This Is Your Life (20 page)

Here we go, she thought
…

‘Let’s just say the magazine were to sponsor one of the gardens…’ he said pompously.  ‘Nothing definite
of course, but just say it did… then I imagine we would receive some kind of
exposure,
shall we say…’

‘My plan is to open a small shop,’ said Miriam unexpectedly.  ‘Manned by volunteers the way the entire farm is.  We’ll sell the farm’s produce but inside, we’ll dedicate a wall to all
our generous sponsors.  And we could sell your magazine… er…for a commission…’

Lizzie held her breath. 
Julian looked slightly taken aback, then beamed at her.

Katie had taken a long weekend off and had driven down to Littleton.  ‘We need to get going with this Ball,’ she told Lizzie.  ‘Antonia really needs booting up the bottom…’ which reading between the lines meant that she hadn’t seen Tim for a while.

Antonia was wasting no time and had them all invited for drinkies at Harry’s mate’s pile.  As they turned up the drive, Lizzie had to admit that as a setting, it was
unbeatable.  There were tall, austere looking cedars set amongst the neatest, most manicured lawns – a little different to the ponies and llamas in the untidy fields that flanked the bumpy drive at Hethecote.  The house was impressive too – a sprawling brick and stone mansion, which could have passed for a country house hotel. 

Obviously
enjoying herself, Antonia swung her car noisily round on the drive and braked hard sending gravel flying everywhere.  The front door immediately opened and the man who stood there was tall and upright, with thick white hair and a forbidding look on his face.

Antonia marched over.  ‘Aubrey!  Darling…’
He kissed her cheeks resoundingly.

‘By golly Antonia,
what a jolly fine looking woman you are!  Harry’s a damn fool you know…Told him so myself… Brought some friends I see..’  Aubrey stared at an amused Katie and Lizzie.  ‘Good, good, well come on in… Fraser can serve us sherry.’

             
The house was just as imposing inside, though very slightly shabby.  Apparently Aubrey had pots of money in the bank which according to Antonia, he refused to spend on the house because he had an illegitimate son to leave it to.

             
‘Probably got more than one, darling… Was always sowing his oats as I remember… Probably still is…Shocking old bugger when you think about it. His legitimate brats are after everything of course, but Aubrey’s frightfully stubborn…’

             
By the time the girls left, Antonia had sweet talked Aubrey into putting up a massive marquee.  She’d also managed to avoid the trip to Marbella.

             
‘Got to go into hospital darling,’ she’d confided to him.  ‘Women’s problems, you know….’ and whispered something in his ear.

             
An expression of shock had crossed Aubrey’s face.  ‘Ahem… of course..’ and cleared his throat. Nothing more was said.

An ominous looking sky blanketed the village the following morning,
releasing oversize raindrops which soon became a downpour. Katie was out with Tim, who’d pulled rank and taken a weekend off.  Leo wouldn’t be pleased, out in this deluge.  It was even too much for Antonia, who called in by car.

‘
I must say, really can’t be doing with this rain. Haven’t ridden today… Doesn’t usually stop me, have to say’, she told Lizzie, sounding somewhat perplexed.  Then she added that she’d thought she’d take Cassie shopping, seeing as there was nothing else to do. 

‘
Thought I’d treat her to a ghastly lunch at that American diner. Dreadful place but Cassie wants to go there. Fancy joining us?’

Lizzie declined
.  As much as anything she had a lot to catch up on.  And there was another reason why she would rather be alone.

‘Another time
?’ she suggested.

‘
I’ll let you know how bad it is first,’ retorted Antonia. ‘Lord. Is that window of yours still not fixed?’

‘
I jammed it shut for the winter, and now that’s as closed as I can get it.’  In the end, Lizzie had bashed at the frame with a large hammer then managed to lever it shut.

Antonia’s view was uncompromising. ’
Typical of this estate,’ she said, adding more firmly, ‘withhold rent.  Had to do it myself once. That got them moving,’ she said with satisfaction. ‘Shall I have a little word with Toby for you? I’m sure he’ll be frightfully helpful…’

She looked at her watch.

‘Awfully sorry, better shoot. Fancy a drink at the Goat later? I’ll phone Timmy and see if he’s free. Haven’t been there in yonks. Why don’t you see if Leo’s around?’

After Antonia had left, the rain continued to fall and Lizzie gave up on the idea of digging Ginny’s beds.  Instead making herself some coffee, she sat by her fireplace. It was two years to the day since her mother had died – which also meant she’d been here about a year.  And what a year it had been.  Some sadness still lingered, but Lizzie felt just a hint of pride as she thought about everything that had happened.  As the fire crackled and the rain beat against her windows, she almost missed the quiet knock at her door.

‘Nola?  Come in!  You must be soaked!’

Nola came in and handed Lizzie an odd looking bunch of flowers before taking her coat off.

