Things No One Will Tell Fat Girls (6 page)

As men were drafted, their absence created a large labor need, and the country encouraged (middle-class, white) women to fill it. These women took over jobs in factories and there learned that they were capable of much more than they ever knew. When the men returned, three million women then left the workforce and returned to the home with a new shift in consciousness.

In order to divert the female attention away from their previous work success, the concept of the “feminine mystique” was sold to every soon-to-be “June Cleaver” in America. The feminine mystique was the idea that a woman had just three roles in life: to be a good wife, a good mother, and a good homemaker. This relegated women to one area of life, keeping them preoccupied and entrenched in their newfound purpose. Magazines were influential and targeted women, capitalizing on “guilt over hidden dirt,” and yes, various cosmetics to assist in becoming the “hot wife” their husband “deserved.” Marketers made out like bandits by selling products to every female desperate to become the perfect domestic goddess. (A note: this “feminine mystique” or focus on women in the home was prominently sold to white females, as women from non-white backgrounds and ethnicities had almost all been working-class up until that point.)

Not surprisingly, many women who subscribed to the domestic trend eventually found themselves miserable while trying to exist within these limited identity confines, and the lure of employment started to glisten in the distance. When these women started to leave vacuuming, cooking dinner, and helping with homework for office work, advertisers needed to find a new gimmick, a new, evergreen, “briefcase-sized neurosis”—as Naomi Wolf puts it in
The Beauty Myth: How Images of Beauty Are Used Against Women
—that women could take with them to work.
⁵

And thus, two new brilliant industries were emphasized like never before:
Beauty and Youth.

The beauty and youth “religion” replaced the religion of domesticity, and, while the products changed, the invasion tactic was the same: Instead of being a heroine by raising children, you could now reach the same idol status by becoming beautiful (or, as we've established, “pretty”). Advertising agencies created a perfect version of a women that didn't exist, doesn't exist, and will never exist, and preached the gospel that in order to be okay, you must reach that (unattainable) ideal.

AND WOMEN BOUGHT IT. And we continue to buy it today.
After all, our bodies will
always
be with us, and we will
always
grow older. I mean, it's sickeningly brilliant and it's making billions upon billions of dollars as we speak. So, with that, I high-five the men on Madison Avenue for inventing a genius, exclusionary, and lucrative scheme, while simultaneously punching them in the crotch as hard as I can for ruining so many lives in the pursuit of money. Because of them, most of us are still imprisoned in our bodies.

The most frightening part of all? As females (and people in general) gradually find new ways to fight oppression and gain freedom from old rules, the myth of the “beauty ideal” keeps evolving to keep them distracted and entrenched in self-loathing. It's important to note that, while the focal points of the beauty ideal often change to maintain maximum control, several prerequisites have always been mandatory since the politicization of this ploy: thinness, whiteness, youthfulness, and the “flawlessness” that comes from visual alteration of photographs. ALL of these are still relevant today. Right here. Right now. But in
addition
to this, we also see a “social reflex,” or a new way to suppress women and their self-esteem whenever liberation is found. This has been a historical constant.

For example: when women decided to liberate themselves from the overly feminine look, magazines endorsed the “nude look” so women could look “natural” while still subscribing to the standard of pretty that they were trying to avoid. When women started to reclaim their reproductive rights, it is no coincidence that the average model weight dropped to 23 percent below the average woman's weight. But, as we silly women are wont to do, we've continued to liberate ourselves in new ways, year after year. And, so. In response, there's an always-evolving “beauty myth” (or definition of “pretty” and “desirable”) that introduces a new domination technique to compensate for each of our newfound powers.

What about today? Well, my generation (and the ones immediately surrounding it, to a certain extent) has become somewhat obsessed with visual diversity and inclusion. Because of this we are
starting to see more “alternative” bodies in the mainstream. Most notably, we're now seeing plus-size women in some fashion spreads. Because we're seeing some larger bodies in magazines and online, the standard of beauty is definitely shifting, but our new alteration of the beauty ideal is so insidious that most of us don't even realize that it's still keeping us preoccupied, insecure, and in a constant state of self-hatred. It's exactly as Naomi Wolf said: The beauty myth uses appearance to direct behavior. It's not about a woman's appearance at all, but rather the tractability of the person who tries to attain perfection.
⁶

Our current obsession is with a figure that
BuzzFeed
calls the “postmodern beauty.” What does our perfect body look like today? It's a combination of thin, but not
scary
super-thin; athletic, but only the kind that looks like you do yoga; strong but not too muscular; feminine; having a “thigh gap,” but not the “heroin chic” kind from the '90s; curvy, but still perfectly proportional; sexy, with boobs, but dear god not like Pamela Anderson (have some class already); poreless, but naturally so; and with a fit body that we see everywhere. Our society places the most value on a body that, without speaking, screams: HEALTH, VIBRANT HEALTH AND WELLNESS IS WHAT I EMBODY.

