Three Times Dead (3 page)

Haki winced as Reka eased away the dressing from his ear.

“It’s almost healed,” she said as she examined it.

Haki put his hand up and gently explored the wound. The sword had taken off the helix of the outer ear, leaving a jagged edge to the fold of skin. It was crusted over with a thick scab that felt rough under his fingers. Reka pulled his hand away.

“Don’t touch it. You must allow it to heal by itself.”

“It itches.”

“Leave it alone or it will bleed again.”

She sat back on her haunches, her swollen belly thrust in front of her. Haki took his hand away from his ear and placed it on her belly, feeling the baby beneath kick into the palm of his hand.

“Already he wants to fight,” Haki said. “He shall be a great warrior. We shall call him Toa.”

“And if it’s a girl?”

“It’s a boy,” Haki said with certainty. Then, seeing the frown on her face, he smiled softly. “If it’s a girl, then she shall be called Ataahua, for she shall be as beautiful as you.” And he leant over and kissed her.

“What are you smiling at?” It was a girl’s voice.

I opened my eyes – Reka. I smiled and said, “Hello, beautiful.”

“Well, hello, handsome.”

I blinked. The walls of the raupo hut faded as the white walls came into view. It wasn’t Reka; it was Gina. I hadn’t seen her since Piha.

I was immediately aware of the intense pain at the end of my leg.

“It hurts,” I said. “Call the doctor, or nurse, or whatever.”

She reached over and pressed a button at the side of the bed. A nurse immediately came in. I was sweating from the pain and couldn’t speak.

“He says he’s in pain,” Gina said.

“The doctor has set up a PCA,” she said, as she briskly rearranged some of the leads around my bed. She placed a bell-shaped piece of plastic in my hand. “You press here,” she said, pointing to a button, and behind me something beeped. “It administers just one milligram of morphine every six minutes. That should bring your pain under control. If you press it more often, nothing will happen. You have to wait the six minutes. See how that goes. You should feel it already?”

I could feel the drug travelling through my vein as it felt cold, but it hadn’t got to the important bit yet – my brain. I shook my head.

“I’ll wait with you so we know it’s working.”

A couple of seconds later I felt the tension leave my body and the pain subsided as a floating sensation filled my head. The pain was still around the seven to eight mark, but at least it wasn’t the eleven it had been before.

“That feels good,” I said.

“You’ve got about four minutes until you can administer again. That should build on the previous dose. Let me know if you don’t think it’s working. It won’t take away the pain completely but you should be comfortable. You ok with working it now?”

“Simple,” I said, and managed to smile. “Time it, Gina.”

The nurse checked all the cables and lines again and then left.

Gina looked up from her watch where she had checked the time. “I came down with Mitch and Scott. They’ve gone off somewhere with their skateboards. Not sure where, and left me with you. You were out of it when we arrived.”

Skateboard, I thought to myself – would I ever be able to skateboard again? Or surf for that matter, but then I’d hadn't gone surfing lately.

“I’m sorry about your …” She looked down at the end of the bed.

“I don’t want your pity,” I said. “Is it four minutes yet?”

“Another minute to go. Listen, about Josh, and all that …”

“Gina, don’t start with your deep and meaningfuls right now, I’ve got enough to deal with.”

“You’ve been avoiding me.”

“You’re the one who ran out on me at Piha. What was that all about?”

“I don’t know, Bevan, I just got messed up. I just couldn’t do it any more.”

“Do what any more?”

“Play your game – the one we always play. You piss me off and then I do something stupid.”

“Time?” I interrupted.

“You should be able to press it again now.”

I pressed the button, the machine beeped and the cold fluid entered my veins. I waited for it to ease the pain off some more.

“Anyway, I wanted us back together, you know, like old times.”

“Like this?” I said, lifting my chin towards my legs – my one-and-a-half legs. “It’s hardly going to be like old times, eh?”

“I just want to give us another chance.”

I looked at her then and thought how much she resembled the pregnant woman in my dream – Reka.

“You’re not pregnant, are you?”

“No, I’m not.”

“Because otherwise you’d just be here because you feel sorry for me.”

