Throwing Heat: A Diamonds and Dugouts Novel (16 page)

He dropped a kiss on her bare thigh and stepped away, the sudden cold air making her miss the heat of him. “Now we’re even.”

Her brain fuzzy from the onslaught of hormones, Leslie frowned up at him and said, “What?”

“That’s four.”

And then he stalked away, leaving her sprawled across the bar top half-naked with rug burn on her inner thighs.

“H
OW COULD YOU
leave me like that?” Leslie demanded the minute she entered Peter’s house. To leave her on the bar feeling vulnerable like that.
Ugh!
How dare he do that to her? And
then
he’d had the gall to stand outside, looking all dark and sulky under the streetlight while he’d watched her climb inside her car and lock the door.

That was the second time he’d pulled a stunt like that. It was also the second time he’d left her hanging and she was so beyond pissed about it that she could scream. Really, really loud.

And she almost did when he didn’t respond right away. “Kowalskin!” He’d better be ready to grovel like a beggar. “I know you’re here.” His annoying yellow Suck-U-V was in the garage.

Nothing.

Not a peep came from anywhere inside the big house. Leslie flipped on a light and scanned the two-story entryway and sunken living room for signs of the jerk. She couldn’t believe he was hiding.

Was it possible he’d fallen asleep in the few minutes he’d had before she’d arrived behind him?

“No way,” she muttered under her breath. Not unless he was her Grandpa George. That man could fall asleep faster than she could blink. And he did it with his eyes open, which was just way creepy.

As each minute ticked by and she didn’t hear anything coming from upstairs, Leslie’s temper began to deflate.
Why does he do this to me?
She wondered.
He’s so frigging hot and cold.

It was absolutely infuriating.

If she was also a little mad because of just how quickly her convictions about rebuilding her career had imploded as soon as his hands were all over her, well, she was willing to blame that on him too.

Rational or not, Leslie really didn’t care. This was the second time he’d brought her to another world and then left her to come crashing back to earth alone, vulnerable and insecure. The two emotions she hated most. They left her exposed and weak and she just couldn’t deal with feeling that way. Especially over a man. So yes, she was willing to suspend fairness and hang it all on him.

“
Peter
!” Something almost like paranoia crept into her stomach and dispersed all through her, sending her nerves pinging. Because of him she had almost thrown her one chance at professional redemption away, and she was terrified. Terrified deep down because she knew what it meant.

It meant one of two things. Either she wasn’t nearly as committed to rebuilding her life as she thought she was, or she was willing to throw it all away over Peter because he had a hold on her. The first one she was pretty sure was wrong because every time she thought about giving in to temptation and sleeping with Peter—when she was clear-headed and not strung out on his pheromones—a wall of determination deflected the idea before it could so much as gain a toehold.

The second one was the one that was making her hyperventilate.

How could she possibly have feelings for a man who didn’t even really want her? Self-loathing cut into her. God, wouldn’t that be just like her though? To go and fall for a man who was wrong for her in every possible way? One who, when it came right down to the bottom line, just plain didn’t want her enough? It would be right in line with her history.

At least he couldn’t knock her up and then run off to join the military. That was a step up. Maybe there was hope for her after all.

She shook her head, cynicism boring through her like a termite on rotten wood, and snarled,
No, not really.

A shuffle and a thump sounded from up the stairs, turning her pent-up frustration from herself onto Peter. There he was. Now they were going to have it out, whether he wanted to or not. There were things she needed to say.

Leslie kicked off her heels and moved to the stairs, her focus solely on getting to the man causing her so much anguish. One of them landed down the stairs on the living room carpet by the gray chenille sectional. The other flew off somewhere down the hall toward the kitchen.

Taking the stairs two at a time, she hit the landing, marched directly down to his bedroom, and flung the door wide open without even knocking. “We’re going to get a few things straight right now, Kowalskin—” she started and then her vision was suddenly full of wet, naked Peter.

“Damn it, Leslie.” He scowled and reached for the towel he’d tossed on the bed, wrapped it around his waist. “Don’t you knock?”

