Then You Were Gone (12 page)

Dan shuffled again and the baby stretched its head up and back without opening its eyes.

‘How old?’ Since she turned thirty and her friends had started having babies, Simone had perfected the art of phrasing a question so that her ignorance of a baby’s gender was not immediately apparent.

‘He’ll be four weeks tomorrow.’

‘Wow. So this time last month he wasn’t even here?’

‘I know, but it’s impossible to imagine life without you now, isn’t it Archie?’ Melissa came back into the room carrying three mugs of coffee and a bottle of cognac. ‘Sorry,’ she said as she put the bottle down, ‘it’s not particularly decent stuff, but it’s all we’ve got. I thought you could probably do with something to warm you through a bit.’

‘Yes, amazing what can happen in a few weeks,’ Dan said, opening the cognac and pouring a slug into his mug. He waved the bottle at Simone and she nodded her assent.

‘None for me thanks, darling,’ said Melissa. ‘Not unless I want this little guy off his face on my breast milk.’

The warmth of the coffee and the fire of the brandy filled Simone’s chest and she felt, for the first time that day, almost at ease. It was disarming to be treated so kindly by an almost stranger whose house she had just invaded, and for a second she felt as though it was a social call, just a quick catch-up with a friendly young couple who had just had a baby.

Dan was frowning, his mind clearly working, then he said, ‘Do you think this could be something to do with this new business he’s gone into with Keith?’

Simone felt a jolt through her stomach, the panic she felt whenever Keith or Anastasia were mentioned. She thought of Jazzy, whether he was going to approach Keith again, whether he was putting himself in danger by doing so. Her eyes darted instinctively to her phone. She had not heard from Jazzy all day. ‘I don’t know,’ she said, her throat dry despite the coffee. ‘Why do you ask that?’

Dan looked serious, regretful almost. ‘Well… Do you know Keith?’

Simone nodded. ‘Yeah. Well, I mean, I’ve met him a couple of times.’

‘What do you think of him?’

Is there ever a right answer to that question? Simone thought. ‘I, erm… I don’t really know him very well,’ she finished lamely.

‘Mmmm,’ Dan said, a look of wry amusement on his face. He knew what she meant. ‘Well, I asked that because when Mack told me he was going to work for Keith I thought – well to be honest, my first thought was Christ, no, don’t do it! Although I didn’t say that to Mack of course. But I mean, I couldn’t understand why he would do that, why he would even consider working for someone like Keith. Come on, the guy’s so obviously dodgy, you only have to meet him once to know that. Mack’s better than that and I thought he knew he was. I was really surprised and also I was a bit disappointed in him.’ Simone suppressed a smile. There was something about Dan’s earnestness coupled with his musical Lancashire accent that was irresistibly endearing. If he had been her teacher she knew she would have hated to hear him say he was disappointed in her. ‘But then,’ Dan went on, ‘I’ve never understood what it is with Mack and Keith.’

‘Never?’ Simone said. ‘You mean he’s talked about Keith to you before? Before he went to work for him I mean?’

Dan nodded, as though it were obvious. ‘Sure. I met him a few times actually, up in Glasgow.’

‘Keith? Really?’ Simone could not imagine any friends of her parents coming to visit her at university.

‘He used to come to Glasgow at really short notice, just turn up at our flat or at the union bar and expect Mack to drop everything and go off with him. I mean, he used to take Mack out to dinner and – well, he probably wouldn’t really want me telling you this, but I know he used to take him to strip bars and lap dancing places as well – and Keith would pay for everything. But I always used to get the impression that Mack didn’t really want to go with him, but that Keith gave him no choice. Like Mack was a bit scared of him or that he – I don’t know, he owed him something, he felt some sort of responsibility towards him like he would with family.’

‘I know,’ Simone said, ‘I know exactly what you mean.’ She recognised the behaviour Dan was describing; she had witnessed the same change in Mack when Keith was around, his swagger suddenly fading and a strange, slightly craven need to please taking over. What was it? This hold that Keith had over Mack? What had scared him so much? ‘But,’ she went on, ‘why? Do you know why Mack was like that with him?’

