"It doesn't have to be permanent." But god, he wanted them to be. He wanted to pierce and tattoo Cameron, to mark Cameron as his own.
"Do you want them to be?"
Xander met Cameron's eyes, even though he knew it was unlikely Cameron could really see him, and nodded. "I do. I want to know they're always there. That I did that. That you let me. That it got you off."
Those pretty blue eyes moved restlessly, randomly. "I'd let you do anything, I think."
"That could be dangerous, letting me know that." There was a lot he could do. A lot he wanted to do, his mind jumping from one thing to another.
"You won't hurt me."
"No, but I might decorate you." Make you mine. He managed to keep the words to himself. It was too soon, wasn't it?
"Anything. I have nothing to lose here."
"Thank you." He took Cameron's mouth and then slid to the side, eager to make the call, to find out if any of the things he was imagining would be possible. Cameron's hand stayed on his side, keeping them connected. Keeping them together.
He called down to the front desk, his own hand sliding along Cameron's hip.
"Good morning, Sir. How can we help you?"
"Hi, I was wondering if you have a piercer available. Specifically for nipple rings." His hand slid along Cameron's hip.
"Absolutely. We have a body mod specialist on staff."
"Oh, that's great. Can I arrange an appointment for Cameron?"
"Would you like to go to a studio or have someone come to you?" This place was amazing.
"We'd like to have someone come here, please." Cameron would be more comfortable in a place he'd gotten familiar with.
"Yes, sir. Do you have a time in mind?"
He looked over at Cameron. "I think later this evening." He wanted to let the anticipation build.
Cameron's face was relaxed, hands moving over his skin.
"How does eight p.m. sound to you?"
"It sounds perfect. Thank you."
"You said nipple piercing. Should he be prepared to do any other services for you?"
"That's all for now. I assume he does tattoos as well?" Maybe he was getting ahead of himself. "Never mind. Eight is good, thank you."
"He does, sir. Piercings, tattoos, extreme mods. He's brilliant."
"Oh, okay, cool. I'll let you know if there's anything else later on."
He hung up and turned to Cameron. "It’s all set."
"Oh. Wow. That easy?"
"Yeah, that easy."
He curled back up against Cameron. "Tonight at eight."
"You'll have to tell me what time it is."
It stunned him, how Cameron had none of the coping skills that his sister had -- talking watches, audio books, even a cane. "Did you leave your aids at home?"
"Aids?"
"Talking clock, cane, you know, things that help you out."
"I don't have any."
Xander blinked. "What? None? But that's... how do you... really?" He didn't understand that.
"How do I what?" Cameron looked honestly confused.
"Do things on your own. I mean, you've been losing your sight for a while, right?"
"Eighteen months. I was okay until about three months ago; I did okay. Then I didn't and, well, it was the beginning of the end."
"What are you going to do when you get home?" Cameron would need help until he learned to do things for himself.
"I'm not going home. I don't have anywhere to go."
"I don't get it, Cameron."
Cameron pulled away from him. "You have to understand. I was a cowboy. I was worth something for a while there. But it's like my ex says, two men can't live together when one is broke. Folks talk. And he was still a whole person, so I sold out and bought a ticket and a weekend here. He helped me get enough pills to end it, but I'm thinking that's messy and the guys here have been great, so maybe I'll just walk out into the ocean."
"You... that..." Xander was, frankly, stunned. He shook his head. He hadn't understood, right? Right?
"It's okay. I've made peace with it, and you... You're like magic, Xander. Pure magic."
He shook his head again. "No. No, I won't let you do it." He wasn't letting go of Cameron.
"I have to. I'm not worth anything anymore."
"That's not true!" The words exploded from him in a shout.
Cameron's eyes went wide, the man retreating, falling off the edge of the bed with a thump.
"Cameron!" He vaulted over the bed, pulling Cameron off the floor, pulling him close. "It's not true, it's not true. You're magic, Cameron."
"I'm sorry. I wasn't going to tell you, but... I trust you."
"I'm glad you told me. I'm glad you have nothing to go back to, because that means you're free to come home with me. To live a full, wonderful life with me." He wanted to kill Cameron's ex. Kill him a lot.
"I don't have anything to offer you. Not a dime. No skills. I can't even shave myself."
"You are magic, Cameron. Absolute magic. You have lots to offer me, and you can learn how to shave yourself, trust me." He pressed their foreheads together. "Don't tell me being blind makes you a useless waste of space. My sister is blind, and she has a good life. She has value. And so do you."
"I can't even support myself, Xander."
"Not as a cowboy, no. But I'm betting there's lots of stuff you can do, or learn to do."
Cameron's face was a study in loss. "What? What can I do? I can't see. I can't work. I don't..." His voice dropped. "I don't even know how to start figuring out what to do."
"I'll help you. You don't have to do it all alone. I can't believe your ex dumped you like this. That was really cowardly of him." It was so hard not to shout and yell and let Cameron know how angry he was that Cameron felt like he had to give up.
"He was right. I'm no good to him, and he'd lose everything, backing me."
Xander couldn't believe Cameron was just rolling over and taking that. "Well, you're good to me, and I'm going to back you." Xander wasn't letting Cameron end his life. Not when they had so much between them.
"I don't even know how to answer that."
"You don't have to answer it. I'm taking you home with me." It was as simple as that. Cameron was not walking into the ocean never to return.
Cameron blinked. "What?"
"You said you had nowhere to go; now you do." He wasn't taking no for an answer, either.
"I... You can't mean that."
