They Don't Teach Corporate in College (10 page)

Maybe you're thinking, “There's nothing I can do until I actually get there, right?” Not true. If you didn't interview with the person who will be your immediate supervisor, contact her immediately. Send an introductory email, and while you're at it, ask her if she has any materials you can review that will better prepare you for your first day. Has your new company been in the news lately? Include a line in your letter that shows you've been keeping up. This short note will probably take 10 minutes to compose and will do wonders for your boss's preliminary perception of you as a competent and proactive new hire.

If your manager sends materials, be sure to read them carefully. Common sense, right? Well, sad to say, I was caught with my pants down when, on my first day of a new job, my manager asked me a question about the annual report he'd mailed. I'd only skimmed the report and didn't have it in front of me, so I choked. Maybe you are a better BS-er than me, but knowing the facts can never hurt—especially in a new work situation. Also, if your new manager mentions any important team meetings or conference calls that will take place before your first day, volunteer to join them via phone or Skype. This might be difficult to do when you're still sitting at your desk in your old company, but try to swing it if you can. Your new colleagues will be impressed to see you involved before you're on the company's clock, and, next thing you know, everyone on the team will be looking forward to your start date.

Camille Lavington, a personal marketing consultant and author of
You've Only Got Three Seconds
, says that when you first meet someone, you only have three seconds to make an indelible impression. The moment an individual sees you, he evaluates your clothing, hairstyle, grooming habits, facial cues, and posture. Without even thinking about it, he'll decide whether he wants to get to know you better and whether you are worthy of being taken seriously. No matter what you say from that point on, his opinion of you will be heavily influenced by his initial perception. Three seconds is not a lot of time. Plus, during your first day at a new job, you will meet a lot of people who are important to your future success. You will also have to cope with one major disadvantage that you can't do anything about: your age. Even if you alter your appearance or demeanor, you will probably still look like a twenty-something. Some people will expect you to act flaky, immature, or entitled because you are young, and the burden is on you to prove them wrong. Needless to say, you'll want to prepare for these challenges before you arrive.

Like it or not, most of the professional world is conservative at heart. On your first day, show up wearing a clean and neatly tailored suit in an appropriate color such as black or navy blue, even if the rest of the company dresses in business casual. You might be overdressed, but I guarantee no one will criticize you for it. Rather, your colleagues will respect that you mean business, and your boss will be proud to introduce you around the company. Besides, isn't it easier to act professionally when you look the part? I know that when I'm sitting down to a meeting and I'm wearing khakis, I sometimes forget to cross my legs. I never do that when I'm wearing a suit. If your company is business casual, you can taper off the suit-wearing after a week or so. However, if the dress is mixed, I suggest staying with the suit. You'll be able to compete with the best-dressed people in the company, you'll appear older, and you'll look like a million bucks when you run into the CEO in the elevator. A colleague once told me that if I dressed like the VPs, I would become one faster because people would be able to picture me in a higher position.

I've also heard that women primarily look at shoes and jewelry when evaluating other women. Don't have a lot of money? I recommend investing in three good pairs of dress shoes and a few pieces of simple but high-quality gold jewelry. If you're afraid your commute will kill your feet, wear sneakers on the way to work and change before stepping into your office building.

The best advice I have for guys is to shave often, don't wear ties that scream for attention, and don't knock people over with your cologne. And forgive me for saying this, but lose any visible body piercings. I know it's not fair, but the fact is that a man wearing an earring has a certain connotation in the professional world, and something that tiny should not be allowed to compromise your professional persona. For the same reason, both genders should cover up obvious tattoos.

In recent years, twenty-something employees have been guilty of taking business casual dress codes to new extremes of casual. Folks, “business casual” should be defined as something you might wear to a place of worship—for example, a knee-length skirt, a short-sleeve blouse, and dress sandals for a woman and a pair of chinos and a polo shirt for a man. Jeans, flip-flops, T-shirts that advertise, and in general anything wrinkled, stained, torn, or too revealing of certain body parts should be reserved for a Sunday afternoon football game in your living room.

In addition to being vigilant about your style of clothing, you should watch your use of workplace accessories. Once upon a time, I carried a chewed
pen around to all my meetings, until a coworker lightly asked me if my pen tasted good. I never made that mistake again!

The day I started a new job in event planning, my department was preparing for our annual conference in Philadelphia. We were on our hands and knees stuffing customer information packets the whole day, and by 7 p.m., my new suit was impossibly wrinkled, my stockings had a run, and I was flustered beyond belief. My boss told me our group head wanted to meet me, so I made a quick pit stop at the bathroom to freshen up and calm myself down. I took a deep breath and walked confidently into the group head's office, smiling and looking as relaxed as if I was on a cruise. Later, my boss told me that the group head was really impressed with me. I asked how this was possible, considering he had just met me, and my boss said that the group head felt that anyone who could be so together after such an insane first day must be a good find. That brief interaction set a positive tone for my relationship with the big boss from that point forward.

