Authors: Christin Lovell
—
Chapter Thirty-One
JEREMIAH
She hadn’t said my name in so long. My heart skipped a beat. My wolf rose up, his breath held by hope.
I was on alert, all of me perked up. I didn’t move closer, afraid of spooking her. “Yeah, sweetie?”
She bit her lip hard. She looked so fragile and frightened. Killing the fucker hadn’t been enough for me. I should have tortured the shit out of him first, cut off his dick, something more! He’d gotten off easy in comparison to my mate. Most of her physical wounds had healed, but she wasn’t the same.
If I’d only found her sooner this wouldn’t have happened. If Ellie and I had called out just one more day.
Rage still bubbled and boiled inside me.
“
I…”
My heart swelled as she stood up. My breathing slowed as she hesitantly approached me. She seemed so uncertain of herself and me. I didn’t know what hurt me more.
She extended her arms and retreated a few times. It took every ounce of control I had not to throw my arms around her. She was disheveled. Her hair was a mess, her eyes and nose red. Her shirt hung off her, as did the oversized sweatpants. She’d lost weight. She looked frazzled and frayed yet she was still beautiful as ever to me.
She sighed, more tears escaping. I wanted to kiss each one away.
I physically ached; it hurt to be so close yet have to stay away. I wanted to comfort her too. I’d never envied Ellie so much.
Abruptly, she threw herself at me. Her arms flew around me, grabbing at me desperately.
My wolf howled in anguish.
I enfolded her in my arms, squeezing her as tight as possible. Every one of my muscles relaxed around her, like an overdue homecoming.
I rubbed my nose in her hair, breathing her in, relishing the feel of her. There had been moments I was sure I’d lost her forever.
Shit.
I’d almost lost her. The weight of that revelation pounded in my chest. “I’m here, sweetie. I’ll never leave until you tell me too.”
She shuddered in my arms, tiny sobs wracking her. Her tears wet my shirt. “I’m sorry, Jer. I’m so sorry.”
“
Shh.” My throat tightened. Her pain was palpable. It swaddled me; wrapped my soul in her agony.
It seemed like hours that I stood there holding her. I was content to hold her like this forever, as was my wolf. So long as she was in our arms, she was safe.
Ellie came downstairs, her hair wet from her shower. “Finally,” she mumbled. “Be careful with her, Jer.” She was as relieved and worried as I was.
I met her gaze. “I’m not trying to upset her.”
Her voice was tender. “I know.”
Kate lifted her head when Ellie brushed a kiss on her head. She grabbed Ellie’s arm, keeping her close. “Thank you for being here for me.”
“
I’ll always be here, babe.”
Kate’s gaze flickered to Ellie’s lips. She closed the distance, doing to El what I wished she’d do to me for an entire week.
Ellie let Kate lead. She’d been more kind and considerate lately than I’d ever known my beta to be.
Kate broke away as another soft sob escaped. She dug her teeth into her lip to gain control. Her breath quivered as she closed her eyes. Her brows furrowed until all of her seemed to relax into a tiny sigh. When she opened her eyes, she released me and gripped Ellie’s hands. She kissed her once more. “This last week I’ve needed you, and you’ve been there. But now, now I need Jerry. I’m not trying to close you off, but can I have some private time with him? Please.”
El’s eyes narrowed on me in a flash. She pursed her lips, watching me with interest. I knew her mind was wondering. A moment later she returned her attention back to Kate. “Of course, but I’m not leaving. I’ll be downstairs.”
Kate nodded her head in agreement. “Thanks.” Her voice was whisper soft. She laid one last kiss on Ellie’s lips before letting go of her.
I could tell El wasn’t happy, but she loved Kate enough to give her pretty much anything she asked, especially after this past week.
Kate’s brows knit together again as she looked up at me.
All I wanted was to erase the sadness from her depths, even if only temporarily.
She held out a hand. It shook noticeably.
I placed my hand in hers and let her lead me upstairs. Habitually she started towards El’s room, but turned back and entered mine. She gently shut the door behind us.
She didn’t immediately face me. Her head was tilted down, her gaze to the floor. She sniffed lightly, but it was enough of a sign to tell me she was crying again, quietly.
My heart broke again and again for her, and yet again when she finally looked at me. Her chin trembled, her lips mashed together as tears tumbled down her cheeks. “I need you, Jer. I need you to help me forget about him, about his…his…” She shuddered, grimacing. “Help me forget his…taste.” She winced.
I knew she was remembering. I would do anything to help her forget him.
My wolf roared as determination raced through us. I couldn’t save her before, but I would do all I could to save her now. I suppressed the fury that flared. I didn’t know if I would ever forgive myself for not being faster.
I gathered her in my arms. “Anything, sweetie. Whatever you want.”
She curled into me. “I want to try. Take him away, Jer. Please.”
My wolf surged, ready to rescue her with me.
I captured her lips, ensuring I wasn’t too aggressive. She wouldn’t tell us the extent of what happened. She’d filled out a police report yesterday, but she didn’t give us the opportunity to read it. I would though. I wanted to know what scared her so I could help her avoid new triggers for fresh wounds.
She melted into me, giving herself over to me. It felt so good to have her in my arms again.
