Through the Dark (A Darkest Minds Collection) (A Darkest Minds Novel) (23 page)

I follow them down the hallway, at a slight loss as to what to do. After taking the last kid back, I was supposed to return here and assist the staff until the last meal rotations began. I want to keep an eye on Dunn, though, see if he shows any inclination on going back on his word.

Nurse Kore is blocking the doorway as I pass, but I can see well enough over her head that Dunn is throwing open cabinets and drawers. He fires off a series of questions. “What did you give her last? When did the symptoms begin? Shit—she’s wheezing—we need epinephrine. Where is it? Can you look next door?”

It’s only then, when Kore brushes past me to burst through the door of the next examination room, that I see the kid on the table.

Pieces of the room start to disappear. The wires. The bandages. The beeping machines. The IV drips. The adults. What I see is a pale face, tense with pain, dirty, limp blond hair fanned out around it. Something wet tracks down her cheeks, but I can’t tell if it’s sweat or tears.

No.
The word pierces through me like a flaming bullet.

It’s just too damn bad you weren’t there this time.

What the hell—what the
hell
is wrong with this world? The temperature under my skin rises like the desert sun. This girl apparently can’t suffer enough. There’s no limit to what she’ll be subjected to here. Sammy is good and
this
happens.
This
.

And what? We’re supposed to take comfort in the fact that one day she’ll be rewarded for her struggle? I can still hear her father preaching eternal life, how the meek will inherit. The singsong Sunday school lessons.
He’s got the whole world in His hands…

My feet carry me into the room as Dunn leans over her, adjusting an oxygen mask. I see the leg they’ve pulled over the thin blanket for the first time. It’s swollen to twice the size of the other and there’s a bubble of purple and black skin right around her ankle. My gag reflex makes me choke on the next breath.

People die from snakebites. How long was it before anyone found her? How long was she alone in the darkness?

I should have gone. I should have figured out a way. I shouldn’t have left.

What choice did I have? What choice do any of us have?

Kore jostles me as she comes in, holding out a syringe to Dunn. “Was it the antivenom we tried? The only other thing I gave her was morphine for the pain.”

I jerk out of my daze. “She’s allergic to morphine.”

They give her the shot. I’m not sure either of them heard me. So I repeat myself. I have to. They cannot give her morphine. The last time they tried was when she broke her arm and she was stuck in the hospital for an extra two days, she had such a bad reaction.

Dunn and Kore finally look up, turning first toward each other, then toward me.

“It’s the morphine,” I say again. I’ve already damned us both, haven’t I? But they have to know so they don’t make the mistake again. They have to help her.

“Lucas…”

My vision tunnels. For a second, I think I heard her voice in my head, but Nurse Kore is talking now, she’s telling Dunn, “She’s been saying the name all day. I’ve only been able to get a few other words out of her.”

“Samantha,” Dunn says. “Samantha, can you hear me? I need you to open your eyes. It’s Nurse Dunn. I need to check to make sure you’re all right.”

She’s not all right. Sammy is not all right. She’s never going to be, not ever again. I can’t—I can’t—

“…door is…Lucas…the door…dark…
Lucas
…”

My armor doesn’t crack. It shatters. It falls to ash. My vision blurs and fear wrings every bit of caution and worry out of my head. The last thing I see is Nurse Dunn turning toward me, saying something. Static pours into my ears. I press my hands over my face to try to hide it, but it’s too late. I’m crying.

I’m weeping like the kid who was pelted with rocks walking home every day from school by older kids. I’m weeping like the kid told he has to leave his best and only friend behind. I’m weeping like the kid who watched both parents bleed out in front of him, who watched the men in uniforms break his sister’s hand because she wouldn’t let go of his.

I sink against the wall until I feel the cold tile under me. I’m breathing so hard I can’t catch my breath. I understand now. I can’t help anyone. I can’t even help myself.

“What’s—?”

“Get the door,” Nurse Dunn says sharply. There’s movement at my left as the door clicks shut.

“You—” I can barely get the words out. “You have to sing to her. She’ll wake up if you sing, she loves music—she can’t—she can’t die like this—the silence—”

“Lucas. Do you know Samantha?” Dunn’s voice has a strained quality to it. I force myself to look up, eyes and throat aching. Dunn is kneeling in front of me now. Kore is pressed flat against the door, looking up at the ceiling, shaking her head.

