Three Weddings And A Kiss (33 page)

“No arguments,” De Gray said softly.

Before Lidian could reply, Dollie left the room, saying, “I have just the thing, a black habit,
form
-fitting, with a blue scarf. I’ll go see about it now!”

“Wait,” Lidian called after her, but the girl didn’t seem to hear. Nonplussed, Lidian gave De Gray a wry smile. “Well, it seems I’m going to ride with you tomorrow.”

“You’ll enjoy it.”

A silence fell over them. It was their first opportunity to talk privately since the night at Vauxhall. “What did, your brother look like?” Lidian asked suddenly. “I’ve never seen a portrait of him.”

“I have one that was painted of the three of us—Edward, Dollie, and me—when we were much younger. It was my mother’s favorite. She had it taken down five years ago when he died. She said she couldn’t bear to look at it. It’s at my town house now.”

“I’d like to see it someday,” Lidian said without thinking, and then colored. It sounded as if she were angling for an invitation.

He laughed at her discomfort. “That could be arranged.”

She hesitated and asked quietly, “How did it happen?”

Eric understood that she was referring to Edward’s death.
“A riding accident.
He fell during a jump he never should nave tried.” He stood and walked about the room, pausing to examine the figurines on the fireplace mantel. He glanced at Lidian swiftly. It wasn’t easy talking about Edward, but something in her warm brown eyes encouraged him to continue. “I’ve thought about him every day since. He and I were nearly inseparable. God knows I never wanted to step into his shoes. At times I—” He stopped and closed his hand around one of the figurines, his fingers gentle on the fragile porcelain. “I wonder if I’ll spend the rest of my life being a poor imitation of Edward.”

“Surely no one’s asked you to,” she murmured.

Eric shrugged. “Edward was meant to be the next earl and to manage the family’s affairs and produce the heirs my father wants. He was born for it, not I. While Edward always made the highest marks at school and conducted himself honorably, I spent my time playing pranks and chasing after barmaids.…And now I find myself trying to live up to the damnably high standards my brother set.” Eric smiled crookedly. “One of my former friends actually called it a ‘stroke of luck,’ losing Edward. I’ve never given a damn about the family fortune or the title. I feel as if I’ve stolen it all from him somehow.” Eric set down the figurine while a wash of uncomfortable heat built beneath his cravat. He hadn’t meant to say so much…he’d never talked so freely about Edward to anyone. Sensing Lidian’s small presence nearby, he turned and discovered that she was standing just behind him.

Her face was soft with compassion. “If Edward couldn’t be the one to take care of the family, I’m sure he would want you to. And I know without a doubt that you’ll do very well at it.”

Eric stared at her wordlessly. Lidian Acland wasn’t like any of the shallow, giggling young flirts he had met or like the coolly sophisticated society lionesses his friends had married. She was honest, caring, sincere—and so beautiful that he almost hurt with wanting her. Admittedly she had faults, most notably her stubbornness, but that was fitting justice. Things had always come too easily to him. He had never had to wait for anyone or anything in his life, and now he
was finally having
to learn patience.
God grant me the strength
, he thought wryly, longing to cup the smooth curves of her cheeks in his hands and kiss her.

Instead, he flicked the tip of her chin with his finger in a careless gesture. “Have you heard from Spencer?” he murmured, much as he might have asked Dollie about one of her admirers.

Her thick black lashes lowered. “No. I’ve spoken to my mother about him, though. I told her I’d heard through the grapevine that Chance had returned. I said I had no further interest in
him.…She
was relieved, of course, and said that I deserved better than Chance.” Her gaze fell to her hands, her fingers twisting together. “Do you still see him at your club?”

“Occasionally.”
Eric refrained from telling her that Chance had established himself as an arrogant young ass. Apparently he was earning a reputation as a dashing blade about town. There were frequent rumors concerning his affairs, gambling debts, and even a duel over some aristocrat’s wife. As far as Eric knew, few men claimed to respect or even like Chance Spencer, although there always seemed to be a few dandies and wastrels hanging about him. “Is it true, what you said to your mother?” he asked. “Do you have any further interest in him?”

Lidian was spared from having to reply by Dollie’s timely interruption, announcing that she had found the perfect riding habit and that Lidian must come try it on at once.

