The Ylem (18 page)

“Kal,” he finally said, clutching the
steering wheel harder. His knuckles paled. “I shouldn’t have talked
to you like that. I don’t know what got into me.” I looked at him.
“Really. I'm usually not like that.”

I chuckled.

“What?”

“I remember being in the exact same situation
a couple of days ago—only it was the other way around.”

He smiled, as if remembering my clumsy
apology that day. “Yeah. What a pair we make, huh?”

We stopped in front of my porch. The Escape
wasn’t there yet. My dad was so getting behind schedule with his
writing. I released my seatbelt and said, “Thanks for the ride,
Dean.” Before I pulled open the door, I turned back and leaned over
the seat to press a small kiss on his cheek. “And don’t worry.
Getting crazy sometimes is part of our nature.” I smiled and
reached the knob.

And froze, from head to toe.

Dean’s lips were suddenly on mine. His hand
on my cheek. I didn’t know how it’d happened, or in what moment
he’d leaned over, but his lips were there, brushing against mine. I
couldn’t think. I felt like a statue. He must have noticed my lips
were dead and unresponsive because he pulled away a moment
later.

I stared at him wide-eyed. What was I
supposed to say in a moment like this? “Um, I…see you tomorrow.” I
climbed out of the car and rushed to the house. A whirlwind of
mixed feelings turned inside of me.

“Kalista!” Dean called out and I heard the
snap of a door.

Against the shouts of my mind telling me to
run away, I brought my legs to a standstill. This wasn’t a
conversation I wanted to have. But I couldn’t leave just like that.
I turned around and spotted a white ball of fur in the middle of
the yard. It was a bunny. A beautiful blue-eyed bunny. The sight of
it was a balm to the pounding rhythm of my heart.

Dean ran to me and stopped at an arm’s
length. “I'm not going to say I'm sorry for what I did.”

“Dean…”

“In fact, I'm glad that I did.”

I paused. “You’re leaving next week.”

“Is that the real reason? Is that why you
don’t want me? Or is it because of Tristan?”

Tristan. My chest tightened. The whirlwind
inside of me melted into a stream of disappointment. And with that
feeling, came a dizzying answer. The answer I’d been looking for
all this time. My head was spinning with the realization. The
blindfold finally gone.

I liked Tristan. A lot. I was feeling a sharp
wave of disappointment because…because I would have loved having my
first kiss with him, not Dean. My lips suddenly itched with need to
touch Tristan’s mouth. My arms cried to hold him.

“I…” I shook my head, trying to hide the
stupefaction—or was it wonder—in my eyes. “I don’t want to be with
anybody right now, Dean. Really.” My breath was becoming labored.
The molten lava that was my blood running through me.

Oh my God. This can’t be happening.

“Are you okay?” Dean asked, stepping closer.
“You look like you’re about to pass out.”

“I'm…no, I mean, yeah. I don’t know,” I
sighed in exasperation.

He pulled me into his arms. “Kalista…I know
what’s happening, and, really, you don’t need to worry.”

“I don’t?” I said against the fabric of his
jacket.

“It troubles you to think you might have hurt
my feelings,” he stroked my hair. “But…it’s okay. I figured out we
weren’t on the same wagon a long time ago.”

I pulled away to look at him. “I'm sorry,
Dean.”

“Don’t,” he cupped my face and kissed the top
of my head. “We can still be friends, right?” he said with a sad
smile.

“Of course,” I said, as if there was no doubt
about it.

He gave a short nod, looked at me and strode
away.

I reached the door of the house a couple of
breaths later and stepped inside. I dropped the heavy tote on the
floor and fell against the door, surrendering to my emotions.

God, I like Tristan. Couldn’t I have chosen
a less mysterious and less puzzling and less good-looking guy?

“I'm in big, big trouble,” I sighed.
“Godzilla-big.”

I needed Dean's party. Badly.

15. THE
BEGINNING

CALEB

“We found her Gavran,” I said, coming through
the towering trees of the black forest to join the rest of the
pack. Nick was behind me. “She’s not going to be a problem tomorrow
night. She won’t be active. It’ll be easy to deal with her.” After
a few hours of listening to the Benandanti’s voice outside of her
house, we’d found out her plans for tomorrow.

