Three Sisters (20 page)

Forgetting about leeks, she absentmindedly followed a small street to the town's vast, mist-covered lake at the far southern end.
Just as well,
Yuxiu thought.
A clean break. He wasn't mine to begin with, so no harm done. Even if I'd become Gao Wei's wife, there'd be trouble if they ever found out what had happened to me.
She told herself it was a lost cause and vowed to forget about it. But she couldn't figure out why her acceptance of that fact made her feel even worse. Was there anything in this world that could restore Yuxiu's maidenhood? She'd gladly trade her right arm for it—even one of her eyes.

***

Now was not the time for Yumi to tell Guo Jiaxing that she was pregnant because an atmosphere of hostility existed in the house. Guo Qiaoqiao and her father had heated arguments every day, and neither one would give in. Guo wanted to send his daughter to work in the countryside after her sophomore year in high school. That would not only make him look good, but it would also solidify his status in the commune hierarchy. A year or two of fieldwork would lay a good foundation and establish Qiaoqiao's credentials for whatever she did in the future.

It is important for the young to have wide-ranging goals. Guo tried to pound this concept into his daughter's head with fatherly concern, citing his son's experience as a case in point. Guo Zuo had gone down to the countryside to work alongside the peasants as one of Mao's "educated youths" and had gained entrance into the Party. When the call went out for factory workers, he was hired at a government-run factory in a big city.

But Qiaoqiao would have none of it. A few days earlier she'd fallen under the spell of an attractive, well-dressed woman in a movie about textile workers and was dead set on getting a job as a spinning machine operator at the Anfeng Commune textile mill. But how could Guo let his daughter take a job in a small textile mill run by the collective? She could wind up with a case of arthritis if she wasn't careful. But he had another objection, one better left unspoken, and that was the fact that Anfeng Commune was located outside the town of Broken Bridge and thus beyond his influence, which could make things difficult in the future. Yumi guessed that this was his real concern, but she kept that to herself. Where Qiaoqiao was concerned, the less she was involved the better.

Guo Jiaxing sat in his rattan chair in the living room; Qiaoqiao stood in the doorway of her bedroom. Neither spoke. The silence lay heavily in the room for a long time before Guo Jiaxing lit a Flying Horse cigarette and said, "You need to join a rural production brigade. Can't you get that through your thick skull?"

"No!" she said as she leaned against the door frame, pouting. "Let's say I do what you want. What if you lose your grip on power? Who'll take care of me then? I don't want to spend the rest of my life on a farm."

Yumi's heart skipped a beat. The girl might seem dull-witted, but she was smart enough to worry about her long-term prospects. That was the last thing Guo expected to hear from his daughter.

What kind of talk was that! Guo pounded the table in anger, startling Yumi.
Qiaoqiao is a foolish girl after all,
Yumi thought. One doesn't use words like "what if" and "lose power" when talking to an official. How could she not have known that? Yumi heard her husband push his chair away and tap his finger on the tabletop.

Once he got his anger under control, he said in a loud voice, "The red flag will never be taken down." With the mention of the red flag, the situation turned so grim that Yumi grew fearful. She'd never heard her husband use that tone of voice before; he wasn't merely angry, he was furious.

Silence returned to the living room for a long moment. Then Qiaoqiao slammed the double door of her bedroom—
bang, bang.
That was followed by her shouting from inside: "Now I see. After Mama died you got yourself a concubine and joined the ranks of the feudalists, capitalists, and revisionists. Now you want to send me to the countryside so you can please your concubine!"

Yumi heard every word and all she could think was
This girl is outrageous. Now she's dragged me into the middle of this.

Guo's face was dark with anger. With his hands on his hips, he stormed outside, where he spotted Yuxiu, who was quietly observing him from the kitchen. He pointed at her through the window.

"I forbid you from backing her up anymore!" he ordered. "Who does she think she is, the mistress of a feudal household involved in class exploitation?"

Yuxiu tucked her head into her shoulders at the warning just as the skipper of the commune speedboat opened the front gate. When he saw the anger on Director Guo's face, he stood there and waited.

Suddenly Qiaoqiao burst out of her room and ran toward the skipper. "Come. Take me to my grandmother's house."

He stayed put.

