Three Hearts One Soul (The Soul Series #1) (15 page)

“What do you want from me Whiskey?” I scream, letting my tears fall angrily down my cheeks. “Do you want to know that you broke me? Do you want to know that I didn’t get with another man because things didn’t go well for me after you left?
Do you want to know that you changed my life and I never did get it back? Is that what you want? Will it make you feel better? Well?! Will it?!”

“No,” he rasps. “It won’t.”

“Then why are you doing this to me, we used to be friends,” I cry, struggling.

“Heaven, stop.”

“No, I wish you would get out of my life. I wish I never met you. Let me go!”

I struggle in his grips, twisting my wrists in a poor attempt to free myself. Whiskey hurls me forward until our bodies are flush against
each other’s. Then before I can struggle a moment longer, his lips are on mine. Everything in my world stops. I stop thinking. I stop struggling. I stop trying to stand. Whiskey’s arm goes around my waist and he supports me as my legs give way. My tears run down his cheeks and combine in our kiss as he moves his lips over mine, making me come alive in a way I haven’t felt for years. In a way I haven’t felt since
him
.

I can’t find it in myself to move my hands, so I let them fall limply to my sides as Whiskey presses me closer, exploring my mouth with his lips. He slides his tongue in to dance with mine and oh, it feels amazing.
The taste of him. The smell of him. Every damn thing about him has a flame sparking inside me that I thought was long gone out. He sucks my bottom lip into his mouth and works it over with his soft, supple lips. I struggle to gain my control back, but I know I have to. I can’t…I can’t do this again when I know he’s only going to leave.

With every strength
inside me, I shove at Whiskey’s chest, forcing our lips apart. My heart burns, my whole body tells me to leap back onto him and let him take me against the wall but that’s not going to do me any favours right now. Whiskey looks down at me, his eyes blazing with lust. I step back, taking in a deep, steadying breath. He hurt me. He told me he doesn’t give a fuck about me. He has disrespected me in so many different ways in the few days he’s been back, it’s about time he got a dose of his own cruel words. So, putting a cold look onto my face I say, “Well, thanks, I needed that. Now, if you’ll leave my fucking house and not come back. I would be forever grateful.”

I turn and walk into the hall way, just before I disappear I turn back to him. “Oh, in fact, if I never had to see you again…that would make me forever grateful. You’re nothing to me Jarrod, nothing. You closed my heart off to you a long time
ago, it’s too late to fix that.”

“Heaven!” he says, in a ‘oh come on, don’t be like that’ sort of tone, but I don’t turn back.

Chapter 12

“You look like hell,” Jase murmurs into my hair as I snuggle into him later that night.

“So do you.”

He laughs and then coughs. I rub my hand over his chest in strong, small circles. I feel helpless, it’s all I can do for him now. All I can give him to make him feel just slightly better.

“What happened Nev?” he
croaks, his voice raspy.

“Nothing, I’m ok.”

“You look like hell, you truly do.”

“My best friend is leaving me, how do you expect I’ll look?”

He chuckles softly. “I suppose. How are you and Whiskey getting along?”

“Ok,” I whisper.

“That’s a lie, baby.”

“Does it matter if it’s a lie or not?”

He strokes my hair. “Yes, it does to me. Tell me what happened?”

“Jase it’s fine, honestly.”

“Nev, don’t lie to me. I might be dying but I don’t want you to lie to me.”

“Don’t say that,” I rasp. “Please.”

“Look at me Nev.”

“No.”

“Look at me.”

I roll and force my eyes to meet his. His skin is grey now, and his eyes are sinking slowly. He looks terrible. I know he feels terrible. I’m trying to be so strong but each day that I see him fading away, I know my strength is going with him.

“You can do this, I know you can. You can get through this and you
will
go on. I know how you feel right now is so bad you think you will never feel ok again, but baby, you will.”

“No,” I croak. “I’ll never be ok without you.”