‘
For you!  You’ve lit a fire – it smells glorious!’ she exclaimed.  ‘Apple wood?’

Lizzie nodded.  ‘Tea?’

‘Of course!’

‘I know what today is,’ said Nola as they sat by Lizzie’s fire.  ‘Is it
two
years now?’

Lizzie nodded.  ‘It’s hard to believe at times.  So much
seems to have happened since then.’

Nola frowned.  ‘
It’s a little more complicated than that…’ she said.

‘What do you mean?’  Lizzie didn’t understand.

‘
Well, you’ve
made
things happen.  You’ve made big changes, Lizzie…’

‘Mostly it feels like I’m caught up in a whirl of events,’ said Lizzie truthfully.  ‘Things just seem to come along and carry me with them…’

‘Oh no, no.  It’s not like that at all…’  Nola shook her head.  ‘You’ve attracted everything in your life, Lizzie.  Look at all your friends!  Your work too,’ Nola went on.  ‘It’s
far
more than random.  What were you looking for when you decided to stay here?’

‘I-I’m not sure I can remember.  I was just putting one foot in front of the other at that point.  I’d escaped from a life I wasn’t happy with as you know
. I’m not sure I knew what I wanted.  I had the letter my mother left.  I’ll show you if you like…’

Nola’s eyes lit up. 
‘Would you mind?’

Lizzie
went and fetched it.  ‘Here.’

Silently Nola read it.  ‘When did she give you this?’

‘She meant me to find it after she died, but I only came across it a year ago – it’s why I left Jamie!’

She continued reading until the end when she looked
up, her eyes shining.  ‘It’s all in there!  Everything you could ever need to know!  Your mother must have been extraordinary, Lizzie…’

Slightly p
uzzled by Nola’s words, Lizzie silently replaced the letter.  Was it all really so obvious, or was there
still
something she was missing…

After
Nola had left, Lizzie put her flowers in a vase.  They were an unusual mixture – she identified sage, rosemary and hawthorn but the flowers themselves looked tight and withered up.  Until it got dark, that was.  When Lizzie looked again much later, they’d unfurled into stars of pink and lilac, filling the cottage with the sweetest perfume.

 
The heavy rain of the previous day had given way to drizzle and Lizzie put the finishing touches to the plan for Susie’s flowers. She planned to hire lots of olive trees and flowering shrubs, and hopefully arrange them to make a kind of tunnel in to the marquee. A quick search on the internet had come up with supplier of cut roses, and she’d found somewhere local to hire the vases. Picking up the phone, she called Susie’s mother.

In the Woodleighs’ huge farmhouse kitchen, Lizzie’s
hair frizzed spectacularly as next to the enormous aga, her dampness quickly evaporated.  Bella perused the plan set out in front of her while Lizzie sipped her tea. 

‘I’m really most impressed,’ Bella
said to her. ’It all sounds quite perfect, for the church too I see. Susie’s going to be over the moon! You do know, until she saw your garden she showed no interest whatsoever, so I’m quite glad she’s chosen this herself. Now, I need to write you a cheque straight away, as you’re going to have some quite huge costs to cover, and well, if I add a little something on,’ she mentioned a figure that wasn’t little at all, ‘could we go just a little bit mad on the roses and make it even more special?’

‘
Now’, continued Bella, ‘I thought on a more practical note that you could borrow the gardeners. When you start setting everything up, it’ll be far too much for you to carry, and they won’t be able to get on with their usual jobs with a marquee in the middle of the garden.  And don’t forget, I was hoping that when you have time, you might come and give me a little advice about mine…’

It was two hours later by
the time Lizzie finally left and at last the rain was stopping.  The clouds were beginning to part, and here and there glimmers of brightness poked through the gaps between them. Lizzie filled her lungs with the scent of the rain-soaked earth . Her frizzy hair fell in rat’s tails again, but she didn’t care - in her pocket her hand clutched the rather large cheque, lest it fall out and be lost amongst the puddles.

And as a watery sun
came into view, so did Pete with an archaic looking chicken house on the back of his van, which he dragged round to a corner behind the cottage.  And later still he returned with a large box that was making clucking noises.

‘Rang the farm on the off chance – they sold me a dozen so I thought you might as well have some…’

Lizzie tried not to think about where the others in his van were destined for.              ’Erm,’ Pete coughed a bit embarrassedly, ’took the liberty of gettin’ you some supplies like, ’ope yer don’t mind. Weren’t too expensive, and them’ll see you through for a bit.’

‘Oh!  This is brilliant!  Thank you Pete…shall I put the kettle on?’

Pete’s eyes lit up, but her excitement turned to dismay as she opened the box.  They were the baldest, scraggiest birds she’d ever set eyes on, as well as agoraphobic, resolutely refusing to leave the hen house.