“Sam,”
I say, correcting him. “Best friend.
Sammy.
”

The curse that follows blisters my ears. I breathe deep, trying to suck enough air into my chest to keep the crushing feeling out.

“How is he…?” Kore starts to ask, then actually looks at me. “You remember things? They said you all wouldn’t. They made us think—”

“It doesn’t matter,” Dunn says, cutting her off. “Her condition is very, very serious, but she’s alive. Do you remember what I was saying before, though, about how things work here?”

I nod.

“I don’t think it was a timber rattlesnake, otherwise she wouldn’t still be here…maybe a copperhead. The problem is, we have no stock of antivenom left, and the camp controllers won’t grant my request to leave camp premises to acquire more. They think it’s a security breach. But by the time it’s ordered and delivered through the military transport…”

“She’s going to die,” I finish.

“Lucas, listen to me. A lot of people aren’t treated with the antivenom and survive. We’re worried, though, because her symptoms haven’t gotten any better and there’s always the risk of infection. I just don’t have enough experience with snakebites to tell you anything with certainty.”

Sammy is a fighter,
I want to say, but who can fight this? Who survives this? “Her leg?”

“We cut away the necrotic…the dead tissue. There might be nerve damage—a limp. I can’t lie to you, she might not be able to walk normally again if she doesn’t get proper medical treatment.”

“She won’t be able to run.”

“No one can run here,” Kore says, pressing a hand to her forehead.

“From
him
.” I spit the words out. “Tildon.”

Kore and Dunn exchange looks that are easy enough to read.

“What did he do to the other girls?” I ask. “The other kids?”

“I’ve only heard rumors,” Dunn says slowly. “The doctor always treats them. I saw one of the boys once, though, and he…” He shakes his head. “Are you saying that Tildon has something to do with this?”

I somehow manage to tell them what happened yesterday without giving into the compulsion to run out, find the man, and watch him burn from the shoes up. I’m angry all over again; I don’t even care that my arm is spasming. It doesn’t matter that he didn’t put the snake in the building with her. She never should have been there in the first place.

I can’t stop seeing it. I can’t stop seeing Sam alone in that cage. I left her in the dark.

“Jesus…” Kore breathes out. She turns to the other nurse. “They won’t do anything about it until he escalates. That’s been the case for all of the others, right?”

“I asked one of the camp controllers after I saw the boy. They need physical evidence of abuse and improper behavior,” Dunn says, rubbing his face, “before they can transfer him to another cabin block. They don’t take preventative action. They only respond.”

“What about discharging him?” I demand. “How many strikes does this guy get?”

They seem unnerved by the heat coating the words. It takes Dunn a moment to say, “There are so few PSFs willing to re-up their service and stay. He’s one of them. With the camp closing and the kids being sent to other camps, they…I have a feeling they’re just going to let it fall between the cracks. They have bigger messes to clean up.”

“We have to…” Kore can’t seem to figure out what she wants to say, so she starts pacing instead, working out her thoughts that way. “We have to try talking to O’Ryan again. Make him understand how serious this is. I can’t let her die.
We
can’t let her die. Dammit, it’s a
snakebite
. It should be treatable. This shouldn’t be happening.”

“O’Ryan won’t do anything. It’s easier to explain away a dead kid than bring her to a hospital that can actually treat her. Too many questions. Too much attention.”

“Why do they have to wait for the military to bring in the medicine?” Desperation stains my voice, makes it sound different to my own ears. “Won’t it be faster coming from a civilian supply?”

“It’ll ‘compromise the camp’s secure location’ to bring someone in,” he says with no short supply of bitterness. “Even if we could get someone past the gate, they won’t have enough time to treat her before someone notices. The only way to help her is to take her out.”

“Stop!” This is clearly a conversation they’ve had before, because Kore knows exactly where it’s headed. “
Dammit
, Pat, stop!”

“Do you really want this on your conscience?” he asks, on his feet now. “We’ll walk out of here in a few weeks, but what about her? Say she pulls through fine—great, we’ve just saved Tildon’s latest victim. Do you really want this shadowing you your whole life? Lissa…we promised we’d do whatever it’d take to help these kids. I have a plan. I just need to adapt it to her.”