Guo Jiaxing turned to his daughter. "You haven't taken your final exams," he shouted, as if this had just dawned on him. His tone softened a bit. Qiaoqiao ignored him. She walked out the gate, dragging the skipper by the arm; he kept looking back nervously until Guo Jiaxing dismissed him with a weak wave of his hand.

With Qiaoqiao and the skipper gone, an air of calm settled over the yard, abrupt and unexpected. Guo stood there, smoking furiously. Yumi slipped quietly out the door and stood beside him. Obviously heavy-hearted, he sighed deeply. "I've always stressed the importance of ideology," he said to her. "And now, you see, we've got a problem."

Yumi answered his sigh with one of her own. "She's just a child," she said to comfort him.

"A child?" He was nearly shouting, still in the grip of anger. "At her age I'd already joined the new democratic revolution."

As Yuxiu watched the scene through her window, she could tell that Yumi was ecstatic regardless of how she tried to pretend otherwise. She did a good job of covering it up.
My sister is like water, always finding a way to flow downward. She manages to fit in perfectly without leaving the slightest gap,
Yuxiu said to herself, admiring her sister for a talent that she herself did not possess.

Yumi looked at Guo and kept her eyes on him as they filled with glistening tears. Then she took his hand and laid it on her belly. "I hope we never make you angry like that," she said.

Orientation is important at all times and allows for no mistakes—ever.

Take flattery, for instance. Ever since coming to Broken Bridge, Yuxiu had taken pains to wholeheartedly "serve the people" in the person of Guo Qiaoqiao. Now it looked as if she'd bet on the wrong number and had lost more than she'd gained—this was something that she felt with great intensity. Since Yumi was pregnant, her status in the family was assured, probably even enhanced. From now on, she'd be the one for Yuxiu to look to, it seemed. Even if Qiaoqiao grew increasingly imperious, she would not stay home forever, and Yuxiu berated herself for not thinking far enough ahead. Fawning on someone is hard work; just being shameless isn't enough. Strategy and tactics are the essence of fawning. And tactics are tied up with orientation. Yuxiu had lost her way, but that wouldn't last. Qiaoqiao's departure left only one path open. Yuxiu had set herself adrift, and now she had to find her way back to the shore. It was time to get on Yumi's good side.

But, as they say, last night's food loses its taste, and the grass behind is no longer fresh. Yuxiu's attempts fell flat with Yumi. Nothing illustrated that better than the act of serving rice. After Qiaoqiao left, Yumi refused to let Yuxiu wait on her, preferring to do everything herself. Most of the time she acted as if Yuxiu weren't even there, which had the desired effect.

Yuxiu felt as if she'd been kicked out of a production brigade. The difference this time was that she did not blame her sister. There was no way around it—the fault lay with her. She'd stood with the wrong unit, had chosen the wrong orientation, and in the process had caused her sister considerable pain. She could not blame Yumi for being disappointed in her; it was totally deserved. It was now up to Yuxiu to behave differently, to talk less and do more. If she worked hard at reforming herself, she could show her sister that she was a new person. And once her sister saw that new person take shape, her anger would dissolve and she'd be in a forgiving mood. Then she'd let Yuxiu wait on her. Despite all that had happened, they were still sisters, and that gave Yuxiu all the confidence she needed.

Yuxiu was right to think that way, but she chose the wrong tactic. Yumi was giving Yuxiu the cold shoulder in hopes that she would reflect on her behavior and admit that she'd done wrong. What Yumi needed was an open admission of mistakes. It was all about attitude. And by attitude she meant that Yuxiu should stop thinking about saving face. As long as she adopted the proper attitude, Yumi, who was, after all, her older sister, had no interest in embarrassing her and would be happy to have her continue to live with them. But this was lost on Yuxiu, whose desire to turn over a new leaf was undermined by the frown that seemed permanently fixed on her face. Yumi saw that as a sign of resistance, even of outrage over the treatment of Guo Qiaoqiao. That sort of obstinacy was not what Yumi had hoped for.
Well,
she said to herself,
all right, if that's how you want it. Since you're hell-bent on doing it your way, don't blame me for making things hard for you.