“But you will, life will lead you down the right path. Promise me you won’t sink Nev, if you sink it won’t make me happy.”

“I promise,” I say, not quite believing my own words.

“Now tell me, what happened with you and Whiskey?”

Not wanting to lie anymore and needing to tell someone, I say, “He kissed me Jase.”

Jase stiffens.

“Before you get upset, know this. He kissed me after he told me I mean nothing to him,
then I came home and saw him having sex on my couch. He kissed me, I pushed him away and told him he means nothing to me, too. I don’t know what’s happened to us Jase, the connection, it’s gone.”

Jase is
quiet a long, long moment. “Whiskey cares about you Nev, he truly does.”

“No Jase, he doesn’t.”

“He’s in a bad place, he’s in trouble Nev.”

“I know Jase, but I can’t help him if he’s going to treat me like that. I’m not strong enough.”

“You are, beautiful girl, you have to believe that.”

“Whiskey doesn’t want my help, Jase.”

He sighs and his eyes scan my face. “He might not think he needs it, but he does. Promise me you’ll help him Nev, promise me you’ll at least try.”

“A lot of requests you have,
Mr. Levanox.”

He smiles. “I only get one chance at making sure I don’t leave a mess behind.”

“What mess?”

I flinch when I hear Whiskey’s voice.
Magic. I roll and see him standing at the door. He doesn’t even look at me as he walks in, he just smiles over at Jase.

“Sit, brother,” Jase murmurs.

Oh great. Here we go. Whiskey finally looks at me, giving me a ‘you told him’ expression. Yeah, well, what did you expect? Whiskey sits beside the bed, and I sit up, gripping Jase’s hand and helping him sit up. When he’s comfortable, and his wheezing has calmed down, he turns to Whiskey.

“I know what’s been going on between you and Nev.”

Whiskey sighs. “Yeah, I’m sorry all right?”

“No, you’re not.” Jase
says, his face hard. “Why Whiskey? Have you forgotten how well we all used to get along?”

“Things change, Jase.”

“Maybe, but she didn’t do anything to you and there’s no need for you to treat her the way you are treating her.”

Whiskey sighs and puts his head in his hands. “Yeah, I know. Ok?”

“I want you both to do something for me, I want you to stay with me a few hours and I want us all to talk and laugh like we used to. Don’t let me die without finding that connection between us, without fixing what we all broke five years ago.”

I drop my head. Oh Jase, please.

“Jase,” I whisper.

“Please Nev, I’m asking for one night.
One night.”

I look up and Whiskey is watching me. He drags his eyes away and turns to Jase. “All right, one night.”

Jase’s face lightens up and I can’t say no to him.

“Anything for you, Jase.”

He beams and grips my hand, then Whiskey’s. “So who’s getting the Chinese food?”

Whiskey stands. “I guess that’ll be me.”

Jase nods at him with a grin so big, it hurts my heart. This really will make him happy and if it will make him happy, I’ll do it. When Whiskey walks out, I turn to Jase and smile. “That was cheeky, even for you Jase Levanox. Using your sickness to get what you want.”

Jase grins. “You know me, always getting what I want. This will be good for us Nev, you’ll see. Whatever front Whiskey is putting on, you know it’s not real don’t you? He still cares about you.”

I’m not going to bother telling him I don’t believe it. Instead I smile and say, “Yeah, maybe you’re right.”

“So, you’re not mad that I did this tonight?”

I smile and slide off the bed, gripping my handbag. “Not mad at all, I’m going to freshen up.”

He grins at me and even though he’s tired, worn and strained, he’s still so gorgeous.
So full of that beautiful life that is going to be ripped from me far too soon. I give him a wink and walk into the small bathroom. His parents paid good money to get him a nice room, with a double bed and his own bathroom. I freshen up my face and splash some cool water over it. I’m nervous and I don’t know why. These boys were my life once, I don’t need to be afraid of being around them both again. I hear Whiskey’s booming laugh outside the door and know he’s returned.

