Through Fire (Portland, ME #3) (35 page)

I sit down on the couch where she was just sitting and drop my head in my hands. Any time during the past months I could have told her, but each time I thought I should, I held back for fear of hurting her. I feel sick to my stomach now. She’s crying behind that door. I can hear her.

Suddenly I’m propelled off the couch in a surge of panic, remembering the last time I left her behind a locked bathroom door.

Charging through the hallway, I throw my shoulder into the door, splintering the frame as the lock breaks away.
Son of a bitch!
Ignoring the burning in my shoulder, my eyes immediately spot Ruby curled up on the floor, her arm covering her head, and the sight steals my breath. Slowly she lifts her arm, that I realize was thrown up to protect herself when I barreled through the door like a raving lunatic. She turns her tear-filled eyes to me and gives me a full dose of the pain and betrayal she feels in one look. It slices me open and leaves me bleeding. I slump down on the floor beside her legs and wince as my back hits the vanity, but my burning eyes never leave hers. 

I reach for her ankle, and she allows me to wrap my hand around it, sensing, more than feeling, her pulse underneath my fingers. I take a deep shaky breath in. “Only one woman has ever had the power to destroy me. To drag me through fire. Only one who can crush my heart as easily as she fills it.” My voice is raw with emotion and I don’t give a flying fuck. The pain in her eyes is like an acid burning through me. “Ruby,” I plead. “There was never anyone who could’ve caused more than a blister before you. Please let me explain.”

“How will you explain?” she rasps. “I trusted you with everything. In return, I find out that not only you, but at least Viv as well, have kept something pretty significant from me. I don’t see how there can be any explanation for that.”

My right shoulder is killing, throbbing right down to my finger tips, but I lean over and pull Ruby’s limp body on my lap with a wince anyway. “Let me try,” I beg, with my nose pressed in her hair. She just shrugs. Fine, I’ll take it as a yes. “Viv and I have been friends for quite a few years. One night, we’d been talking a bit. She’d been telling me some of the crap her ex had put her through. We had too much to drink and what was supposed to be comfort turned into something else. One night, Ruby. And as soon as it was over, Viv made it clear it was a mistake. That it was not worth losing our friendship over.”

I look down to see her studying my face. “Did you think it was a mistake?”

Fuck me
. I don’t want to answer, knowing it might make things more difficult, but I won’t lie. I band my arms a little tighter around her. “I do in hindsight, but maybe not so much at the time.” I clearly feel her body freeze up as she drops her eyes to the floor. “Look at me, baby. I need you to look at me, so I know you understand.” Slowly her eyes find mine again. “I know now, what I felt for her all along was a deep friendship. For a while, I liked to imagine that it could be something else, but the reality is, I never pursued it. Probably, because on some level, I knew all along it wasn’t the way I was supposed to feel for a woman I wanted to spend the rest of my life with.”

“How do you know?” I can barely hear her voice when she asks.

“I know, because that woman is sitting in my lap, and I’m holding on with all my might so she can’t leave me. The one I can’t see myself living without for even one more day. The beautiful soul, who has taken a lifetime of avoiding commitment and obliterated it with one blink of her stunning eyes, into an overwhelming need to tie her to me permanently.”

I could cry in relief when her hand comes up to stroke my face. “You love me,” she says, as a statement more than a question. I cover her hand with mine and turn my head to press my lips into her palm.

“So much, at times it’s painful,” I confess to her honestly. “I’m so sorry. I didn’t want you hurt, but in keeping quiet, I hurt you so much more.”

She covers my mouth with her fingers. “Hush. It’s done,” she whispers, tucking her head underneath my chin.

We sit like that for I don’t know how long, just slowly existing in the moment, when the sharp peal of Ruby’s phone rings again. I help her up and she runs to reach it in time.

“Hello?” I hear her a little out of breath as I slowly get to my feet, taking in the mess around me.

