Then & Now (19 page)

“Yeah.  I was just thinking.” He confessed while he crossed his arms in front of him.

“Oh?”  Her eyes roomed his face for a moment understanding completely.  “Thinking about us and last night?”

He nodded without a word.  This wasn’t a conversation you had the morning after you give your heart away.  But he had to know how much danger that heart was really in.

“Are you having second thoughts about last night?”  She asked as she dropped her eyes to the floor.

Caught off guard by her question he stood straighter. “Nay.  Not at all.  In fact last night was probably the most amazing night I’ve ever had.”

With a scarcely audible voice she hugged her arms around her middle.  “But…You’re going to leave anyway.”

“Do ye want me to?”

“No, I want you to stay.  For as long as you’re willing to.”

“I’m willing stay for awhile, Sophia. I meant what I said earlier. I’m fighting for keeps.”  He started as he came up next to her.  “I’m willing to fight for you.  But if you only needed last night…then I’ll go.”

His words had her snapping to attention.  “No!  I don’t want you to go.”

Lowering his mouth to hers he whispered across her trembling lips.  “Tell me what ye do want, Sophia.” 

“I want….you.”  She breathed.

“What are ye saying, Sophia?”  He asked placing both hands on the wall on either side of her.

Her eyes met his with a desperation that nearly killed him to see.  “I don’t know what I’m saying.  I mean, this isn’t fair to you.  Not now.  Not when John is still in the picture.”

“Just answer me one question.  Then we will decide how fair or unfair this is. Alright?”  He asked with a lump of hope wedged deep in the back of his throat.

“Alright.”
  She permitted with a shaky voice.

“Was this only sex between us?”
The lump grew a little larger as she took a moment to answer.  Watching her face he awaited the moment she might break his heart.

“No, this has
nothing to do with sex…this is way beyond lust or infatuation.” She swallowed.

“That’s all I wanted to know.” Without any hesitation he took her deep into his arms and kissed her with everything he had. As he felt her melt into him, his heart gave a hard thump against his chest and he knew that there was nothing left to fear.

John sat in the back of the office with the rest of the team waiting for Tristan to arrive so they could start the meeting.  He had been on edge all week and couldn’t figure out why.  Sophia hadn’t called him once, which he was grateful.  She had a tendency to be a little clingy.

“Wow, this Scottish fellow sure has you by the balls.” Matthew Trapper laughed as he took a seat next to him.

“Excuse me?”  John asked the man he had replaced as lead.

“Did you give this any thought, Hunter?”  He inquired with a nasty smirk.  “You only got this job because Macklin has a thing for your woman.”

“Could you please take your sour grapes elsewhere?  I don’t have time for it.” 

“No, of course you don’t.  Macklin has you running everywhere so he can have your woman to himself.”  Matthew stated as he got up from the chair he had just sat in. “Just take one minute, Hunter.  You’ll know I’m not blowing smoke up your skirt.”

Shaking off the other man’s comment he went back to his notes until he noticed Sara Callings, a member of his team, staring at him.  He gave her a questionable look.

“Trapper’s right, John.” She replied quietly. “I watched them together last weekend.  If I were you I’d keep my eye on the boss man.” 

“I should?”

She nodded solemnly.  “I know for a fact that he went to her house sometime this past week.”

Getting up from his chair, John went out into the hall.  If either one of them were speaking the truth he’d rip his Scottish ass in half.  He felt he heat rising up his neck. Needing air he exited the back doors.

He wished he hadn’t given up smoking as he made his way through the back parking lot.  Then he heard a sound he hadn’t heard in a long time.  Stopping dead in his tracks, John listened more carefully.  Sure enough, there in the far corner of the lot stood Sophia laughing joyously.

It took him a moment to take in the sight before him. To see her that happy almost killed him.  It had been too long since he had seen her that way.  In fact he couldn’t even remember the last time he had made her laugh that hard.

His fist clenched tight when he saw the reason behind her enjoyment….Tristan Macklin.  He wanted to knock the man into the ground.  But he couldn’t move.  Watching them, painfully, he witnessed her reaction to the other man.  His heart slammed to a dead stop as he realized how happy she was.  

In that moment he saw it.
She wasn’t his anymore.

Sophia entered the corner deli knowing that she had to do something about John.  She would rather get a root canal without the anesthesia then do what she was about to do to him.  But, over the last few days she realized how completely unfair she had been to him for the last few years.

Her love for John had diminished.  Regrettably she didn’t realize it until Tristan came into the picture.  Although she would always love him for the memories and for all the firsts, her growing feelings for Tristan proved that she would never love him the way he should be loved. 

She knew that continuing with Tristan wasn’t fair to John for the obvious reasons.  But it was also unfair to Tristan for the more illogical ones.  Tristan deserved a clean start.  While John needed a clean break.  However, when she told Tristan that she had to call it off with John before it went any further between them, she realized that she had the very real problem of not wanting to let Tristan go for any amount of time. She wanted him.  Not for tonight or a few weeks, or even a few years.  She wanted him forever.      

It seemed almost irrational that she could jump from one man to the other without a moment to think or heal.  Yet, in the six years she had been with John she had never felt more alive, more loved then she did with Tristan. 

In the last three years her relationship with John had become more like a friendship with benefits than a loving committed relationship.  And maybe that was why she had felt so trapped.  She knew their love had died somewhere along the way and didn’t know how to handle it from where she stood.

“Hi.”  John’s voice plowed deep into her back.

She turned slowly, suddenly nervous.  “Hello.”

“Are you hungry?”  He asked as he pointed to the overhanging menu.

Shaking her head she tried to swallow the lump in her throat.

“Yeah, neither am I.”  He rubbed the back of his neck as he gestured to a table next to them.