"If you can mean it that you're going to end it after this week, I can mean it that I'm bringing your home with me." And he did. Truly. It was the perfect solution, but more than that, it was what he wanted.
"Why would you do that? I can't give you anything."
"Cameron, haven't you been listening to everything I've said over the last couple days? You're magic."
Cameron's eyes were wild, searching everything, the man's breath coming fast. He put his hands on Cameron's cheeks and pressed their foreheads together. "I'm right here, and I'm not going anywhere."
"I'm blind."
"So?" That wasn't the be all and end all of the man. Now he just needed to convince Cameron.
"Didn't you hear me?"
"I don't think you being blind is the fatal catastrophe you seem to think it is." He was still floored that Cameron had just bought into his ex's bullshit.
"It's so scary. I don't know what to do."
"I know it's scary, but I'm here, okay? Right here, and I won't leave you to go through it alone." Cameron wouldn't have to do anything alone ever again.
Cameron's hands found his face, looking at him. He closed his eyes and let Cameron have all the time he needed to see.
"Are you real? Is this a lie?"
"I'm real, Cameron. And I mean it. When our time here is over, I want to keep you. The feeling's been growing since our first day here. Knowing you don't have anything to go back to just makes it that much easier to work out the logistics."
"I don't know what to say. You're like everything I needed."
"You don't have to say anything more than yes, you'll come home with me." Those were the words he'd wanted to hear for a while now. He almost couldn't believe that it was going to be this easy to hear them.
Cameron's lips opened. "Just like that?"
"Just like that. We can have that scene, Cameron. The one where we're sitting in front of the fire, me reading to you."
"I... I want to. I want to be important."
"You're important to me, Cameron. More important than anything in a long time." He had to make Cameron believe him.
Cameron moved into his arms, hid in the curve of his neck.
He stroked Cameron's back. "Shh. I have you."
"I'm sorry."
"For what?"
"What kind of man comes and falls apart in a stranger's arms?"
He was really going to go and kill Cameron's ex. Slowly and painfully. "We're not strangers anymore, Cameron."
He felt the soft little chuckle. "No. No, I don't suppose we are."
"It's all going to be okay, Cameron. You'll see." It occurred to him how, really, Cameron wasn't going to see, and he snorted, tickled. "You'll learn my apartment and the bookstore and be comfortable there. Do you like dogs?"
"I love dogs. I had three at the ranch."
"Then we'll get you on the list for a dog."
It wasn't going to be easy-peasy or anything, but not being able to see wasn't the end of the world, and Xander knew that, before Cameron even realized it, so many things would be second nature. It certainly wasn't something to off yourself over.
He tried not to tense up and growl about that again, though. Not now. Not here. This place was for joy, for feeling, for learning each other.
"I don't know... I'm not good at being good at nothing." Cameron's fingers kept exploring him.
"Oh, we'll find you stuff to be good at. Stuff aside from making me feel incredible, I mean." He loved how his words made Cameron's touch different. "But we don't have to worry about that now. Now we focus on just each other, just this." He leaned in and licked behind Cameron's ear, tongue playing there. "I'm having your nipples pierced this evening."
"Oh, God." Cameron pressed closer, clinging. "Why?"
"Because you love it so much when I play with them, and because when we go home the rings will be there, a souvenir of our time here."
"What did you want? What was your fantasy?"
"I wanted someone to love on. Someone to care for who wasn't a pushy bottom." He smiled, bringing Cameron's hand to his face so his lover could feel it. "I didn't know you or your name, but I asked for you."
"I just asked to have someone help me feel everything I could."
"I'm glad you weren't someone they'd hired for my fantasy." Then Cameron wouldn't have been his.
"No. No, this took everything. It was my last hurrah."
"Now it's the beginning of your hurrah." Xander would make sure Cameron always knew he was loved, cared for, wanted, useful. Still alive and functional. He still couldn't believe no one had helped Cameron, taught him. It was criminal.
He was here now, though. Cameron was his and would learn just how full his life could be. They'd learn this together.
"I want to suck you. I want you to suck me."
"Fuck, yeah." No hesitation, no worry. Cameron was right with him.
He made a happy noise in the back of his throat and shifted, dragging the sheet off Cameron as he moved to his hands and knees over the man. He took a lick of Cameron's cock and then looked down his body to Cameron's face. "My prick is about an inch from your lips." He was hot and hard and wet at the tip, and he wanted to feel the heat of Cameron's mouth on him.
"I can smell you."
Cameron's mouth pushed onto his cock, the suction wild, immediate, and fierce. Xander might have answered, but he couldn't do more than moan loudly.
Ravenous. Cameron was ravenous.
He just felt for a moment longer, and then took the tip of Cameron's cock into his mouth. Cameron arched, cock just spreading his lips. He tickled the tip with his tongue. Cameron spread, heels digging into the mattress. He loved that, loved how he could make Cameron lose it. Not that Cameron's mouth wasn't doing a great job of making him nuts. It was everything he could do not to simply fuck Cameron's mouth, take it hard.
Cameron's hands wrapped around his thighs, tugging him in deeper. He let his hips press his cock in, even as he pulled Cameron's prick farther in. Cameron's groans and cries vibrated around his cock. He hummed, took Cameron deep into his throat. He was going to have bruises on his thighs, Cameron gripped him so tight.
Xander concentrated on sucking, on working Cameron's prick with his tongue. Cameron was working him, too, taking him into that hot, amazing throat. He whimpered as the tension built between them, his balls beginning to ache. Cameron's fingers brushed his sac, nudging his balls. He could feel his orgasm building, and he sucked harder on Cameron's cock, not wanting to come on his own.