“Is it so hard for you to think that I might be here because I want to be? Not because I feel sorry for you or because I’m pregnant?”

“And if you were, would it be mine or Josh’s?”

“I never did anything with Josh!”

“I’ve only got your word for that.”

“I don’t need to listen to this crap!”

She got up then and headed towards the door just as Mitch and Scott came in.

“I’ll meet you guys at the car,” she said as she stomped past them.

“Uh oh, domestic,” Scott said as he watched her leave. “How are you, bro?” he asked as he came forward, hand outstretched.

We shook hands. As the pain was building, I pressed my magic button again and was rewarded with the beep from the machine behind me. Third dose now and, not only was the pain receding, but I was feeling drowsy.

“Oh, gross,” Mitch said, peering underneath my bed. I couldn’t see what he was looking at.

“What is it?” I asked.

“They’ve got this pipe coming from your bed and it’s got this blood and other gunk in it.” Without warning he lifted up the sheet to check my leg. “Oh, it’s coming from the end of your leg. How gross is that?”

“Get the fuck out of here!” I yelled. “Just fuck off.”

“Ok, mate, we’re gone. Nice to see you too.”

The nurse came in as Scott and Mitch left together.

“Are you all right?” she asked.

“Just got visited by a couple of morons,” I said.

“Your girlfriend’s nice though,” she said as she checked my drip.

“She’s not my girlfriend.”

“Oh, sorry, I thought she was. She’s been here almost two hours now, just reading to you. I didn’t think you heard her but she said she would do it all the same, said it was better than not saying anything at all.”

“What was she reading?” I asked. I couldn’t see any book lying around.

The nurse opened the drawer and took out a book bound in red. “The Bible, we have one in every drawer. It was the only thing she could find to read.”

I laughed; Gina with a Bible, now that was a first. Then I felt bad, because she’d been here for so long, waiting for me to wake up, and all I’d done was talk mean to her. Too late now, I guessed. She’d never be back. I pressed the button again, thinking that six minutes must have passed, and I was right for the machine beeped. The nurse put the book back in the drawer and helped with me have a drink of water. As I settled back into the pillows, an easy lethargy overcame me and I drifted off to sleep.

Haki waited in the bushes, hearing the crackle of the fire as the buildings behind him burnt. He knew that the soldiers would soon come from the fort at the top of the hill to see what had happened to their storage depot at the side of the river. He shivered a little; the air was cool in spite of the fierce fire behind them.

“This kai is rubbish,” Matiu said as he tried to eat the hard biscuits that they had found in the stores. He threw it away in disgust. “They will lose this war if this is all they have to eat.”

A trumpet sounded from the fort – the soldiers were coming.

Haki waited with his musket primed, listening for the sounds of the soldiers coming towards them through the thick bush. In the depot behind him the flames burned higher and something exploded, sending dark plumes of smoke into the sky, masking the sounds of the approaching men.

Then he saw them, crouching as they made their way through the bush, three abreast with the long knifes they carried attached to the ends of their rifles. One of the men, an officer, turned and lifted his hand in a beckoning gesture, at the same time shouting a word of command.

The warriors fired, Haki with them. The bush exploded with the roar of the guns and the soldiers fell back, taking cover behind some of the trees. The officer did not get up again. Another man fired at them with a small gun, his shots taking out three warriors before he was himself hit by a bullet and he sank to the ground. He shouted something at the other men and then lay still.

Instead of the soldiers retreating, however, the deaths of their leaders seem to enrage them so much that they took up their weapons and charged forward. Haki was forced back as the soldiers advanced. He couldn’t see his fellow warriors around him but he heard them as they called out to one another in the bush. The soldiers had now taken the spot that they had just vacated, firing blindly into the bush where the warriors called, but their bullets went wide. As Haki peered through the leaves, he saw the soldiers building up a palisade of the stores left there, the biscuit boxes and sacks of potatoes. It was obvious that they were fortifying their position while the waited for reinforcements to arrive..

Haki started as a hand was laid on his shoulder. It was Matiu.

