Thirty and a Half Excuses (34 page)

I shook my head. “Do you know if he even wants this?”

Her gaze hardened. “Do you?”

I didn’t.

Her eyes glittered with victory at my hesitation, and she offered a smile. “Rose, this life isn’t for you. I’ve watched you tonight. You struggled with what silverware to use. You’re poor white trash, and you live in that cesspool Fenton County. It’s no wonder you feel out of place and discouraged around Joe’s family and friends.” Her voice lowered. “The sad truth is that you’ll never fit in here. You have your place, and Joe has his. The sooner everything gets back to the way it should be, the better off everyone will be.” She patted my cheek. “I’m sure a street-smart girl like you can figure that out.” Then she turned and left me standing alone in the dining room.

Angry, I stormed to the living room, expecting Joe to be in the living room setting everyone straight, but he stood in the middle of a group of men, all of them patting him on the back with congratulations. He didn’t respond to any of them, looking shell-shocked.

Hilary stood to the side, her champagne flute in one hand. When she saw me, she lifted it and smiled, then took a sip.

I could either stand here and fight or turn around and leave. I wanted to fight. Fight for Joe and me. Fight and prove to every person who’d ever hurt me that I was done taking other people’s crap. But Joe stood in the center of the group doing nothing.

Why wasn’t he fighting for me?

I spun around and left the room.

Joe found me as I was climbing into my truck. “Rose!
Wait!”

I hesitated, unsure of what to do. Part of me just wanted to go home.

But he caught up with me, grabbing my shoulders. “I didn’t know he was going to do that. I swear.”

I looked up at him, clenching my jaw. “You’ve been doing a lot of swearing tonight, Joe.”

“You have to believe me. I didn’t know about any of this.”

I closed my eyes. “I believe you.”

Part of me was so hurt by this evening, and the rest of me was angry. The angry part won out. “How could you let Hilary make me look like a fool?”

For the first time tonight, he didn’t look apologetic. “We both know she asked you where you went to college to humiliate you, but asking someone about another person’s education isn’t usually considered a rude question. I was worried if I said something it would only make it worse.”

His answer infuriated me more than her behavior. “Why are you standing up for her?”

He looked defensive. “I’m not.”

“
Why was she here
?”

“I told you. Her family and mine have been lifelong friends.”

I walked toward the front of the truck, looking at the massive house in front of me. The truth sinking in. “She’s always going to be here, isn’t she?”

“Well…I…”

“She is, isn’t she?” I glared up at him. “You can’t let her go, can you?”

“No. That’s not true. I want
you
.” He pulled me to his chest, his mouth crushing mine.

Despite whatever had transpired over the last two days, I loved this man. My anger faded as I sank against him, grabbing his suit and pulling him closer. I wanted desperately to make this work.

Joe’s head lifted. “I love you, Rose. I want to marry you.”

My eyes widened. “What?”

He dug into his coat pocket and took out a ring box. “I planned to do this tomorrow. I planned to come home to you and tell you about the sheriff’s deputy job and propose then. Dinner and flowers and the whole works so I could make it romantic for you, but I don’t want to wait.” He pried the lid open, grabbing my left hand. “Rose Anne Gardner, I love you more than anything in this world, and I can’t imagine a life without you. I want to wake up with you every day, and I want to go to bed with you in my arms every night. I want to fill our house with children, and our lives with love and laugher.” He slid the ring onto my finger. “Rose, I’ve never been as happy as I am when I’m with you. I feel like I have everything I could ever want when we’re together. Please say you’ll marry me.”

I stared down at the ring, a large square diamond in the center, surrounded by smaller ones. “What about the senate race?”

He didn’t answer.

My heart sunk. “Joe, what do
you
want to do.”

“I want to marry you.”

I looked back at the house, but he tilted my chin to look up at him. “There’s only you and me. To hell with my parents. I’ve let them rule my life for too long. I’m going to go inside and tell them I’m done.”

“What did your father say to you when he dragged you from the room?”

Some of Joe’s excitement faded. “He told me this was the payment for the scrapes he’s gotten me out of. That I owed him.” His breath came in short bursts.

Did he want to do this? “Joe…I’m not asking you to choose.”

