Thirty-Eight Days (14 page)

He needed to take this slowly. She had done everything so surprisingly. If anything, it was Noel that needed to make this last.

"Okay, give me a second to think of a first question."

No boundaries and no limits brought with it so many possibilities. He needed to start safe before he asked the one question that was burning him inside. Noel knew even though he said no boundaries and she had agreed, he had to be compassionate towards Clara.

"Did I
hurt you?" he asked without a thought.

Damn it, Noel! Compassionate my ass!

"Oh," she mouthed. "Simple answer, yes," she responded, and the guilt infested him.

"I'm sorry, Clara. I really am. Is there's anything I can do to make it up to you?" he asked, looking into her eyes, the gold returning in them. Their colour, so unique and so beautiful, had the ability to draw in anyone.

"That's two," she stated.

"Two?"

"Yes, two. You have one question left for the day." She grinned.

That goddamn smile! She has to be too freaking adorable!

"That wasn't one of the questions I wanted to ask." Noel laughed.

"Tough, you asked. And
this
is enough. You and me, getting to know each other properly, it’s enough. Letting me have the chance to get to know you. Letting me know you as more than just the boy I once grew up with." A soft and sincere smile developed on Clara’s face.

"Okay, my turn!" she replied quickly before he could respond.

She wants to get to know me. I’ll let her. I can’t deny her what she wants. Not this time.

"Do you miss Boston?" Clara asked with a look of wonder in her eyes. He simply shook his head.

"No?" she asked, tilting her head slightly at him.

"No. Didn't think I'd answer so quickly, but no. I don't miss Boston. To be completely honest, there's nothing there for me anymore."

"Anymore? Something changed your mind about Boston?"

You.

Noel let the thought sink in. Who'd have thought Clara Lawrence would be
the
reason for him wanting to stay? Not because he promised her brother he'd look after her, but because he wanted more. He couldn't admit it out in the open, not yet anyway.

"I never liked Boston. I thought I did, but I don’t. I just got tired of it. Now that's two, Clara."

She bit her lip as she hummed; when she released her lip, the colour was mesmerising. It was the shade of dark yet vibrant red that looked matte against her flawless skin tone. He looked away. He wanted her lips on his. It was tempting, but he knew it was a Q&A between friends. Noel would never be able to have more with Clara. Too many factors went against them and him.

I can't bend the rules with Clara, no matter how much I want to break them.

"Fine, but fair is fair. Okay, last one for you then, Noel. Umm… Okay, I've got it! Why are you so hot and cold with me?" Those big brown eyes would be his undoing.

"Hot and cold?" He played dumb on her question.

“Yes, one minute I feel like we can get along, and the next you hate me. Worse than when I was fourteen," Clara clarified.

What was he meant to say to her? It was easier when Clara was fourteen. He never found her attractive, never gave her a second thought. Now, five years later, she'd changed his whole perspective of her. Clara gave him
something so unexpected that he wasn't sure if he could function without her near him. It was stupid. They'd only been together five days. He was being stupid.

But this between them, getting to know each other, it was doing something to him. He was seeing Clara for her, not the clingy fourteen-year-old she used to be. Not the desperate revenge-seeker she was from last night. Just Clara, just her honest to God self, and it was making strange unknown feelings develop within him.

I’m in trouble.

"Clara, I’m sorry. I don't know why I'm like that. I
don't
hate you. Just know that. If I’ve come across as hating you, then I am sorry. I came here as a favour for Alex, and well, you weren't what I was expecting. It's taken some time to adjust,” Noel explained as best as he could.

It was the honest truth, because Noel didn’t know. He didn’t know how he
felt towards Clara. One minute his heart raced for her, wanting nothing more than to sweep her in his arms, and then he was protective over her, causing unwanted emotions to come pouring out.

Clara stilled, looked almost bothered for a second, and then she shrugged. She smiled before taking a sip of her hot tea. She looked satisfied with his answer. It may have given him enough time to understand what he was feeling. If Alex knew Noel had these emotions towards any other girl, he'd call him a lovesick puppy and pour pint after pint of beer down his throat.

What the hell has happened to me?

The thought overwhelmed him; he ran his hand through his hair. Clara was messing with his brain, not in the way where his heart would be thanking him for its
destruction. Because that’s what Clara Lawrence could do to him, and it scared the absolute shit out of him.

He watched as she placed her teacup down and smiled, sending shivers down his spine. If only she knew how his body reacted towards her, that his limbs went weak for her.

"Okay, your turn to ask me one last question." It was almost a dare, but Noel couldn't hold back. He had to know.

“Did you love
him?" It was simple, but yet it was so complicated to ask. He had to reword his initial question,
"Do you still love him?"

Clara's lids dropped; her eyes saddened. She turned her head slightly and looked out the window.

Ahh hell!

When she looked back again, the sadness was still there, but masked by a faint smile; it was heartbreaking to see. It was a matter of when, not if, he found Darren. Noel was sure Darren would need stitches for what he did.

"I thought I did," she replied as she stared at her empty teacup.