Dan shrugged. ‘I haven’t a clue. Mack never liked to talk about Keith and I guess I picked up on that and I never liked to ask. Although,’ he paused. ‘I do remember one time, the only time he really said anything about Keith. We were up at Kielder, you know, in Northumberland? A group of us used to go up there every end of term once exams were over with. Just to get out of Glasgow, see some trees, breathe some fresh air. We used to get a dorm in the youth hostel, a few crates of beer and just chill out. Anyway, this particular night, Mack had gone a bit overboard – not just beers, it was spirits, pills, a bit of weed, anything that was going. I thought he was worried that he’d fucked up his exams, but I don’t know. Now I look back on it, I wonder if there was something else bothering him… Anyway, he got really hammered and he was just – well, rambling really… And he started on the whole “I fucking love you, you’re my best mate…” thing.’ He half-smiled at the memory. ‘He was going on about how he’d never had any proper friends until he came to uni, and I think that was kind of true because I never ever heard him talk about any friends from home or school – you know, a lot of drunken self-pity.’ Dan seemed a little embarrassed, almost as though he was apologetic on Mack’s behalf. ‘And it all led onto this incoherent rant about Keith and how Keith was all right really and what a great guy he was once you got to know him and how he’d helped him out of some tough times and he was the only person who had come through for him when he really needed someone and he’d owe him one forever. It kind of surprised me and didn’t seem to make much sense – I mean, Mack certainly never acted as though he thought Keith was a great guy when Keith was around. And he wouldn’t say anything more about what exactly Keith had helped him out with, just shrugged it off, like, “Nah, trust me you don’t want to know”. Got a bit funny with me when I pushed it, then he passed out with his clothes on and we never mentioned it again. So,’ Dan spread his hands apologetically. ‘I don’t know what it is about Keith and Mack, but I do know that it’s something, and I don’t think it’s something good.’

For Christ’s sake
, Simone could not help but think.
Men! What was wrong with asking your best friend a straight question and getting a straight answer?
But then she chastised herself. Everybody has secrets. Everybody has things in the past that they may not be proud of. Mack was as entitled to that as she or anyone else. ‘Look,’ she said to Dan, ‘we don’t know whether it is to do with Keith or the business. Do you know Jazzy?’

Dan nodded noncommittally, ‘I’ve heard Mack talk about him. Never met him though.’ His tone was dismissive and Simone felt the urge to smile again. Was there some rivalry for Mack’s affections between the two best friends?

‘Well, Jazzy’s looking into it while I’m here.’ She remembered her role, the cool-headed PI, calm and capable and working for the greater good. ‘I decided I’d do some digging into this side of things – you know, Mack’s personal life.’ Dan raised a quizzical eyebrow and Simone burst out laughing, breaking the tension. ‘You know what I mean. But,’ she shrugged, ‘it seems like you know even less than I do.’ She felt something plummet inside her as she said the words aloud. She had been teetering on a precipice and, without realising it, she had placed a lot of faith in finding something here that could bring her back from the edge. Now she saw that that was not going to happen.

‘Sorry,’ Dan said, his tone sombre again. He must have been able to see the loneliness and defeat in her eyes. ‘I wish I could help you. And Mack too. It sounds like he’s in a bad way. I know if I were ever on my uppers I could go to Mack and he’d do anything he could for me. I want to do the same, but…’ he sighed and pressed his knuckles into both eyes. Simone did not know if she had ever seen anyone more in need of a good night’s sleep. Dan released his hands and blew out a long, loud sigh. ‘Sorry,’ he said again.

Simone drained the last of her coffee. ‘Listen, I won’t keep you much longer, I know it’s late.’ She put on the voice of the ballsy, bitches-get-stuff-done PI. Melissa had taken the baby from Dan and was breast feeding him in an armchair with her eyes closed. Simone was not sure if the poor woman was awake or asleep or whether she had truly been one or the other since Simone got there. ‘But there is one more thing I wanted to ask you about.’ She reached into her bag and took out Jessica Novak’s birth certificate. Handing it to him, she asked, ‘Do you know what this could be? It was in Mack’s flat with his own birth certificate and some other personal papers.’ She did not add any more details, the main reason being that she did not have any. The certificate spoke for itself, in that it said absolutely nothing.

Dan took it from her and studied it, his face similarly bewildered to the one that had greeted her when she first arrived. After a minute he looked up and shook his head. ‘I have no idea,’ he said, handing it back. ‘No idea at all.’

This barely surprised Simone, but she did still feel a jolt of disappointment. She had waited until now to ask Dan because she had known disappointment was the overwhelmingly likely outcome and she had wanted to defer it for as long as possible. Now the inevitable had happened and she realised she had no idea what to do next.