I'm here to propose something that I believe too few of us realize:
“Health” is our new “beauty myth.”

Health, and, by extension, fitness and wellness.
So says the super fat chick who loves cronuts
, many will scoff. This is most certainly not a popular opinion. Culturally, we tend to believe all diagnoses, opinions, and commentary from all medical “professionals.” We don't fuck with or question
anything
about health and medicine, including our infatuation with it. This, dear friends, at
the very least
, deserves questioning. And the reading of
Chapter 5
.

In the last few decades we, societally, have created some space to unpack the issues around body image. We've now had the conversation about how extreme eating disorders like anorexia nervosa aren't healthy so many times that some countries have started banning “unnaturally thin” bodies of a “skeleton” nature from runways, movies, and fashion spreads. We claim to be offended when this type of body surfaces and have no hesitation judging those bodies against the same ruler we use for fat bodies. Today, everyone seem to say: “Fat is horrifying, but
so is the extreme opposite
. It's important for EVERYONE TO BE HEALTHY!” This, my friends, is a perfect example of how health has become one of our main obsessions.

Now, preoccupation with exercise and healthy living isn't anything new. Not even remotely. Remember the '80s with aerobics, toned supermodel arms, and the wearing of sneakers with a dress suit? We've always valued health and wellness to an extent. After all, we've always had bodies that need maintenance, and we on a fundamental level want to take care of them! So, then, what's the difference? The
difference
between then and now is that our obsession with worth in relation to health is at an all-time high. Never before have we judged people's value, morality, and meaningfulness by their medical charts and their ability to run marathons.

This can be starkly highlighted by an Instagram account with over sixty thousand followers whose name and message is literally, “Healthy is the new skinny.” This is EXACTLY the issue. Plus-size workout companies also push this concept. Hard. We have replaced
Fen-Phen, Slimfast, and melba toast with the Paleo diet, CrossFit, and juicing. Now, don't misunderstand. There isn't anything inherently wrong with “clean eating,” strengthening exercises, or juicing. No way. It is our worshipping and utilization of them in order to become the ideal and “worthy” body type (and the guilt that comes if we don't) that is the issue.

It's fascinating how we've been fooled into feeling like we're reclaiming power by saying DON'T WORRY ABOUT YOUR SIZE, ONLY YOUR HEALTH! But really, what we're doing is taking the exact same process of body oppression and giving it a new name.

Our “diet industry” has become a “lifestyle change industry.” Same concept. Same strategy. Same outcome. Different mask.

It's rather effective. Think about how easily and automatically this excludes various groups of people. Who is instantly exiled the second health becomes the top measurement of worth? People with physical disabilities. People with chronic or incurable ailments. People who live in poverty and can't afford balanced meals. People who don't have the resources or education required to learn about how to take care of their bodies. People who live with a mental illness that doesn't allow them to take care of themselves at all. People so focused on just surviving that there isn't any energy left to focus on physical maintenance. Lots and lots of people who are unable to fully participate in our “wellness culture” because of the body and life they were born into. Defining worthiness by health and fitness level is not just about size discrimination. It's also about classism. Racism. Ableism. And much more. Thanks to this new “beauty myth,” far more people are unable to achieve not only the
body
that we say is acceptable, but also the
lifestyle
that we demand. It almost feels like we're looking at the most extreme form of elitism yet.

If we want to explore how extreme this beauty ideal has become, we need to look no further than a recently named eating disorder: orthorexia nervosa, also called “the health food eating disorder.” Now before you roll your eyes or laugh at this term, let me explain what it means. When we call something a disorder, it's because we've crossed
a line and that “thing” has started to affect our lives to the point where it's tremendously harmful. Eating an organic farm-to-table salad every day doesn't necessarily fall into disordered behaviors, but not being able to travel when you want to because you're worried about how clean the food will be? That may be. Limiting the types of foods you consume because it makes you feel good may not match the description, but feeling SO guilty for your “transgressions” when you don't follow your healthy eating rules that you spend the entire day loathing your existence? Maybe it's time to check in with yourself.

IMPORTANT SUMMARY: It's not the individual actions, but rather a pattern of obsession and the inability to function that becomes concerning. And understandably, these extreme behaviors are easy to adopt when you fully believe that your value, worth, and right to exist relies on how “healthy” you are.

Related to orthorexia is the fascinating term that professionals have started to use in conjunction with the trend of clean, raw, paleo, and health food movements: “righteous eating.” This very clearly and automatically associates type of food with virtue, and even notes the religious tone now connected with what we consume. This, I feel, is a perfect example of how we, as a society, have become devout members of the Wellness Church.