The Zombie Plagues Dead Road: The Collected books. (151 page)

Today Bob, Tim and Josh are out working
out some sort of harness system to use the oxen to pull the
harvester. That would really save us a lot of time. It is not huge,
but it isn't small either. It's designed to offload onto a wagon
that runs beside it. The flat wagon we have won't do so they are
going to build a couple of new wagons using parts from the
trucks.

One of the things they bought back was
a welder. Tim says it will run from a generator until he can get
the rest of the work done on the power house.

Jessie Stone was talking last night
about the second valley and what lies beyond it. I think if she can
convince some of her people to go with her she will go and find
out. Maybe even before winter, although I would have to try to talk
her out of that. There isn't enough time. Or is there? I have
wondered as have the others, when winter will come. It was
certainly cut short this past year, so maybe it will be late
arriving this fall? Wait and see, I guess.

But I don't think Jessie will stay
here... Because of Mike? Maybe, but maybe also because of me, maybe
both. I don't know, but my feeling is she won't stay. I don't know
what to feel about that. How I should feel, except I can't share
that part of my life. Not with her. I can't.

I have Mike. I have Amy. In some ways I
am as close to Amy as I am Mike. It is not sexual, it is something
else. I couldn't even explain it if I had to. And between the two
of us there is nothing to explain. We understand it perfectly well.
It just is. Thinking of that made me think that maybe it could be
that way between Mike and Jessie, but I don't think it can. And
even if it could I don't think I could deal with it. I couldn't,
and I don't want to deal with trying to or feeling guilt about it
either. Maybe I'm not as open minded as I thought I was. Maybe,
inside, I still need too much for me.

Things we know:

The outside world is breaking down
faster. There are groups, gangs really, of people fighting for
control. Some places already belong to the dead. Mike says you can
tell as soon as you get close. You can smell them on the air. You
can see the desolation. He and Ronnie both think that the dead are
getting smarter too. Crazy as that sounds.

As for humankind, us, the living, we
are killing each other faster than the dead could ever hope to.
People seem caught in the middle of this craziness. There is no
law, but their own. If you can kill the dead how long is it until
your mind convinces you that it is just as easy, just as right, to
kill the living too? People are people, right?

It's later. The sun is up and I spent a
little time talking to Amy. Just sitting on the ledge and watching
the sun come up across the valley.

I guess there will be some sort of
winter here. This morning the air was cooler than it has been. Not
a lot, but enough to notice it. And then Amy pointed out that the
trees higher in the mountains above the ridge have begun to change
already. I hadn't even noticed until then.

Back when this first happened the sun
seemed to wander all over the sky. We weren’t sure whether it would
ever become normal, something we could depend on, but like
everything else it has changed too, and it is fairly normal once
more, just different, it rises in the South and sets in the North.
The days average out to about twenty-six hours, and are becoming
more and more consistent. It used to rise in the East and set in
the West and the days were only about twenty-four hours long then.
It seems like another permanent change.

I guess I had better get myself moving
if I intend to explore these caves with the others...

~

Mikes Journal

I have neglected this for a while now.
I have excuses, but I guess I'll save them. In a few months I will
be able to see both of you in person. Hold you, and that reminded
me what this journal is all about.

Will you read it? The two
of you? Our other children? I know I would. Maybe there is
something here that will help you. But then maybe you don't need
any help. Maybe having lived without the things we were forced to
live with,
through
, will keep you from the doubts that we have. I hope that
future is good. Solid. A good society, because really that is what
we are doing here, building a new society.

I spent today with Bob, Tom, Josh and
Shar. Tim and Annie came along later on too. Tim is something. He
spent the better part of the morning working out a way to hook oxen
up to the harvester, and then drew it out and showed Bob and Josh
how it would work. They saw it immediately, but their heads work
that way. Mine doesn't so much. Ronnie says that doesn't matter. I
am like the glue that makes it all work: I don't know about that,
but as long as I am necessary. Sometimes I'm not sure. I mean
before this I sat at a desk. I lead no one.

I did learn a few things today. Oxen
are not a breed of animals, they are bulls, castrated young and
then trained. Makes them get larger. And, you can do just as much
with horses and oxen as you can do with tractors. I had no idea,
and yes, I know how stupid that sounds, I just never thought of
it.

We have to build two new wagons for the
harvester. We need them lower than the one we have, and narrower
too. They are already working on it with long straight pieces of
lumber and axles from the trucks. They'll have one done in no time:
Once they have one they'll build a second in no time. It is amazing
how much talent and ability there is here. They have put off
harvesting the wheat until they have both wagons built.

Candace, Amy and a few others are going
to do more cave exploring tomorrow. They spent most of today
getting ready: Lanterns, rope. They had an idea they would just set
out exploring the system, but Bob put a stop to that. It would be
so easy to get lost. So they are going to go slowly and map things
out as they go. That seems like something I should have thought of
and it never even entered my mind. But I guess that is what a
community does, everybody does their best, chips in, helps. It
works, at least here it works.

Most of the passageways appear to have
been used before. Like this whole section of caves was used by
others for decades, maybe even several centuries back in
time.

I saw Jess today. I don't know why I
should feel guilty about it, but I do. First because she managed to
get me alone when I had come back to the horse barn for some
leather that Tom needed. And second because she kissed me and it
made me respond. Nothing happened, but I also didn't tell Candace
about it and I should have. But by the time I realized I should
have it was too late to do it. She would have wondered why it took
me so long to tell her. Why is it this woman can pull something
like that out of me when I don't even want her to?