In London society there was no more eagerly awaited harbinger of spring than Lord and Lady Blasedale’s annual ball. “They always stage a treasure hunt,” Dollie informed Lidian breathlessly, “and all the guests are given the same clue. Last year the prize was a ruby necklace, and the year before a diamond brooch! This is the first year I’ll be allowed to participate. Wouldn’t it be exciting if either of us was to find the treasure?”

Lidian smiled at the thought. “Yes, it would—although I rather doubt I would be the one to discover it.”

“One never knows,” Dollie said, and spent all afternoon speculating on what the treasure could be.

The Blasedales’ huge, ungainly mansion seemed to occupy half of Upper Brook Street with its stalwart granite-and-marble facade of carved cherubim and seraphim. Its many fountains were filled with statues of dolphins, winged horses, and other fantastical figures, while each wall was covered with scenes of mythology and history.

Lidian was dressed in her best gown, the green-and-white satin. A strand of pearls borrowed from Lady De Gray had been twined through her dark hair. Her mother and the De Grays had praised her appearance tonight, saying she had never looked so beautiful. But it was Eric De Gray’s opinion she was looking forward to the most. “I’m positive he’ll be there,” Dollie had assured her earlier in the day, and Lidian had crossed her fingers hopefully. She couldn’t explain exactly why she wanted to see him so much, but she was giddy with anticipation.

Just before the De Grays had left for the ball, a pristine white box had arrived for Lidian, containing a perfect pink-and-white orchid. There was no message on the enclosed card, only the engraved name of Lord Eric De Gray. Under the smiling regard of the entire family, Lidian had flushed in pleasure and fastened the orchid to her bodice.

Occasionally she touched the fragile petals of the flower as she talked with the other guests at the ball. They were congregating in the ballroom, awaiting an announcement from Lady Blasedale. Lidian’s gaze swept the room in search of De Gray, but to no avail. Just as she began to think he might have decided not to attend, he appeared at her side. He was dressed in buff-colored pantaloons, a well-tailored black coat, and a crisp white cravat. “Miss Acland,” he said, his eyes gleaming warmly, and he raised her gloved hand to his lips.

“Thank you for the orchid,” Lidian said softly. “If s beautiful.”

“It doesn’t do you justice.” His gaze moved over her in a quick, almost proprietary sweep.

She gave him a shy smile. “Your family seems to think you have taken an interest in me.”

“What do you think, Miss Acland?”

She hesitated and said softly, “I’m not certain.”

Before he could reply, Lady Blasedale appeared before the assembled guests. The black plumes fastened in her gray hair bobbed merrily as she nodded her thanks for their applause. “Welcome, dear guests, to our annual ball! Tonight we will share a delightful repast, and later I hope the young people will dance until their slippers are worn, but for now—our treasure hunt.” She paused as many guests, especially the females, cheered their approval. “The treasure this year is an emerald bracelet.” She smiled as she heard the rustle of pleased murmurs. “I have but one clue to offer you as to its location. As you search through the mansion, bear in mind the number
four
.” She held up four pudgy fingers to emphasize the point and beamed at them. “Good luck to you all, and if anyone tires of the hunt, please join us for refreshments as we await the outcome. We shall alert you when the bracelet has been found by ringing this bell.” She indicated a large silver bell and pulled a silk cord, sending a loud musical peal throughout the room. “The treasure hunt has begun!”

The guests scattered immediately, one man pausing to examine the fourth spindle on the staircase, someone else heading for the fourth picture in the art gallery, and others going to investigate such objects as the fourth pot in the kitchen and the fourth room in a particular hallway. Dollie came to Lidian, her eyes bright with excitement. “Come, let’s hurry!” she exclaimed. “I have some ideas about where it could be.”

Lidian glanced up at Eric. “Will you join us in the treasure hunt, my lord?”

He laughed and snook his head. “I have every confidence that you and Dollie will find the bracelet. I’ll pass the time in the billiards room with friends—”

“And come out reeking of smoke and brandy,” Dollie interjected, shaking her head disapprovingly.

Eric gave her an innocent look, as if unjustly accused, and headed toward the billiards room.

Eagerly Dollie tugged Lidian out of the ballroom. “Let’s go upstairs,” she said. “I happen to know a thing or two about Lady Blasedale. She loves to do needlework, and she has a special sewing room for it. The bracelet could be hidden there or perhaps in the nursery. The Blasedales dote on their children and grandchildren.”

“I’ll investigate the sewing room,” Lidian said.

“I’ll locate the nursery, then.”