"I met him right after high school; he was persistent. I held off for so long during the summer. I thought when uni started I'd never see him again. So turning him down all the time was easy. But then orientation week started and he approached me from across the courtyard. I thought it was destiny, you know. Foolish me." Clara let out a short laugh. She couldn’t deceive him. Noel knew she was still hurt.

"I let myself fall for him. He promised we'd wait, and I appreciated it. See, no one in high school was interested, so I was obviously flattered at his attention. And for a moment in time, I felt special, and I think that's when I thought I fell in love with him, but I can't be too sure. In fact, I'm not even sure to this day, but I have this nagging feeling in me that tells me I didn't love him. But I cared for him. I well and truly cared for him." Noel saw it in her eyes, she loved Darren in a way he didn’t understand, but he knew she
wasn't
in
love with him.

“No one told you this part of my story, did they?” she asked, breaking through his thoughts.

“No.”

“Well, let me explain,” Clara said, meeting his stare.

“You don’t have—”

She shook her head, stopping him. “I want to. It’ll shed some light on me. We’re getting to know each other, right?” A sweet smiled graced her face.

“Right,” he agreed, slightly scared of the past she was willing to share with him.

“
I
t was mid-semester break, and I was almost done perfecting a cupcake when I remembered about the party our uni held. Darren had begged and pleaded for us to go, but I told him I wanted to work. But then I changed my mind. When I got there, I couldn’t find him, so I went out looking for him. Stevie tried to stop me, but I kept refusing until she gave in and followed me.

“I found Darren after we walked out to the field. He had Elizabeth against a tree, having sex with her. He told her he loved her, and it broke my heart. He never told me he loved me, and it was painful. I went to leave and tripped on a branch. Darren saw me and begged for me back. I told him it was over and that he humiliated me in front of everyone. I was glad that I had Stevie there. She made sure Elizabeth didn’t say a word.” Clara paused and looked down at the table.

“He never denied that he loved her, because he couldn’t. It was the only truthful thing about him.” Clara didn’t notice the lone tear that slide down her face until Noel reached over and wiped it away with his thumb. The contact alone made her shiver. It felt like more than just electricity. It felt deeper, igniting her body and her senses. When she looked up to him, their eyes met and she smiled. Noel didn’t interrupt her once. He let her talk and it was refreshing.

He’s not the boy I once knew.

“I didn’t know. I’m sorry, Clara,” he said softly with more emotion than she expected.

“Don’t be. Your dick wasn’t in a whore, was it?” She shrugged. Her response alone caused Noel to tense, his hands forming fists and his eyes filling with rage.

“He shouldn’t have done that to you!” he growled. Noel needed calming down. Clara felt a sense of protectiveness string from his voice, and the look in his eyes told her he wasn’t kidding. She rose from her seat and crouched in front of Noel, placing a hand on his cheek.

“Noel, it’s okay. It doesn’t hurt me anymore,” she said, trying to bring him back. His green eyes were glassy and his body was strung up tight. She caressed his face until he shook his head lightly and placed his hand on top of hers, causing her to flinch. His touch was tender yet she felt the callousness of his hand on hers.

Walls, Clara, remember your walls!

But the thought didn’t disarm her. She simply kept her hand on Noel’s cheek and met his eyes. There was no denying the fact that she felt safe with him.

“Clara, I wouldn’t hurt you like that,” he said. She tensed, her eyes going wide.

Fear and panic filled her body. She didn’t expect Noel’s response. They were inches from each other, and he was looking at her in a way she’d never seen before. He must have realised it, too, because he hastily removed his hands from on top of her’s and said, “
Fuck!
” The fury and annoyance clear in his tone.

Clara’s heart dropped at his reaction. He hated that he held her close. He hated that intimate moment between them; it wasn’t meant to happen.

“I’m sorry. I have to go,” he said quickly, and stood up. Clara followed suit, staring at the floor instead of him.

“I’m sorry, Noel.” It was too soon to tell him. She felt the remorse; he may not have liked that moment
they shared, but Clara did. She felt like it was something she needed, something she was missing
,
nothing ever coming close to that moment. Her body felt like it
finally
found its home and it made her believe
they
had hope.

“No, Clara. God, don’t be! Thank you for telling me,” he told her as he returned his hands to both her cheeks. A blush formed and warmth ran across her body.

“I’m just angry at him. Not you, never
you, Clara,” he breathed out and closed his eyes. When he opened them, he sighed and a smile touched his lips. Those green eyes sparkled, and she loved the sight of them.

“I have to go; I’ll see you tonight for dinner,” he said. It was more of an instruction than a question, and she simply nodded in his hands.

“Good.” Noel bent down and softly placed a
kiss on Clara’s forehead. He held his lips against her skin for a moment and then he looked at her. Noel smiled before closing in on her ear and whispering, “Thank you for trusting in me enough to tell me.”

Noel let his grasp on her go and Clara watched him turn, wave bye to Danny, and exit the bakery. He left her standing there shocked and surprised.

Did he just?

Something in her started to brew. A desire. No. A
need
for Nolan Parker began to develop. If she didn’t put a stop to such feelings soon, she’d be in a world of trouble.

You can’t go falling in love with Nolan Parker and expect to come out scratch-free.