They Told Me I Had to Write This

TUESDAY, MARCH 3
THE REV

They told me I had to write this. It’s taken a while to get started but here I am.

‘Here I am.’ Sounds like I’m talking to the coppers again.

‘Here I am. Yes, sir. No, sir. OK I did it, sir. Here I am.’

The stuff I’ve been given up for. I can’t believe it. People are still on my back in this place. Same old story. So here I am writing. Figure that one out.

Anyway, there’s too many dead people in my world and I’m sick of being blamed. Being blamed for someone being dead sucks. Such is life. Ned Kelly said that. Saw a few people dead then wrote some letter and got famous. Brothers, Ned and me.

Don’t count on this being a long letter. It’s taken a while to get started but it’s coz of what they told me. Well, anyway, the Rev told me and he’s like the boss around here. The boss of Rocky Valley. The school for kids too hot to handle. You can spot the Rev because of the red-hot car and motorbike. He’s a full-on Mr Revhead.

The car is old but serious. Falcon GT with the air scoop poking up through the bonnet. That air scoop comes alive with the motor and we call it the Shaker. We all want a ride, but guess what. He never gives anyone a lift. Not even if someone’s missed the bus. Miss the bus and he’ll just drive off. Leaving kids behind sucks.

His fancy motorbike’s a one player game with no room for a passenger anyway. It’s got this stupid lid where the back seat should be but it’s for a toolkit or something. I reckon he should have a back seat coz that bike could take two people easy. Aprilia RSV1000R. Red and black like the Shaker and designed like it came from outer space.

You know what’s twice stupid about his bike? It’s got no seat for a passenger but it’s got the foot-pegs. Too right. Foot-pegs, no seat, double stupid.

So that’s it for Mr Revhead. And if he gets to see this he should take my advice about getting a back seat so he can take a passenger. Not that I want to go passenger with some teacher. Had that way back. They could have called him pedals, that other bloke. That rock spider. I’m not going there no more. No way am I.

But that Aprilia sure is a pretty bike. The Rev told me I had to write this. So here I am and now he can get off my back. It took me a long time to get going, but you probably already know that.

Do you? Do you know that stuff? I don’t know how it works, that kind of thing. But I’m your grandson and I know you still love me.

There, I’ve said it.

Clem.

WEDNESDAY, MARCH 11
COPPING THE COPPERS

Dear Gram

The coppers were here again. At school I mean. This time it was worse than when they were after Bundy.

His name isn’t Bundy it’s Barry, but his hair is almost white, even his eyebrows. His chin is seriously fuzzy like he should get to his dad’s shaver and he’s like a polar bear so he gets everyone to call him Bundy. He’s pretty big so we call him that. Hey, you’ve got to choose your battles carefully around here.

The first time the coppers came I got off the bus real careful and slid out of the way quiet as. My heart was beating like it was about to give me up no matter what. The coppers were here for Troy’s broken arm, which Bundy had done. We didn’t know it was broken but his mum took him to hospital and then somebody called the coppers.

That’s how it is with some of the fights around here. Had some bruises but no broken arms or anything. Bundy reckons he’s hot property with the coppers after him, but the story from Troy was that he did his arm falling off his bike. Anyway, the nurse figured Troy should have some gravel rash and his mum got a bit suss. His mum gets suss and we get the coppers. Mostly I try to stay out of Bundy’s way. I’m learning.

Anyway, this morning on my bike I saw the coppers and took off on autopilot. Then I thought, can’t be anything they want me for or they would get me at home. Cooled down and rode back to school. Then had to say why I was late. Bit close there for a while but not like it was last year.

Having coppers close up gets me going but this school has a secret weapon for guys like Bundy, which is Mr Sykes. If you put Bundy between a couple of weightlifters and roll them into one you end up with Mr Sykes. He takes no prisoners and Bundy slows up something noticeable around Mr Sykes.

But this letter has gone on long enough.

Clem.