Oh my God.
I can’t stop looking between them. Seconds stretch into minutes, punctuated by the steady
beep beep beep
of one of the machines.

“You think I don’t know that?” Her voice cracks as it drops to a whisper. “You heard what they did to the woman they caught. She only helped and they did
that
. They called it treason. If you get caught, there’s no coming back from it.”

“I’ll do it,” I hear myself saying. “Whatever you were planning, I’ll do it.”

It has to be me. I will take care of Sam, and I will find Mia. I can’t do it from within the camp, and I can’t ask the only two people in this camp who seem to give a shit about the kids to leave.

“You’re upset,” Kore says. “You don’t know what you’re saying.”

“How would you do it?” I ask, refusing to be dismissed.

“The plan was originally meant for my brother and involved getting him out with the materials leaving the Factory. I just need to tweak it. We’ll take advantage of the move,” Dunn explains. “Get her into one of the crates we’ve been using to pack the machines. They’re moving a bunch out today, while the kids are in the Mess for the first dinner rotation. You’ll be in there with her. They’ll move both of you out without realizing it. I’ll find you a crowbar to get the top off. Do you think you can time two hours in your head? I’d wait that long before getting out. Off the truck. You’ll have to fight. There’s going to be an escort of PSFs with it.”

“I can take care of it,” I say. If they try to stop me, they won’t have a chance.

“This is crazy,” Kore hisses. “Listen to yourself!”

Crazy is only crazy until it works.

“I’m going to give you a cell phone that has one number programmed into it—my Uncle Jeff. He’s the one who helped me figure this out. I’ll give him a heads-up, so he knows to expect you. He’ll bring you back to Ohio with him. Aunt Carol is a doctor. She’ll be able to treat her. You’ll be safe there until she recovers.”

“How do you expect him to get out of the locked truck?” Kore demands.

“I can melt the latch,” I say, ignoring her startled look. That’s going to be one of the least complicated parts of this.

“It has to be soon—before your last two-hour shift here is up. You can’t be missing for more than fifteen minutes without someone realizing you’re gone. I’ll cover for you as long as I can.”

“Understood.”

“Lissa—” Dunn draws her into the corner of the room and lowers his head so I can’t hear what they’re saying. Kore looks like she has one toe over the edge of hysterics and needs just one nudge to fall into it. I’m not used to seeing adults look like that—like they have something to lose. Everything to lose.

I move toward the bed for the first time, keeping my eyes on Sam’s face. Someone cared enough to clean the grime and mud off it, but even clean, there are shadows. Her cheeks are sunken, and with her eyes shut, I can’t help thinking,
She looks like she’s already gone.
I run a knuckle along the curve of her nose, the way Dad used to do to Mom and, before I can question it, I lean over to kiss her cheek. A part of me feels like it’ll be the greatest act of rebellion I ever do. Because I let myself feel how soft her skin is, I imagine taking her face between my hands, and it feels like I’ve set off a firework inside of my chest. No wonder they turn us hollow. I’ve always thought the danger in experiencing these emotions lay solely in being caught, but living them makes
me
danger itself. There is nothing I will not do to get her out of here.

I kneel down near her head, tucking a loose strand of hair behind her ear, studying the familiar shape of it. It makes me think of all the summers in the tree fort, when the wet heat hung low from the sky and we didn’t have the energy to do anything other than just lay under the canopy. I can’t bring myself to sing. It hurts too damn bad. So I hum, low enough that I think it’ll be for her ears only.
You are my sunshine, my only sunshine…

Sam shifts suddenly, her head rolling toward mine. I have the vague sense that the nurses have stopped talking and they are staring, but it doesn’t really matter. I don’t have anything to be embarrassed or ashamed about. I keep humming.

“Lucas…?” Her voice is a faint rasp. It sounds like some part of her is still asleep, but I hear the tinge of annoyance. “Hate…that song.”

A faint laugh bubbles up inside of me as I reach down and take her hand. She gives a light squeeze back. “I know, Sammy. But how else was I supposed to get your attention?”

Someone gasps at the sound of her voice. When I look up, I see that Kore has pressed both hands to her mouth.