This Is So Not Happening (16 page)

“Yes, my daughter is pregnant, okay?” she half-cried, half-screeched. “And this party is officially over.”

Then she yanked her hand away from Mrs. Moore, turned, and stormed out. The whole room was consumed by whispers and questions and some laughter. I walked over to Ally and her mom. Ally kind of robotically took my hand. I squeezed her fingers, but she didn’t squeeze back.

“Well, I guess we should—”

“Jake?” Mrs. Appleby’s voice stopped me cold. She had her coat over her arm and she snapped her fingers at me from across the room. “Chloe’s asking for you. Let’s go.”

My mouth fell open. Every single pair of eyes in the room was on me. I felt like someone had jammed a dirty sneaker into my throat, making it impossible to speak or breathe.

“Let’s
go
,” she ordered me.

I turned to Ally. Her eyes were shining. She dropped my hand, crossed her arms over her stomach, and looked at the floor.

“Um, you have a ride, right?” I said.

“Of course she does,” her mother said, putting her arms around Ally’s shoulders. Her mouth was this ugly thin line, and she looked like she wanted to put me in a chokehold. Guess
someone had figured out for sure what was going on around here.

“Okay. Thanks. I’ll call you later?” I said to Ally.

She barely nodded. I turned around and strode across the room, trying to keep my head up. When I passed Hammond he shot me a death glare. I paused and looked him in the eye.

“Well,” I said. “There you go.”

I couldn’t help it. Then I followed Chloe’s mother out to the car. Her dad was in the front seat. Dr. Nathanson was in the back with Chloe. I got in next to her and she fell sideways into me, resting her head on my lap.

“Do you think the baby’s okay?” I asked Ally’s almost-stepfather.

“It wasn’t that bad of a fall,” he said, his face stiff. I was sure he was judging me. Realizing his fiancée’s daughter was going out with someone else’s baby daddy. “But we won’t know anything for sure until we get her to the hospital.”

The hospital. My throat felt dry and coarse.
Please just let the baby be okay. Please just let the baby be okay.
Chloe was crying, but totally silent. I had no idea what to do with my hands. Then I noticed her hair was over her face, so I brushed it back behind her ear. It took a few swipes, but she stopped crying. So I just kept doing that, all the way to the emergency room.

The garage door scrolled open in front of us. My mother and I sat there in silence. Just like we had the entire drive from the city. My mother put the car in park and I held my breath.

Here we go.

“So, are you going to tell me what’s going on?” she asked.

“As if you haven’t figured it out already,” I replied acerbically, toying with the strap on my black evening bag.

She shifted in her seat, angling her back against the door and her knees toward me.

“Why don’t you try me?” she asked. “Because I’m hoping that what I’m imagining is actually worse than the truth. That’s often the case with parents, fyi. Our imaginations are hugely overactive.”

I scoffed and shook my head. My eyes stung like they’d been branded. The moment I’d been dreading for so long was finally here, but I somehow couldn’t believe it was happening. I couldn’t believe I was going to have to talk to my mother about this. I decided for the Band-Aid approach. Quick and painless. Well, quick, anyway.

“Okay, here it is. Over the summer when Jake and I were broken up, he and Chloe had sex. Apparently they made a baby. So now, here we are.”

My mother stared. “How long have you known about this?”

“Since the night before school started,” I said, then braced myself.

“That long? Ally!” My mother dropped her hand into her lap and raised her eyes to the heavens. “How could you have kept this a secret?”

“It’s not like it was easy, okay?” I said, my voice breaking as I turned my palms to the sky, my hands in my lap. “But it wasn’t my secret to tell! Chloe’s parents didn’t even know about it.” My mother had this incredulous look on her face. Like our relationship should have trumped everything else.
I looked down at my lap again. “Besides, you’ve kind of had other things on your mind.”

“Oh, don’t do that. Don’t act as if the wedding prevented you from confiding in me,” she snapped, annoyed. “I knew something was up with you. I
tried
to talk to you. You wouldn’t tell me.”

I gazed out the windshield, frozen. She was right, of course. She’d asked and I’d lied. But I just didn’t feel like talking about this right now. This wasn’t my fault. None of it was. And all I cared about right then was finding out where Jake was. And, maybe a little bit, finding out if Chloe was okay. I couldn’t believe the way she’d just gone down. I’d never seen anything so scary in my life. For the first time in a long time, I remembered that she wasn’t just a villain. She was someone who needed taking care of.