Sharing Dollie’s enthusiasm, Lidian hurried to match her pace as they ascended the long staircase. They split apart at the top of the stairs and went on their individual missions.

Just as Eric reached the billiards room, a sixth sense prompted him to glance over his shoulder. A dark figure moved in his field of vision, a man walking through the entrance hall.

“Come in for a drink, De Gray,” someone from inside the billiards room called. It was his friend George Seaforth, his face flushed to a shade of red that clashed with his ruddy hair. Eric threw an absent smile in Seaforth’s direction. “Later. I believe I’ll join the treasure hunt after all.”

“I’ll wager he’s searching for something other than the bracelet,” Seaforth remarked, and there was a scattering of laughter as Eric departed. He made his way to the entrance hall and stared at the man, who had already reached the top of the stairs. Eric couldn’t be positive of his identity, but he had a fair idea. “Spencer,” he muttered, his jaw tightening.

Having found Lady Blasedale’s sewing
room,
Lidian ventured inside and scrutinized the small wooden table and the covered embroidery hoops arranged in a row. Each piece of work was in a varying stage of completion. She checked beneath the fourth hoop from the left and the fourth from the right, finding nothing beneath them. Next she searched through the baskets of colored silk thread that were neatly piled on chairs and footstools. To her disappointment, the bracelet wasn’t there. As she prowled around the room, trying to think of anything she had left unchecked, she became aware that someone was standing in the doorway. She turned toward the intruder with an inquiring smile…until she heard his voice.

“The only treasure worth finding in this place is you”

Her face turned stiff, and she suddenly felt cold. “What do you want, Chance?”

5

C
hance gave her a wicked smile, the one he had always employed to charm his way into getting whatever he wanted. His striking presence, so elegantly dark, seemed to fill the room. “I want to talk with you.”

“It’s too late for that,” she said in a low voice. “Once I might have been interested in what you have to say—but no longer.”

He laughed gently. “Don’t be angry with me, darling. You have every right to be upset about my past behavior, but I deserve a chance to explain—”

“You deserve nothing,” she said fiercely. “And I don’t give a fig for your explanations.”

“Don’t you?” He smiled again, his gaze seeming to take in the disturbed quickness of her breath, the rising flush on her face. “You’re not indifferent to me, Lidian, although you’re trying hard to convince yourself of it.”

“You’re right,” she said, her eyes glittering. “I’m not indifferent. I hate you because of what you’ve taken from me.”

He appeared momentarily startled. “What have I taken, pray tell?”

She shook her head, refusing to explain. “Just stay away from me. I wish never to see you again.”

“How can you say that? Don’t you remember what we shared? We were in love with each other, Lidian.”

“I thought so,” she said, wiping a hot tear that had suddenly trickled down her cheek. “But apparently we were both in love with
you
.”

He made a soft sound and moved forward, intending to comfort her. Lidian stepped back, nearly stumbling over a large basket of spools. “Stay away!”

“Let me remind you how it was between us, and then we’ll talk. Come into my arms, darling.” He
paused,
however, as he saw the change in her face and realized that she was staring over his shoulder at someone else who had just arrived.

Were she not so upset, Lidian might have laughed at the way Chance spun around to see Eric De Gray standing there. Ineffectually Chance tried to dismiss him. “De Gray,” he said in a pleasant, man-to-man tone, “as you can see, you’ve stumbled onto a private scene. If you wouldn’t mind leaving—”

“Get out,” Eric said, his face as hard as a blade.

Chance’s mouth fell open in shock. “You don’t understand—”

“Out,” Eric repeated, staring at him without blinking.

Completely unnerved, Chance began another faltering protest and cast a bewildered glance at Lidian. She turned away from him, wiping her wet cheeks. She heard him leave, the click of the latch as the door was closed. She had never felt quite so defeated, so weary. Perhaps later she would be embarrassed to recall that Eric De Gray had witnessed the humiliating scene, but for now she was numb. With an unsteady sigh, she looked up at Eric. “Thank you,” she whispered. “If you don’t mind, I’d like to be alone for a few minutes.”

Strangely, he seemed angry with her. “You little fool,” he said roughly, ignoring her request. “You know he’s a worthless bastard. Why can’t you let go of him?”

Lidian stared at him through a screen of wet lashes. “Chance came to me at the time I was most vulnerable. He spun all sorts of beautiful dreams, and made me believe in them. And when he abandoned me, everything withered away, and I was left with much less than I had before. Now I don’t trust my own judgment.” She tried to set her trembling jaw and failed. “I don’t know what love is
anymore.…I
thought I did, and I was wrong. All I’m certain of is that I don’t want to be hurt again.”