MONDAY, MARCH 16
TXT

Dear Gram

U R 2 KEWL! Dad reckons I run up too much money on texting. Of course he’d say that. Here’s another one, U R Gr8 Xlnt C U L8r.

This boy Peter can text as fast as we can write. One of the teachers calls him Repeater coz he’s so fast. Get it? We just call him Pete. He’s a bit like me and doesn’t like being called by his full name. His mum is always ‘Peter this – Peter that’. I guess that’s the way mothers do it.

Who ever heard of anyone being called Clement? I prefer Clem. Some of the boys call me Clam coz I never say much. I don’t like Clam either.

Parents should be careful with kids’ names but being a Dylan is very brilliant. Clem Dylan is all up cool for a name. Another plus for Dylan is a song by this dude Bob Dylan that we did in class. The song is like,

Fathers throughout the land.

Don’t criticise

You don’t understand

Your sons are beyond your command.*

I have made it a rap song here because the original needed help, but that song is so true about my dad.

Discussion on that song was pretty hot I can tell you. It says something about fathers which is Velcro between me and Bob Dylan. That shows you what names can do.

Another boy here is Jackson but he wants us to call him Jacko coz he’s whacko. His mum calls him Jackson and he rolls his eyes like, ‘Who ever calls me Jackson?’ But one day I heard her call him Jacko as he got in the car and he went seriously off at her. ‘Call me Jackson,’ he yelled.

What’s that about? Her one thing and us another thing. Weird. Didn’t ask him about it, but. He’s got this t-shirt, ‘My mum went to the $2 Shop and all I got was this lousy t-shirt’. Should be happy he’s even got a mum I reckon.

I’m gonna finish coz this letter suddenly stings me.

Clem.

FRIDAY, MARCH 20
A WAY OUT? DON’T COUNT ON IT

Dear Gram

Life goes on at Rocky Valley and we’re all getting out on the bike track. We’re in the bush a bit and there’s the maddest track up behind the school. It’s a proper bush racing track and long distance. There’s about twenty k of tracks and you can do short loops or the whole thing.

Some of it is deadly steep, like off a cliff. I don’t know why they made it so steep. It’s not like there’s anything up there or anything, just gnarly old washouts.

One steep bit follows this gully and when it rains the whole thing is a slippery mess like riding up a creek. We all reckon it’s dangerous but they still make us do races on it, even downhill. If we want to we can take another track but it takes longer that way and most of the kids do that, but then they never win that section. It’s even got a sign saying The Way Out. It’s not, but. Not the way out. It’s just another way to the same place. At the other end you’re still there, still riding, still pushing like mad past all the mud and rocks and stuff.

Take The Way Out and someone with a bit of skill on the gully track gets ahead of you. I’ve seen the Rev do that. Get ahead of anyone, he can, up the gully or down. You should see him on a mountain bike. It’s as if he’s on his superhot Aprilia. I don’t know how he does it, ride the gully like that I mean. Must be some secret.

His mountain bike is not red and black like the Aprilia; it’s a Bianchi and it’s kind of silver, kind of blue. Looks magic with that tucked away shock in back. That’s what I want one day, decent shockers. Aprilia and Bianchi. Those Italians sure know how to put a bike together.

Clem.

FRIDAY, MARCH 27

Dear Gram

I’ve been a while coz we’ve been camping in the bush. We go camping a lot and that is mostly excellent, but not this week. This camp was a two-day thing and it rained. I reckon they must have known it was going to rain. How can somebody mess that up with the TV telling you anyway?

So we walked there in the rain and we walked out in the rain. When we got back to the school Dad was there to pick me up. Mostly I ride or get the bus. My dad can tell when it’s raining, must be improving.

Clem.

MONDAY, MARCH 30

Dear Gram

The coppers were at school again this morning. I didn’t go off like I used to but it was weird riding past that cop car as if I didn’t care. Turns out to be only one copper and he was setting up some bike races with the PCYC kids from town. RVS against PCYC. Let’s see who gets most up the nose of the others that day. Can’t wait.