No, obviously. Otherwise she wouldn’t have just caught an eyeful of the man’s penis. Her inner muscles squeezed with instant and alarmingly potent need. “You bailed on me,” she accused, ignoring the sensation. Vulnerability and insecurity rose inside her again and she crossed her arms protectively.

“Yeah, sorry about that, but I needed air.” The jerk tucked a corner of the towel in at his waist, securing privacy for his personal bits and tossed her a calculated smile. He was trying hard to act nonchalant, but his eyes were coldly distant and she knew that meant he wasn’t really nonchalant at all. Oh no, she knew him well enough by now to know that it actually meant deep down he was boiling.

Fine with her. She was pretty frigging steamed herself. “I want an explanation.”

“For what?” He gave that raised eyebrow look of his, and it just wasn’t fair at all that she responded to it even though she wanted to kick him in the shins.

Like he didn’t know what she was talking about. He was smart as a whip and knew full well what she wanted him to tell her. He just refused to share any tiny little personal feeling he might have. It might make him human like the rest of them if he did. Heaven forbid.

Water dripped from his jet-black hair and fell in droplets down the flat corrugated expanse of his stomach. A black happy trail disappeared beneath the fluffy white cotton and, as she’d just seen, ended in a patch of curly hair that surrounded a very impressive package. She wished it were teeny. Then she wouldn’t be so wound up over it.

Probably.

They stood across the room from each other, staring hard and not speaking. Finally Leslie braced her legs apart like she was preparing for battle and tipped her chin. “I need to know why, Peter.”

He raked his good hand through his dripping hair and his sculpted bicep flexed, displaying his yin-yang dragon to perfection. And she had a flashback of sinking her teeth into it when he’d wrapped that arm around her neck from behind and made her come so hard she’d forgotten her own name. Damn him.

“I needed space.” His profile was to her as he rummaged around in a drawer.

“That’s not what I’m talking about and you know it.” He was just being his normal stubborn self and it made her jaw clench.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“You do, too,” she said and rocked forward a bit onto the balls of her feet like a boxer preparing for an attack, fisting her hands at her side.

While she stood there he flicked a cold gaze toward her and then dropped his towel, going full nude once again in front of her. This time she kept her eyes up. Right where they wouldn’t get her into trouble.

“I’m afraid you’ll have to be more specific, princess. It’s been a real shitty day. I’m tired and my shoulder’s hurting like hell, so I’m not really in the mood to play mind games.” The muscles in his back flexed as he bent over to pull on a pair of boxers. As soon as she heard the band on them snap into place her gaze plummeted until she was staring at the front buttons on his blue plaid boxers. And as she stared those buttons started to move, his erection growing with every heartbeat her gaze was locked on it.

Shaking her head none too gently, Leslie forced her gaze back up and replied flatly, “I want an explanation for that night in Miami. It’s time you came clean with me about what happened. Because I don’t get it and I’m tired of wondering.”

Peter shrugged his broad shoulders and sat on the edge of the bed, the front slit of his boxers gaping a little. She pretended not to notice. “What’s there to get?”

Oh, like he didn’t know. Was he going to make her spell it out for him? Why? It was already humiliating enough.

“Why you got all heavy with me and then you dropped me dead like a hot potato.” She thought about it for a second and then added, getting worked up all over again, “And why in the
hell
you want another go at me when you clearly don’t even want to have sex with me!” At this point it wasn’t just a matter of pride, her self-confidence was at stake too.

“I
don’t
want to have sex with you? Is that what you think?” He gestured to his lap where his hard-on was obvious. “What’s this about, then? The breeze?”

Frustration and self-doubt mixed together, making her shaky, and she raked her hands through her hair, fisting them there. “I don’t know! You tell me, Peter. What
is
it about?” She dropped her hands and leveled him with a hard stare. “Do you, or don’t you want me?”

It was time for an honest answer from the king of bullshitters. Whatever the answer, no matter how much it hurt, Leslie needed the truth. The not knowing had eaten at her for far too long.

Peter let out a long-suffering sigh and stared her down, eyes guarded and sulky. Then something flickered in them and he broke eye contact. He seemed to deflate, the fight going out of him in one breath. “I want you,” he finally admitted begrudgingly, his voice hoarse and more than a little tired.