“We’re going around this way,” he said, pointing to Haki’s right. “Some of the warriors are going to rush the pa that the soldiers have made, but we’re going around the sides to see if there are any who have not made it there.”

Along with some of the other warriors, Haki and Matiu moved off as a second body of warriors rushed at the soldiers’ camp. The bush echoed with the sound of gunfire from both sides and the cry of wounded men sliced through the air. Ahead of him Matiu raised his finger to his lips. Haki listened. Somewhere below them they heard splashing – there was a man in the stream. They advanced forward and Haki was the first to see him, a white soldier, his face pale and his hand shattered by a bullet. He was scooping water over the wound as he knelt by the stream’s edge. Haki crept forward but the man heard him, raising his rifle as Haki ran out of the bush. Throwing aside the rifle, Haki pulled the patu from his waistband, raising it high as he ran forward. The man stumbled backwards and the gun went off, showering Haki with gunpowder while the bullet whizzed past his ear. Haki swung the patu in a wide arc, striking the soldier in the temple and pulling back as the man dropped, instantly dead. He wiped the sweat, now mixed with blood, from his face.

“Well done, brother,” Matiu said as he came out of the bush. “Let us return across the river.”

I heard voices and struggled awake. I shouldn’t be sleeping; I had to get across the river with the rest of the warriors.

“… a skin graft,” a male voice said.

“How long will it take?” It was a woman’s voice.

I opened my eyes. A man in a white coat was standing beside by bed and next to him was my mother.

“Hello, Bevan, I’m Dr Harris. We were just discussing your operation.”

“Operation?” I was confused. I’d just killed a man. I could feel the warm wetness of his blood on my face but when I touched my cheek, my skin was dry.

The doctor continued, “Yes, we’re taking you back into theatre on Tuesday to tidy up the site of the surgery so that it will heal in way that will take the prosthetic leg. It’s a bit rough at the moment and we don’t want it develop thick scar tissue. We’ll take a skin graft from your thigh and attach it to the skin around the wound. It should be a quick operation, about two hours at the most and then we’ll move you into the orthopaedic ward. You don’t need to be in the HDU now that you are doing so well. Do you have any questions?”

“How many ops are there going to be?”

“I can’t answer that, I’m afraid, as it depends on how the stump heals.”

“I’m sick of lying here.”

“I’m sure you are, Bevan, but it’s no use rushing your treatment as you’d end up with a very unsatisfactory result which would make it harder to fit a prosthetic leg.”

“And I’m sick of all the strange dreams too!”

“Dreams?” The doctor seemed uncertain.

“Yes, weird dreams, about a Maori warrior fighting in a war a long time ago and there’s an old Maori guy who talks to me.”

The doctor stared at me as if I had lost my mind. “It’s sound like you’ve been hallucinating – must be the ketamine although you’ve not had any for some time now. We’ve switched you to morphine but maybe we should consider a different analgesic.”

“No!” I cried. “I think I’d rather keep the drugs and the dreams thank you very much, doc!”

“Bevan! Be nice to the doctor,” Mum said.

“Why? In case he takes off my other foot?”

“Bevan, really! I’m sorry, doctor, he’s not normally like this.”

I wondered if the doctor knew that she was lying.

The sun was just beginning to rise from its slumber and the sky was turning from black to a deep blue. The men were restless, hungry, waiting for the tohunga to come and lift the tapu so that they could eat. Haki wished he would come soon, for his stomach was rumbling.

Matiu nudged him as the old man came from the settlement, followed by a small party of women carrying a basket from which steam rose in the cool morning air. The smell of food made Haki’s mouth water. But he had to wait. The women sang a waiatia as they approached but stopped some distance from the party of warriors while the tohunga came closer.

The men stood as the tohunga came to a halt before them and began a long speech of welcome in which he honoured their acts of bravery and prowess in the fighting. Haki fidgeted, eager for the man to finish but knowing he had to be respectful. Finally the tohunga gave the signal and the men shed their clothes and splashed into the shallow depths of the nearby stream, immersing themselves in the cold slow-moving water. As they emerged one by one, the water running off their bodies, the tohunga recited a karakia over each of them. Haki was one of the last to come out and he spluttered, for he had inadvertently swallowed a mouthful of the water, and Matiu clapped him on the back as he coughed.

