Three Letters (42 page)

‘Mebbe. The thing is, there are times when Connie gets ratty and makes life difficult, and that’s when I think back to that night, and wonder how different it might have been.’

He looked up, and Alice detected much regret in his voice as he confided, ‘All right yes, I admit it, there are times when I wish it hadn’t been so fleeting; when I wish I’d taken
Ruth’s address, but I didn’t, so that’s the end of that. So now, I’m married to Connie, and her friend is probably happily married to the old boyfriend she took up with, so that’s an end to it.’

Alice wondered, ‘If you didn’t know anything about her, how come you know about the boyfriend?’

‘Because Connie told me.’

Alice was confused. ‘When?’

Steve fell back in the chair, ‘God! You don’t leave
any stone unturned, do you?’

‘You gave me the impression that you never saw or heard from her again, and now you say she took up with a boyfriend. So, when did you find all this out?’

‘When me and Connie got together. Connie turned up at the Birmingham concert hall where we were playing a gig.’

‘On her own, was she?’

‘Well, yes. At first, I thought she’d come to see Jim, but he wasn’t playing
that night. So, she singled me out. We got talking, then we went back to the hotel for a drink, and that’s when she told me about her friend … that she’d got together with an old boyfriend, and that I hadn’t meant anything to her … that I was just “a bit of a laugh”.’ He frowned. ‘That surprised me, because I wouldn’t have called our time together “a bit of a laugh”. It was sensual, and beautiful,
and I will never forget it.’

Alice was curious. ‘If you felt like that, why did you let her go so easily?’

‘We’d got a great new opportunity to extend the tour and suddenly we were moving on. It was a chance we couldn’t pass up and we had to leave immediately.’ He paused. ‘She was different, though … kind of … real. Maybe if things hadn’t turned out the way they did, I’d have found her again,
one way or another. But, like I said, I chose my career, I didn’t know where she lived and I just left.’

‘So when Connie turned up shortly afterwards, you went to bed with her as a consolation prize!’

‘Course not! I took her for a drink, because I needed to know where Ruth was, and if there might be a chance that she and I could get together. But then, before I could even ask the question, she
said she hadn’t seen her friend lately, because she was so wrapped up in her relationship with her old sweetheart. She said she felt really let down, that they’d been friends since school and now she’d been dropped just like that … no phone call, no word of any kind.’ His voice fell. ‘Believe it or not, Alice, I really would have liked to have seen her friend again.’

Alice gave a naughty smile.
‘God, you really took to her, didn’t you?’

Steve nodded. ‘More than I realised at the time, yes. But like I say, water under the bridge and all that.’

‘But it still doesn’t explain how you and Connie became an item.’

She waited for an answer, but Steve wasn’t listening. Instead he was back there, Connie telling him how her friend had reunited with her first love, and that she was incredibly
happy.

He had not realised until then how deeply he’d been drawn to Ruth. Oh, yes, they’d made love and it was wonderful, but that was not unusual with the girls he met on tour, and when it was over that was it. And yet, there had been something about Ruth that had stayed with him.

‘Steve?’

Steve looked up. ‘I’m sorry … what did you say?’

‘I asked how you and Connie got together.’

‘To tell
the truth, I’m not altogether sure. I mean, one minute we were talking about her friend finding happiness with her old love, then suddenly she was talking about herself, and her own love life. She’d been dumped, and she started sobbing … in a shocking state she was. I didn’t know how to deal with it. She said she was too upset to travel back home, so I booked her a room in the hotel, and she begged
me to stay with her. I didn’t know what to do. The other blokes had gone off with their dates, and here she was, needing me, so I took her to her room and she wouldn’t stop crying, so I stayed and comforted her, and … well … you’re right. We ended up in bed together, and I’m not proud of that. In all honesty, that was the last thing I wanted.’

‘But you couldn’t resist the opportunity, could you?’

‘It wasn’t like that!’

‘Ah, well, you would say that, wouldn’t you?’

