Thrall (27 page)

“Nicely done,” she breathed, grinning at my excitement. “Now, in order to find someone, you have to picture him in your mind. See his face, hear his voice.”

It was too easy; I had been doing that all day. Karayan took my hand and set it onto the surface of the pool. Only it didn’t feel like water. It was smooth like glass, even as it flowed around my hand. Inside the pool, the stars scattered, like dust disturbed by a sudden gust of wind. One of the stars was rising up out of the dark water. It breached the surface, hanging between us like a gleaming seed of light.

“Touch it,” Karayan said. I hesitated, but she smiled. “I’ll be right behind you.”

I touched the glimmer, and was drawn into another field. A soccer field. I turned and saw Derek running toward me. I was so startled, I screamed. Derek didn’t stop; he kicked a soccer ball and it sped past my head ferociously. I turned in time to see Parker knock it into the goal with a precise head-butt. Suddenly, the field was surrounded by risers full of screaming fans. As the cheering rose, Derek and the other soccer players faded away.

Karayan joined me. “He dreams of glory. Typical.” Parker didn’t seem to see us. I glanced at Karayan. “Well?” she asked. “We’ve found him. What do you want to do?”

“I want to make him feel what Cassie feels. I want him... I want him to hate himself.” Even as I said the words, I felt an icy fist close around my heart. I thought about Cassie and her new, bitter smile.

“Then you need to plant that in his mind,” Karayan said coolly. She took my hand and cupped it, making a small bowl. “Imagine a seed. All of your friend’s suffering, all that agony and pain and humiliation, focus all of it into this seed.” I did, and as I watched, a fat, gray seed coalesced in the palm of my hand. “Now picture this seed growing into a tree, every leaf another hated aspect of himself that Parker will have to face. Picture its roots, digging deep into his sense of self, feeding off his arrogance.” I obeyed her, pouring these negative thoughts into the seed. It felt heavier and heaver in my hand, and my vision started to blur. I blinked, and found I was woozy, weak. “Almost done,” Karayan whispered to me. “Is there anything else you’d like to throw in for good measure?”

I combed through my mind, but the rage I’d started with was gone. I felt empty. Everything was already in the seed. “No.” I looked up. “Now what?”

“Now... Plant it.” Karayan stepped back, regarding the lush grass of the field. “This is Parker’s dream. His mind. Plant the seed anywhere. It will grow.”

I hesitated, unsure. Karayan made no move to hurry me. She simply waited. I felt a tugging on my conscience and I almost backed down. But a thought lurked in the shadows of my mind. In the real world, the best thing for Cassie would be for her to get past this pain. To heal. Cassie was too fragile for a direct confrontation, and Parker was too callous to let that kind of thing hurt him anyway. Which meant he would suffer no retribution. Here in the dream, this seed was retribution. It would leave Cassie innocent of any crime. No one ever had to know. And Parker would get what Parker deserved. I drew comfort from this thought, and dug my hand into the thick grass, down into the wet soil of Parker’s dream. I dropped the seed inside. Thin roots sprouted from it like hairs, spooling into the dirt around it. I watched in sick fascination for a moment, then covered the rooting seed up.

“Let’s get out of here,” I said. “This place gives me the creeps.” Karayan offered me her hand. I took it. Her fingers were cool and strong. She closed them around my hand and the dream shifted. We were back in my field of roses, only something was different. I tried to place it, but Karayan interrupted my thoughts.

“I wondered when you would come to your senses.” She smiled, victorious. “I told them I could save you from the Guard. It would just be a matter of time.”

“Told who?” I asked numbly.

“Our sisters. You met them at your birthday party. They were curious about you, but after that night, they didn’t think you’d ever leave the Guard. They’ll be eager to see you.”

I stared at her with a sinking feeling. “I’m not leaving the Guard.”

Karayan regarded me for a long moment. “Those men will never accept you for what you are. They are only interested in you as long as they can control you.”

“I know how bad it must have been growing up with Thane. But just because he was awful to you doesn’t mean everyone in the Guard is cruel.”

