The Ylem (29 page)

“Everything okay?” he asked, his voice close
to my face.

“Fine,” I said, timidly. “Are you okay?”

“Absolutely.”

“If you get too tired, please tell me.”

He chuckled. “Why would I get tired?”

“Well, you’re holding my whole weight in your
arms.”

“And?”

“You’ll get tired at some point.”

He laughed. “I don’t think so.”

Yeah. I’d forgotten I was talking to someone
with super-strength and super everything. “Is it too far?” I said,
silently hoping our journey would take longer. I was pretty
comfortable where I was.

“No,” he answered, his feet coming to a halt.
“This is the place.” He said, putting me down gently. The surface
underneath my feet wasn’t solid. My shoes sank into something soft,
like new fallen snow. But it wasn’t cold, and it felt denser. I
took a step forward, trying to see if I could sense something
different—a sound. Nothing. My shoe only sank deeper into the
mysterious material.

“Can I look now?” I said impatiently.

“Sure,” he said, untying the fabric and
removing it from my eyes. A light wind stroked my eyelids and I
opened my eyes. I gasped. It was the landscape of a different
planet, of a dream. Before me was the most spectacular and mystical
place I’d ever seen in my entire life. A glimmering sea of white
dunes with shining silver grains stretched out all around. The
breeze blowing through the sand created powdery shades, melting
into the dark moonlit sky like gauzy veils.

It looked as if the moon was casting a spell
upon miles and miles of silent waves and we were the witnesses in
the midst of the magical fusion.

“Wonderful, isn’t it?” Tristan murmured.

I turned to look at him, awed.
“Otherworldly.” He smiled, staring at the white enchanted desert.
“It’s like the outside world doesn’t exist.” I sighed, wishing this
feeling could last forever. “What’s the name of this place?”

“White Sands,” he said. “We’re in the
Tularosa Basin, which is actually larger than Delaware and a couple
of Rhode Islands.”

“Wow,” I uttered and bent down to touch the
sand. “Why is it like this?” I watched the glittering sand falling
from my hand like a cascade of star dust. It felt like powder
seeping through my fingers.

He bent down in front of me. “The Tularosa
Basin contains the largest gypsum deposit on earth. The mineral
erodes from the mountains and settles here to form crystals. Then
these gypsum deposits are blown by the wind to form these white
sand dunes.” He touched the powdery sand.

“Gypsum Dunes,” I corrected.

He smiled, taking my breath away. He blended
perfectly with the surreal beauty surrounding us. Having Tristan
with me in this magical place had been by far the best surprise
someone had ever given me. “Thank you, Tristan,” I said, looking
into his stunning eyes.

He stared at me and my heart raced in my
chest. “I'm glad you liked it. But it’s not over,” he added, as if
he'd suddenly remembered something.

I frowned. “There’s more?”

He pulled out from his pocket a dark velvety
bag with two golden drawstrings. “This is for you,” he said,
handing it to me. It felt a bit heavy in my hand. “A birthday gift.
I hope you like it. It made me think of you.”

My eyes widened. “Of me?”

He nodded. “It’s only a small detail.”

Small? It was huge. Even if it was a bare
rock with dirt stuck to it, I would take it as the most precious
gem in the world. I opened the bag nervously and pulled out a
lovely hexagonal crystal beaming a beautiful light. It was delicate
and pristine. A thin purple ribbon was pierced through one of the
facets.

“It’s a crystal prism from Austria,” he
explained. “When you hang it above a sunlit window, it creates
beautiful rainbows. It is said they reflect positive energy
outward, giving a feeling of harmony and completion.”

“It’s beautiful, Tristan,” I said, twisting
the faceted prism in my hands. It was the most perfect gift. “But
why did it make you think of me?” I looked at him.

“I remembered the look in your face when you
were staring at those water crystal pictures. So I wanted to find
something similar to give you and…thought of this.” He pointed to
the crystal with his eyes. “Its meaning struck me because”—he
looked at me—“it’s the same thing you mean to me.”

I gulped. “What…what am I to you?”