“Why, in the name of Balthazar, didn’t you
inform me sooner?” Gavran told me calmly. Normally, in situations
where our ways didn’t satisfy him, he would’ve raised his voice
more than an octave, or pinned us with his black glare. But he
hadn’t done any of that, even if the look on his face told me he’d
been waiting desperately for some smoke signal from our part. The
reason? We’d brought good news, really good news, and that lessened
his displeasure greatly.

“I thought it was better to not disturb you
and let you focus on the Keeper,” I explained. “I know how
difficult it is to do both.”

“I guess you’re right,” Gavran said,
lessening the stiffness on his face. “At least it wasn’t difficult
to find the Keeper. There aren’t too many bookstores in this crappy
town.” He grinned, satisfied.

I smiled.

“What about our Benandanti?” he asked. “Was
she easy on the ear?”

“Hmph, easy? We spent hours listening to
lousy chick stuff. Believe me, it wasn’t easy,” Nick said, making a
face. “I’ve never seen or heard someone that stupid—or so
infatuated with someone. Tristan this…Tristan that. I already hate
the guy, Jesus.”

I had to agree with him. It really had been
the most boring hours we’d ever spent. The girl was extremely
annoying. I still couldn’t believe she was a Benandanti.

“Really?” Gavran arched his eyebrows. “That
makes things easier.”

“From what we heard, things will definitely
be easy,” I said, remembering her silly debate on what clothes to
wear for a party. Really, what was the difference between two
freaking jeans? “There’s going to be a party on Friday, so you can
imagine how busy her mind will be.”

“Which means she’ll be zoned out,” Nick
added.

“And therefore easy to surprise.” Gavran
laughed. “And kill.”

“Don’t you think that’s odd?” Massimo said
behind us. I turned to look at him. “She’s a Benandanti. It’s not
supposed to be easy.” he leaned against a tree.

Gavran’s eyes narrowed in thought.

“Where is everyone?” I asked him, looking
around and noticing for the first time that the others were
missing. By “the others” I meant the backup Moyset had sent us.
They’d arrived yesterday evening. But they didn’t look that
necessary now.

Gavran turned to look back at me, still
pensive. “We can’t all be together in the same place. It could draw
the humans' attention.”

I didn’t think so. We were buried deep into
the woods, too far away for a human to come in the darkness. But
come to think about it, the skies tonight weren’t black. They were
gray around the nearly full moon. Its radiance shed silver light
among the trees, enough to cast muted shadows. Maybe we did need to
be more careful. Someone might decide to take a night hike. And the
last thing we needed right now was the annoying Benandanti spotting
us, even if that seemed impossible with the stupid worries she
had.

“You’re right Massimo. Something is wrong,”
Gavran said after a moment. “If the Benandanti feels too at ease,
there must be something else here. It’s not in their nature to be
so calm.”

“Another Benandanti?” Massimo wondered.

Gavran shook his head. “No, there are never
two Benandanti at one place.”

“Maybe it’s because of the pack,” Nick
suggested, playing origami with the leaf in his hands.

“They’re just four, Nicolai.” Gavran said.
“We’ve been in places with bigger packs. It has to be something
else.”

I sighed. “Are we going to wait more time,
then? See if we can find out something?” Patience, as always,
slipped away from my hands. Being that close to our goal put me on
the edge. It burned my insides with anxiety.

Gavran paused, lost in thought and crossed
his arms over his chest. “No,” he said at last, looking at us. “We
might not have a chance like this again.” I smiled. “We’ll use the
Benandanti’s distraction to go after the Keeper. The old woman
won’t cause any trouble, but in case things turn ugly, we have
Moyset’s reinforcements with us.”

Everybody nodded.

“Caleb.” Gavran beckoned me with his eyes.
“Come here for a moment.”

I reached him, feeling my skin pucker between
my eyebrows. He never asked to speak in private. It was an unspoken
rule in the pack. Everything was open between us. Secrets built
cracks in a group, and our pack, specially, needed to stay as close
as possible for this mission. So Gavran doing this was a shock, a
thing I’d never witnessed.

“If things don’t go as planned,” Gavran
muttered, bending his head closer to have more privacy, but it was
useless since everyone’s sharp ears could catch every single word.
He’d done it out of habit, I guessed. We still had human reflexes.
“If things don't go as planned, I need you to stay away from any
struggle.”

“What?” I asked, confused.

“Trust me and do as I tell you.”

