This Is True Love (Exclusive! #1) (9 page)

“You don’t want me.” Oh, God, why couldn’t she control her mouth?

Alex shook his head. “Don’t pull that bullshit on me.”

“Why is it bullshit?” she murmured. “My own husband didn’t want me.”

Before she could blink, he’d imprisoned her against the wall with his arms bracketing her. His eyes blazed down at her. “Don’t you
ever
compare me to him again.”

Fliss’s hard swallow echoed in her ears. More than just grumpy, he was seriously pissed off now. But she needed to know. “Then why don’t you want to kiss me? Is it me?”

His expression softened. “Of course it’s not you. Do I have to remind you that the tabloids would have a field day if they found out you and I got involved? Remember what they put you through over the past two years. The innuendoes. The outright lies. Do you want to go through that again?”

“I don’t care about the tabloids. I
do
care about how you feel.” She held her breath. How would he respond? Would he tell her she’d misunderstood his feelings for her? Tell her the vibe she felt crackling between them was one-sided?

She slowly released the air from her lungs. No, he wouldn’t.

He wanted her. His mouth might not confirm it, but everything else about him did. He practically vibrated with the effort to hold it in. His eyes—the way they ate her up, the unabashed desire pooling in them. The tension in his arms and hands, like he was struggling not to reach for her. The muscle ticking in his whisker-covered jaw. He could use a shave. The errant thought brought a smile to her lips. Slowly but surely, he returned the gesture. Her heart sped up in cautious optimism.

Haltingly, she reached up and caressed the hard line of his jaw, the prickly hair tickling her palm. Alex didn’t stop her, instead closing his eyes and turning into her touch. She shivered at how right the contact felt.

Until he grabbed her hand and drew it away from him.

Fliss’s lungs seized in panic. Maybe she’d misread him. Was he going to reject her after all?

A hot, open-mouth kiss to her palm calmed her fears and sent arousal racing through her veins. Still not daring to move too fast in case it was all a dream, she reached up with her free hand and pulled his head down to her waiting lips.

So right. So soft.

The softness lasted only a second. His masterful lips demanded entry. She willingly complied. As their tongues tangled in an intimate dance, her craving for him turned into a physical ache. An ache only he could ease. She crowded closer, wanting, needing to feel his hard body against hers. The kiss turned wilder. Harder. Stronger. He took everything he wanted, but so did she. How could she not? He tasted like sin she wanted to indulge in in the worst way.

Eventually, he gentled the embrace and eased away. “I can’t get enough of you.” The confession sounded ripped from his gut.

She gasped as he slipped one hand underneath her shirt hem and met her eager flesh. He flexed his fingers against her stomach, then held them there as though he needed to prove to himself that she was real. He stared at her, desire written all over his face. Then his hands went to work, quickly unbuttoning her shirt. “I want to see you.”

Fliss moaned when his large hands covered her breasts. Whimpered when he pinched her nipples, sending a dark dart of pleasure through her system. An arm wrapped around her waist and bent her back. At the first touch of his mouth on her flesh through her bra, she cried out.

Her bones liquefied in pure lust under his touch. Thank God he was there to hold her up. To drive her closer to the edge. His mouth skimmed up her chest to her neck, nipping her skin, driving her crazy. She wanted to return the favor. She swept her hands up his shirt, delighting in the rippling of his torso’s muscles. “You feel so good.”

Alex froze. His hands, his mouth, everything stiffened. “I can’t do this.”

The statement, though muttered, stabbed into her heart like a blade sharpened to the finest edge.

Her eyes flew to his. Resignation, confusion, but most of all, determination greeted her.

“What are you talking about? You were with me the whole time. You’re still holding me.” She winced at the unmistakable wobble in her voice.

He stepped back. Away from her. “I’m sorry. I let things go too far, but it’s not fair to you. You’re feeling vulnerable.”

Was he serious? Fury surged through her. She bridged the space between them in one quick stride and poked him hard in the chest. “Don’t you dare speak for me. I know what I want. Can you say the same?”

He scrubbed his right hand across his face. “It…doesn’t matter. Crescendo. Me and Keith. Stuff from the past. It’s too complicated. I shouldn’t have gone there with you.”

The little she knew about Alex’s childhood came to her in a rush. How Keith had befriended him when they were kids and asked his parents if Alex could come live with them because of Alex’s unstable home life. A childhood Alex hated talking about. She’d respected his wishes earlier and not pushed him to discuss it because she knew his upbringing hadn’t been easy, but Alex had risen above his past a million times over. It made no sense for him to keep using Keith’s act of goodwill as an excuse, especially knowing the type of person Keith had become. Apparently, the bond the two men shared was too strong to break.

She pulled the edges of her shirt together, needing to do
something
to protect herself from the cold that had seeped into her bones.

What a fool she was. He said it was complicated. Not that complicated. “Bros before hos, is that it?”

Alex flinched. Well, too damn bad if her blunt language was too much for him. Latching on to anger felt better than allowing the hurt hurtling through her body to consume her. She swung her gaze away from him and stared at the wall, concentrating fiercely on a spot where the cream paint had chipped.

“Fliss…look at me.”

She didn’t move. She didn’t dare. Not if she wanted to survive this humiliating experience without breaking into a million pieces.

“Please.”

She wanted to ignore the pleading note in his voice but couldn’t. She met his eyes and forcibly steeled herself against the swirling intensity she saw there.

“We’ve both admitted we misjudged each other,” he said. “We have to work together. I’d like for us to be friends.”

“Friends?” Her voice came out incredulous. Again—was he serious? Had he lost his mind? He wanted to be
friends
after everything they’d done—twice now?

