Then Comes Marriage (23 page)

Not as messed up as mine
. “Now I want to hear your version.”
 

“My version…let’s see…” We move along the trail. “In all seriousness, I assume it has something to do with your job. All that death and violence has to wear on you. And I’m sure whatever I think of as the worst thing you’ve seen can’t come close to it. So, I’m not going to ask for you to tell me what’s going on up there.” She reaches out, gingerly tapping my head. “But if you do want to talk, I’m a good listener.”
 

Her words hit me hard and the truth threatens to come out. Maybe I should tell her. I’ve spent the last year mad at the world, hating myself for someone else’s wrongdoing, putting the blame on my own shoulders. I don’t want to be angry anymore. I don’t want to exhaust myself day in and day out trying to convince myself that I’m better off on my own.
 

I. Am. Tired.
 

And she has no idea how much I need this—need her. How good it feels to be me again. I almost forgot what it feels like to be happy. It was only when she pulled me away that I realized I was teetering right on the edge of shutting out the world for good. She walked into my life at the right time, when I needed it most.
 

The need to tell her that burns on my tongue. And this lust and loneliness-driven crazy friendship we’re forming doesn’t need to end when our vacations end. We don’t have to be serious.
 

But we have to be something. Because there is no denying
something
is going on between us, something more than a rebound. Call me crazy but this isn’t something I’m going to just give up. What I regret most are the things I didn’t do. The lost chances. The “what ifs”. I don’t want to think of her and wonder what could have been.
 

Voices and footfalls come from behind us, and Rachel and I sidestep off the path to allow the family group to pass.
 

“Well, Captain Turner?” Rachel links her arm through mine. “Shall we be off? I’m starting to get the feeling like a bad storm is coming, and I really want to see the Arboretum at the next mile marker. You might recognize it from one of my favorite childhood movies,
Jurassic Park
.”

“I used to terrorize Marg with those movies,” I say with a laugh. “To this day she has an unhealthy fear of dinosaurs.”

We start the hike on the trail again. “Older brothers can be such assholes. My brother Logan loved scaring us. Us, meaning my sister Jessica and I.”
 

“Are you the middle child?”
 

“I am. We’re all two years apart. We get along well for the most part now. Jessica is a bit of a…how should I put this nicely…a bitch. Well, mostly just to me. And sometimes Logan. I feel bad saying that because she’s my sister, but it’s the truth.”
 

“I think everyone feels that way about their siblings one time or another. Margery is six years younger than me, and I think that age difference helped, but she still drove me fucking insane when we were kids.”
 

“The joy of siblings, right?”

We finish the hike in relative silence, taking in the sights of the Waikamoi Trail and then get back into the rental car to drive to the Garden of Eden Arboretum. The place even wows me, and I’m not a garden type of person. Rachel takes lots of pictures and somewhat sheepishly asks me to take a few of her near a 100-year old mango tree so she can post something on her blog later on.
 

When we find the famous
Jurassic Park
location, we of course have to take turns posing for the camera in ways where a dinosaur can be photoshopped in. We’re too busy talking and laughing to notice the storm clouds lurking over the ocean, and rain begins to fall as we travel to the next stop. It comes down hard for all of five minutes, then disappears, allowing the sun to come back out. We are in a rainforest, after all. This should be expected.
 

The humidity is suffocating, and the rented SUV is slow as shit when it comes to cooling down.
 

“How far are we from food?” I ask.

“I planned on eating at the Halfway to Hana marker. I’ve heard the banana bread and shaved ice is really good.”
 

“I think I need more than banana bread and ice.”
 

Rachel chuckles and turns around, pulling a bag from the backseat and gets out the coconut candy she got back at the Twin Falls farm stand. “This will tide you over? And they have other stuff there, like hotdogs and burgers.”
 

We travel along the narrow winding road. Rachel is contently looking out the window, watching the world pass us by.

“It’s crazy how this is the most traveled to island in the world yet it looks so wild, isn’t it? So much of it has been untouched. I hope it stays that way.”
 