I just wished, for the millionth time, that it wasn’t my boyfriend taking care of her.

“I’m sorry, okay? I am. I wish I’d told you, believe me. But now you know,” I said with a shrug. “Can we just go inside and see if Gray is back yet?”

“I need to ask you something,” she said.

I sighed, my shoulders slumping. So much for this conversation being over.

“Okay.”

“Have you … I mean, you haven’t … slept with Jake, have you?”

I never knew my body could get that hot that fast. “What? Mom! No! What do you think he’s doing? Running around school knocking everybody up?”

“I’m sorry!” she said, raising her hands. “It’s just when you
find out your daughter’s boyfriend has been sexually active, you start to wonder if—”

“Oh, God, Mom!” I groaned, gagging. “Please never say that again?”

“What? Sexually active? Well, it’s pretty clear he is, kiddo!” she replied indignantly.

“Okay, okay!” I was so uncomfortable I could have clawed my way out of the car. “Look, I’m not an idiot. I’m not Chloe.”

My fingers clenched into fists. I just wanted to end this awful night.

“I know you’re not, Ally. I know.” She reached over and patted my hand. She blew out a sigh, and I imagined it was pure relief. Until she said: “But we’re clear on everything, right? Condoms can prevent diseases, but they don’t always prevent pregnancy—”

I scoffed, my face prickling. “Yeah. Apparently not.”

She paused. “They used a condom?”

“I can
not
believe I’m talking about this with you,” I said, looking out the side window.

“But they—”

“Yes, okay!? They used a condom. Jake’s not an idiot either.”

Just kind of a slut
.

Suddenly I wanted to punch someone. Maybe myself. Maybe Jake. I wasn’t sure.

“Okay, well, that’s good. That’s … good to know. So are you okay?” she asked, tilting her head. “I can’t imagine it’s easy, the guy you love having a baby with someone else.”

A tear unexpectedly plopped onto my lap. I felt more coming and bit them back. “No, it’s not,” I said, my voice full. “But, Mom? Can we talk about this tomorrow? I’m tired. I just want to go inside and go to bed.”

She pressed her lips together and I could tell there were ten million more things she wanted to say, ten million more questions to ask. I was grateful beyond imagination when she faced forward, put the car in gear, and nodded.

“Sure, hon.” She sighed again and pulled the car into the garage. “Whatever you say.”

Everyone was watching me. At least that’s how it felt. Two hundred people, a dozen scantily clad cheerleaders, and a huge, face-melting bonfire, and they were watching me. I stood on the baseball field with Annie, David, Marshall Moss, and Marshall’s girlfriend, Celia Linklater—all five-foot-one, ninety-five pounds of her—a safe enough distance from the fire to not catch a spark, but close enough to stay warm, and tried to be inconspicuous. Marshall had been my prom date last year and was still a good friend, but I barely saw him because he was always with Celia. Still, I was glad they were both here tonight for extra support. Somehow I’d thought that the night-before-Thanksgiving football pep rally—a traditionally Norm-only event—would be a respite from the rumor mill. Apparently I was wrong.

“Oh, man. I forgot my flask! Did you guys bring a flask?” Annie joked, clucking her tongue.

I glanced in the direction she was looking and, sure enough, saw three members of the JV football team passing around a leather bottle. They couldn’t have looked more suspicious if they tried, their eyes darting around, their feet so close their toes were touching.

“Nope. Forgot the pot, too,” David said, sniffing the air, his hands jammed into the pockets of his varsity soccer jacket. “How does anyone get away with this stuff when there are cops and firemen everywhere?”

“Because half the cops went to our school and don’t give a crap,” Marshall said, wrapping his arms around Celia from behind. He had to bend down to rest his chin atop her curly brown hair. “Jason Krantz will probably confiscate all of it and have a party in his parents’ pool house.”

Celia laughed as the officer in question, who didn’t look a day over eighteen even though he’d graduated three years ago, strolled by with his shoulders rolled back, his head swiveling from side to side like he was auditioning for a new
Terminator
movie.

“Uh-oh, Ally,” Celia said suddenly. “Incoming.”