“Everyone is hurt, sooner or later. You can’t be so damned fragile that you let one man destroy all your trust.” As Lidian turned away from him, Eric stopped her. He was close enough that his warm breath touched her temple, and she sensed his tremendous power held tightly in check. “You don’t know how much I want to seduce you,” he said, his tone quiet and fierce. “I could make you feel things you’ve never dreamed of.… I could make you forget everything except the pleasure you feel in my arms. But I’m not going to take advantage of you. That would make me no better than Spencer. You’ll have to come to me, Lidian, when you finally let go of your illusions and decide what you want.”

She jerked back in annoyance. “There’s no need to speak to me as if I were a child!”

“You are still a child, in many ways. But that doesn’t stop me from loving you.”

Her mind went blank, and her lips parted in wordless amazement.

Erie stared into her uncomprehending face. “I have from the moment we met. I love you for your beauty and intelligence, your stubbornness, the way you’ve taken care of your mother and the estate and shouldered responsibilities that any other girl would have walked away from. I love you for all those reasons—and for a thousand more I have yet to discover.” His mouth twisted in self-derision. “I’ll be damned if I stand by and watch you wring your hands over the likes of Spencer. He’s no good—and you know it better than anyone. It’s time to be honest with
yourself
, and with me.”

Confused and defensive, Lidian struggled to reply, but Eric reached out and touched her lips with his fingers. The gesture might have been tender, except that his face was dark with impatience. “I can’t stay here alone with you,” he muttered. “My self-restraint has its limits.”

“Wait,” she whispered, but he was already heading to the door.

All at once Dollie burst into the room. “Lidian, what has taken you so long? I’ve just come from the nursery, and—” She stopped suddenly at the unexpected sight of her brother. “Eric, why are you here? Have you decided to join us…
”
Her voice faded as her brother turned away abruptly and raked his hands through his hair. “Oh, dear,” Dollie murmured, apparently sensing the tension between them. “I do hope you haven’t been quarreling.”

Lidian forced herself to smile, although her face felt stiff with the effort. “I’d rather call it a ‘spirited discussion.’ Shall we continue to search for the emerald bracelet?”

“That won’t be necessary,” Dollie replied. “The treasure hunt is over.”

“Have they rung the silver bell yet?”

“No…but they will.” Triumphantly Dollie held up her wrist, which glittered richly. The emerald bracelet, far too ornate for a girl of Dollie’s age, was clasped around it. “I found it in the nursery, around the fourth little doll in the crib.” She paused and asked hopefully, “Do you think Mama will let me wear it?”

Eric glanced at the bracelet. “Perhaps when you’re twenty-five,” he said dryly.

“Let’s go downstairs and announce my victory,” Dollie exclaimed, taking Eric’s arm. “Come, Lidian!”

Lidian shook her head. “I’ll join you later. I would like a moment of privacy to settle my thoughts.”

Dollie began to argue, but Eric steered her from the room without a backward glance. “What is the matter…”
came
the faint sound of Dollie’s voice, fading as they left.

Lidian reached out and caught the edge of the door, shutting it carefully. She wandered aimlessly around the small room, her mind in
a turmoil
. Eric De Gray had said he loved her. She felt a touch of exhilaration, but it was quickly overwhelmed by fear.

She had been afraid ever since Chance had left her—afraid that he didn’t love her and that perhaps she wasn’t worthy of being loved. To risk her heart again and face the possibility of more pain and rejection…the thought made her feel as if she were poised on the edge of a cliff, ready to fall into the endless void below. For the first time she recognized that her professed love for Chance had really been an excuse all this time to protect herself against more heartbreak. But she couldn’t let that fear cripple her forever.

Lidian sat at a small sewing table and picked up an empty spool, rolling the cylinder of wood between her hands. When Eric had held her a few minutes ago, he had been a hairbreadth away from crushing her in his arms. The back of her neck prickled in excitement. She had wanted him to kiss her, to claim and possess her with the passion she remembered from before. The wood grew moist between her palms, and she exhaled slowly, realizing she had been holding her breath. It was natural that she should feel such an attraction to him. He was a disarmingly handsome man. But her feelings for him went far deeper than that.