“I know. That’s what makes you even more amazing. You’re not the one who’s insisting I choose. They are. And this time they’ve gone too far.”

“Can you really tell him no?”

His body tensed. “He can’t force me to run for the senate.”

From what I’d seen of Joe’s family, I wasn’t so sure about that.

He caressed my face. “Why don’t you go home, and I’ll tell my parents off once and for all. I’ll come home, and then tomorrow we’ll start our life together.”

It sounded so perfect, almost too perfect. But what he was offering was what I’d wanted my whole life. Was I really going to give it up without a fight? “Okay.”

He kissed me again, pulling back reluctantly. “I love you, Rose. Go home, and I’ll be there soon.”

As I drove away, I looked back and saw him go through the front door, his hands clenched by his sides. Somehow, I knew that things would never be the same again.

Chapter Twenty-Six

It was close to nine-thirty by the time I got home. Muffy was overjoyed to see me, and once again, I was wracked with guilt for not spending enough time with her. But that would all change when Joe returned.

I wandered through the house, imagining what it would be like when he was here all the time, and my heart burst with a cloudy happiness. Now I wouldn’t be lonely.

My home phone rang—a rarity these days—and I wasn’t surprised that it was Violet. She was practically the only one who called me on it other than telemarketers.

“Rose, where have you been all evening?”

I sank into my sofa. “I went to meet Joe’s parents.”

“Tonight?”

“Yeah.”

“Why didn’t you tell me you were going?” She sounded wronged.

I sighed. “I didn’t mean to hurt you, Violet.”

She paused. “I know. You would never intentionally hurt me. Unlike me lately. I haven’t been a very good sister these past few months, and I know it.”

I really wasn’t in the mood for a heart-to-heart right now. “Look, Vi. Joe told me this weekend that his mother was getting more insistent about meeting me, but then he called after five today and told me they wanted it to be tonight.”

“You’re kidding.” Her voice was flat.

“No. And here’s your chance to say I told you so, because it was beyond awful.” My voice cracked, but I refused to shed any more tears over those horrid people.

“I don’t want to say I told you so. I want you to be happy.”

“Well, you’ve done a crappy job of showing it lately.”

Violet gasped, probably as surprised as I was by my bluntness. “I know. I’m sorry,” she finally said. “I think my guilt has been consuming me. That and jealousy.”

“Guilt over what? Mike?”

She hesitated. “In a way, yes.”

I sat up straighter. “What are you talking about?”

“Oh, Rose. I’m a terrible, terrible person. I’m afraid you’ll never forgive me, but I feel like I have to tell you.”

My heart started to race. I knew she had a secret. How many awful secrets could there be? “I love you, Violet. You’re my sister. Nothing’s ever going to change it.”

I heard her take a deep breath. “Do you remember the day before we opened the shop, how you asked me what people were saying about you?”

“Yeah, you wouldn’t answer.”

“They were saying you inherited all of Momma’s money, and I didn’t get a dime. They were saying you were rich, and that you were making me work at the nursery for free.”

I sank back into the cushions. “I already knew that, Vi. Mason and Neely Kate told me.”

“They did?”

“Yeah…so, see? There’s nothing to worry about.”

“That’s not all there is to the story.”

“What else is there?” I asked tentatively.

“Some people confronted me with it, offering their condolences on how horrible you were being.” She hesitated. “I didn’t correct them.”

I let her words sink in. “You let them think I was treating you horribly?”

“Yes,” she whispered.

“
Why
?” I didn’t know whether to be hurt or angry, so I latched onto both. “Why would you do that to me, Violet?”

“So people wouldn’t notice what I was doing.” Her voice was so quiet I could barely hear her.

My heart jolted again. “What were you doing?”

“I’ve been having an affair with Brody MacIntosh.”

I’d guessed it, but to hear her confirm it still felt like a punch in the stomach.

“Say something,” she whispered.

“How long has it been going on?” Maybe she thought going out with someone while you were separated counted as having an affair.

“Since April.”

“Oh, God.”

“I’m sorry.” She started to cry.

“You and Brody were both still married then. Mike didn’t leave until July.”

“I know.”