‘Jessica?’ Dan said suddenly, jolting Simone from her depressed reverie. ‘It’s someone called Jessica?’

‘Yes.’

Dan squinted. ‘Oh. That’s odd.’

‘Is it?’

‘Well, not really, it’s just… I mean, it’s probably just coincidence but – Mack’s always had this funny thing about the name Jessica. It struck me as being a bit weird, to be honest with you.’

‘What do you mean a “thing”?’

‘Well, when Mel was pregnant with Thomas – that’s our eldest – Mack was asking us about names, like you do, and we both said we liked Jessica for a girl, and he went really funny. Started going on, “Oh,
Jessica
? What, really? Oh, no, that’s an
awful
name, you can’t call a baby Jessica, ooohh noooo!”’ Dan did an exaggerated squeaky cockney accent, which did not sound like Mack at all. ‘I mean, I’d been fairly sure that he’d only asked about names out of politeness in the first place. Most of my single male friends couldn’t have given a shit really, they just felt they ought to at least acknowledge the fact we were having a baby, so they’d ask about names and that kind of thing – the easy stuff. And I thought that was just what Mack was doing, until he had this weird freak out about the name Jessica.’

‘OK.’ He was right, Simone thought. This was all a bit weird. And completely irrelevant. She was tired, she realised. Dan’s boyish helplessness which had seemed so charming half an hour ago was now starting to irritate her. It was the same way she often felt about Jazzy.

‘And then obviously Tom was a boy…’ Dan went on. ‘But then, again, when Mel was pregnant with Archie, he started on about it – and it was him that brought it up. He said “Oh, you’re not still thinking about Jessica for a girl, are you?” And we said, “Yes, we are actually,” and we had to go over the whole thing again, him going on and on about how much he hated the name and what a mistake it would be. And even when Archie was born and I rang him to tell him, one of the first things he said was, “Well, at least you won’t be calling him Jessica.”’ Dan shook his head. ‘Very weird.’

‘Yes,’ Simone agreed. ‘Yes, that is a bit weird.’ Was this relevant? She tried to ask herself through the fog of fatigue that was starting to settle. Was it something that mattered, or was it just a very tired man who was desperate to help, spouting gibberish so he felt as though he was contributing something?

Dan blinked and widened his eyes, as though woken from his own thoughts into a world where a strange, stressed woman was occupying his living room and his best friend had disappeared into the night. ‘Sorry, that’s all on a bit of a tangent, isn’t it?’

‘That’s OK. It’s not like I have any clues as it is.’

‘You think this–’ he indicated the birth certificate, ‘might have something to do with him going off like this?’

‘I don’t know,’ Simone said truthfully. ‘I mean, it’s an odd thing to have lying around your flat isn’t it, someone else’s birth certificate? Especially… well, especially a young woman with an eastern European name.’

‘Yes.’ Dan’s face was serious, betraying little, but Simone knew he must realise what she was getting at.

‘Do you think Keith or… anyone else that Mack knows might be involved in that sort of thing? Do you think…’ she swallowed. ‘Do you think Mack might even have been involved in it?’

‘Do you mean…?’ Dan’s tone was hesitant. Simone could tell he was reluctant to voice his thoughts in case that had not been what she meant at all.

‘Yes, I do. I mean that. I mean women. Prostitutes. Trafficking. Whatever you want to call it.’ It was the first time she had spoken these dark thoughts aloud.

‘No.’ Dan shook his head, his voice firm as it must be when the teenagers at school got a bit out of hand. ‘Absolutely not. Not Mack, at least. I can’t vouch for Keith – or anyone else. I’m pretty sure Keith’s capable of anything. But not Mack. Mack’s… he’s not perfect, he’s no angel, but he’s a good guy. He would never do anything like that. I’m sure of it.’

‘Right. OK.’ Despite the heat from the fire, Simone could feel herself starting to shiver again. ‘Thank you. I mean, I know he wouldn’t, I just… I feel as though I’m losing my grip on him, on who he really is. I’m starting to wonder a lot of things.’

‘I know.’ Dan closed his eyes slowly then, with visible effort, opened them again. ‘Me too. But you shouldn’t wonder that. Honestly.’

‘OK then,’ she smiled feebly. ‘I won’t.’ She put the birth certificate back in her bag and rose to leave. ‘I’ll get out of your way now, let you all get some sleep while you can.’