Threads of Change (18 page)

“What?” Thomas asked, awakened from his own private thoughts.

“Thomas, I’ve enjoyed these last few days with you.”

He loosely held the wagon reins in his hand so that they interlaced between his fingers. A smile formed under his new mustache.

“Happy to hear it.”

“But there’s so much I don’t know about you, even after all these years. What would you have done with your life if you and Caleb hadn’t happened upon my grandfather and the timber mill that afternoon? And what kind of soap did you use all those years to make you always smell like the woods after it rains? Have you ever owned another hat besides that one? I don’t remember a time when you didn’t wear it.”

She paused, feeling the heat of the dark red stain probably splashed across both her cheeks and the front of her neck.

“Why all of these questions?” Thomas chuckled as he glanced her way. “I knew you were quiet way too long.”

Liz leaned forward until he looked at her, and she stared into his eyes, searching them to find out if he really was who she thought him to be.

“I have been your friend for many years, you know,” he said, as if he’d read her thoughts like a newspaper. “What you don’t know about me already probably isn’t worth knowing.”

That wagon ride to Texas was the longest he had ever been alone with the widow of Caleb Bromont. Thomas saw Liz’s inner strength even more after she became a widow and then even more still when she ventured wholeheartedly into the dream of going west.

It seemed like as good a time as any to talk to her about their future. He swallowed the dread creeping up on him and gathered his courage before he started to speak.

“Liz, I would like to talk to you about some of our plans. Plans Lucas and I have made for the future.”

Liz looked at him and arched one eyebrow. “Oh?”

Her grandfather had always treated her as an equal. Thomas knew he had included her as he devised a scenario for the future. Lucas had always valued her opinion, so she probably already knew the nuts and bolts of what had been planned.

Thomas took a breath and continued now that he had her attention.

“Lucas and I want to start a freight company to bring supplies in for the mercantile. He likely has a wagon or two on the way already,” Thomas said with a chuckle as he thought of his friend. Lucas Mailly had the strength and drive of a young man and the wisdom of Solomon. Thomas respected and loved this man who was to be his new partner in the venture.

Liz looked at Thomas with her blue eyes trained on him as he spoke.

“Chet, Blue, and John will be freight drivers, if they accept. Our freight yard will be the first to bring supplies now that the military has moved on.” He paused and swallowed around the lump in his throat. “I want to eventually start a ranch. I think this area has a good chance of being profitable for the cattle business. Lucas and I will be partners in that as well, along with Luke when he grows up. I feel—”

The lump arose again, and he swallowed hard before he could continue.

“The thing is, Liz, I’m already part of this family and I would like to make it official by asking you to be my wife.”

Liz looked like she’d been kicked by the rear hoof of a horse as she sat there staring at him. Her eyes misted over, and he thought that her silent thoughts circled like the rotation of the wagon wheels.

Thomas gathered his courage quickly. He wouldn’t let her slip away this time. He could feel her weighing his words.

“Elizabeth Bromont,” he said, turning slightly on the seat toward her. “I’ve loved you since the first day I saw you standing on the porch when Caleb and I stumbled upon the timber mill and asked Lucas for jobs. You stepped out of the door and stood next to that pillar holding that measly cat of yours. Your hair looked like spun gold in the sun, just like it does now. I knew then you were the one for me.”

Thomas ran his hand down her braid as it sparkled in the sun, and he reached over and took her hand.

“I was hypnotized by you, Liz. I waited for you to acknowledge me back then … and again now. Because I hesitated fifteen years ago, I lost you. I don’t want that to happen now. I’ve wanted to court you for months, but you were still grieving over Caleb’s death. It just wasn’t time. He was my best friend.”

Thomas straightened, released her hand, and looked at the road ahead of them.

“Liz, I want to marry you,” he said without a glance back at her. “I don’t want to wait any longer or run the risk of losing you again. Luke needs me and seems to love me. You will too, if you just give us a chance.”

Thomas reached for her hand and held it firmly, searching her face a moment later in the hope that he’d find the answer he wanted there, almost willing the response he desired. He could see that Liz listened to his confession, seemingly amazed that he had always felt this way. She had clearly never known.

“How could I have not known this?”

L
iz felt perplexed at what she had just now learned about Thomas. He had thought things through so completely that he assumed others were already in step with him.

Liz had always wondered why Thomas never married. He’d never shown one bit of interest in any of the girls she introduced him to. Now she understood as all of this whizzed through her head.

“I never knew,” she told him softly, and mostly to herself. “Did Caleb … Did he ever know?” she asked.

Her head swam with memories. She always thought of Thomas as family. Nothing had ever been out of place or strange during all those years, and now he confessed that he had loved her from the beginning.

“No, I don’t think so. I never told him. He was my best friend! I did a good job of keeping it from everyone. Except your grandfather, of course,” Thomas said as he smiled. “That man keeps track of his granddaughters like a hawk.”

Thomas squeezed her hand a little and chuckled.

“Does he know your intentions now?”