Later Leo had called in, still a regular visitor, though not as frequent as before, having tactically withdrawn to reconsider his options. Besides, he’d met a rather pretty little blonde with a severely lame horse, who was rather grateful for his help.  Actually, she really was tremendously grateful….he smiled to himself. He was headed over there shortly. She’d invited him for dinner, and hopefully much more, thought Leo happily to himself…

‘I’ll give you some wormer for th
em,’ he offered. ‘Just put a few drops in their water. But I’m sure they’ll be ok,’ he added as Lizzie handed him a beer.

Relieved
when Leo didn’t hang around, she’d just decided to wander down to Antonia’s when yet another visitor turned up, and this was one she was not pleased to see - at all. She’d hoped never to see him again. It was Jamie, and he looked cross, even for him.

Lizzie folded her arms defensively.
  ‘Jamie. This is a surprise! I didn’t expect to see you…’

‘I know I should have called you,’ he said, ‘but I also knew that you wouldn’t
want to meet. Look, can I come in for a minute. It won’t take long, but we should talk.  In private.’

Mystified, Lizzie led him round the back of the cottage, and gestured to the chair that Leo had just got up from
, wishing for once that he’d hung around.

‘I heard,’
Jamie said then, more grimly, ‘about you being pregnant.’

Lizzie gasped. ‘I’m not now,’ she told him. ‘I
lost it.’

‘Don’t you think you should at least have told me? Instead of me hearing second or third hand from some indiscrete friend
of a friend of Katie’s?’  He really sounded angry.

Lizzie looked horrified.

‘Yes,’ he continued. ‘That’s exactly what happened,’ he said, before adding, slightly more calmly, now that he’d said what he’d come to say, ‘It was just a shock to hear it from someone else.’

Lizzie felt terrible and
could completely understand him being upset.  ‘Oh Jamie, I honestly didn’t think you’d want to know, though I’d had the miscarriage before I’d decided whether to tell you or not…And then, when that happened, there didn’t seem any point. I never, ever, dreamed you’d find out…’

Jamie sighed heavily.
Those dreaded sighs that always dragged her mood down to the level of his.

‘Well, I did,’ he said flatly.  ‘Now you know. For your information, I would have done the right thing as an absent father, and I wouldn’t have interfered.
Just for the record.’

And he left Lizzie in stunned silence.

Darius and Angel were at the Goat that evening.  Lizzie hadn’t seen them in ages.

‘Darling dizzy-Lizzie,’ said Angel effusively.  ‘I can’t tell you how much we’ve missed you!  SO much work darling…I hate to say but the garden’s the
teeniest
little bit overgrown…’

‘But can you tidy it for us?’ begged Darius.  ‘Pretty please… we’ll wait…’

‘I’d love to,’ said Lizzie.  ‘But it won’t be for a while, I’m afraid… I’ve Susie’s wedding, Ginny’s garden, Hethecote Farm which is really getting busy…’

‘And don’t forget the Ball, darling… there’s that to organise too…’
Antonia chipped in.

‘Ooh,
how exciting!  You must tell us
all
about it,’ said Darius.  ‘And we must buy tickets, flower…’

‘Yes.  Er
,’ said Antonia.  ‘I’ll let you know, darlings.  They’re at the printers at the moment.’

            
 
Work was catching up with Lizzie.  Not only was there Susie’s wedding, but she’d just received an invitation to it, which had thrown her into a quandary knowing that she’d be seeing Tom again. To top it all, the scrawniest of the chickens had eventually tip-toed out, terrified out of her wits.  It was a massive breakthrough and Lizzie had christened her Pete.  The others had soon followed, Cassie suggesting Toby for the next and Tim for the third, but Lizzie drew the line at Antonia, and they plumped instead for Leo.  All was well until Darren joined in and leapt amongst them, scattering them far and wide until Lizzie had grabbed him by the scruff.  Darren had sworn and spat ferociously at her, but he seemed to have got the message.

Lizzie hadn’t planned to go back to Ginny’s
that afternoon. Actually, she was heading for Sparkie’s to try to find an outfit for the wedding, but suddenly she remembered she’d left her notebook in Ginny’s greenhouse.  Filled as it was with all her sketches for the wedding flowers, she didn’t want to risk losing it. It was still early afternoon. She could call in to Ginny’s with enough time to get to Sparkie’s.

The
house was quiet when she got there, and Lizzie let herself in through the side gate. She could see her notebook on the table round by the greenhouse, but as she went to pick it up she heard a muffled sob. Looking around, Lizzie couldn’t see anyone, but following the path around the side of the house, she found Ginny sitting in the shade, in the furthest part of the garden.