The little hairs on the back of my neck stood on end. I didn’t know Celia that well—only from the few times we’d hung out together—but being a peripheral friend, she knew all about the Jake/Chloe/Ally triangle situation. I looked over my shoulder. Lincoln Carter was strolling toward us, his hands in the pockets of his brown corduroy jacket.

I didn’t know what I had been expecting, but it wasn’t Lincoln. Celia and Lincoln were friendly, so I wondered if he’d maybe told her what had happened at the cast party and I suddenly felt betrayed. Prickles filled my stomach and I went hot around the collar, more in the spotlight than ever.

“Hey,” he said, pausing in front of me.

“Hey.”

I glanced over at my friends, then moved a few feet away. Lincoln followed. Luckily, the others took the hint and didn’t.
My throat was dry and tasted like ash from the fire. I licked my lips nervously and looked up at him.

“What’s up?”

He lifted his shoulders, keeping his hands in his pockets. “Not much. I guess I’m just wondering … how you are.” His expression was somewhere between concerned and hopeful. I didn’t get it.

“How I am?” I said dumbly.

He pressed his lips together, like he was maybe regretting coming over here. “Yeah, I mean. I heard about … you know, Jake and Chloe and I just wondered … if you’re okay.”

My stomach dropped. This felt completely wrong, talking about this with him. Lincoln had been my escape from the reality of my life. And now here he was, stepping right into the thick of it. It wasn’t his fault, I knew, but I didn’t like having him in my reality. I wished he’d stayed separate. I wished he’d stayed clean.

“Yeah, I’m okay,” I said. “I’ve known about it for a while, actually.”

“Oh. Really? So you guys are still …?”

My face burned. “Yeah. We’re still together. We’re fine. Better than ever.”

The hope died off his face and I felt the prickles in my stomach harden into a rock-hard ball. That was maybe overkill, but what was I supposed to do? I didn’t want him to go on thinking that he had a chance with me just because everyone now knew my boyfriend was gonna be a father.

“Oh. Okay.” His expression darkened. Like maybe he was seeing me in a different way suddenly. Like maybe he was
judging me for staying with a guy who was obviously a slut player.

He could join the club.

“Anything else?” I said, feeling defensive. I lifted my chin.

“Nope. I guess I’ll just … see you around.”

“Yeah. See ya,” I said softly.

He turned and was gone, walking back to his friends a lot quicker than he’d come. Guess if I ever
was
looking for a random hook-up in my future, it wasn’t going to be with him. Annie appeared at my side, watching him go.

“It’s too bad you two never smooched for reals,” she said. “Because
damn
.”

“Why don’t you go out with him, then?” I asked, annoyed. That conversation had left behind an icky, sticky feeling in my gut. I liked Lincoln. And I didn’t like the idea that he might think less of me now.

On the far side of the bonfire, the cheerleaders launched into some elaborate pyramid and the team began to gather together near the dugouts. I saw their coach looking over some notes and realized the show was about to start—the speeches and cheering and actual rallying. I’d never come to a football pep rally when I’d lived in Orchard Hill the first time, and I was kind of curious to see what went on.

“Welcome, everyone, to this year’s Orchard Hill High football pep rally!” the football coach suddenly shouted into the microphone.

As the baseball field filled with cheers, I glimpsed one maroon-and-gold jacket set apart from the rest. It was Will Halloran, running back and cocaptain of the team. He was
about twenty yards off from his teammates, at the end of the dugout—an area that was mostly in shadow. He was talking to someone, but I couldn’t see who.

“What’s Will doing over there?” I said, mostly just to change the subject. “Isn’t this his big night?”

As everyone turned to look, he shifted position and we saw that he was in a deep one-on-one with none other than Chloe Appleby. Her baby belly, which I guess she was no longer hiding, stuck out between the open flaps of her camel, leather coat.

My skin sizzled with intrigue. What the hell were Will and Chloe talking about? I’d never seen them speak to each other in my life. I’d noticed him looking at her longingly a couple of times this year, but I figured he was just suffering an unrequited crush. As we stared, Chloe gave a desperate gesture with her hand and Will touched her arm in a way that’s usually reserved for boyfriendly types.

“That’s … interesting,” Celia said.

“Ho. Lee. Crap.” Annie brought her hand to her forehead and turned around. Her eyes were so wide they were like doughnuts.