She had seen how protective and loving he was with his family and how they all relied on him. He was not a man to take responsibility lightly, and he was fiercely devoted to the people he loved. She remembered the way he had rescued her the night she had gone to Craven’s, and how he had turned the dismal experience into a sparkling adventure.
I never make promises I can’t keep
, he had told her, and she knew in her heart that it was true. Lidian’s fists clenched around the spool as a feeling of urgency swept over her. She shouldn’t have let him go just now. She wanted to be with him, and tell him…tell him what?

She lifted a hand to her hair and smoothed it in a distracted gesture, tucking a stray lock behind her ear. All at once everything was clear, as if she had been staring at the rippled surface of a pond that had suddenly become still and smooth. She wanted to tell Eric the truth: that she dreamed about him at night, that lately thoughts of him had occupied her every waking moment. She wanted to know all his secrets and tell him hers in return. Her eyes widened, and the spool dropped from her hand. She
loved
him-and it made everything she had once felt for Chance
seem
as dim and fleeting as a shadow. How could she not have seen it before?

She stood up in a flurry, desperate to find Eric and make him understand how she felt. “Please, don’t let him have left already,” she whispered in a brief prayer, hurrying from the room.

The emerald bracelet was displayed for everyone to admire, and Dollie’s cleverness was praised until she had turned red with pleased embarrassment. Music from the orchestra in the ballroom began to fill the air, and the Blasedales proceeded with a sedate waltz, inviting their guests to join them. Having seen no sign of Lidian, Eric decided grimly that he may as well take his leave. He had no desire to put up a facade for the rest of the evening, while Lidian did her utmost to avoid him.

Eric sent a servant for his hat and overcoat, and another for his carriage. In short order he conveyed his good wishes to Lord and Lady Blasedale, telling them that he had another engagement to attend. They reacted with disappointment, trying to persuade him to stay, but he refused with a regretful smile. He went to the entrance hall, settled a dark hat on his head, and shrugged into his overcoat.

The cold wind struck him in the face as the butler opened the heavy front door. Eric stepped outside and thought he heard a soft voice behind him.

“My lord.”

He was amazed to discover that Lidian had followed him, dressed only in her silk gown. She bid the butler to close the door, and wrapped her arms around herself as she stared at Eric. Her dark eyes were brilliant in her pale face. She seemed troubled and breathless, as if it took all her will to hold back a flood of words.

“What is it?” he asked, moving toward her.

“I must talk with you right away.” She laid a hand on his arm, her fingers digging into his coat. “Please, take me with you.”

The idea was unthinkable. Her reputation would be in tatters before the night was through. She had to be desperate to make such a suggestion. “I’ll call on you tomorrow at De Gray House,” he said, trying to urge her back inside.

Lidian resisted, shaking her head and shivering as a gust of wind bit through her gown. “Our families will be there—they won’t let us talk alone.”

Eric considered his chances of finding another private place inside the Blasedale mansion and realized it would be almost impossible.

“Your carriage,” Lidian suggested while he removed his overcoat and placed it around her shoulders.

“No. If anyone sees you getting into a carriage with me—”

“I don’t care.” Her tone was quiet but stubborn.

He swore silently. The longer they stood out here debating, the greater their chance of being discovered. “Five minutes,” he finally said. “Then you’ll go back inside and join the others.”

She nodded, her teeth chattering, and he ushered her swiftly down the flight of steps and into the dark interior of his carriage. The footman’s expression was impassive as he closed the small door behind them. It was cold in the vehicle, but at least they were shielded from the outside breezes.

“Now,” he muttered, sitting opposite her, “what is so damned urgent that you’re willing to risk your reputation?”

“You were right about Chance,” she said softly. “He is a scoundrel, and I should never have put my trust in him. After I lost my father and then Chance, I felt as if every man I ever loved would slip away from me somehow. I didn’t want to lose anyone ever again, and so I tried to protect myself. But I have no choice now—I must take another risk or else lose you.” She paused, gathering her courage to tell him the truth. “The first time we met, I began to love you. I didn’t want to admit it…and I didn’t realize how deeply I cared until tonight.” Her eyes glittered, and her mouth trembled. “I love you,” she repeated. “You’re everything I’ve ever wanted.”

Eric longed to believe her, but pride and caution held him back. “You can’t be certain of that. At the moment you don’t know what’s real and what isn’t.”

She slid into the space next to him, one small, gloved hand curving around the hard edge of his jaw. She leaned close, her soft, seeking lips pressing against his. “Is this real?” she whispered.