“I think it will. It’s part of the appeal. If they tear down the forests or put buildings around the waterfalls, it’ll lose its value and people won’t travel to see it.”
 

“I hope you’re right. There was this neat little forest just a few miles behind where I grew up. My friend Lauren and I would go there sometimes in the summer and look for deer. They were all over, and it was an over-population issue, but we were kids and didn’t know. It always felt magical, even though it was just a little forest with a shallow creek in Michigan. Nothing like this. We were so sad when it got torn apart. An apartment complex went in. Sometimes I still wonder what happened to the deer.”
 

Hearing her say her friend’s name reminded me about the stalker text. I smirk, turning to Rachel. “I didn’t intentionally creep, but I silenced your phone this morning so it wouldn’t wake you up. Did you ever text your friend back?”
 

She shakes her head no. “I should. She’s a champion worrier. You know what would be funny? If I sent her a photo like asking for ransom or something.”
 

“That would be funny?”
 

“It would be funny if you took the photo like a good stalker. I’ll send another a minute after so she knows it’s a prank.”
 

“All right. I’m going to tie you up and have my way with you at the next stop.”
 

Rachel laughs. “I can’t wait.”

Chapter Seventeen

Rachel

I sit at a picnic table under a shaded hut awning at the Halfway to Hana snack stand, having just got off the phone with Lauren. She didn’t find the fake kidnapping photo funny. She wouldn’t admit it was funny, I mean.
 

I look across the lot at Derek, who is in line to get us food. Quite a few others have stopped here, and since the rain is gone for now, we all thought it was a good time for a bite to eat. My mom called yesterday, and texted me today to check in on me. I send her a half dozen pictures to convince her I’m alive and well…and actually happy. Seconds after they go through, she calls.
 

“Hey Mom,” I answer.
 

“Rachel! Finally, I got some pictures!”
 

I chuckle. “Sorry, I’ve been busy.”
 

“That’s good to hear, honey. What are you up today?”
 

“Road to Hana?”

“You went by yourself? You’re not the best driver, Rachel. Your father didn’t want me to say anything but when it comes to your safety I—”

“I’m not driving, Mom.” My eyes land on Derek and my heart skips a beat. “I made a friend, and we went together.”
 

“Oh that’s lovely! I’m so glad. But is this a friend you should be alone with?”
 

“Yes,” I say, thinking of how much I want to be alone with Derek right now. Even in this muggy heat he’s looking fine. “He’s a cop, and he’s very trustworthy.”
 

“He? Your friend is a man?”
 

“Mom, catch up with the modern world. Girls and boys can be friends. Just friends.” As the words leave my mouth I feel like I’m lying. While Derek and I are still annoyingly stuck on first-base, I know he’s more than a friend. “And I actually knew him back in Texas. It’s just a huge coincidence that we’re both here right now.”

“That makes me feel better. As long as you’re safe and having fun.”
 

“I am having fun. More fun than I would have with Travis, and I’m not just saying that because he’s the world’s biggest asshole. I jumped off a waterfall. And lived. And now I want to do it again from an even taller waterfall.”
 

Mom laughs. “You are my free spirited baby.”
 

Derek gets our food and starts walking over. “Lunch is coming,” I tell Mom. “I’ll talk to you later.”
 

“Enjoy the rest of your trip. Love you.”
 

“Love you too. Bye!” I hang up just in time to grab a loaf of bread from Derek’s hands before it falls. He’s balancing a lot of stuff.

“The banana bread is still warm!” I exclaim. “I’ve been so excited for this bread. You have no idea.” I bring it to my face and take a deep breath. “And it smells so good.”
 

“I’ve never seen someone so excited over bread before.” He sits next to me and cracks open a Pepsi. “We should do this.” He hands me a flyer. “Tomorrow.”
 

“Oh hell no!” I blurt before I even fully understand what’s going on. There’s a man precariously tied to a cliff side, scaling down a waterfall. “I would slip and fall to my death.”

“Live a little,” he says and nudges me with his elbow.

