Three Days of Rain (17 page)

I’ve already found a place and will be gone by the time you get home. Don’t try to look for me. I don’t want to be found.

Take care of each other. I will love you forever, Jake.

Love,

Madison

Jake walked out of the bathroom, handed the note to his father, and sat down in front of the doctor.

“Please. Tell me what’s going on with my son. Madison is gone, and she won’t be coming back. Just tell me what I need to do to make him better.”

The doctor looked into Jake’s eyes with overwhelming sadness.

“There is nothing you can do. You need to say goodbye.”

Fists clenched and eyes shut tightly, Jake whispered, “What happened? Why do I need to say goodbye?”

“His heart isn’t strong enough. His lungs aren’t working as they should be. At this point the only way to keep him alive is to hook him up to machines. He’s too small to live that kind of life. He isn’t strong enough for surgery. He doesn’t have much time left, Jake. It could be hours, it could be minutes. You need to spend that time with your son.”

Andy reached over, hugged his son, and watched him fall apart. Danny pulled them both in close and quietly cursed the woman who’d destroyed his brother.

As Jake rocked his child through the night, rain fell against the windows of the hospital room. Madison’s sister and parents were out looking for her but Jake knew they wouldn’t find her. Madison had left long ago, but he had refused to see it. He wasn’t sure if he’d ever see her again, and he wasn’t sure if he wanted to. For now, he settled into the reality of the present.

Andy had called in a priest, and Joey had been given his Last Rites. Doctors and nurses walked in and out of the room while family and friends hovered in the halls and waiting room. And just as the sun peaked through the morning clouds and the rain stopped, Joey’s tiny heart gave out and he took his last breath, wrapped in the loving arms of his father.

CHAPTER 24

It was almost nightfall before Lily pulled Jake’s truck into his driveway. His exhaustion from the day was contagious. She walked around the truck, opened his door, and held his hand as he quietly stepped out. His grief was visible. Every brick in the wall that surrounded him had crashed to the ground when he’d opened up.

She walked him into the house and into his bedroom. He sat on the bed with his head hung low while Lily undressed him. Guiding him onto his pillow, she covered him with a blanket and lay down next to him. He reached behind him, grabbed her hand, and pulled it around his shoulders. His breath not quite even, he closed his eyes willing the day to end.

Lying perfectly still, he felt Lily’s warm breath on the back of his neck. He felt her lips move close to his ear as she whispered, “I love you.” He didn’t respond. Instead, he closed his eyes and let her words wash over him.

She waited until she knew he was asleep before allowing herself to close her eyes. Visions of Jake’s anguish swirled in her head. She slept fitfully with pictures of babies and hospitals and graveyards plaguing her dreams.

When she finally woke in the morning, Jake was still sleeping soundly. Careful not to disturb him, she got out of bed and walked to the kitchen to make herself a cup of coffee. Looking at her watch, she realized she needed to be at work in a couple of hours. She didn’t want to leave him but knew he needed some time alone.

Finishing her coffee, she set the cup in the sink and rummaged in the drawer for a pen and paper.

Jake,

I hope you slept well. I’ll be at Bill’s early and should finish up around 1:30. Let me know if you want me to meet you here. Call me if you need anything. Bill will understand if I need to leave early. Talk to you soon.

Love,

Lily

She quietly walked into his bedroom and set the note on his nightstand. Leaning over, she brushed back the hair that had fallen into his eyes. He hadn’t gotten his hair cut since they’d met. It had gotten shaggy and she wondered why she hadn’t noticed it almost covered his eyes now. His skin was tanned from working at the docks. She’d have to remind him to wear some sunscreen when he finally went out on the boats. She kissed him softly on the forehead and watched him sleep for a minute before leaving the room. Grabbing her keys and purse from the couch, she made sure to lock the door behind her.

It wasn’t until she was in her car that she allowed the tears to flow freely. She cried for Jake, for his son, and for a future she was unsure of. By the time she pulled into the driveway of her uncle’s house she was dazed by the rush of emotion she’d finally let herself feel. When she walked into the house, Bill was sitting at the kitchen table reading the paper.