Tears stung the back of her eyes and a sudden lump in her throat made it hard to swallow. “Why?” she whispered raggedly. “Why then didn’t you want to have sex with me?” Her hands waffled helplessly. “Why didn’t you want
me
?”

He scrubbed both hands over his face, suddenly looking exhausted, and turned to her, his eyes bleak. “Because I choked, Leslie. I fucking choked, okay?”

“No.”

Peter frowned hotly. “What do you mean, ‘no’?”

Leslie crossed her arms again, scowled right back. “I mean that I don’t accept your explanation. Not anymore.”

He cocked his head to the side. “And why exactly is that?”

The anger she’d held at bay for three years over his rejection came flooding out. “Because it’s all horseshit, Peter!” Her heart began pounding furiously. “You saying that you choked is a complete cop-out.”

His black brows slashed dangerously low over his eyes. “It’s not a cop-out.”

She uncrossed her arms and planted her hands on her hips, her gaze locked on him. “Oh,
really
? Then just what the hell do you call it then?”

He gave her a level look. “The truth.”

God he was frustrating! “Stop doing that.”

“Doing what?”

He knew damn good and well what. “Stop evading! I deserve your honesty, Peter. Yeah, okay, you choked. Whatever.” She waved a hand before pointing her index finger at her chest. “
I
want to know why, and I’m not leaving your bedroom until you tell me.”

Abruptly he stood up and paced across the room. Once he reached the door to his bathroom he spun on her, his eyes filled with anguish, and shouted, “Because you acted like I meant something!”

Leslie reeled back. “Excuse me?”

Peter raked his hands through his hair. “You told me I was amazing.”

“Yeah, so?” She’d said the same thing to him at the bar an hour ago.

Wait.

“Is that why you left me at the club tonight?” She was trying hard to understand. What was wrong with someone thinking he was wonderful?

“Yeah.”

She huffed, confused. “But why?”

Something indefinable flashed in his eyes, but it looked a whole lot like pain and it made her heart squeeze. “Because I’m a lot of things, princess, but amazing isn’t one of them. It would be in your best interest to accept that.”

Chapter Fifteen

D
AYS PASSED BY
in a blur while Leslie prepared for the Halloween party, dealt with the police about Seth, and generally did her best to avoid Peter. Her apartment still wasn’t ready, so she was spending a lot of quality time in her office making nice with her purple couch. It was better than being at Peter’s place.

Now, stepping out into Peter’s garage with her hands full, she thought about how they’d barely spoken since the night she’d made him come clean about Miami. Neither of them was in any particular hurry to broach the topic again, and she wasn’t willing to risk something physical happening, so they steered clear of each other. It helped a lot that Peter was away with the team while they won the League Championships and moved on to the World Series.

Everyone was super stoked. And she could feel the excitement, shared it even. It would be absolutely wonderful if the Rush took the Fall Classic. They were doing great so it was a real possibility.

Peter’s arm was recovering well and with a little luck he might even be able to play in the World Series before it was over after all. Which she thought was great and wanted to tell him, but after the way they’d parted company, she wasn’t really sure what to say.

Everything she’d thought about that night in Miami was bogus. Peter hadn’t lost interest. Knowing that had all kinds of complicated emotions coursing through her.

It changed everything.

For the past three years she’d felt so much self-doubt around the pitcher. Her confidence had suffered, her belief in her sexual appeal had been bruised and battered. That night had so much more of an impact on how she felt about herself than she wanted to admit.

And now that she knew the truth, she felt free.

Irritated that one man’s confession meant so damn much, but still free. Lighter, like a weight had been lifted from her shoulders. Sure there was that whole having-to-deal-with-him-now thing, but she’d get around to it when she was good and ready.

Right now her favorite holiday was just around the corner, and that meant she was only days away from reclaiming her life. There was no way she was going to cave and sleep with Peter with the end of the bet so close. No way, no how. She already had a spreadsheet on her computer full of contacts and ideas on how to promote the crap out of the Rush’s all-star pitcher playing at Hotbox. She could see exactly how to promote it, the angle to use and the people to utilize.