Three Simple Steps: A Map to Success in Business and Life (6 page)

In 2011, researchers demonstrated, by implanting electrodes directly into a part of participants’ brains, a striking method to
reconstruct words, based on the brain waves of patients who were thinking of those words. The technique, reported in
PLoS Biology
in 2012, relies on gathering electrical signals directly from patients’ brains. Based on signals from listening to patients, a computer model was used to reconstruct the sounds of words of which patients were thinking.

A research team at the University of California, Berkeley monitored the brain waves of fifteen patients who were undergoing surgery for epilepsy or tumors, while playing audio of a number of different speakers reciting words and sentences. With the help of a computer model, when patients were presented with words to think about, the team was able to calculate which word the participants had chosen. They were even able to reconstruct some of the words, turning the brain waves they saw back into sound on the basis of what the computer model suggested those waves meant.

For example, if I tell you to try not to think of an elephant wearing pajamas, an image of just that flashes in your mind. You can’t read, hear, or say “elephant wearing pajamas” without imagining it. Our brains are wired to trigger images from words and words from images instantaneously.

A news bulletin just in says a highly placed person, close to the scene of the incident, and speaking on condition of anonymity, reported that the allegedly drunken elephant, wearing pink pajamas, tripped over a stone, crashed negligently into a tree, and rolled hopelessly out of control down a hill before plummeting into a raging sea
.

Because of the use of emotive words, that image will stay in your mind even longer. The combination of words and emotive language has a powerful effect on our brains. (It is, however, a story with a happy ending because elephants are remarkable swimmers and have been known to swim across oceans. This elephant turned up safe and was found innocent of all charges.)

There are many books available about the power of words. The only property that concerns us in the
Three Simple Steps
is that words trigger images, images trigger thoughts, and thoughts become reality. We must consider words as magic bullets that carry the power to create or destroy. Cast like a spell from a voice, pen, or keyboard, they have the ability to make or break us. They also have the power to energize or diminish anyone at whom we fire them.

Being aware of the properties of thoughts and the power of emotion-laden words gives you the toolbox to control mentality and maintain individual thought.

Imagine this scenario: you are sitting down to watch your favorite television program when a 30-second commercial tells you about a quick loan that can take away those expensive monthly credit card payments. Although you have no interest in the offer and see it for the snake-oil solution it is, that outside stimuli immediately creates in your mind an image of the credit card bill you received a few days ago, the one you have hidden in a drawer in the hopes it will go away.

You immediately think about how much you hate being trapped in debt. The thought
debt
is launched with the emotion of being
against
it. Without you realizing it, you just increased your burden. That thought has no option but to become the material equivalent. Even though it was triggered by outside stimuli, it is still your thought, and the material equivalent comes back to you as the source of the thought. Something will happen in your environment to continue your sense of outrage at being in debt. A storm might rage that night and you wake next morning to find you have the only house on the street that lost some roof tiles. Because you have no cash, you also have no choice but to go further into credit card debt to fix the damage.

You curse out loud. “This sucks! I hate being in debt.” The words shoot into the universe with only a little less power than
thoughts. Those words trigger further images of you not being able to afford a vacation this year or the look of disappointment on your child’s face when she can’t have the brand of shoes she has been craving. The images happen so fast that you are barely aware of them.

The result will be that the experiences that show up in your life ensure you cannot afford to go on vacation, and your daughter is ashamed of her shoes. You might now feel like putting your foot through the television screen whenever that advertisement reruns, but it is a lot easier just to change how you react to your thoughts. The responsibility for them is yours. You own the thoughts and words. The difference between being in or out of the quicksand is merely taking responsibility for how you react to what you think.
Simple
.

Before I fully understood this, a friend and I worked in the same place. We had similar backgrounds, lifestyles, and challenges. She has watched me climb out of the quicksand and live an adventure that could be a book on its own. She, however, still works in the same job, one she now claims to hate. Her lifestyle has diminished in real terms over the years, and she is mired in debt. A doctor recently prescribed antidepressants for her.

Over many dinners, we have debated the importance of managing mentality. For some reason, she has never grasped this critical point about needing to direct one’s own thoughts and words.

“How can it be?” she asks, “I don’t want to be in debt. I hate debt. I’m fed up with always having to watch the pennies. When I don’t want it, why do I keep getting it?”