Marisol, 29, Maryland

Your first week at a new job will be a whirlwind of new people and situations. When I jumped from an office with 300 people to one with more than 3,000, I was so confused, I had trouble remembering anyone's name for a few weeks. Nevertheless, as I mentioned previously, the first few moments of interaction between you and other people will shape their appraisal of you. So when you are introduced to new colleagues, remember to make eye contact, smile, and shake their hands firmly. Ask them their names, and find out what they do for the company. Jot these things down quickly, along with anything else that might help you remember them. Engage in small talk freely if the conversation goes that way, staying away from thorny political issues that could get you into trouble. Show that you are interested in them by paying them sincere compliments or asking appropriate personal questions.

In these first conversations, the goal is to project enthusiasm, confidence, and an aura of respect—no matter whom you're meeting. I've seen new people come into a company and put their best face on for the executives, while
disregarding everyone else. This is not smart. A professional persona is nothing if not consistent. Besides, you won't know who the company influencers are at the beginning. It's a good bet to pay special attention to administrative assistants. These individuals tend to have the executives' ears, and they know how to work the system. When meeting or dealing with “admins,” be polite or even deferential. They may turn out to be the most important allies you have in the company.

If your manager doesn't send an email welcoming you to the department, it's a nice gesture for you to introduce yourself this way. The message should be no more than a few lines containing a brief summary of your background and stating how happy you are to be working there. Create an email signature, and add it to your outgoing messages so that your colleagues can note your full name, title, and contact information.

If you thought everyone in the professional world spoke your language, think again. The business world's language is one of subtlety, filled with euphemisms and pet phrases to cleverly disguise what people actually mean. Because you wouldn't visit a foreign country without a translator app, I've provided some phrases here that should assist you at the beginning of your journey.

Phrase:
“I've got too much on my plate.”

What it means:
This person has too much work to do or is trying to look as though she has too much work to do, so someone else will have to take on any new assignments.

Phrase:
“I just wanted to close the loop.”

What it means:
This person has made progress on an issue you were involved in and is, thankfully, keeping you informed.

Phrase:
“Let's assess the team's bandwidth.”

What it means:
This person is trying to find out how much work everyone has to do, probably so she can delegate a new assignment to the person who is least busy.

Phrase:
“You and I are not on the same page.”

What it means:
This person does not agree with you or there is a communication breakdown regarding the best way to proceed with a project.

Phrase:
“I'm in crisis mode.”

What it means:
The person is stressed about a matter that may or may not be urgent. Either way, she does not want to be bothered.

Phrase:
“I'm just calling to touch base.”

What it means:
This person wants to give you an update on a project or needs to ask you to do something for her.

Phrase:
“Don't forget to CYA.” (a.k.a. “Cover Your Ass”)

What it means:
This person wants you to take action to ensure that you are not blamed for something.

Phrase:
“FYI…” (a.k.a. “For Your Information”)

What it means:
This person is indicating to you that you will be held accountable for whatever information she is about to impart.

Phrase:
“We're going to have to think outside the box.”

What it means:
This person has received instructions from higher up to make sure that a great deal of thought goes into a project, and the pressure is on you to come up with something creative that is different from what has always been done.

Phrase:
“Someone dropped the ball.”

What it means:
This person is absolving themselves of responsibility for a failing project and is implicating someone else on the team. Hopefully the “someone else” isn't you.

Phrase:
“You're on the fast track.”

What it means:
This person is telling you that you have great potential and will probably be promoted quickly.

Phrase:
“Let's take it offline.”

What it means:
This person wants to talk with you privately in an effort to either keep things confidential or stop wasting everyone else's time.

Phrase:
“Better keep this on your radar.”

What it means:
This person is implying that she plans to forget what she is about to tell you as soon as the words come out of her mouth. You, on the other hand, are responsible for keeping it top of mind and following up appropriately.

Phrase:
“We need to first capture the low-hanging fruit before getting to the heavy lifting.”

What it means:
This person wants to get the easy stuff over with before moving on to actual work.

Phrase:
“Let's leverage this best practice to add value and impact our bottom line.”

What it means:
Whoa, a quadruple whammy! You'll usually find jargon-filled sentences like these in strategic documents, such as business plans. For simplicity's sake, let's break this one down:

Leverage = recycle previous work

Best practice = how everyone else is doing it

Add value = justify a program's existence

Impact bottom line = make money

So in other words: “We must take advantage of the fact that someone has already come up with a working concept that everyone in the company buys into. You should use this concept to convince the higher-ups that your project will make the company money.”

When I showed up to my new office, there was a problem with my Internet connection, and I couldn't get my system up and running for the entire week. I was actually pretty annoyed, but there was no way in hell I was going to show it. I called the help desk a thousand times, and because I was always polite and grateful, I ended up being good friends with the guy. Now, whenever I have a computer issue, I know I'll be his first priority.

Micah, 23, Texas

Imagine being shown to your new office—a windowless cubicle. A dead plant is there to greet you, along with crumbs of dirt all over the carpet. The lightbulbs are burned out and you don't see your assigned laptop anywhere. Welcome to the business world! Don't be offended that your new organization didn't take the time to set up a nice workspace for you; just move on. The first thing to do (after cleaning up the crumbs, of course) is to procure your digital devices and ensure they are in working order so that people can get in touch with you immediately. Once your voice mail is functional, leave a short, friendly, and professional greeting. Speak slowly and block out as much background noise as possible.