I lifted her, wrapping her legs around my waist. I carried her to the bed and laid her out. Slowly I undressed her, revealing her every curve and swell. She was more than two handfuls everywhere a woman ought to be.
She shivered as I stared openly at her beauty. I could tell she was struggling to be brave, to not cover herself.
I chucked my clothes. I slowed my approach this time, stalking up the bed carefully.
Once again tears glossed her eyes. Her tears were a knife to my heart every damned time.
I kissed her cheeks, wiping them away. “We don’t have to do anything.”
“
I want to. I want to make it better. I want the wall between us torn down.” There was a tinge of desperation in her tone. She grabbed my arms and leaned up to kiss me.
I lowered my body down over hers, waiting for her reaction. Her soft, pliable warmth was like a gentle hand stroking my cock, driving my need for her higher.
She arched her back, pressing her hardened nipples to my chest.
I took the beginnings of her arousal as a good sign. I kissed a path down to taste one peak.
She moaned, her fingers threading my short hair, molding to my head. She held me to her. I could break away at any moment, but for the first time in a week, her sadness began to fade beneath a cloud of heady pleasure.
I switched breasts, laving my tongue teasingly over her sensitive bud. Her arousal doubled, tingling my nostrils and enticing my wolf. He’d been the only one able to get close to her, but he could only offer so much comfort.
She began to wiggle beneath me. Her legs spread wider, inviting me.
I blazed a trail south. Hooking my arms around her hips, I spread her open, kissing along her inner thighs. She dwindled me to an overzealous submissive. I loved her and would always do anything for her, no matter how anti-alpha that made me.
I teased her. I wanted her over stimulated, too overwhelmed with good sensations to think about a dead asshole.
I sank into her. My mouth closed over her sweet center. Her taste exploded on my tongue, sending my wolf into a frenzy.
She climbed higher and higher, her hips pressing harder and harder against me. “Oh, God, Jer.” She whimpered, sending my wolf flying towards the surface. That sound tightened both of our groins.
Her breath hitched and then she was fluttering beneath me. I loved watching her come. It beat any fucking sunset.
She immediately tugged me up to claim my mouth. What started chaotic slowed to a kindle. Her body gradually stiffened. She pulled back. Trepidation met my gaze, yet she spoke with sincerity. “I want to try.”
I frowned. I didn’t like it. It was too soon in my opinion, but who was I to limit her? “You don’t need to.”
She stared earnestly at me. “I want to.”
My stomach knotted. I felt like a virgin all over again, full of hope and fear. I grazed her lips with mine. “I don’t expect anything.” She would never owe me.
—
Chapter Thirty-Two
KATE
It was one of the things I treasured about Jerry: he gave freely. He had a stern alpha exterior, but inside he was teddy bears and gold. It made it easy for me to love him.
The same with Ellie. She had a rough and tough I-got-shit-to-prove shell, but if you got past the superficial, you found someone you couldn’t help but love.
I knew I loved them. They’re the reason I stayed behind. Now I just needed to find out if I could stay forever.
“
Please, Jer.”
He seemed torn for a bit, but eventually gave in. He rolled onto his back, hauling me with him. He caught me atop him. “Don’t push yourself, sweetie.”
“
Says the man who does exactly that every day to himself.”
His lips curled just enough to charm me. “Not every day.”
I swallowed hard, savoring his smile, his handsome features, before I slid down him. My throat tightened as I stared at the juncture between his thighs. Dark curls framed his thick, stiff shaft. That was another difference. Donovan shaved whereas Jerry was all macho wild man. Jerry’s cock curved seductively whereas Donovan’s had been straight as a ruler and unsightly.
I dropped down. I drew my nose along him, trying to convince myself further that they weren’t the same.
He held deathly still, not pushing or pulling. He was neutral, neither encouraging nor discouraging me. He was all I needed him to be then.
I closed my eyes and swiped my tongue along the base of him. His musky, clean taste was like velvet on my tongue. His flesh was silky despite his erection. Donovan’s had been rigid, especially with-
No! Focus on now, Kate.
Now.
I tickled the underside of him with my tongue. I smiled, my shoulders relaxing finally when my stomach stayed, unshaken. The only desire I had was to taste more, experience more of him.
I sucked the head of him, savoring his flavor, relishing the fact that my body knew the difference between them.
He fought to submit; his expression seemed to twist further and further with each stroke of my mouth.
Relief swelled in my chest as I sunk down on him.
He hissed, still trying for my sake to remain motionless.
I suddenly wanted to mess him up. I wanted him groveling. I’d deprived him for a whole week in fear, fear that turned out to be nothing more than an overactive imagination driven by what-ifs, possibilities rather than facts.
It was normal for someone to shy away from the same sex as their attacker immediately following the event, or so Ellie and Becca explained. It didn’t mean it was a permanent reaction though.
Focusing on Jerry, I sucked, licked and teased him joyfully.
Abruptly he hauled me up him and stole my breath. His breathing was harsh, his nostrils flaring. His mouth was aggressive in its pursuit. His tongue thrust past my lips as anxiously as his hands grabbed at my curves. He pawed every rounded edge, feverishly gripping as much of me as he could.