“Nina, honey—
Cómo estás
?” Ruby sounds relieved and frankly so am I, until I hear her yell, “They did
what
??”

R
uby

“We’ll get it sorted. You’ve got to calm down.” Pam leans in from the backseat, with her hand on my shoulder.

Tim is driving like the hounds of hell are at his heels. I try not to pay too much attention or I’ll be hyperventilating even more. I’m furious. The moment I heard Nina’s terrified little voice over the phone, my instant relief was quickly replaced with anger. I relayed what she was telling me to a very concerned and, eventually, equally angry Tim. He finally just took the phone from my hand.

“Nina, sweetheart?—Yes, it’s Tim. Is Mike there with you?—Okay, honey. We’re coming. You hang tight, okay?—Good girl, now can you put Mike on?”

What followed next was a tremendous amount of swearing and threats, all from Tim’s side. In the end, I guess Mike managed to calm him down, because when he put down my phone, he lowered his head and took in a deep breath. “Get dressed, baby. Mike’s keeping her with him, and I’m calling Pam.”

We’re on our way to Boston after we had to wait for Mark to bring the truck, dropping him back off at his, and swinging by to pick Pam up. I didn’t realize she had connections to the CPS, but Tim wasn’t surprised.

I’m still seething after finding out the stupid, idiotic caseworker had placed Nina in a good, Catholic foster home, with three older teenage boys.
Three!
The excuse she made to Mike was apparently that she felt the influence of good Christian boys might help her get over her unreasonable fear of the other sex.
Unreasonable!
I’m beside myself. “I hope I never meet that woman,” I say to Pam over my shoulder. “I hate violence, but her I’d gladly take apart, piece by piece.”

“I hear you, honey,” Pam soothes. “But I’ll warn you. I don’t do jails, so you’re on your own there. I hear they make you take off your underwire bra. Damn, woman, they’d have to pry those off my cold, dead, girls. No way in hell are they’re allowed out without proper protection.”

I snort as Tim bursts out laughing at Pam’s well-timed injection of humor.

The rest of the ride to the FBI offices, I try to get my blood pressure back under control, while Pam makes a few phone calls in the back. Pulling into a parking spot in the underground garage, I see Rhonda walking up to the car with a large Denzel Washington lookalike, smiling from ear to ear when Pam gets out of the car behind me. I’m surprised to see her throw her arms around the man, accepting his kiss on her cheek readily. The only time I’ve ever seen her hug a man was Ike at their baby announcement party. Then my attention is drawn to Rhonda, who seems to be shuffling her feet, looking distinctly uncomfortable.

“Hey, Rhonda,” I say, slipping down from my seat and walking up to her. “So glad to see you up and about. I was worried about you.” I try to ignore the surprised look on her face when I stick out my hand. She hesitantly grabs it. “I never had a chance to thank you,” I mention to her quietly.

“I...thank you,” she stutters a little, appearing a little flustered before she straightens her shoulders.

“Good to see you,” Tim says with a friendly nod, throwing a casual arm over my shoulders, before turning his eyes on the other couple, no longer embracing but involved in a very impassioned discussion. “Who’s that?” he asks Rhonda, tilting his head in their direction.

“CPS supervisor. He showed up twenty minutes ago. Mentioned he was waiting for someone? That must be her.”

“I want to see Nina,” I announce, only slightly impatient.

“Sure,” Rhonda says. “She’s been asking for you.”

-

I
’m not sure what I was expecting, but it wasn’t almost being tackled to the ground by the surprisingly long-limbed teenager, who I’d only seen in the hospital, when she was always lying down. Guess her little girl voice and pixie face made her seem so much shorter than she really is. Or maybe I was just projecting my own vertical challenge onto her. Tim manages to brace me from behind, so I don’t actually hit the floor. I’m grateful for his strength at my back, because right now, I just want to wrap this girl up and run.

“Tim?” She lifts her eyes over my shoulder and I step away, giving them some room. Should be interesting since they never even spoke, except for when Tim confiscated the phone from me this morning.

