This Is Not That Dawn: Jhootha Sach (31 page)

‘When?’ Puri was not ready for this unexpected news.

‘Several other people were here when Tara came. They all left, one after the other.’

Puri felt very annoyed at not having Tara’s help at such a critical time. As he walked back towards the square, his anger kept growing: What’s Tara doing? She’d come to meet Surendra; so why had she gone to the party office?

Kanta’s car was no longer parked outside the gali. They had dropped Kanak off. He thought of another plan. He hired another tonga. He would pick up Tara from the party office and ask her to go to Kanak’s house and he himself would wait outside the gali as before. He had put four rupees in his pocket with the idea of going to a restaurant with Kanak and speaking with her at length. All that money was being wasted on hiring tongas, but what could he do?

He asked the tongawallah to go quickly to the party office on McLeod Road. As he got down from the tonga outside the office, he saw Hira Singh and Parmanand coming out of the gate in the boundary wall of the two-storeyed building.

‘Did Tara come here with Surendra?’ he asked them.

‘Surendra is upstairs,’ Hira Singh replied. ‘Tara left with Asad. You had sent for Asad, hadn’t you?’

‘What?’ Puri said in surprise. He thought for a moment, then had to say, ‘Yes, yes, but I got delayed.’

To avoid more questions Puri returned to his tonga and climbed back into it. He was puzzled: ‘I sent for Asad? When? Tara is alone with Asad? Is that Surendra’s doing? What are these shady goings on! What’s Tara up to?’

Maybe he should go inside and ask Surendra, but then he thought, what if she gave the same answer?

Puri was sitting in silence, so the driver asked, ‘Where to now, babu?’

Puri’s brain finally clicked into gear again. Wherever Tara was, he thought, she’d come back to Surendra’s. ‘Amrtitdhara,’ he replied.

The driver turned his horse around, flicked the reins over its back to
smarten it up, and called to it, ‘Get going, lad! And God go with you!’

The tonga was going past the Venus restaurant when Puri called out to the driver, ‘Stop! Stop!’

Tara was coming out of the restaurant, followed by Asad.

Tara was climbing the stairs to Surendra’s house when she heard gabbling voices and laughter. Her steps slowed at the realization that a crowd was present. She saw Hamid, Zuber, Sneha, Zubeida, Pradyumna and Surendra; Narendra Singh and Asad were missing. Surendra waved to Tara to call her over to where she was sitting.

Hamid was just saying to Zubeida, ‘If you forgot your bag at the party office, you can pick it up tomorrow when you go back.’

‘Arrey bhai, my burka is in it,’ Zubeida replied anxiously. ‘How can I go anywhere inside Bhati Gate without wearing my burka? When we are about to leave, get on your bicycle and fetch it. You’re such a sweet boy.’

‘Go, yaar, and get it!’ Pradyumna slapped Hamid’s back to encourage him to listen to Zubeida. He turned to Surendra, ‘Meanwhile, dear sister Surendra Kaur-ji, could we please have a cup of tea?’

‘This is no time for tea!’ Zubeida objected.

‘If you ask me, it’s quite the right time for tea,’ Zuber said.

‘It is indeed the time for tea,’ said Pradyumna. ‘Then we’re off to Bagwanpura. Do you imagine our mothers and sisters will be waiting there to serve us tea! In our attempts to bring peace, we may ourselves be left to rest in peace. Who knows? If we’re going to die, let’s at least have some tea from sister Surendra Kaur before that.’

‘You do shoot your mouth off, don’t you?’ Zubeida said in irritation.

Zuber said, ‘
Bebe
, sister, you told us yesterday that your aunt’s daughters volunteered to go and bring guns and other arms from Bahawalpur. Will those guns be used for halal killing of chickens?’

‘That’s enough! Stop talking rubbish!’ Zubeida told him.

‘I’ll ask my mother to give you all tea,’ Surendra said. ‘I have to go with Tara.’

‘Wah, Kaurji, what’s the fun of having tea when you’re gone!’ Pradyumna said teasingly.

‘Why, do you plan to put me instead of tea leaves in the teapot with boiling water?’ Surendra shot back. ‘I’ve got to go.’

Zubeida interrupted her, ‘Hai,
sukhkhi-sandi
, may everyone stay happy
and healthy. You’re all always talking about unhappy things.’

Surendra finished her sentence, ‘I have to go to the party office with Tara.’ She held Tara’s arm and led her to the door.

