction. Jesse didn’t

say much, about why his dad had a sudden change of heart, only that they had

a major argument and that he told him he wasn’t going to enable him anymore. It

was an epoch for Jesse. He said he did it because of me, because I’m the one

that made him see that he wasn’t living his life, that he was giving it up for his

dad. I can’t take that kind of credit; Jesse had reached his point and finally had

decided

enough

was

enough.

“Do

you

want

me

to

go

with

you?”

I

asked.

“No. It’s better I do this on my own,” he answered and then gave me an

appreciative

smile.

***

We sat inside Jesse’s car in my grandparents’ driveway. It was late, close to

midnight. One light shined on the front porch. Jesse’s car was turned off, but it

still felt warm inside. He had music playing from his CD player. Nina Simone’s

seductive deep voice sang lyrics about loving and being loved. We sat facing

each other. I could still smell the lavender and Jesse’s musky cologne.

“I had a good time. This was the best birthday present,” I said. My fingers weaved

into

his.

“Happy birthday, Finn.” He leaned forward to kiss me. It was gentle, Jesse’s lips

barely grazed mine. Our foreheads touched and I could hear him taking soft

breaths. He placed his thumb on my jaw line and caressed it.

“It’s

all

going

by

so

fast.

I’ll

be

gone

soon,”

I

fretted.

“I

know.”

He

ran

his

fingers

through

my

hair.

“What

are

we

going

to

do?”

“You won’t be that far away, Finn. Quit worrying. You should be excited about

starting college.” He leaned forward and kissed me again. “Nothing’s going to

change.”

“It’s

far

away,

though.”

“It’s not that far, Finn. It’s not like you’re going to school in Alaska.”

“But,” I started. What I really wanted to ask him was how are we supposed to

keep dating with me in another state and you working? But I didn’t. I let my heart

and

hormones

take

over.

My breath became heavier. My heart beat faster. I took a deep breath and leaned

in to kiss him. And I kissed him. My hands ran through his soft wavy hair, to his

strong

muscular

back,

and

down

to

his

firm

waist.

“Finn,”

he

said

breathlessly.

“Yes,” I said, kissing his neck, his jaw, his lips. My hands rubbed his smooth chest,

his

rock

hard

stomach,

and

squeezed

his

muscular

thighs.

“Your

grandparents

are

right

inside

you

know,”

he

said.

“So.”

I

continued

to

kiss

him.

“If you keep doing what you’re doing, I won’t want to stop,” he said and took a

deep uneven breath. “And this dress of yours...” he touched my shoulder and ran

his

fingers

to

the

top

of

my

chest,

“is

turning

me

on.”

I stopped kissing him and stared directly into his eyes. My face felt warm. His hair

was disheveled. I could see his chest heaving back and forth from each solid,

heavy breath he took. We always got to this point–a place where if we continued,

we would cross that imaginary line. But I always pulled away and he didn’t

pressure me. He said we would have sex on my terms–when I was ready. He

wanted me to be one hundred percent sure. It would be our first time, not only

together, but our first time ever. I really wanted to kiss him again and let it

continue, but I knew it wasn’t the right place or the right time. I just wondered

when that time would come.

Jesse was on my mind. I wanted to know how it went with his dad but I had to be

patient, to give him time. He needed some space. I kept checking the time on my

phone. It was a little after six o’clock, and I still hadn’t heard from him. I hoped

that everything had gone well. I could never truly relate to what Jesse was going

through.

I held the porcelain tea pot by its handle and poured Nana’s hot tea into a cup.

Her tea was perfect: lots of sugar and evaporated milk. I carried the cup and

walked outside to the front porch. It was starting to get dark out and was a little

warmer than it had been. I sat down next to Nana on the swing and we swayed

gently, rocking back and forth and back and forth again. Nana didn’t say anything.

Instead, we just sat on the swing, moving, listening to a myriad of pleasant

sounds: the rustling of trees blowing from the gentle breeze and a gaggle of

geese migrating south for winter. She wrapped her arms around me and nudged

me closer to her. Being wrapped in her arms made me feel safe.

“I have a favor to ask of you,” she finally said, interrupting the silence.

“Sure.” She could ask me anything and I’d give it to her without question.

“Did

you

know

your

grandfather

is

an

Elvis

fan?”

“Yes.” There were more songs from Elvis in the jukebox than any other musician.

When he chose a song to play, it was always an Elvis tune.

“He’s never been to Graceland, you know.” I gave her a confused look. “It’s Elvis’

home, honey,” she said, and I nodded my head in understanding. She continued,

“He

has

always

wanted

to

go.”

“Where

is

it?”