Karayan stiffened. “Whatever you think you know...”

“I know Thane treated you like a weapon, not a daughter. But my dad is different. Hale is different.”

“They have devoted their lives to killing our kind.”

“They... They just want to protect people,” I said. “Do you really want to start another war?”

Karayan stared at me, frustrated. “Some part of you knows you can’t trust them, right?” She scrutinized my face, looking for answers. “If you have even a little doubt, come with me and hear our side.” She held out her hand. I didn’t take it. She pursed her lips. “Change is coming, and the Guard can’t stop it. What do you think will happen when the Wall comes down? If you stand with the Guard, you’ll put yourself on the front lines. As soon as our numbers are great enough, the Guard will fall. Stand with them, and you’ll fall, too.” The look she gave me was full of pity. “It’s your choice.” Karayan vanished.

I stared at the place she’d been standing for a few long moments before it hit me. I knew what was different about my field. The roses were no longer a pristine white. I grabbed blossom after blossom from the plants, scattering petals on the ground. I lost count of how many roses I tore apart, but every single petal had a crimson stain at its base.

I dropped to my knees, trying to get a grip on this wild fear. Why was I worrying about roses when I had finally found the key to escaping my dream?

With renewed determination, I touched the ground and drew another pool of liquid stars. I meant to seek out Hale, to finally complete that first assignment he’d given me. But when I looked into the pool of stars, a single spark was already travelling toward me. As it emerged from the pool, I felt a little flutter in my chest. This spark felt familiar, warm, safe. I let my hand close around it, ignoring the part of me that urged caution. The world seemed to shift.

I found myself in a deserted parking garage. The skies were murky and dark; there was an ominous feel to this place. Someone grabbed my shoulder.

“What are you doing here?” Lucas pulled me behind a structural support column. “We have to run!”

I felt my eyes widen in understanding. A nightmare. I took Lucas’ hand in mine. “It’s okay, Lucas,” I said.

“No. It’s out there. It’s coming...”

I leaned forward and kissed him. I felt a rush of sensation, a quieter version of the storm I’d felt in the theater. Lucas’ resistance fell away. He curled his arms around me. The dreamscape shifted around us, and I pulled back from the kiss.

We were standing at the edge of an ocean, too beautiful to be real. Water undulated as far as the eye could see, hemmed by a gleaming white beach. As we watched, the sun scrolled through the sky, dropping the day into sunset, bathing this imagined world in russet light.

Lucas brushed my cheek with the backs of his fingers. The sensation was pleasant, but muted. Nothing felt quite real here. Not his touch, not the sand beneath our feet. And yet... I didn’t care. Hale had been right. A simple kiss was more than enough.

I opened my eyes to find light streaming into my room. I snuggled deeper into the covers, smiling. What a dream. I felt invigorated. Powerful. I swung my legs out of bed and walked to the window. Lucas’ drapes were still closed. The murmur of voices reached me from downstairs. It sounded like Hale was talking with my father. I pulled my clothes on, skipping the shower. I raced downstairs just as Hale and Dad were walking to the front door.

“I did it. I broke out of my dream,” I said.

Hale’s face transformed with joy. “Fantastic. Fantastic!”

Dad’s smile was a little more reserved. “Do you think you can do it again?”

“Yeah. It... I was going about it all wrong before.” I took a deep breath, steeling myself. “Karayan showed me how to do it.” Their smiles faded. “I need to tell you something else.” They listened closely as I told them what Karayan had said about striking at the Guard as soon as the Wall came down. Dad’s eyes clouded when I told them how Karayan tried to get me to join her sisters. Hale looked grim when I had finished.

“Thank you. You were right to tell us everything,” Hale said. I felt a twinge. I hadn’t told them everything. I had made no mention of what I’d done to Parker, or how I’d spent the rest of the night. Hale glanced at Dad. “It sounds like Karayan is deeply involved.”

“Thane won’t like that.”

Hale grimaced. “I don’t plan on telling him. I’ve got Gretchen searching for hunting grounds that may or may not exist. I need Thane focused on his search for minds touched by Lilitu.”