He stared at me for a long moment, looking at
me for what seemed to be ages. His face was stricken with
hesitation, as if thousands of heavy thoughts were swirling in his
mind. His eyes, though, burned with a mysterious truth, full of
certainty. He took a deep breath and let it go. “You’re like a
prism that…mirrors joy and harmony to my life,” he answered. My
heart stopped. “When I'm with you, I feel whole, as if there's
nothing missing. And every single second you’re away…it’s...”

I gaped, speechless, not believing my
ears.

“I'm sorry. This must be shocking for
you.”

I still couldn’t speak.

Breathe.

“But you need to know that I did try to not
get involved, to stay away from you,” he said in a remorseful tone.
“I knew it was not possible for me to feel for a human, that my
world couldn’t mingle with yours.” He stood up looking away. “But I
was being pulled to you like a magnet with no escape. And seeing
you angry at me was….” He didn’t finish again. “I know I only
entangled things more and I know I need to undo this confusing
mess...” He smiled without meaning to.

I closed my mouth and stared at him. It was
as if somebody had given me a winning lottery ticket only to take
it away from me a few seconds later. I felt devastated—but
perplexed and blissful at the same time.

What to do now? Sit here frozen-stiff like an
ice sculpture? This was the moment to open my heart and speak with
the truth. If I was the one always asking for it, I should give it
as well. I needed to open up, even if the fearful memories of
Steve’s rejection pushed me back. But I knew if I didn’t, it would
be something I would regret for the rest of my life.

I got up to my feet, clutching the crystal in
my hand, somehow hoping it would give a bit of harmony to my winged
heart. “Tristan,” I rushed to his side. He turned to look at me.
“What if I don’t want you to…undo things?”

He stared at me, waiting for an
explanation.

I sighed heavily. “I know things can’t go
further between us, and I'm aware of the complications surrounding
this whole mess but...I can’t change the way I feel about you
either.” I looked at him straight in the eyes.

The frown on his face disappeared. “What?” he
said, startled, as if he’d been thrown off balance.

Weren’t my feelings for him more than clear?
Every pore of my skin desired his warmth. I couldn’t hide it.
“Tristan…I…I want to be with you,” I said quietly.

He sighed, brushing his hand through his
beautiful hair. “I…this complicates things.”

“Why?”

He looked at me. “Because now there’s too
much involvement. Not only from me but from you as well,” he said.
His face was hard, but his eyes sparkled with bliss. “It makes
everything even harder than before. It’s easier to leave when you
know you’ll be the only one who’s going to suffer. But knowing the
other person wants you, too, is really frustrating. Even more when
you know you could’ve had something you desire,” he whispered, as
if he hadn’t meant to be heard.

“Desire?”

He drew near me. “You,” he told me, sending
my heart to the moon.

My mind struggled to believe his words. It
seemed like a dream.

Listen to your heart Kalista, believe.
Believe him. Take your chance.

I took a step closer. “If we both really wish
to be together, why don’t we forget everything?” I suggested
shyly.

“I can’t,” he said, pained. “It’s not so
simple.”

I didn’t care. A meteor could be falling and
I could not care less. I just wanted to be with him. I took another
step, shrinking the space between us. “Nothing is simple,” I said
with his burning eyes on mine. “But some things are worth the
effort.”

“Not in this case,” he said flatly, the
conviction in his voice iron-stiff. “There are no options.”

I lowered my eyes, shoving the crystal down
the tight pocket of my jeans. “Yeah…I should’ve guessed I'm not
worth the effort.” If Stephen hadn’t given me a chance, why would a
person like him do it?

He moved towards me, his body a few inches
from mine. “Kalista,” he whispered, placing his hand under my chin
and lifting it, forcing me to look at him. “I thought I’d been
clear when I explained what you meant to me.”

I shook my head in disbelief. For some
reason, I couldn’t believe him. I just couldn’t. Guys weren’t to be
trusted. And him…I just didn’t know yet.

“Deep down inside, I always knew where all of
this was going to get me,” he said, trying to catch my eyes. “And
it did.”

My breath stopped. I dragged my eyes slowly
to meet his, every nerve in my body about to explode. He removed
his hand from my chin and placed both hands in mine. He looked down
at them. “But being with you can only remain as a wish. It took
centuries for men to forget the past and allow us to live in
society. I can't risk what Shifters have cautiously built for one
self-seeking need. I’ve already done things I shouldn’t, and I
can’t carry on with them anymore. The Covenant can’t be broken,
Kalista. Do you understand?” He said it as if he was trying to
convince himself.