‘No! Really … she was in a bit of a state … sobbing, and vulnerable, and for some stupid reason I felt responsible, so one thing led to another, and before I had time to turn round, she was hanging around on the tour with us. Next thing, we were married.’ He shrugged. ‘The rest you already know.’

Before she could comment,
he pushed back his chair and stood up. ‘I could do with a nightcap. How about you?’

‘No, I think I’ve had more than enough.’

He chuckled. ‘You haven’t got Connie’s constitution.’

‘Oh, you reckon, d’you?’ After draining her glass, she handed it to him. ‘I’ll have the same again, thank you.’

‘Right!’ Surprised, he went to collect another round of drinks.

While he was gone, Alice couldn’t help
but wonder if he had ever really loved the cold and extravagant woman who, in her opinion, had bamboozled him into marriage. She suspected that Steve was more unhappy than he would ever admit, and that Connie was only along for the ride. But, as Mike had reminded her, there was nothing they could do unless they were asked. It was best to let married people sort out their own problems.

When Steve
returned with the drinks, she took a great gulp of the wine, before asking nervously, ‘Can I ask you something, Steve?’

‘As long as it’s not too near the bone, yes.’

‘OK … a straightforward question requires a straightforward answer. Do you agree?’

‘Now you’re making me nervous. Just ask the question.’

‘OK. Do you love Connie?’

There was a long, tense moment while he recalled the early days.
‘I thought I loved her … at the time.’ he answered thoughtfully.

‘And now?’ Alice was not about to let it go.

‘I’m not really sure.’ He was torn in so many directions. Deep down he knew how he felt towards Connie, but it was another thing to confess it to someone else; especially to Alice, who had a canny knack of cutting into his thoughts.

Carefully placing her glass on the table, Alice leaned
forward. ‘You’re a lovely man, Steve, but … shall I tell you what I think?’

‘If I say no, I expect you’ll tell me anyway.’ Steve wasn’t concerned; except for the amount of wine she had downed, when usually she didn’t drink at all. None the less, he had always thought his brother was a very lucky man to have such an honest and loving woman in his life.

‘Right! Well, this is the way I see it,
and stop me if you think I’m out of order.’

‘Huh! It sounds like I’m about to get a lecture.’ He didn’t mind, though. Alice’s honest and straightforward manner was a welcome change from Connie’s guarded and devious way. In fact, come to think of it, he and Connie hardly ever had an in-depth conversation these days.

‘Right then!’ Alice drained her glass before unleashing her thoughts. ‘First,
you have a wife who never supports you in your work; she’s never seen to fuss over you … kiss you or hold your hand. She never laughs with you, never travels with you, or does anything that includes just the two of you. Instead, she flies off to sunny climates on her own, whenever the fancy takes her. She seems to care more about shopping and holidays than she ever cares about you. Moreover, she
hasn’t done a day’s work since you put a ring on her finger. She’s selfish, lazy and demanding. She has a habit of looking down on you, and whenever we all go out to dinner, it’s plain to see she’s not comfortable with your friends and family, and she’s even been seen to flirt with the men at the table.’ She wagged a finger at him. ‘There! I’ve said it now.’

In the deafening silence that followed,
Alice was horrified at her torrent of honesty. She slunk down into the chair. ‘Oh my God, Steve, I’m sorry. I wasn’t meant to get so angry. It came out all wrong.’

Steve was shocked to his roots. He had never known Alice to be so condemning of anyone, and he felt the need and duty to defend his wife. ‘Look, I know she’s got her faults, Alice, but you’re being too harsh on her. You’ve made her
out to be a monster, and that’s not fair.’

And yet, in between the bitchy bits about the shopping and such, Steve recognised the truth about his wife’s character. He knew how difficult she could be at times, but to hear it being spelled out – especially by the normally placid Alice – was hard to take.

Mortified by what she had said, Alice apologised again. ‘I’m truly sorry, Steve. I shouldn’t
have said those things.’ Even so, she felt the need to qualify her words. ‘The thing is … I’m not the only one who thinks she’s wrong for you.’