“You have been made noa,” the tohunga declared as the men gathered once more on the bank, shivering in spite of the fact that they had dressed. “You can now eat.”

One of the women handed Haki a cooked kumara, the skin still hot from the fire and he tossed it from hand to hand as it cooled. The women laughed.

“You can handle the heat from the soldiers’ guns,” said Matiu. “But you cannot handle the heat of a hot kumara, Haki.”

The women laughed again and one at the edge stood up and walked to Haki.

“You are Haki?” she asked.

“I am.”

“A messenger came for you yesterday, from your wife’s village. Her pains have begun.”

Haki turned to Matiu. “My son is being born. I must leave.”

“I will go with you, brother.”

A noise woke me. Mark sat down in the visitor’s chair. He looked as though he hadn’t slept in a week.

“Hello, Bevan.”

“Hi,” I said faintly. The remains of the dream lingered and I struggled to focus. It had seemed so real. “Aren’t you supposed to be working?”

“Monday is my day off, remember? I work all day Sunday,” he added with a smile. Then he sighed. “Hard to believe it’s a week since …” his voice trailed off. “I’m sorry, Bevan. It was my fault. I should have been looking at the road.”

“You couldn’t stop the guy drinking, or veering across the road in front of us.”

“But if I’d been paying attention …”

“It might not have made much difference,” I said. “It’s him I blame, not you.”

Mark snorted. “As Christians, we’re not supposed to blame anyone, we’re supposed to forgive, but somehow I find myself struggling to absolve him. He could have killed us all.”

“Has he been charged?”

“Yes – drinking and driving, dangerous driving causing injury and driving an unregistered, unwarranted car. Basically he shouldn’t have been on the road at all.” He nodded towards the end of my leg. “I hear you’re having another operation tomorrow.”

“Yes, to tidy things up the doctor said. Then they’re moving me into the orthopaedic ward so they can get me up and about. Not looking forward to that, but as long as they keep me plugged into this machine …” I lifted the button that operated the PCA. “Mind you, this stuff gives me the strangest dreams.”

“What kind of dreams?”

I told Mark, describing as many details as I could remember, the most recent fresh in my memory. I felt comfortable telling him, knowing he wasn’t going to look at me strangely like the doctor did. He deals in the paranormal all the time – God, Son and Holy Ghost and all that stuff – so I guessed he’d be better at understanding it.

“What makes you think this dream is set in the past?”

I hesitated as I considered this. “I just know,” I said in the end. “In the dreams, I know that it’s not modern life. The soldiers ride horses and have swords. This guy I dream about has a patu. There are no roads, no cars, no mobile phones, no proper houses, just huts. It’s like I’m dreaming about something that happened a long time ago, I mean, like it
really
happened.”

He nodded when I finished. “Sounds like some kind of war. There were a few wars fought with Maori in the 1800s but I’d have to research it some more to find out if what you’re dreaming about really did happen as you say.”

“Why would I dream about a war that I know nothing about?”

“Beats me. Maybe you read something or saw something while you were here, or something at Parachute that triggered it.”

I shook my head. “I don’t remember anything like that. It’s really weird though because it’s not like it’s a dream, but more like a memory.”

Mark shrugged. “Maybe it’s the drugs just like the doctor said. I’ll get back to you if I find out anything. You got a mobile yet?” Mine had been smashed in the accident.

“Mum’s going out to get me one tomorrow while I’m in theatre, but I’ll have lost all of my numbers. They were saved to the phone and not the SIM card, so they’re history.” I thought then that I wouldn’t have Gina’s number either.

“I’ve got your mum’s number so I’ll text her tomorrow to get yours, ok?” Mark said.

“Sweet,” I said. My eyelids were heavy. I found that having visitors exhausted me.

Mark stood up and patted my shoulder. “I’ll be in touch, Bevan. You’re in my prayers.”

I nodded. I didn’t see him go, I was already asleep.