I stared at him. The despair in his eyes was
burning like a fire, and I finally understood. His world, a hidden
world living on the edges of humankind, needed us to stay away from
each other for its survival. It wasn’t just between Tristan and me,
it was between all the Shifters and us, between two worlds standing
on a thin line because two hearts were suddenly in sync. He
couldn’t sacrifice his world and all the centuries it’d taken to
build it just to be with me. Yes. How I understood him now and how
badly I didn’t want to.

“Could I please ask you something?” I
struggled through the pain in my throat.

He paused for a moment, looking deeply into
my eyes. “Anything,” he said in a small voice.

I paused. “Let’s just enjoy this moment by
being ourselves. Just this once.”

He eyed me thoughtfully, weighing the
inconveniences of my proposal. And something must’ve won in his
mind because he stroked my cheek tenderly a few heartbeats
later.

I smiled, taking that as a yes, and pushed my
body against his to hug him. He stiffened, surprised by my
unexpected gesture. But little by little, heartbeat by heartbeat,
he relaxed his body and wrapped his arms around me. He sank his
face in my hair and pulled me tighter against his body. I stretched
up and wrapped my arms around his neck, feeling the echo of my own
heartbeat in his chest. I closed my eyes. The hug wasn’t a friendly
gesture anymore. An edge of tension surrounded it.

We stayed like this for what seemed like
forever, until Tristan placed his hands on my waist and pushed me
back a little to see my face. I opened my eyes, my heart pumping
faster at the closeness of his face. He took one hand and laid it
on my face, holding our gaze together. I could see determination
and doubt wrestling in his eyes. I moved my face forward, until
there was just an inch between the tips of our noses. We were so
close, so close. He tilted his head to one side, paused for a
heart-stopping second, and then, breathtakingly, put his soft lips
on mine, sealing the space between us. My breath faded out.
Butterflies blossomed in my stomach, flapping their wings like
those of a hummingbird. My heart swelled with joy, bliss, and I
felt as if my body floated.

He pulled back slowly, placing his soft, soft
lips a few inches away. It took me a while to collect myself again.
“That was…” I sighed, my head spinning.

He caressed my face with the whisper of his
fingertip. “I’ve been dying to kiss you.”

Surely I'd been still in a daze because I
said without hesitation, “I’ll die if you don’t kiss me again.”

His mouth quirked up, with that extremely
alluring style of his, and he kissed me once more without
hesitating. Only this time, his lips moved gently against mine,
brushing them apart with the silkiness of a rose petal. His warm
breath merged with mine as one. It was like kissing heaven’s doors,
straight to the paradise. My bones melted, but Tristan caught me by
the waist, pressing me tighter against his body. Safely locked in
his hands, I wrapped my arms tighter around his neck and pulled his
face closer to mine, burying our noses in the hot skin of our
cheeks. The kiss became stronger, deep, so deep. I wasn’t breathing
anymore. I was only focused on kissing and kissing, intoxicated by
his lips.

This brand new pleasure was hard to
believe.

He stopped, resting his forehead on mine.
“Kalista…” he sighed, cupping one side of my face. We remained like
that, close to each other, waiting for our bated breaths to steady
for countless minutes, our lips warm and puffy from our kiss.

He looked at me. “Your lips taste better than
I’d imagined, like cherry,” he said, brushing his thumb over my
bottom lip.

He imagined our kiss
. “That’s because
of my cherry chapstick,” I smiled.

He pulled me closer, looking down at my lips.
“I doubt it,” he whispered in a low voice. Then, his amazing smile
curled his lips and I knew I had to fight for balance.

“I want to show you something.”

“Show me something?”

His smile turned wicked. He turned around
and, without a warning, disappeared in a puff of air. Just like
that. A light mist of powdery sand floated where he’d been
standing, the gypsum particles sparkling under the moonlight.

What the..
.

“Tristan?” I called out, my eyes wide,
searching the sea of glimmering dunes. “Tristan!” But he was
nowhere to be seen. The full moon glowing in the black skies shed
light on the rippled mantles of sand, but not enough for my eyes to
see faraway. And Tristan’s dark clothes didn’t help either. He
could blend into the darkness easily.