“Hey, Lil.”

When she didn’t answer, he looked up and saw her wipe her face as she walked to the door of her room.

“Everything okay?”

“Fine. I’ll be fine.”

Standing quickly, Bill walked towards her. “What happened? Did Jake do something?”

“No. No. It wasn’t like that. He took me somewhere yesterday. The graveyard. He told me everything. How can one person hold so much pain inside?”

“Aw, Lil.” Billy knew Jake would tell her eventually. He walked over and pulled her into a hug. “It will be all right. Jake’s a strong kid. I’m glad he told you. I was wondering when and if he would.”

Through tears, Lily held her uncle tightly. “I just don’t understand. The stuff with Madison was bad enough, pain enough for anyone to feel in a lifetime. But to take his child? How does that happen? Why does that happen? And Madison left him to deal with that alone? She didn’t even go to her own child’s funeral. What kind of a person would do that?”

“Jake wasn’t alone, honey. He had all of us. We’re his family. Everyone in town, pretty much. Believe me when I tell you he wasn’t alone. As for Madison, we all knew she was no good but none of us could ever have predicted her leaving when she did. No one, not even her family, will ever forgive her for that.”

“And she hasn’t been back since then?”

Stroking her hair, he could feel her calm down. “No. But if I know Madison, and who knows if I do, she’ll be back. She will find the worst time to come back and that’s when she’ll show up offended that we all remember her the way we do.”

Through loud sniffs, Lily replied, “I think I’d punch her if she ever came back.”

Bill laughed that big laugh that always made her smile. “You do that, sweetie. You do that.”

She stepped back. “I love him, you know.”

“I know.”

Walking to the counter, she poured herself a cup of coffee. She took a breath. “I don’t think I want to go to Atlanta.”

Bill could see she was serious. “You can stay here as long as you want. Whatever you decide, you’ll always have a home here.”

“I haven’t decided anything yet.”

“Yes, you have.”

Smiling over her cup, she said, “I haven’t said anything yet.”

“Do you need me to cover your shift today?”

“No. I have to go. If I stay here, I’ll go out of my mind thinking about everything. It’ll give me a few hours to push it back.”

“If you say so. Going to the Olsen picnic later?”

“Yeah. You?”

“I might try to slip out of there for an hour or so. You okay?”

“I’m good, thanks. I have to take a shower. I’ll meet you there in about an hour or so.”

“Alright, kiddo.”

Lily slipped downstairs to her room and Billy stood in the kitchen with his hands in his pockets staring at the spot she just vacated.

“Damn it, Madison. Why can’t you just go away?”

He picked his keys up and walked outside to his truck and took off for the bar.

CHAPTER 25

Lily worked through the rest of her late morning shift and rushed home to change her clothes. She’d left Jake at his house that morning and though he seemed a little better than he had the night before, she was worried about him.

Thinking about how he lost his son tied her stomach in knots. From her point of view, no one was to blame for his death. Of course, that fact didn’t make it any easier for anyone to handle. Somehow, though, in spite of his evident grief, ease began finding its way back to Jake. There wasn’t a heaviness blanketed on top of him as there had been before he shared the story.

She knew it took a lot out of him to share his pain. He wouldn’t have shared if he didn’t trust her fully. And Jake wasn’t one that trusted easily. She had a feeling that trait was evident even before Madison crashed into his life.

Lily knew there was more between her and Jake than a passing summer fling. Whether or not he was ready to admit it was another story. Of course, if she didn’t get the proverbial green light, she would be Atlanta bound in a few weeks. That is, if the doctor’s appointment she had set for Tuesday came up with nothing. And that was a conversation she’d have with Jake if, and when, she needed to. No use screaming fire when the match wasn’t lit yet.

When Jake pulled in to her driveway, she checked her watch. They still had an hour or so before they had to be at the picnic. She thought they’d agreed to meet at the picnic. Confused, she met him on the porch.

“I thought we were meeting at the Olsen’s.”

“We were. You look pretty.”

She twirled the skirt of her blue sundress a bit for him. “Thanks. You look pretty cute yourself.” And she kissed him on the nose.