Tentatively, Lizzie walked towards her
. Ginny looked a small, sorry shadow of her usual self, her hair unbrushed, her pastel shirt smudged, and mascara in streaks down her cheeks. She blew her nose as she saw Lizzie coming towards her and hastily pinned on a false smile.

‘I came by to collect this,’ Lizzie explained apologetically. ‘I didn’t mean to disturb you…’

‘Oh, don’t take any notice,’ Ginny tried to say with a heroic attempt at her habitual brightness. ‘I’m sorry, Lizzie. You’ve just caught me at a bad moment…’ and to Lizzie’s horror, Ginny’s face collapsed in a hideous grimace as more tears rolled copiously down her cheeks.

‘Ginny…’ Lizzie sat down beside her, quite worried by now,
placing a hand on Ginny’s hunched shoulders. ‘What’s wrong, what’s happened?’

Feeling the sobs racking Ginny’s body, Lizzie felt alarmed, uncertain what to do. Had someone died?
And where was everyone else? ‘Ginny, would you like me to call someone for you? Family or something? Edward?’

At the mention of Edward’s name, the sobs
turned to wails. ‘Not Edward…’ Ginny’s body tensed as she regained control and at last the sobs subsided.

‘Oh, you may as well know…’ she said
, blowing her nose noisily. ‘It’s Edward that’s the problem…I shouldn’t really be telling you this.’ She wiped her face. ‘He’s having an affair.’ Then seeing the look of incredulity on Lizzie’s face, added, ‘oh, and it’s not the first time. There’ve been several...’

Lizzie was flummoxed. Short, smug unattractive Edward with those dreadful teeth, was having affairs?
Lizzie struggled to imagine how anyone could find him remotely attractive in the first place. But then she looked at Ginny, who’d spent all these years married to him. 

W
iping more tears away, Ginny continued, ‘I think it all started when the girls were quite tiny. You know, there’s what seems at the time like an endless period where your every waking moment is taken up looking after them. Wonderful though they are, life becomes just an endless routine of cooking, cleaning, washing and driving around to various activities...Everything revolved around the girls. And I suppose Edward is just one of those men who can’t take second place. Even to his own children, even for a little while… So when someone else came along and paid him the attention he was missing, that was it. And now, the girls are older and I’m starting to get my life back. They need me less, and he’s off dallying with his - his floozies...’ Her voice croaked.

‘Oh I know what you’re thinking.
That I’m stupid to stay with him. I suppose I am...’ Ginny sighed through her tears.  ‘I nearly left him once.  Three years ago...  He was sleeping with his secretary. Honestly, it was disgusting. That brainless creature was young enough to be his daughter – she’s only a couple of years older than Persephone – my eldest. God only knows what she saw in him. Power maybe? I really can’t imagine what else. He’s not the most attractive man, is he? I confronted him about it, he promised to finish with her, and we agreed we’d try to make our marriage work.  That was just before we moved here. It was supposed to be a fresh start... I know it’s very shallow, but this house and all of this…’ Ginny gestured at the garden. ‘This was what I always wanted for the girls, and I do love it so…and in about five years, they’ll have grown up and gone. It’s not long, so I told myself I could endure his behaviour just for a few more years, for
them
…’ The tears had started again. ‘He had another affair of course, which didn’t last long, and I turned a blind eye, but now he’s told me he’s seeing someone else. He says that this time, it’s serious, and he’s not breaking it off with her. So, it’s up to me, if I go on living with him knowing this, or whether we break up…’

Ginny had run out of tears, and sat there, slumped, staring at the ground.

‘At the moment, I don’t know what to think. I’m too shocked. And I need to think of the girls, and he is their father, even if he is a despicable bastard. So,’ she smiled a watery smile at Lizzie, ‘I really do need to sort myself out, don’t I?’

Lizzie looked at her, her heart full of sympathy. ‘You know, you
really don’t deserve to be treated like this.  It just isn’t right. I don’t know how you’ve carried on this long, not letting it show. Your daughters really don’t know?’

Ginny shook her head with a degree of pride
.  ’I don’t think so…’

‘But,’ Lizzie added slowly, ‘there are worse things than growing up just with your mother.
Mine brought me up. She was wonderful…’ she said wistfully.

‘Was?’ asked Ginny
with curiosity, then more calmly, ‘Did you lose her?’

Lizzie nodded,
suddenly unable to speak. ‘Two years ago.  She had cancer. She was my family you know,’ Lizzie said quietly. ‘I never knew my father, he died when I was four, and she didn’t re-marry. But it was good. She was a great mother. The best.’

Ginny was
silent, then she raised her eyes towards Lizzie. ‘Oh Lizzie. I’m sorry, I had no idea.’ She took her hand and they sat in silence for a moment.

Then she added
in a normal voice, ‘This pink garden of mine. It’s a silly idea, I know that. I don’t mind what you do with it really. I know you’ll make it look wonderful.’ She went quiet again.