“In Memphis, Tennessee,” she answered and then paused for a minute. “Would

you

like

to

go

with

him?

You

know,

on

a

road

trip?”

“Me.” I pointed to myself, my eyes widened in surprise. “Wouldn’t he rather go

with

you?”

“He and I have spent oodles of time together. This could be a special trip, just the

two of you, before you leave for college.” She formed an encouraging smile.

“Sure,”

I

answered.

She gently squeezed me and then said, “Thank you, Finn. Y’all should go within

the

next

month.

He

really

needs

to

do

this.”

I wondered what she meant by that last statement. I wanted to ask her why he

needed to do it, what was the urgency, but Jesse’s car pulled up before I could

say

anything

else

to

her.

“That’s Jesse. I’ll leave you two alone to talk,” she said, letting go of me as she

got up off the swing. I watched her go back inside the house and then looked over

at

Jesse

who

was

walking

up

the

porch

steps.

He plopped down next to me. “Hey.” He sounded exhausted.

“How

did

it

go?”

I

asked.

“It was okay,” he said seriously and with a thoughtful expression.

“He’s lucky to have you.” I grabbed a hold of his hand and laced my fingers in his.

“I don’t know how much I can help.” He shrugged his broad shoulders. “This is

something he’ll have to do on his own.” His forehead wrinkled with worry.

“But

you’ll

be

there

to

support

him.”

“I will, but he’ll have to live with wanting to have a drink everyday, and I can’t

always

be

there

to

make

sure

he

doesn’t.”

“You have to see that your dad wants to stay sober as much as you want him to,”

I

pleaded.

“You didn’t grow up with him. I’ve spent the last ten years taking care of him; I

can’t allow myself to be optimistic. It’ll hurt too much if he does start drinking

again.” He stood up and placed his hands on the porch rail and gazed at the star-

filled

sky.

I got off the swing and moved next to him. “Have faith in him, Jesse,” I said,

placing

my

hand

on

his.

He turned to look down at me. “You’re really a good person, Finn. I wish I had

half your heart.” He touched my face softly and slightly smiled. I blushed and then

looked down. He put his hand to my chin and raised my head up. “I really love

you,

Finley

Hemmings.”

***

I had no idea what to pack for a trip to Graceland, so I put everything I thought I

should into one suitcase: jeans; flip flops; tennis shoes; shorts; a gamut of items

from my lackluster wardrobe. I closed the suitcase and carried it with me

downstairs. As I took it outside with me to place in Grandpa’s truck, Nana drove

into the driveway in a silver Chevrolet Camaro convertible. The top was down

and the radio was blasting oldie tunes. The wind had messed up her short hair.

Her cheeks were sun kissed. Driving closely behind her was Jesse, who parked

his

car

right

beside

the

convertible.

I let go of the suitcase, dropping it on the porch, and stalked over to the car. The

leaves crushed against my feet, crackling as I made each step. The front yard

was inundated with fallen leaves. The trees were completely bare–winter was on

its

way.

I looked at them both and then at the car in absolute disbelief. “Nana, did you buy

a

new

car?”

I

asked.

She stepped out of the car and said, “Lord no, honey. I rented this for you and

your grandfather. Y’all need to ride in style since you’re going to Graceland. That

old truck of his wouldn’t get y’all past Knoxville.” She clicked a button and opened

the trunk. “You can put your suitcase in there.” She pointed.

“It’s really nice, Finn” Jesse said, while I continued to stare at the car.

The screen door opened, and my grandfather walked out. “What the devil is that?”

he

asked

in

a

huff.

“That,” Nana said, approaching him, “is the car you and Finn are driving to

Memphis.”

He

scowled.

“We

don’t

need

a

car.

I’ve

got

a

truck.”

“Your

truck

is

as

old

as

Methuselah,

Charlie,”

she

said.

“Jesse,

you

knew

about

this?”

he

asked.

Jesse nodded confidently, smirking. He and Nana winked at each other.

“Someone had to give her a ride to the car rental place,” he said.

“Humph. It’s a bit showy for a trip to Memphis,” my grandfather said.

“Nope, not at all,” she said, refusing to budge. She touched his face lovingly, like

she

was

taming

a

lion

or

a

beast.

He pursed his lips and turned to look at the car for a moment. “Well,” he paused,

“I guess we can drive it.” He was relenting. She had the magic touch. With anyone

else, he was an old curmudgeon. With her, he was soft as a cotton-filled pillow.

“Y’all put your suitcases in the trunk. I’m going inside to get the food I packed for

your

trip.”

She

opened

the

screen

door.

Jesse carried our suitcases to the car and put them in the spacious trunk. I moved