I explain that the thought about not wanting debt manifests as a physical match of itself . . . the situation of not wanting debt. Something will happen in her life that will increase the hatred of debt. It is often an unexpected repair bill, but sometimes it’s a “too good to refuse” offer for a piece of clothing, kitchen utensil, etc. Equally, it could be the tearful eyes of her son when
he wants a new bike to be cool like his friends. She can’t stand to see him upset, so she uses the credit card to buy what she cannot yet afford.

The more we think about not wanting something, the more we are against it and reinforce that situation in our lives. The answer is simple, but my friend refuses to change. If she managed the thoughts in her head, created images of things she really did want, and carefully controlled what she said in person or over social media, her life would improve.

Although simple to conceptualize, it is not an easy thing to do in practice because we are all creatures of habit. To help me to remember the power of my thoughts and words, I borrowed a trick from my favorite classic novel,
Far From the Madding Crowd
by Thomas Hardy. Set in a time when word of mouth was the most common way to communicate and lack of clarity could be life-threatening, Gabriel fails to impress the woman he secretly loves: “Well, Miss—excuse the words—I thought you would like them. But I can’t match you, I know, in mapping out my mind upon my tongue.”

Mapping your mind onto your tongue is a great way to visualize mentality control. When that credit card bill arrives, you should replace your angry thoughts with a smile. Take a pause, and a deep breath, and think about your reaction. Map it out on your tongue with the same care as if you were drawing directions for someone. Say to yourself something like “I am debt-free, and celebrated my last credit card payment with a glass of my favorite wine, purchased with cash.”

Even though that is not your current experience, by thinking and speaking about what you really want, what you are
for
, rather than what you are
against
, you create the possibility of a better
outcome. Better thoughts go out into the universe. The words you used have triggered even better images of a happy family sharing in your success, and the emotional feeling of a weight lifting off your shoulders. All those new thoughts and images have no choice but to become your reality. It might not happen overnight, but when consistently practiced, this small lifestyle change will have dramatic effects on your experiences.

Some might say this all sounds mysterious, but it is the basic physical law of conservation of energy. People generally accept it holds true in the laboratory or in nature. They do not, however, usually consider how it must hold true in their own lives. To get out of the quicksand, create better thoughts and words. That is all it takes. Until you habitually do this, it will prove hard to reinvent yourself and get that better life you want. Start with small steps in situations that we encounter many times a day.

Most of you can recall a time when you were feeling perfectly well, and then a colleague at work says, “Are you feeling okay? You look tired.” Suddenly, a picture of you looking tired flashes in your mind, with gray skin and bags under your eyes. Perhaps a memory of when you were last sick cuts in. You recall you went to bed late last night, and although you had not felt tired until then, it makes sense that you should. Very quickly, those thoughts change into their material equivalent. I have lost count of the number of times I have overheard this sort of conversation, and then the recipient says something like “Now that you mention it, I do feel a bit weary.”

    
   If you don’t feel well or do feel tired, never tell anyone that. Instead, tell them “I could use more energy” or “once I am fit and healthy, I’ll be fine.” Every time you
say something like “I’m feeling depressed” or “I feel down today,” you are simply adding to your burden, albeit unintentionally. I had an appointment yesterday in which the person attending to me told me twelve times in twenty minutes how depressed she felt because of a personal crisis in her life. With every statement I could see the weight pressing down on her. A normally tall, straight, attractive woman, she looked stooped and weary. As much as I felt sympathy for her, I wanted to cut out her tongue to save her.

    
   Avoid use of limiting words such as “cannot” when referring to yourself. Instead, reach for a higher energy statement such as: “When I can . . .” Avoid using the words “perhaps,” “hopefully,” “one day,” and “maybe” because when you use those words, what you are really saying is “I’d like to but I can’t,” and the universe hears your thoughts clearly.

    
   Eliminate destructive words such as “hate” from your vocabulary. For instance, replace “I hate it when that happens . . .” with “I prefer it when . . .” Again, we do not need to be perfect, and I mess up plenty of times. We just need to attempt a few small changes to make a big improvement in outcome. Before I wrote this section, I was with a friend who kept telling me how much he hates his job. He has been telling me that for almost fifteen years. All those words can do is trigger thoughts and images that return to him, so he gradually finds himself getting more of what he doesn’t want.

    
   Begin and end every process of communication positively. Today, this is especially important when using electronic media. It is imperative that the last thing you type is a positive word leading to positive thoughts. So many people just sign off with an initial when a small
positive word will work wonders. Try “Best,” “Keep smiling,” or “Cheers.” Because you wrote it, you get the benefit. The recipient reads it, gets an image of a smiling friend, and now they get a positive jab too. Little changes, big outcomes.