“Yes, sweetheart,” he says in his rumbly voice, which combined with the warm smile he directs at Nina is enough to melt me on the spot. She ignores his outstretched hand and puts her hands on his shoulders instead, giving his cheek a little kiss.

“
Gracias
...” she smiles shyly, “...for coming.”

When Pam and her acquaintance walk up with Mike, Nina sidles up to me, grabbing on to my arm.

“Why don’t we all sit down?” Mike suggests, ushering everyone into a large boardroom at the end of the hall. Nina sticks close to me, settling in to my right, and Tim claims the chair on my left. Everyone else seems to find a seat around the table except for Mike, who stays standing. “Nina, this gentleman here is Scott Paisley. He’s a supervisor with Child Protective Services.”

The stunning man’s introduction is met with a suspicious stare from Nina as she scoots a little closer to my side, but I have to bite my lip to stifle a giggle when I hear his name. Not quite what I expected for Denzel’s twin brother. I catch Pam’s eye, who raises her eyebrow at me, and I have to suppress another giggle. Instead of looking at anyone, I keep my eyes on the glass of water in front of me and continue listening to Mike.

“The lady next to him is Pam Brunard, she’s a friend of Ruby’s and a counselor. Now give me a minute to get everyone on the same page, and then we’ll sort this mess out,” Mike says with a nod and a smile at Nina, who seems to be listening closely. “Want to go first, Scott?” Mike nods in his direction.

“No need, you’re doing a good job,” he says in return, the broad smile never far from his face.

“Fine. Here’s where we stand. I called the caseworker’s supervisor, Scott, when I found they’d placed Nina in a house full of hormonal teenage boys. Not only that, Nina wasn’t allowed to use the phone. Her own was confiscated. Turns out, the family may have created some of their own theories about why a fourteen-year-old Mexican girl might be in need of foster parenting. Let’s just say they were worried about
bad influences
. Sad, isn’t it? Anyway,” Mike continues as he shakes his head. “I brought her here with all her things, she didn’t want to stay there any longer. I just don’t know where to go from here. I have no real authority here.”

“But I do,” Scott pipes up. “I was surprised, when not ten minutes after hanging up with Mike, Pam called me. Long story short. If agreed on by Nina,” he directs at the girl again, making sure she has veto. “I’ll contact my counterpart in Portland and recommend she be placed in Pam’s care in the short term.”

Nina turns her face toward me and pulls at my arm. “I want to stay with you,” she pleads, breaking my heart.

“I want that too,
cariño,
” I comfort her. “But I’m not an American citizen yet. Pam looked after me when I had no one else, and she helped me so much. I know she can help you too.”

“Is it far from you?”

“Not at all. I go there all the time. And you can come visit me too.”

I feel Tim’s hand slide up my spine and gently squeeze my neck. I’m almost losing the battle with my tears. This morning has been an emotional meat grinder.

T
im

That little girl about floored me.

I was still simmering when we arrived in Boston, but the brave little thing completely wiped any lingering anger out when she stood on her tiptoes and kissed my cheek.

From that moment, my mind had been going a mile a minute. I have an idea, but given what happened earlier between Ruby and me, we have some stuff to sort out before I can even contemplate the ideas floating around in my head.

It takes less than ten minutes to sort out an acceptable solution for everyone and another fifteen for Scott to clear things with the Portland office. With some serious thanks-yous for Mike for stepping in like he did, and to Rhonda for keeping the girl calm until we got here, we start our drive back to Portland only an hour after we pulled in. Except this time, we have Nina in the back quietly talking with Pam, who is sitting next to her. Ruby has another death grip on my hand, but her eyes are looking straight out the window in front of her. I don’t think anyone else can see the occasional tear run down her face as she listens to the conversation in the backseat. I give her hand a little squeeze back. “You okay, Boop?” I whisper, just loud enough for her to catch and watch as she turns her shimmering brown eyes to me.