I took several deep breaths. “I don’t understand. You just started dating Brody last week.”

“No, we’ve been seeing each other at least twice a week since May. We just decided to start publicly dating last week.”

Of all the people in the world I’d thought capable of an affair, Violet was the last in line.

“Say something.”

A million questions ran through my head, but I had to pick one. “Do you love him?” That was stupid question. On Sunday, it had been obvious that she did.

“Yes, I love him.” She paused. “But Mike found out that we’re seeing each other and came over tonight to accuse me of having an affair.” She hiccupped through her tears. “I denied it. I know I should have told him the truth, but he threatened to take the kids. He said he’d sue for full custody.”

“Can he do that?”

“It happened to Sue Ellen Lewinski just last month.”

“Oh, Violet.” What a mess. “What are you going to do?”

“I told Brody I can’t see him for a while. Not until things die down. I can’t lose my kids, Rose.” She broke down again.

“I know. Everything will be okay.”

“I’m sorry I’ve been such a bitch lately.”

“I know.”

“Do you want to know the sad part?”

“What?” I asked.

“Brody asked me to marry him about an hour before Mike came over.”

I wanted to cry. How ironic that both Gardner sisters had been proposed to on the same night. How ironic that both proposals were so bittersweet. “I’m sorry. Give it time. It will all work out.”

“I was just so jealous that you and Joe were able to date out in the open. You’re so happy and it just felt so unfair. I took it out on you. I’m sorry.”

I had been happy…right up until a week ago. How quickly things changed. “I forgive you, Vi. Now go hug your kids and get a good night’s sleep, and I’ll see you tomorrow.”

When I hung up, I stared at the ring on my finger for several minutes. Joe had proposed, and I was wearing the ring, but I hadn’t really given him an answer yet. Was I going to say yes?

If he had asked me two days ago, I would have in a heartbeat. Now I was hesitating. The question was why.

I could give a million reasons for why I should marry him and part of me wanted to rush headlong into it, but I’d seen so many people run blindly into marriage, only to pay the price further down the road. I didn’t want to be Violet and Mike, fighting over the custody of our kids.

Maybe instead of looking at the reasons I should get married, I should look at reasons
not
to.

I grabbed a piece of paper and put a magazine behind it as I laid back in the cushions and wrote
Why I Shouldn’t
Marry Joe
:

1.
He snores

2.
He leaves his shaving cream gunk in the sink.

3.
He forgets to close the bread bag.

4.
He mixes up the laundry.

5. He buys the wrong salad dressing brand.

I listed twenty-four items, and I examined my list. Was the fact Joe left his socks on the floor a real reason not to marry him? This was a list of petty excuses. If I was going to write this list, I had to be honest with myself and look at the real issues.

25. Joe’s parents hate me
.

Their hatred was so palpable I didn’t see how we could ever survive as a couple unless Joe disowned his family. And as poisonous as they seemed to be, I would never ask him to do that.

26. I don’t think I want to be a politician’s wife
.

I couldn’t say that I wouldn’t, but I needed time to think about it. He couldn’t just spring it on me and expect me to give up my entire life.

27. He wants me to give up my entire life
.

That wasn’t true, or at least I didn’t have any proof of it. But I was smart enough to know that being married to a politician meant going to a ton of social functions, and I didn’t think I was cut out for that.

28. He hates when I help people who are in trouble
.

That wasn’t entirely truthful either. He hated when I got mixed up in things that got
me
into trouble, but there was no doubt that if he had his way, I wouldn’t have hired Bruce Wayne to work for me. He truly didn’t understand my need to help people like me, even though, oddly enough, he loved me for it. Did I want to fight him on things like that all the time?

29. He hates me talking to Mason
.

After tonight, I understood his reasoning. I hated for Joe to have anything to do with Hilary. But Joe and Hilary had known each other since they were kids, and for a lot of those years they’d been sleeping together. Mason and I had only been friends for a couple of months, and we had never been romantic. I sighed. The truth was, if Joe and I got married, Mason and I could no longer be friends, especially since I knew Mason liked me. That wouldn’t be fair to Mason or Joe. But if I loved Joe, why did the thought of giving up Mason hurt so much?