“Why? I'm the fastest here. I could—”

“Exactly,” he interrupted me. “I need you for
your speed. But mostly, I need you to witness everything.”

“I don’t understand.” I frowned. I was
supposed to be with my brothers, to fight beside them. And now I
was being asked to stay behind like a freaking coward?

“The Lord trusts you the most. He knows how
devoted you are. I need someone who’ll be his eyes here. If things
go wrong, I need you to leave as fast as your legs allow you so you
can tell him everything you’ve witnessed. And never look back, even
if that means leaving us to die. Understood?”

No
, I wanted to say, I couldn’t leave
my family behind and just ran away. No. The idea of Nick dying, or
the others, was unbearable. Awful.

“Caleb, it’s an order,” Gavran snapped.

Damnit
. “Yes,” I nodded, gritting my
teeth. “I’ll stay behind.”

“Good.” He gave me a short nod and turned
away. “Tomorrow will be the day, my brothers,” he told them,
sitting down on a big twisted root that snaked out from the ground.
“Be ready. We won’t leave until we have what we came for.”

Everyone’s eyes were on me, scanning my face,
no doubt mulling over what Gavran had said to me. I looked at Nick.
He seemed disappointed and sad and worried. We both knew what this
could mean, and I only hoped nothing would turn out bad tomorrow,
or the day after if we didn’t find the book. I needed my family and
my best friend. I couldn’t lose them.

“The Ylem will finally be ours.” Gavran said,
his voice flaring as a fire against the dark sky of the forest.

16. SCORNFUL
LOOKS

KALISTA

Valerie’s food tray slammed onto the table.
“Did you say you like him?” she asked, gaping at me with her mouth
wide open.

Several people turned our way. If I hadn’t
promised to tell her about this, I wouldn’t have told her
anything
. “Keep quiet,” I hissed.

She sat down, putting her elbows on the table
and crossing her fingers in a self-righteous manner. “I told
you.”

“Yes, you did,” I agreed, boosting her
self-satisfaction.

Dean and Owen had another tedious football
meeting, something about an important game to qualify for who knows
what, which left doors open for some girl talk. “What else? How did
it happen?”she insisted, shoving some mashed potato into her
mouth.

“How did what happened?”

“You know…you finding out he made you feel
all warm and fuzzy inside,” she said, taking a quick sip of her
pink lemonade.

“I just…did,” I shrugged.

“Nah-uh,” she shook her head. “You’re way too
stubborn when it comes to your feelings. Something mayor must’ve
triggered it.”

I sighed. Didn’t she lose anything?

“So?” she asked, getting excited again.

“Well…Dean kissed me and—”

“He
what
?” She slapped the table,
making her plate jump again. “Oh my God. He finally did it.” She
grinned, amazed.

“I don’t think that’s something to smile
about.”

“Oh come on. It couldn’t have been that bad.
From what I’ve heard, Dean is a great kisser. You must’ve enjoyed
it, at least a bit.”

“That’s the thing, I didn’t. I mean…I froze.
And when I stormed out of the car…it all came down on me
because—”

“You wished Tristan would’ve been the one to
kiss you.”

“I…yeah.” I blushed.

She crossed her arms on the table and bent
forward. “Kalista, by the way he was looking at you at the
auditorium yesterday, you don’t need to wish for anything. He’s
dying to be with you.” She smiled. “I bet that if you’d let him, he
would run to you in a heartbeat.”

I rolled my eyes. “No, he doesn’t and no, he
wouldn’t.” Valerie’s stubbornness was impossible. A kid was more
rational than her. “Besides, you’re forgetting he said what a crazy
idea it was proposing to be friends.”

“Guys have pride, Kalista. You pushed him
away. What was he supposed to say?”

Tristan’s words had sounded serious, not
something he’d said out of pride. And there’d been sadness there as
well.

“Face it.” She bent closer and whispered, “He
likes you. A lot.”

“He doesn’t,” I insisted, though a faint
trace of doubt colored my voice.

She shook her head and focused again on her
food. I seized my fork and twirled it around the pool of mashed
potato, drifting with my thoughts. I wasn’t the only one who held
his interest. There was Chloe, too. They talked once in a while.
Even the twins talked to her, something they didn’t do with me. So,
why not assume Tristan liked her a lot, too? There was definitely
something going on there.