“I’ll live a little until I die!”
 

“Rappelling is fun and safe when done correctly.”
 

I raise an eyebrow and purse my lips. “You’ve done this before?”
 

“Never in a waterfall like that, but tactical rappelling.”
 

“Ohhh,” I say finally getting what he’s talking about. “Like in movies when ninjas scale down the sides of buildings?”
 

“More or less. Though I like to think I look as badass as a ninja.”
 

“I’m sure you do.” I unwrap the banana bread and break off a piece. “But me…not so much. I’d fall. I’m telling you, I will.”
 

“I’ll catch you.”
 

Our eyes meet and a shiver runs through me. Suddenly I realize there’s a more dangerous way to fall.
 

“I’m heavier than I look,” I blurt, feeling flustered. “I’m top heavy.”
 

He laughs. “I prefer women that way.”
 

“Good, because I don’t have much going on in the ass department.”
 

“I disagree there. You’re too hard on yourself.”
 

I shrug. “Nah. Probably not hard enough.” I take a bite of bread. “This tastes even better than it smells. Want some?” I break off a piece and hold it up for Derek. He leans forward and takes it, lips brushing against my fingers. The shiver that just ran through me is back, but this time is an electrical shock that awakens every nerve in my body. A quick shag in the car sounds like a good idea.
 

Though I don’t take Derek to be a minute-man. He’s so patient, so in control. Derek is the type of lover who would take his damn time, making me squirm and beg of it.

Fuck.
 

I’m getting hot and wet thinking about it. I inhale and look away, trying to come up with something non-sexy to say.
 

I fail.
 

“It’s getting hotter,” Derek says and I almost choke. “Or is it just me?”
 

No, it’s definitely not just you. “I think so. More humid at least. There’s a spot to swim…uh…not too far from here.”
 

“What’s our next stop?”
 

I pull up my list I have saved on the phone. “Wailua Valley. Just the lookout spot is marked as to-do on this trip because there’s enough to see in the area to take up half a day. There’s a really old church there made out of coral. After that, the next stop is Pua’a Kaa State Wayside Park, which has a place to swim. With a waterfall.”
 

“Oh good, we can practice rappelling.”
 

I give him my best glare, which just makes him laugh.
 

“You really won’t do it with me?”
 

Fuck yes I’ll do it with you
. I blink, trying to pull my mind from the gutter. “Maybe. In theory it sounds fun. But even the flyer says you’re likely to get scraped and banged up.”
 

“An adventure isn’t really an adventure without at least one bruise,” he teases, but his words ring true. The thought of scaling down a waterfall or cliff with not much more than a small harness and some rope scares me. But hasn’t this whole trip been about doing things that scare me?
 

Hell, coming on my honeymoon alone is ten times scarier than jumping off any cliff.

“All right. I’ll do it. But you have to promise you’ll catch me if I fall.”
 

His smile broadens, lighting up his face, erasing whatever pain he harbors deep in his heart. “I’ll be waiting and ready.”
 

~*~

“That is the best thing I’ve heard all day. Maybe even in my life,” I say when the rushing water is audible. We’ve hiked two miles on the Pipiwai Trail, starting at Ohe’o Gulch, but the humidity from the recent rainfall is suffocating us. The sun is back out in full force, but instead of drying up the land and whisking away the moisture in the air, it’s heating it up, making every step feel like we’re walking in an overcooked raincloud.
 

But not even the heat could take away the magic of the island, and I couldn’t have a better companion on this journey. We stopped to admire a giant banyan tree for at least twenty minutes. The tree had an energy about it, something sacred and old, something bigger than myself in an indescribable way.
 

We spend just as long looking down at the Makahiku Falls. It’s crazy to be so high up, to look down on something so incredible, surrounded by wilderness. Others came and passed, their voices and footfalls lost in the noise of nature. Wind rustles the lush trees. Water cascades down the mountainside, gaining speed as it falls, loudly crashing to the earth below. But up here looking down, it’s as if we’re the only ones left on earth.