As they both went downstairs, Surendra said, ‘Asad bhai came around at three o’clock. Couldn’t stay long. They’re all going on a peace mission to Bagwanpura. Asad bhai is looking after the organizing side at the office. He asked you to come over.’

Asad was sitting at a table talking with Hira Singh, Parmanand, Chopra, Mahajan and a few others. He said to Surendra and Tara, ‘Wait a second.’ He finished whatever he was saying to the others, and said, ‘I’ll be back in fifteen or twenty minutes. Puri has sent for me.’

He went down with Tara. After they reached McLeod Road, he asked, ‘What’s the matter? You seem very worried.’

‘Yes,’ Tara could not say anything further.

‘I went to Surendra’s yesterday, and also the day before that, hoping that you’d come. I was there several times before that too. Once I passed through your gali, but didn’t ask for you at your house, thinking that if Puri was at home, he’d come down alone, and if he wasn’t, you still wouldn’t be able to come down alone.’

‘Yes,’ Tara managed to get some words out of her tensed throat. ‘Let’s sit down somewhere and talk.’

Asad and Tara walked to the Venus restaurant nearby.

Inside the restaurant, Asad raised the curtain of a booth for Tara to go in first, and asked, ‘Do you want tea or coffee?’

Tara waved her hand without speaking.

The waiter came. Asad said to him, ‘Two cups of coffee.’

‘Tell me now, what’s bothering you?’ he asked, leaning on the table between them.

Tara’s desperation and anxiety gathered into her eyes and showed on her face, ‘Where do you want me to stay? I’ve left home.’ She had neither the time nor the patience to talk in roundabout terms.

‘What?’ As he bent forward, Asad’s face froze in surprise.

‘I can’t go back now. They’re getting the trousseau ready for my wedding. My tayaji has told me not to sit for my exam, and has forbidden me to leave the house. We were told that Somraj had threatened that if I refused to marry him or continued to go around alone, he’d shame me in front of everyone in the bazaar. Today I somehow managed to get out of the house. Even that
won’t be possible in future.’ She looked into his eyes as she spoke.

Asad bit his lip. He clutched his hair in his right hand, and rested his elbow on the table. He said, after a few moments’ thought, ‘What did Puri say? He was against your marrying Somraj.’

‘He didn’t say a word. He doesn’t have the guts any more. Ever since he lost his job, he’s unable to stand up to anybody. He’s even helping to get the trousseau together for me. He’s changed. He’s worried about his own problems.’

‘What do you mean?’

‘He has no job. And Kanak’s family has probably told her not to meet him. He’s very frustrated.’

‘All the more reason for him to help.’

‘No, no,’ Tara stopped him. ‘He’s only concerned with himself. He takes no stand when it comes to me. He doesn’t have the confidence that he had before.’

Asad thought for some time, his hand holding his hair. The waiter placed the coffee cups on the table.

Asad took a deep breath, ‘Tara, what are we to do now?’ He thought for some moments more before continuing, ‘Where could I put you up at such short notice? It’ll cause a storm. You know about Pradyumna and Zubeida. The party has refused to give them approval to marry for the time being. They’ve been told to cool off for some time. At this time I can’t bring up any questions of us. I can’t do anything without the party’s permission. It’s against the rules and, in the present situation, against common sense.’

‘But what am I to do? There’s no other way out for me.’ Tara looked into his eyes. ‘Didn’t you tell me?’

‘I did, and I’m saying it again now.’ He leaned closer to her, and said, ‘But I’ll have to get the party’s permission. Just look at the situation in the city. All our efforts have gone for nothing after that outrage at the workshops. Where would you be able to live, away from home?’

‘Outside Lahore, in some other city?’

‘Who would give me permission to leave Lahore at this time? How can I even ask for permission. How did you reach the party office?’

‘I went to Surendra’s place with my brother.’

‘That was dangerous! Puri would ask Surendra where you went? The party would be involved for no reason.’

‘The party is everything to you! Don’t I mean anything at all?’ Tara’s tears rolled down her face and fell into her coffee cup.

‘Listen,
jaan
!’ Asad said tenderly. ‘Don’t be so down-hearted. We have to think about the times and our situation. You are mine and I am yours, but I have to be loyal to the party also. We have to get over this problem. We have to wait until the time is ripe. Have some patience. Let things cool down a bit. We’ll find a way.’