~

Amy's Journal

Ronnie is home and it is so good. I
spend so much time trying to be the strong one that I sometimes
forget that I'm not really that strong. With Ronnie I let him be
the strong one. He likes the role. He understands it. He is pure
man. It works. I don't know if it could work any other way with him
in fact. But it doesn't matter to me because I am fine with
that.

With Candace and I, it works both ways.
Sometimes I am strong and sometimes it is her. But no matter. We
carry or are carried as it needs to be. I have never had a
relationship with another woman the way I have with her. Sometimes
I think the love I have for her is the same as the love I have for
Ronnie. Sometimes it feels like that is a lie though, and I could
never feel the way I feel about her for anyone else. Other times I
am sure I could never give up either of them. I think it is the
same for her.

We are not together like Ronnie and I
are together. It is not a sexual relationship like that. It is
something else. Something that no one, but she can fill. A need, I
guess. But they say we change as we grow, and don't we? Is what I
have right now all that I will ever need or want from her? All I
know is that I would not be able to give her up for any reason at
all. And if it went there? I would go there too.

Tomorrow we'll do the big exploration.
We had no idea how to go about it so we spent a whole day getting
ready for it. It seems like it was a day that everyone spent
getting ready to do other things. No climbing. No serious exertion.
The law has been laid down to us. Truthfully, I am a big
chickenshit when it comes to closed in, dark spaces, but Candace
wants to do it so I'm in. And it will probably be exciting
too.

Sandy, Susan, Steve and Joe are taking
over another area of the cave for medicine stuff. I thought, Why
not Jess Stone too? No reason why, but she isn't in it. I guess she
is staying out of it for a reason. I know something happened
between her and Mike. Candace knows, but she doesn't seem to be too
worried. Hopefully whatever it was is passed.

THREE

September 30th year one

“
So you're going with
Ronnie and Bob to cut hay all day long?” Candace asked.

“
And Shar... She's with
Josh now, but we're not going to cut hay. That machine will do that
too, but we're going to use it so it strips out the seed. It strips
out the seed and then drops the stem back down. We'll leave that
for a few days and then come back and get it when it's
dry.”

“
I don't get it, Baby. You
completely lost me. Why not take it all?”

“
Because this is for us,”
he smiled and kissed her lightly. “We only want the grain. We'll
get a little of the stem too, but we'll take care of that as we put
it up. The stem that drops down becomes hay. It still has protein
value just not as much as the seeds have. Good for the horses and
cows.” He kissed her once more. “We'll harvest that in a week or so
once it dries out.” He smiled.

Candace tilted her head to one side.
“So if you explain it to me you have to kiss me to make it work out
in your head?” She smiled back at him.

“
It helps,” Mike agreed. He
kissed her once more.

“
Okay. That last kiss
helped to clarify it. You'll take the seed from this, leave the
rest on the ground. Now the other stuff you harvest you'll cut the
whole thing, stem and seed for the winter supply for the animals,
that isn't for us.” She stood on tip toe and kissed him fully on
the lips.

“
You got it,” Mike said.
“Hey, I think you're a lot smarter than you appear, and you're just
stringing me along, passing out kisses to inspire thought, but you
already have it figured out completely.” He stepped closer and
peered intently down into her eyes.

“
You are a bright one,
Baby.” She giggled, pecked his cheek and stepped back. “If you
don't go I'm going to take you back into the bedroom. I seem to be
very forgetful this morning. And if that happens the grain doesn't
get done and the girls will be here looking for me to explore those
caves.” She pulled a fake frown and then giggled again. Mike pulled
her close and kissed the top of her head.

“
So, really, w can eat this
grain you guys are cutting today?” She stared up into his eyes her
serious look back on her face.

“
Bob said so. This is wild
wheat, rye, it grows everywhere. It isn't the highest protein
value, the stuff we planted is though. This is what we'll make due
with until our own is in and we harvest it. This can be used for
anything that grain is used for. Flour, our main use for it... But
cereals are grain too, it can be used in a lot of ways. We'll mix
it all together. Next year we'll have our own crops, much higher
yield, Bob says.”

“
But we could use the
fields just as they are,” Candace asked.

“
Of course,” Mike
agreed.

“
So-don't you dare think
I'm dumb-but why are we planting the wheat if we have fields of
wheat. How much different could the seeds be?”

“
Much different... It's the
protein value, Babe. You, and I'm making up numbers here, Bob knows
the real ones, but it's like, say two percent protein in a wild
seed and five percent in a genetically altered seed. See, we have
altered all the seed we use for crops, I mean the sellers in the
old days did. They figured out ways to get higher yields, more
protein, bigger seed heads, like that. It's the same with virtually
every crop.”

She nodded thoughtfully.

“
Why so curious?” he
asked.

She frowned. “Okay... A little talk
about genetically altered seed, food stuffs maybe being the cause
of all of this... I was just wondering,” She seemed
embarrassed.

“
Ah, the talk around the
campfire? One of the new people?”

“
Jessie's...
Joe?
Not trying to throw an opinion out there, but he
just bought it up.” Candace told him. “Probably nothing, right?”
She edged closer again and wrapped her hands around his
waist.

“
Not a problem at all. Bob
and I discussed that. The seed we got was fine... You remember
hearing planes fly over Old Towne, back then?” Mike
asked.

“
No I... I'm not sure,”
Candace admitted.

“
They sprayed something.
That's what we think... Steve Choi? He thought he saw something
like that. Bear did to. I saw it, wasn't sure, but Bear saw them
spray Central Park... It was something in that.” He stepped close
and kissed her. “Okay?”