Yumi wore an unusually stern expression. With Qiaoqiao now out of the house, she would bang her rice bowl and chopsticks down on the table, adding to the heavy atmosphere. Yuxiu was stymied. One day passed, then another and another, driving Yuxiu to the point of distraction. She spoke as little as possible, and her darkening mood increased the impression of defiance. Admitting mistakes is never easy, because you need first to determine what the person you're dealing with is looking for. Only after you know that can your attitude be considered proper.

The day for Yumi to lay her cards on the table finally arrived, but Yuxiu was still in the dark. Guo Jiaxing had gone to a meeting out of town, leaving the sisters home alone. The house was oppressively still, an outbreak of close combat threatening to erupt at any minute. Right after breakfast Yumi summoned her sister from the kitchen. Yuxiu rushed into the living room, water dripping from her hands. One glance told her that something was wrong. Yumi was sitting with her legs crossed in the rattan chair, a seat normally reserved for her husband. She didn't say anything right away, and Yuxiu's heart sank. She stood in front of Yumi, who ignored her and contemplated her own feet. Then she reached into her purse, took out two yuan, and laid the money on the table. "This is for you, Yuxiu," she said. With her eyes on the money, Yuxiu breathed a sigh of relief.

This was a welcome development, not what Yuxiu had expected. "I don't want any money," she said. "I don't need to be paid for waiting on my own sister." That was just the right thing to say.

But it had no effect on Yumi, who then took out a ten-yuan bill and fingered it for a moment before laying it next to the two yuan. "Give this ten yuan to Mama."

With that, Yumi got up and went into her bedroom, and as she stood alone in the living room, Yuxiu realized what was happening. "Give this ten yuan to Mama." Yumi was telling Yuxiu to go back to Wang Family Village, wasn't she?

In the grip of panic, Yuxiu followed her sister into the bedroom. "Sister," she said.

Yumi ignored her.

"Sister!" Yuxiu called out again.

With her back to Yuxiu, Yumi crossed her arms and gazed out the window. "Sister," Yuxiu repeated, controlling her emotions. "I can't go back to Wang Family Village. If you force me to go, I'll have to kill myself."

Clever as always, Yuxiu knew that this was exactly the right thing to say. To begin with, she was telling the truth, but it also represented strength in weakness. That is, while it sounded feeble, almost like begging, hidden in it was the power of coercion when directed at her own sister.

With a faint smile Yumi turned and said with due politeness, "Go ahead, Yuxiu, kill yourself. I'll find you some nice woolen funeral clothes."

This shocking comment took Yuxiu's breath away. Her indignation was no match for the crippling shame she felt. She stared with a dazed look at Yumi, who returned her gaze. The length of time that the two sisters stared at each other, unblinking, was protracted and grim; it carried the dual significance of ending the past and creating a new beginning.

Yuxiu blinked and her gaze began to soften. Softer and softer, weakening even her legs until she fell to her knees in front of Yumi. She knew perfectly well that the effect of kneeling lasted forever. Once you go down on your knees, that's where you will stay, always inferior.

Still Yumi said nothing. As Yuxiu knelt, tears spilled from her eyes; she kowtowed, touching her head to her sister's feet. Time passed slowly. Then, dropping her arms, Yumi crouched down and began gently stroking Yuxiu's hair, over and over as her eyes also filled with tears, big translucent drops that ran down her cheeks. Cupping Yuxiu's chin in her hand, she said, "How could you lose sight of who we are, Yuxiu? Have you forgotten that we're sisters? I'm your big sister." There wasn't a false note in what she was saying. She wrapped her arms around Yuxiu and held her close.

Enough had been said by then that Yumi felt it was time to get everything out in the open. And so, she talked in fits and starts, starting with the day of her engagement, all the way up to her plans to bring Yuxiu to town to see if she could make something of her life. Tears of sadness accompanied every word. "Yuxiu," she said, "our brother is just a baby, and of all the girls in our family, you're the only one who has a chance. How can you not know what's in my heart? Why must you act like a seductress? Why do you always fight me?" There was a bleak quality to Yumi's voice. "You have to amount to something, Yuxiu, you just have to. Show the people of Wang Family Village what you're made of. Please don't disappoint me anymore."

Yuxiu looked up at Yumi, and at that moment she knew she was not her sister's equal; she had let her down terribly and was unworthy of her.