“You don’t mind that I came here, do you?”

“Of course not. Come on in. I just have to dry my hair.”

“I didn’t feel like sitting at home by myself, you know?”

Lily grabbed his hands. “I know.”

The way he felt when he was with Lily was like nothing he’d ever felt before. After all the garbage he’d been clinging to, he finally felt free of the bullshit. Free of the guilt. He wanted to tell her, convince her to stay, but he wasn’t sure he had enough to offer her. The job she was taking in Atlanta sounded perfect for her, and she was really excited. He didn’t want to ruin it. In his mind, he thought that the distance might not be so bad but in his heart, he knew he needed her closer. But still, he kept silent, not knowing Lily wanted him to express just that.

“Give me five minutes and I’ll be ready.”

“No rush.”

Jake walked around her room, looking at pictures, carefully lifting them by the edges and admiring her skill.

He had to raise his voice over the sound of her hair dryer. “These pictures are fantastic, Lil. When did you take them?”

“Those are the ones I told you about. Remember when I bought the guitar? I took those then.”

“I’ve never been there. We should go sometime.”

“Yeah. Let’s do that. I’d like to go in the morning, when the sun comes up. I have some of the sun setting. It’d be nice to see it in a different light.”

He sat in her desk chair. Her date book open to the week. Today’s date was circled with a heart and she’d written “picnic with Jake” in bold red letters. He smiled to himself. Tuesday, he noticed, she had a doctor’s appointment at noon. He wondered briefly why she would be going to the doctor’s here instead of waiting a few weeks when she moved to Atlanta.

“Ready.”

He took a moment to appreciate what he saw. Her hair cascaded down her back and her eyes sparkled with happiness. Every time he looked at her, he couldn’t believe how beautiful she was, how full of life and honesty. He silently thanked whoever was responsible for bringing her into his life.

He quickly walked over and brushed a stray strand of hair away from her eyes. Lily leaned in as he cupped her face in his hands.

“You are amazing, Lily Burns.”

Her breath hitched like it always did when he was about to kiss her. The feeling never diminished, it only grew stronger with each passing day. She only needed to hear two words from him,
Don’t go.

“I wanted to thank you for yesterday.”

“Jake, you don’t have to—”

“No but I want to. I don’t think I’ve ever opened up to anyone quite like I did yesterday. Just you being there for me meant so much.”

“Well, you’re welcome. I’m just sorry you had to, have to, go through that pain. If I can do anything to take even just a little bit of it away, tell me and I’ll do it.”

For a moment he thought about asking her to stay here with him, asking her not to go to Atlanta but he felt like he’d already asked too much of her. So he kept his wishes silent.

“Just being here helps me step away. Somehow, you’ve helped me unload some of the guilt, some of the sadness. I don’t know if all of it will ever go away but I don’t think it will haunt me like it has. I just wish I could repay you.”

Lily thought about letting him know she wanted to stay with him but she wasn’t sure if it was the right time, if he was just feeling this way because the pain from yesterday was still raw.

Smiling, he reached for her hand and pulled her closer. “Let’s go.”

The short drive to the Olsen’s house made Jake anxious. He couldn’t quite pinpoint the reason for his anxiety other than the fact that he hadn’t really spent much time with them in the last couple years. Madison had driven an invisible wedge between Jake and the people that mattered to him. He was now determined to remove that wall and get on with his life.

“Do I look okay?” Lily asked as she pulled down the visor to apply her lip-gloss in the mirror.

When Jake looked over, he saw the most beautiful woman he’d ever met, both inside and out.

“You look great.”

When she smiled, his heart tripped up a bit and he resolved to talk to her about Atlanta, a conversation they’d both been avoiding. He couldn’t let her leave without at least telling her how he felt. Even though he thought it was obvious, the words somehow seemed important, too.

As they pulled into the driveway, the first person they saw was Mrs. Olsen carrying a huge bowl of potato salad out of the house. “Jake, Lily! You made it. Thank you for coming.”

“I wouldn’t miss your potato salad for anything in the world, Mrs. Olsen. Let me get that for you.” He leaned in and gave her a kiss on the cheek.