She took the chair closest to the door feeling the coward in her willing to bolt.  He took the opposite chair folding his arms in front of him.  Though she tried to smile at him she knew it was a weak effort.

“So?” He asked slowly giving her the floor.

“Well…”  Where do you start with something like this?  Telling someone you didn’t love them anymore wasn’t something you dive into.  “Umm….Okay.  I’ve been thinking a lot about—No, wait.  I don’t want to start this way.  Err…I want you to know that…No that’s not right either.  Oh, I know.  See—”

“Sophia, are you trying to tell me about you and Tristan?”

His question took her by complete surprise.  “What?”

“You’re trying to break it to me softly.  But really you’re just rambling.” 
He quirked the side of his mouth up.

“How did you know?”  Her question was barely a whisper as she eyed him carefully.

He exhaled a long breath while he leaned forward on his arms.  “I saw you yesterday in the parking lot with him.  I saw the way you looked at him, Sophia.  It’s been way too long since you have looked at me that way.”

She cleared her throat trying to keep from crying.  “Yes. Yes it has.”

“Don’t get upset, baby girl.”  He smiled sympathetically.  “We both knew this wasn’t going to last.  Hell, I was counting the days until you figured out that it was my mother’s idea for us to get married and not me.”

She nodded shocked at her reaction to his comment.  It should have stung to hear; though it didn’t.  She was actually relieved.  A weight she hadn’t realized she been carrying lifted off of her shoulders.  “I’m so sorry, John.  This shouldn’t end this way.”

“Are you kidding?  This could’ve ended a lot worse.”  He chuckled.  “Like ten years down the line, with three kids, a house, and pure hate for each other.  No, I’m glad it ended the way it did.”

She had to laugh at the irony.  “Yeah, I guess you’re right.  But still.”

“Honestly, Sophia, I’m stunned at the fact that I’m happy for you.”  He admitted with a small shrug.  “I saw the way he was looking at you too.  At least I know I’m losing to something that has a chance.”  He winked and suddenly her heart was comforted.

“I will always love you.”

“So will I, baby girl.  So will I.”

“I keep thinking that I should be more upset with this.  But I’m not.”  She confessed feeling a little guilty about the raw truth.

He nodded.  “I know.  I feel the same way.  When I found out about you and Tristan I was pissed at first.  But then…”  He shrugged. 

But then he was thankful.  He didn’t have to say it.  She knew; just looking at his face she knew. 

She sighed, feeling the air for the first time in years.  “Now, what?”

He glanced out the window then back to her.  “Now, you go your way and I go mine.”  Pointing to where he had just glanced, he smiled.

Fallowing his finger she saw Tristan with an arm full of purple Calla Lilies, heading towards her apartment.  Her heart swelled at the sight. 

“Come to think of it,” John started, bringing her back to their conversation.  “You’ve never looked at me like that.”

No.  He was right she hadn’t.  Because out of all the first they had shared, Tristan was the first to have her heart completely.

Racing across the street, Sophia slowed when she saw the gorgeous Scott standing in front of her home.  “Hello.”  She smiled eyeing the beautiful flowers he had cradled in his muscular arms.

His heavenly eyes darted behind her and stayed fixed on something.

She turned to see John watching them as he climbed into his truck.  She waved and when he waved back, she twisted back to see Tristan’s handsome face.  “I’m all yours now.”  She informed him.  “What do you plan to do with me?”

His face went from concerned to
delighted.  “First I’ll give ye these.”  He said handing her the bouquet.  “Then, I’ll give ye this.”  Reaching into his back pocket he pulled out an envelope.

“You’re not going to pay me again are you?”  She teased, taking the large envelope.

“Just open it.”

Balancing the flowers against her arm and chest she opened it carefully.  Inside were two plane tickets to
Scotland.  Her eyes shot up to his.  “What…”

“Now that ye’re mine, I figured I should hold up to my promise to take
ye to see yer grandfather.”  He stated nonchalantly.

“Oh! Oh!”  She squealed as she threw her arms around him nearly dropping the Lilies.

“And maybe have ye meet my family.”  He added softly.

Leaning far enough back to look at him she studied his face.  “You want me to meet your family?”

“Well, I kind of told my mother that when I found the girl who would own my heart, I would bring her to meet the family.  And if I don’t I know she’ll hunt us down.”  Although he said the words lightheartedly she saw the truth in his eyes.

Kissing him with her entire heart she held onto the one man she knew that held all her lasts.  

Alethea Eneas played with the corner of her jacket with utter embarrassment coloring her cheeks.  This couldn’t be happening to her.  How in the world did she even agree to this?  Maybe it was because part of her didn’t really think this would happen to her.

When
Leya Davis, her best-friend, presented the idea a month ago Alethea just laughed it off.  But when the date to brother’s engagement party grew nearer and her sister’s continuous calls about the men she could set her baby sister up with, Alethea panicked. This landed her here at a charity bachelor auction, staring at the program filled with dangerously sexy men.

She was completely out of her element.  For Leya this was just another day among the rich and powerful.  “So, are you biding on eighteen?  I think you should.”  She wiggled her eyebrows as she took a pull from her expensive wine glass.

Glancing over the image of Number Eighteen, an attractive firefighter who worked with the humane shelter, Alethea felt her palms grow moist.  “I don’t know.”  She mumbled meekly.

“Oh, come on.  This
is
the kind of man you take home to mother.”  Leya waved the program in front of her with a teasing smile.

She let out a soft groan as she thought of her family.  To make a long story short she was Greek and to anyone who watched
My Big Fat Greek Wedding
should understand completely.  She was pushing twenty-five and she wasn’t even close to finding Mr. Right, which was absolutely unacceptable. If she walked into that engagement party without a man, her family would crucify her.