She looked at him seriously, awaiting his reply.

“I don’t think he would have sent me with you if he hadn’t been in favor of it, Liz.”

She knew that Thomas could see how deeply his proposal had shaken her. He probably wished now that he’d have waited.

“I had a brother in Caleb,” he said, and she strained to hear him. “I would never have hurt him. Liz, I almost died trying to save him. I wanted to die, too, when he drowned. We had been best friends from the first day we met. I know he would approve of us together, especially if he saw the bond I’ve forged with Luke. I was always family to you and the boy, even when Caleb was alive.”

“It must’ve been hard for you.”

She paused and looked at Thomas through a thin veil of tears. Emotion choked her for a moment, and her thoughts and emotions tossed every which way.

Everyone had been pushing her toward Thomas in the last few weeks, telling her to move on with her life. Megan said Thomas had feelings for her. With her grandfather aging and Caleb’s death, she needed Thomas.

Thomas caught her glance and instinctively bent down to kiss her. It had been more than a year since she’d been kissed, and it felt good. Warm, sweet, and gentle.

Have I grown too old to still want romance and love?

With her eyes still closed from the kiss, Thomas remained close to her face and whispered, “Liz. I know you will always love Caleb. I don’t expect anything else. But he’s gone and I’m here. If you can love me half as much as you loved Caleb, I will die a happy man.”

When he finished, he leaned back on the wagon seat, his gaze fixed on the road ahead of them.

The wheels of the wagon continued along the grassy trail as they moved closer toward their new home. Liz watched the scenery pass, grateful that Thomas allowed her to sit quietly and absorb all he had said to her while her hand stayed gently cradled in his.

After several minutes, she carefully turned to look at him.

Is this a man I could love?
she wondered as she examined the sharp line of his jaw.
Could I share my thoughts and dreams with him? Is he a forever love, or was this a business deal for him?

She took a sharp breath, and it sparked a pain in her chest.

“Thomas, I would like to try to do that with you. I think I am ready to accept your offer of courtship with the intent to marry when the time is right. But I can’t commit further than that. Is that acceptable to you?”

Thomas smiled, took her hand, kissed the back of it and replied, “Yes, that’s good enough for me!”

After some time, Thomas turned toward her and said, “I don’t know much about your parents or how you came to live at the timber mill. Why don’t you tell me about that.”

“I was only six when we went to Lecompte to live with my grandfather,” she replied. Pausing to look at their entwined hands, she added, “I was so young, Thomas, and so scared. We had just lost our parents in the fire and suddenly Megan was my responsibility.”

“I never knew that,” Thomas commented quietly.

“My mother was pregnant then. I remember my father turning to me and saying, ‘Take care of Megan.’ Then he went back into the house to get Mama. I saw the fire everywhere and he disappeared into it. Just as he entered, the roof came down on them. Some people from town came when they saw the smoke and flames, and they found Megan and me huddled together in one of Granny’s quilts. It was the only belonging we saved from the fire. It was too late to save the house or anyone in it.”

Liz looked away just as the fresh flow of tears began to fall. She felt grateful to Thomas for listening in silence, probably imagining what it was like for two such little girls. He squeezed her hand tighter.

“The pastor put us on a stage and paid our way to Lecompte,” she continued. “His wife pinned a note to my green dress that she’d made for us out of ivy-colored fabric with vines and red flowers. It had large red buttons on the bodice. Megan twisted one of her buttons off on the stage and cried. The pastor said that it was a good idea for us to look nice, that it would go in our favor to find a good home because he didn’t know if an old man would want to raise two little girls.”

Had Thomas begun to sniffle, or had she imagined it?

“Grandpa Lucas was in town the day the stage arrived, and he saw us get off in the street. He unpinned the note and read about the fire and the death of our parents. It seemed like days passed while we just sat on the porch in his lap. We all just cried and rocked … two little girls curled up in their grandfather’s lap. I remember Megan saying, in her cute little baby voice, ‘Don’t cry anymore, Pappy. We’ll take care of you.’ And she took the skirt of her dress and wiped his tears away.”

Thomas sniffed again, and she realized that he battled his own emotions.

“Do you know what started the fire?” he asked.

“Momma’s nightgown caught on fire. She was ready for the baby to come and she wasn’t sleeping well. Somehow, her nightgown got in the fire and she was on fire. She was afraid and didn’t know what to do. She ran through the house, making it worse. I heard her screaming and falling over things. She told me to get Megan out of the house and get Daddy from the barn. We had been sleeping and Megan wouldn’t get up. As we struggled to get out, I saw her burning. The fire was everywhere.”

“Liz, I’m so sorry.”

Thomas choked up and grabbed Liz’s hand, roughly kissing her knuckles as his tears fell to her skin.

“I’m so sorry,” he repeated. “I never knew.”

“I don’t know that I’ve ever told anyone before.”

“Not even Caleb?” he asked, surprised.

“No, we never spoke of it.” Liz looked at Thomas, realizing how odd it sounded. “Strange. I don’t know why he never asked.”