“Yes.” His tone remained steady. His gaze, too.

“Fine,” she answered as calmly as she could, curling one hand into a fist, her fingernails digging into her palm. She welcomed the discomfort. It gave her something to concentrate on rather than her tattered emotions. “Whatever you say. I think it’s time for you to go.” She really needed him to leave before she lost it.

“Fliss…”

“Just go.” Her eyes stung, but she wouldn’t cry in front of him. She’d already made the mistake of making herself vulnerable to him, only to have him reject her. No need to embarrass herself further.

He didn’t move for what seemed like forever, but finally, his shoes clicked on the floor tiles as he walked away from her. The faint closing of the front door came next. A few seconds later, a car engine started. Only then did she sag against the wall and drag in a much-needed breath.

He wanted to be friends? That’s what people said to someone they were trying to let down easily.

The truth was he didn’t want her. Again.

The truth was she’d been rejected. Again.

She’d never forget walking into her bedroom to find her ex-husband in bed with another woman. She’d demanded to know how long his cheating had been going on. Was this the first time? How many other women had there been? She didn’t know why she’d needed a number, but she had. He’d said it was the only time, that he loved her and wanted to do right by her and make the marriage work. She’d wanted to believe him.

How could she not?

Her parents had never made her feel loved. Not really. They’d never had time or patience or desire to show or accept love from their only child. Not when there were meetings to attend, fights to have, silent treatments to engage in. Roberta had been the only steady loving influence in her life.

She’d had boyfriends. Typical teen romances that ended due to immaturity on either her or her boyfriend’s part. As she’d gotten older, she’d craved something deeper. A need that led to choosing the wrong guys. The worst ones had trampled all over her generosity, simply leaving and telling her they’d found someone else.

Still, she’d picked herself up and continued to hope. All she’d ever wanted was to find someone who saw her for who she really was inside and not just the person who posed for magazine covers and starred in movies. Who loved her as much as she loved him. Was that asking too much?

Keith was supposed to be her family, the one who offered emotional support, the one who would accept and appreciate the love that flowed so freely through her veins. How could she not believe he’d give her that? During their whirlwind courtship and even after they’d married, he’d said all the right things. Done all the right things. Or so she’d believed until she’d found him moaning another woman’s name.

They’d gone to counseling. But even as they’d talked to a therapist, as Keith cried the tears only a truly talented actor could produce, she could only think about how his behavior over the last few months now made sense. He’d been aloof with her, rejecting her advances more often than not, claiming he was tired from shooting his movie. She’d tried not to take the rejection personally, but the truth had hit her square in the face when she’d caught him. He didn’t need his wife to satisfy him when someone else was doing it.

But she’d put her devastation aside and tried to save her marriage. Tried to believe him when he’d said it wouldn’t happen again. Tried to make him interested in her again by turning into some type of sex goddess.

But it wasn’t enough. He wasn’t interested in saving the marriage or remaining faithful. He wasn’t interested in her. Eventually she’d admitted to herself that she’d been trying to save the marriage because she didn’t want to fail, not because the marriage was worth saving. She’d wondered if he’d ever been who she’d thought he was.

Tonight with Alex… God, she was so stupid. She’d been willing to toss aside her resolution not to get involved with yet another man who didn’t really want her because she’d thought the camaraderie she’d shared with him was real. That the moment in the parking lot was real. That the moments when his mouth and hands were on her were real. Wrong again.

Her chest seized as pain grabbed hold of her insides and twisted.

When would she realize going with what felt real didn’t make it so and believing it was real only led her down a path of pain and embarrassment? She and Alex didn’t even get along most of the time, so what made her think he was genuinely interested in her? He’d proven—again—that he wasn’t.

How was she going to face him tomorrow?

Her lips parted in a silent groan. Oh, God. They had a business meeting with Phillip Mansfield tomorrow. She didn’t have a choice.

***

Alex rubbed the back of his neck and stared at Fliss’s office door. He raised his fist to knock, but dropped his hand to his side before he completed the motion. What was he going to say? How was he going to act? Fuck. He sounded like a teenage boy working up the nerve to ask his crush out on a date. He hadn’t been this nervous in forever. Then again, he hadn’t done something as stupid as kissing Fliss after vowing to never do it again in forever, so it only made sense.

How could he have let things go so far?

Stupid, stupid question.

He’d been so sure of the control he exerted over himself. Maintaining control had never been a problem, even growing up in a place where a lot of kids got involved in drugs or gangs. In the face of peer pressure and despite the temptation of money or oblivion from a horrible situation, he’d always been able to stand his ground and say no, knowing better things awaited him. Only with Fliss did he have so little command over himself. He’d played with fire and gotten incinerated. And upset a woman who’d already been hurt enough.

Fliss deserved someone better than him anyway.

An image of her staring up at him, arousal stamped on her face, rose in his mind unbidden. She’d tasted so good. Like heaven. Desire had crashed over him like a tidal wave, drowning out his common sense. All he could do was act. And feel.
Everything
.

No. Not going there again.

Alex forcefully shook the unnerving thoughts out of his head. No point in continuing to obsess over what had happened. Not now anyway. They had a project to acquire. At least they could agree on that. Even if they’d tiptoed around each other throughout the day.

Damn it. He’d known working with Fliss would lead to nothing but trouble.

Something had to give and soon.

But first things first. He had to face her like the adult he claimed to be.

Alex knocked. The door flew open a few seconds later.

“Fliss.” He greedily took her in like he hadn’t seen her at all that day. He immediately zeroed in on her lips covered in the red gloss she loved so much. It took him a second to realize she was talking. He dragged his gaze up.