Throwing Sparks (41 page)

There was no longer a place for me on this earth.

Ibrahim pulled me along, hurrying into the mosque, and placed me in the first row of worshippers behind him in the
mihrab
– the niche in the wall of a mosque that indicates the direction of the Kaaba. All I wanted to do was run but could no more have done so than scoop up my spilt guts off the floor.

The congregation rose in unison to begin the opening prayer. In the throes of collapse, I looked around desperately for some way out. Ibrahim was already intoning the very first couplet of the prayer cycle – the
takbeer
– signalling to the faithful to adjust themselves and straighten out the prayer lines.

He looked straight at me and smiled. A block of bodies jostled me into position as I continued looking for an escape route. Aghyad, who had ignored the first
takbeer,
was following my turmoil. He flashed me a smile and there, before my very eyes, rose the vision of the bewitchingly beautiful Maram, her nakedness concealed.

Aghyad and I looked into one another’s faces as the faithful began their chanting of devotions. Ibrahim intoned the opening chapter of the Qur’an and the mosque echoed with the booming ‘Amen’ in response. A momentary silence followed as he searched for the Qur’anic verse with which to comfort me and then his voice rose in the air as sweet and melodious as a tinkling waterfall:

‘Oh my servants who have transgressed against themselves, do not despair of God’s mercy. God forgives all sins: He is all-forgiving, compassionate to each.’

This was the exact moment I had hit rock bottom.

As the rubble settled, I looked at all the dust billowing up from within me filling the prayer hall. Smashed into a million shards, my spirit gave up the ghost. I disappeared behind a veil of tears, and with the breach not yet healed, I sobbed as Ibrahim’s voice finally vanquished the demons playing havoc with my soul.

The tranquil atmosphere of the prayer hall was broken by my wailing sobs and even some of the worshippers were rattled.

A solitary tear trickled down Aghyad’s cheek as the boy looked on, bewildered.

Ibrahim commanded the
rukuu’
, the bowing posture during prayer, but I could not even bend from the waist; when he voiced the
takbeer
signalling the ritual prostration
,
the sea of worshippers went down as one while I remained erect in the open expanse of the prayer hall.

Aghyad’s eyes were glued to me and in them I beheld Maram, like a melting pillar of salt. Tranquillity enveloped the prostrated worshippers.

I was running. My shackles and chains dragging, I wanted to catch up with the procession of people fleeing their destiny, gathered in a wide open arena to meet our fate. Some were proceeding on their way, others lingered: Tahani, Mustafa Qannas, Issa, Mawdie, Joseph Essam, Aunt Khayriyyah, Maram. Behind me was a long line of people – pointlessly hurrying on.

My decision to kill the Master had fully ripened. I had been carrying around images of his dead body in my mind for a long time, summoning up visions of murder while lying in bed, killing him a different way before falling asleep every night.

But how vast the ocean that separates imagination from reality. I closed my eyes.

A Note on the Author

Born in Saudi Arabia in 1962, Abdo Khal studied political science and began his career as a preacher before becoming a primary school teacher. He turned to writing as a way of attacking the corruption of the wealthy in the Arab world.
Throwing Sparks
won the International Prize for Arabic Fiction and is his first novel to be published in English.

English edition first published in 2014 by

Bloomsbury Qatar Foundation Publishing

Qatar Foundation

Villa 3, Education City

PO Box 5825

Doha, Qatar

www.bqfp.com.qa

This electronic edition published in 2014 by Bloomsbury Publishing Plc

Copyright © Abdo Khal, 2009

Translation © Maïa Tabet and Michael K. Scott, 2014

First published in Arabic in 2009

as
Tarmi bi Sharar
, Al-Jamal Publications, Baghdad/Beirut

Qur’anic verses from
The Qur’an:

A New Translation
, Tarif Khalidi, Viking Penguin, 2008

The moral right of the author has been asserted.

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eISBN 9789992194287

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