My breath caught.

Hale sighed and turned to my dad. “Speaking of impossible tasks, you and I should get started canvassing the city for Thrall.”

“Right. We should be back by dinner,” Dad said, squeezing my shoulder.

I caught his hand before he withdrew. “Wait,” I said. “Can I...” I glanced at Hale, uneasy. “Can I talk to you alone for a second, Dad?”

“Meet me outside when you’re ready,” Hale told Dad. He walked out, leaving us alone.

“What is it, honey?” Dad asked, concerned.

“What does that mean... minds touched by Lilitu?”

Dad shrugged, surprised by the question. “Whenever Lilitu interfere with someone’s sleeping mind, they leave a residual connection behind.”

“But... I thought dreams were safe,” I said.

“Most of the time they are,” Dad said quickly, sensing my anxiety. “We’re talking about what happens when a Lilitu wants to hurt someone. But that’s a very intentional process,” he continued, offering a comforting smile. “Don’t worry, honey. You won’t accidently hurt someone in a dream.”

I lowered my eyes, trying to hide the roiling panic from Dad. “How do you find people after a Lilitu’s touched their mind?”

“Thane’s very good at IDing victims by extreme or uncharacteristic behavior,” Dad said. “Once he finds them, Gretchen can spot the connection and, if it’s strong enough, trace it back to the Lilitu responsible. Thane’s trying to locate potential victims right now.”

“So, Lilitu can hurt people without sleeping with them?” I asked. My voice sounded hollow.

“Yes.” Dad looked at me more closely. “Are you all right, honey?”

“Just... surprised,” I said, forcing a smile. “I keep learning more.”

Dad squeezed my shoulder. “Like I said, you can’t hurt someone in a dream unless you’re trying to. So don’t worry so much. Anything else?” he asked. I shook my head. “All right. I’ll see you later on tonight.” Dad kissed my forehead and left. I sank into the couch.

All day, the gnawing feeling in my stomach grew stronger and stronger. No one had told me Lilitu left traces when they interfered with someone’s mind. I’d felt a hesitation before planting the seed in Parker’s dream. Why had I gone through with it?

By dinner, I was plagued by an almost constant fear: what would happen if Thane and Gretchen discovered what I had done to Parker?

“So,” Thane said, sitting down at our dining room table that night. “You’re finally ready to begin the search for Ais. You’ve certainly left little enough time to spare.” I felt Dad shift beside me, but he managed to hold his tongue. Hale, who had joined us for this conversation at Dad’s request, gave Thane a disapproving frown.

“Just tell me how to find her,” I said, trying to keep the hostility in my voice at a reasonable level.

“What makes you think I’d know how to do that?” Thane asked.

“You... you’re...?” I stared at him, flabbergasted. “Hale said you were a lucid dreamer.”

Hale spoke, explaining gently. “He’s human, Braedyn. His abilities are limited to navigating his own dreams.”

I turned to Dad. “Then why is he sitting in our dining room?”

“When you escaped your dream, where did you go?” Thane asked, as though I hadn’t spoken.

I eyed him defensively. “Into another dream.”

“Directly?”

“Yes,” I said, trying to figure out where this was going.

“You chose whose dream you wanted to visit.” He wasn’t asking a question, but I nodded anyway. “How did you find him?”

“I pictured him in my head,” I answered. “The dream came to me. But I’ve never seen Ais. How am I supposed to picture her?”

Thane leaned back in his chair, thinking. “Perhaps you’ll have to search for her in the larger dream space.”

I felt something shift inside - frustration giving way to curiosity. “When Karayan talked about dreams,” I said, noticing Thane’s face tighten at the mention of Karayan’s name. “She described them as bubbles in a larger sea.” Thane nodded gruffly. I swallowed. “So if dreams are bubbles, what is the sea?”

“That,” Hale said quietly, “is a great mystery. But if you can explore it, you may find the answer.”

Thane regarded me. “And with it, Ais.”