Taking a deep breath, I walk out. Whiskey has conned the nurses into giving him a few food trays and he’s lined out the
Chinese containers along them at the end of Jase’s bed. He also has managed to sneak in a bottle of vodka. That man truly is a rebel at heart. He turns when I walk out and gives me a heated look, then turns back to Jase. I stare at the two of them and smile, so different and yet so alike. Whiskey is dressed in all black, as always, and his dark hair is messily styled, almost as though purposely put like that.

Jase is in his white gown, completely bald and yet there’s something so similar about them. I grin and walk over, sitting on the end of Jase’s bed. Jase props himself up with a few pillows and Whiskey sits beside the bed on the chair, putting his feet up. They land so close to me, I give them a scowl. He chuckles and hands me a cup of orange juice. I take a sip and I can taste the vodka, I wheeze a little and put the cup away from my lips.

“You are going to hell, Jarrod Levanox.”

He grins at me. “I’ll go down happy though.”

I put my cup up into the air. “Cheers.”

We all clank glasses, even though Jase is not having vodka, obviously. We dig into the
Chinese food and chat easily about the nurses, the hospital and how many numbers Whiskey had slipped in his pocket since he’s been here. Apparently, he’s had about five, which is good considering none of them actually know him. I don’t think I could ever bring myself to just slip a piece of paper into a man’s pocket, I mean what if he threw it back at you and laughed in your face, making a big scene? Ugh, I couldn’t take it.

I lean back against the end of the bed, making myself comfortable and Whiskey amuses himself by pressing the remotes and making me slide up and down, up and down. Jase laughs and rolls his eyes, but it’s the first time I’ve seen him so happy in
weeks and this is what I want for him. It’s all we could ask for. He deserves these last moments of his life to be perfect, without flaw and pain. I slap Whiskey’s hand away when he presses the button sending me too far up and stumbling forward into Jase’s lap.

Chuckling, Jase grips my shoulders and hurls me into his chest. I scoot around so my back is pressed against his chest and I’m leaning against him. “You know Whisk,” he murmurs. “You wouldn’t have been so quick to toss her in my lap five years ago.”

Whiskey chuckles and leans back. “No, I wouldn’t have. I would have dropped you on your ass.”

I flush, but I feel myself relaxing. A nurse comes in and does Jase’s
obs and flashes Whiskey a smile, to which he returns a wink, and then leaves. Jase gives him a pointed look and Whiskey shrugs. “Always keep the options open.”

“Do you remember that day at school, when Nevaeh went ass over head in front of the entire student body?” Jase asks, changing the subject.

“Aw, Jase,” I groan, covering my face with my hands.

“Fuck yeah, best day of my life, watching that cute skirt ride up and show the entire student body
your tiny, little round ass.”

“Shut up Whiskey,” I laugh loudly.

Both boys stop talking and I stare over at them. “What?”

“
Nothin’,” Whiskey says, sipping his drink.

“Your laugh is like sunshine, Nev.” Jase whispers.

“I have a story for you,” I say, snuggling further into Jase. “What about the time we all got caught skinny dipping by the police officer, down at the lake?”

Whiskey roars with laughter. “Holy fuck that was funny, remember what he said?”

Jase chuckles. “You young kids these days, publicly displaying your privates for the world to see. Whatever happened to Jesus?”

I burst into a fit of giggles. “Then Whiskey walked right up to him and shook his hand, and he was buck naked.”

Whiskey snorts. “The man just about had steam coming out of his ears.”

“Jase was trying to hide me, because they knew it wouldn’t go down well,” I giggle.

“Yeah that was a challenge, I had to keep dunking you because you kept giggling,” Jase chuckles.

“Oh, what about the time Harold tried to kiss Nev at the senior dance?” Whiskey pipes up with a chuckle.

“Ugh, you two and Harold. That was the most awkward moment of my life.”