Steve had heard more than enough. ‘All right, Alice.’ Scraping his chair back, he went to her side and tucked his hand under her arm to help her up. ‘Let’s talk tomorrow, eh? Tonight you’ve had a bit too much of the wine. Come on now. Let’s get you to
your room.’

Alice was devastated. ‘Oh, Steve, what will you think of me? I didn’t mean to say all those dreadful things. They just fell out before I could stop them.’ Though she had meant every word.

In the lift, she leaned heavily on him, apologising again. ‘Don’t be angry with me. It’s the wine. I’m not used to it. I need to see Susie … she shouldn’t be alone in the room without me.’

‘She’s
not alone, Alice. We organised a hotel babysitter … that nice lady who’s got children and grandchildren of her own, remember?’

In fact, the hotel babyitter met them at the door. A kindly woman with a sunny smile, she quickly took charge of Alice.

‘Don’t you worry, sir. You can leave her to me now, sir. I’ll make sure everything’s all right before I leave.’

‘I’m her brother-in-law,’ he explained.
‘Is my niece in bed? I’d like to take a peek at her, if possible?’

‘Oh, yes, it’s Mr Bates, isn’t it?’ She now recognised him as being the occupant of number fourteen, a few strides down the hall. ‘The little darling is fast asleep. She’s been no trouble at all.’ She glanced at Alice, who was having trouble standing up straight, ‘I can see to her mammy if you want to get off. I’ll make sure everything
is all right before I leave.’

Steve thanked her. ‘But if you could just keep an eye on my sister-in-law for one moment, I’d like to take a peek at my niece.’

‘Of course, sir.’

Taking a sleepy Alice across the room, Steve helped her onto the bed. He gently removed her jacket and shoes, before placing them on the chair, beside her handbag. When he covered her with the eiderdown, she promptly
closed her eyes and fell asleep.

‘She’s not used to the drink,’ Steve explained. ‘She had a couple of glasses of wine, which seem to have gone straight to her head.’

‘It does the very same to me, sir.’ She smiled over at Alice. ‘I’ll watch her while you take a look at the child, then I’d best be off … if there’s nothing else you need?’

She lingered, as though waiting for new instructions; or
maybe a small gesture of gratitude.

Steve understood. ‘Thank you for keeping an eye on the child.’ Digging into his jacket pocket, he drew out some coins, which he handed to her.

‘Oh, thank you sir.’ She rammed the money into her apron pocket.

While Steve went into the adjoining bedroom to see the child, she went over to the bed and shifted Alice into a more comfortable position. Then she sat
herself in the chair to wait for Steve’s return.

Susie was fast asleep. ‘Rest well, sweetheart,’ he murmured. ‘It sounds like you’ve a busy day ahead of you tomorrow, and then it’s home again.’

Stooping down, he placed a gossamer kiss on Susie’s forehead, tucked her arm under the clothes and drew the bedcover up to her neck. ‘Good night, God bless.’ He stood a moment watching her, thinking how
dearly he would have loved to be a father. But since there was no changing Connie’s mind, he had abandoned the possibility of fatherhood.

Disillusioned, he returned to the other room, where Alice was flaked out. ‘Thank you.’ He could see the older woman was eager to be off. ‘I’m sure she’ll sleep right through till morning.’

‘I’m sure she will.’ From her curt statement and the expression on
her face as she glanced at Alice’s now prostrate body, she did not approve of anyone drinking themselves into such a state. ‘I’ll be leaving now, but if you want anything at all, just dial zero.’

‘Thank you.’ He opened the door and saw her out, then, having checked again on Susie and Alice, he headed off to his own room.

Once there, he placed his shoes on top of his suitcase and flung his jacket
over the sofa. A short time later, he fell into the welcome softness of his bed, where, bone-tired and weary, he was ready for a good night’s sleep, but sleep was elusive. Haunted by his deep longing for children of his own. He could not understand why Connie had no wish to be a mother.

At 7.30 a.m. the ringing of the bedside telephone shocked him awake.

Bleary-eyed and disorientated,
he took a minute to focus before inching across the bed to grab the receiver. ‘Yes, who is it?’