Anyway having that cop car there was a bit like an omen coz it wasn’t long before I was in trouble anyway and the trouble was about me not saying much which is full-on unfair if you think about it.

We were in the paddock doing agriculture with Mr Sykes and I was staying quiet because of the coppers when somebody made a comment about my name. Mostly I let this stuff pass and get the guy later. But today when somebody said the unfunny Clem the Clam joke, this smart-arse named Brian said, ‘Clem is a man of few words and one day he will learn the meaning of both of them.’ I went right off and said, ‘Well here’s the meaning of them both. One in this hand and one in the other.’

Then I was into him with my fists like you wouldn’tbelieve. But Mr Sykes is like a mountain and he grabbed us both before I could really get going and suddenly my fists weren’t much use to me.

But what is really weird is that Mr Sykes got Brian to apologise, which was OK by me, but then he got me to apologise which was not so easy coz Brian is a full-on headache and a bit of bruising would shut him up. Shut him up. Ha, that’s funny, coz we sometimes call him ‘windows’. Well, his name’s Dawson, don’t blame me. Anyway, part of the landscape at Rocky Valley is Mr Sykes getting in the way more often than is helpful.

So the coppers set me up for a bad day but I am hoping that things settle down a bit where the cops are concerned, and at least it was Brian and not Bundy. This place is full of people who set me off, but this is the first time Mr Sykes has had to get hold of me like that. I don’t know if that is bad or good but at least the day is over.

Love,

Clem.

THURSDAY, APRIL 2
REV REVISITED

Dear Gram

Did I tell you that I see the Rev every week or two? Well I do. All the kids here have a teacher that they see like this for a private talk. It’s OK but it can get a bit hectic. If it gets like that I go and look out the window to the car park. I check out the Aprilia or the Shaker and my mind goes somewhere silent in amongst the red and the black.

Mostly I try to stay private but when I’m talking with the Rev sometimes things slip out, like the time I said something about that teacher in year five. I shut up pretty quick when that came out. The Rev doesn’t bag me out or put me down or anything. Didn’t even mention the fight with Brian which was a surprise to me.

Sometimes it’s as if he knows what I mean even before I say it. And even when he’s ahead of me he doesn’t shut me down. My old teachers never let me finish, but this place is different and the Rev is OK.

This week I was telling him about some of the trouble I had in primary school with getting sent home all the time for losing it and going fully sick at that teacher when he said things about me in front of the other kids.

Trouble is, talking with the Rev can get me upset and I feel such a loser. Like I was back then. Even writing about it sets me off.

I hate it when this happens.

Clem.

FRIDAY, APRIL 8

Dear Gram

‘Do you remember where we finished last time?’ That’s how the Rev starts off in session. Do I ever? One sentence from him and my heart starts racing. But this time I’m going to stick it out.

Well, I will try to tell you the rest of our session coz it got so I was about ready to start crying before and that was pretty terrible coz it made me feel like some emo loser. At least the Rev didn’t say what it looked like from his point of view and it got so I could tell him about how Dad never listened to me about that teacher back in primary school.

Why didn’t Dad listen to me back then? That’s what I want to know. Even to talk about it here makes me want to get Dad’s neck in one hand and a blunt instrument in the other. Just like back then. But you can’t do that when you are only ten years old.

The Rev must have been shocked when I told him how I used to feel back then.

Well I don’t mind giving the Rev a bit of a shocker coz it was me that lived through it all and I was only a kid and it’s no wonder the teachers had to send me home so much and not even Dad would believe me when I told him about that teacher doing that weird stuff. Anyway, he should be in jail for doing that to a little kid. Why don’t they put guys like that in jail, Gram?

I’m going to stop, even if the Rev does think all this writing stuff is so important.

Love from

Clem.

TUESDAY, APRIL 7
THIS IS THE HARD BIT