‘I may not live that long,’ Tara lowered her eyes.

‘Don’t say that. We’re all facing very tough times. We all have a duty to defuse the tension, or none of us may come out of this alive.’

‘It’s not possible for me to go on living now.’ She dried her tear-filled eyes with a handkerchief crumpled in her hand.

‘I know you’re in a terrible situation, but be brave. Weren’t you brave enough to want to leave home? You do have courage.
Meri
jaan, use that courage now to face your family, to bear with them a bit longer.’

‘I wouldn’t have asked for your help at this time if I could do that.’

‘You’re right. We all know that in our society a woman’s life is nothing but pain and tears. We must be ready to break those chains, even at the cost of our lives. But at this time, we must think first of our people and our nation, before dealing with our individual emotional problems. We’re all in danger. We have to face this collective problem first, and only then our individual problems.’

‘How long will that take?’ Tara let out a deep sigh as she asked the question.

‘How can I say, jaan?’ He said tenderly in Punjabi. ‘If I could help you, I’d do so right now. I wish we didn’t have to part even for a moment, but we can’t ward off the threats and the danger just by wishing them away. It might take any length of time, four, six months, a whole year. I hope not, but it may take my whole lifetime.’

Tara dropped her head in disappointment.

Asad continued in a soothing tone, ‘Trust me, my love, you’re with me, every breath I take. It’s our misfortune, nothing more, that we’re in this jam. Ninety people have lost their lives since last night. What can I say about that idiot Somraj! Even your parents had to create a problem for you at this very moment. I went to visit the family of a young man killed in the bomb explosion at the workshops. He’d got married only last month. His wife’s hands still carried the henna dye from the time of her wedding. I
can still see his mother and his new bride weeping and beating their chests in mourning. Even if it means having a heart of stone, my love, there’s no way out for us but to control our feelings.’

Tara listened in silence, her head bowed.

‘What do you say?’ Asad asked.

‘For me, there’s no other way out but to kill myself,’ she replied, still looking down.

‘Don’t say that, my love,’ Asad said. ‘Your killing yourself will achieve nothing. Otherwise I would have killed myself first, or even died with you. At this time it might backfire. It might put other people’s lives in danger.

‘We believe,’ he said in a grave voice, ‘that we’re fighting for justice and the right to exist. To sacrifice your life in the cause of justice might be noble, but why let yourself be a sacrificial victim on the altar of injustice? We must fight for justice always. If death comes, let it be in the fight for justice, not in surrender to injustice.’

Tara remained silent.

‘What do you say?’

‘I have nothing to say about anything.’ She swallowed her tears and again wiped her eyes. ‘Let’s go,’ she said.

‘All right,’ Asad said. ‘We can’t stay here, anyway. The others are waiting for me. But give me your promise that that you’ll help me and yourself too, by being patient and strong in this trying time.’

‘Don’t ask me for anything.’

‘Why do you say that, my love? Listen, we all feel that we have to stand up for what is just and right. I’m sure Puri would help us in finding a way out if he was told about it.’

‘I don’t know.’ Her eyes again brimmed with tears. She bit her lip in an effort to control herself, and said, ‘I’ve told you everything about my family and my neighbours. They all think that it’s their duty and obligation to send me off to be sacrificed.’

Asad said after some thought, his head bowed, ‘Tara, don’t think of me as a weak person. I promise you that I’ll fight to the end to be with you, and I’ll face whatever may come my way to make you mine. I have faith in you that you too will somehow find the courage to face up to things.’

Tara remained silent, her head down.

Looking intently at her, Asad said in English, ‘I have faith that you’ll be brave enough to overcome this problem.’

Tara shook her head in a firm denial.

Asad took a deep breath, and said, ‘Why don’t you let me speak to Puri? He can’t just go on ignoring this injustice to you.’

‘I don’t have much hope. I kept quiet at first because he assured me of his support. Now he’s changed. I told you that he even helped in the preparations for the wedding. He surely doesn’t mind using me as a messenger to Kanak. Something’s not quite right between them, I think.’

‘Has she changed her mind, or is it her family that’s creating some problem? They didn’t seem to be the interfering type.’

‘Who knows?’

‘Anyway, what’s wrong with speaking to Puri?’

‘I can’t stay at home if he refuses to help.’

‘Does he suspect anything between us?’ Asad asked in English.

‘I’m not sure.’

‘Can he refuse to help?’