Thrown (8 page)

How’s it going with the hunky mechanic? Have you been handling the stick?’

I want to tell her to stop being crude but if I did, Stoker would wonder what we were talking about.

‘Yes, it went well.’

‘Ooh, that good, huh? When are you seeing him again?’

‘You have the spare key to get into the house if you’re back before me,’ I say calmly, ‘so I’ll see you later. We’re on our way back.’

A long sad meow comes from the back seat.

‘The cat doesn’t sound too happy,’ Dell says.

‘Would you be happy if you were stuck in a plastic carrier?’

‘I guess not. But I’d be happy if I was stuck in a car with Dean Stoker.’

‘See you soon, Dell.’

‘Cool. Ooh, we have fish for dinner. Will Stoker be joining us?’

‘No.’

‘Okies. See you in a bit.’

I hang up and shake my head at Dell’s persistence.

‘Everything good?’ Stoker asks.

‘Yes. Everything’s good.’

*

Stoker

I like her. I really like her. There’s something about her that makes me want to know more, to learn all I can about what she likes and doesn’t like and what her life in America was like and what she thinks to living here. There’s also a sadness around her. It sits on her shoulders like a dark cloak and in those times when she spaces out, I know she’s thinking of the things that make her sad. I want to hold her tight and tell her it’s all going to be alright but I don’t even know what’s wrong.

Just like I don’t know her very well, she doesn’t know me either…not the real me. She probably just sees the oily mechanic and nothing else. I can’t blame her for that, I’ve hardly been forthcoming about myself. I even told her I don’t think much, which isn’t true.

I went too far in the Meow Meow when I said I her ‘if’ was something I could work on. What was I thinking? That’s the sort of thing a jackass says. Thank God the receptionist came back just in time.

Sometimes Amy seems like a frightened rabbit and I feel that if I move too fast she’s going to bolt and I’ll never see her again.

I don’t want that.

I want to see her again soon but I’m not even sure she would have called me if she hadn’t been stuck for a way to get to Penzance. Before we get back to Promise House, I’ll ask her out. There are loads of things to do around the cove and she probably doesn’t know half of them.

If she wants to wait until her friend Dell goes back to America, that’s fine. I’m sure they want to spend this week together. I can wait to see her but I can’t wait to ask her. Then we’ll have a definite date to get together.

I’ll have more time to plan it out then, make sure she enjoys herself.

We’re about three minutes from Promise House. I have to do it now.

If Dell is waiting on the drive when we get to the house, I won’t be able to ask.

Now.

It’s got to be now.

‘Amy.’

She looks over at me. She was daydreaming again, probably about the riddle of the cat. I have no idea why Beth would put Mr Tibbles in a cattery in Penzance but I’m sure there’s a rational explanation behind it.

‘I was wondering if you’d like me to show you around Promise Cove sometime.’ There. Said it. It’s out.

She frowns. ‘I know my way around Promise Cove. I’ve been here a few times.’

‘Really? Do you know the sea caves on the cliff face? The hidden beaches along the coastal path? There’s a new coffee shop in town, you know. I bet that wasn’t here the last time you came.’ Doesn’t she realize I’m asking her out? I wasn’t clear enough. I’ve blown it. And now we’re at her house. Shit.

I park on the drive and get ready to make myself clearer when the front door opens and Dell comes out of the house. I sigh. Not to worry there’s plenty of time. I’ve got Amy’s number on my phone from when she rang me. Don’t panic, just play it cool.

Amy grabs the cat carrier and I get out of the car. ‘You want me to put it in the garage for you?’

’No, it’s OK. It’s a nice evening so I think it’ll survive out here until morning. Sorry…
she’ll
survive.’ She flashes me a smile that makes me feel a tightness in the pit of my stomach. I have got get to know this girl better.

‘Thanks for the driving lesson and everything,’ she adds.

‘No problem. If you need me again, you’ve got my number.’

Dell comes over. ‘Yes she has and she will use it, don’t you worry.’

‘OK, well I guess I should get back to work.’ I told Dad I was taking a late lunch hour because I was busy working on Mrs Frank’s Fiesta and I didn’t want to stop for lunch until I’d replaced her brake cable. I don’t know if he believed me or not. He doesn’t trust me anymore.

I climb into the Land Rover and wave to the girls. They’re both standing on the drive waiting to wave me off with Mr Tibbles’ carrier on the ground between them.

I roll down my window. ‘You might as well let him out. He has a cat flap in the back door so he can come and go as he pleases anyway and he spends a lot of time outdoors. There’s no way he’s going to get lost anywhere within ten miles of this place.’

Amy nods and opens the little plastic gate on the carrier. Mr Tibbles shoots out like a black rocket and scampers around the back of the house.

‘I think he likes his freedom,’ I say. ‘See you later.’

I drive onto the road and take a left into town and the girls are still waving to me as I disappear from their sight behind the roadside hedge.

*

Dad is leaning under the bonnet of a Ford Focus in the garage car park when I get back. He looks over at me as I get out of the Land Rover then goes back to studying the Focus’ engine. Just walk past him into the garage. Don’t say anything. Just go inside and do the oil change on the Nova in there.

I walk past the Focus and almost make it inside the garage.

‘Where have you been?’

‘Late lunch. I told you.’ I get my gloves from the workbench and put them on.

‘Yeah, but where?’

‘I took a drive. Didn’t feel like eating.’

‘Drive to where?’

‘Does it matter?’

He comes out from beneath the bonnet and stands square on to me.

Standing there in the sun with his arms by his sides with a wrench gripped in his left hand he looks like an old gunfighter from a Western movie. Last of a dying breed.

‘It matters,’ he says.

Do I lie to him? I could lie to him but I don’t want to and I don’t see why I should have to. After all, I’m twenty years old and I can do as I damn well please. But if I tell him the truth it will hurt him. He’ll drink even heavier tonight and we’ll descend down into that hellish spiral again.

‘I was out with a friend.’

‘And this “friend” wouldn’t happen to be Beth Anderson’s niece would it?’

‘I can see who I want, Dad.’

He comes two steps closer. ‘Is she filling your head with the same stupid ideas her aunt was feeding you?’

I don’t even answer that.

He shakes his head as if he’s disgusted with me. ‘Get in there and change the oil on that Nova. And don’t get ideas above your station.

James was too good for this place but don’t start thinking you are. James could have made something of his life, could have been someone. But you…you’re no one.’ He returns to the Focus and shoves his head back under the bonnet.

I get into the pit beneath the Nova and put an oil pan on the floor before using a torque wrench to take off the bleed screw. I watch as dark brown oil pours from the car and pools in the drip pan like old blood.

CHAPTER SIX

Gone

Amy

I wake up fast, not knowing what I was dreaming about but knowing that I don’t want to go back to sleep. I check my phone. Seven a.m. I groan and rest my head back on the pillow even though I don’t close my eyes. I suddenly remember what day it is and feel a wave of depression threaten to drown me.

Today is the day Dell flies back to America.

I feel like crying but I have to put on a brave face for Dell. She already hates leaving me here and I don’t want to make it any harder for her. She’s been amazing the past six days, helping to get the bookshop back in business and doing most of the cooking around the house. Not to mention keeping me sane with her banter and making me laugh as she rates every male customer we get in the shop. And her constant ribbing about Stoker doesn’t even bother me.

I haven’t seen him for three days and the last time I saw him was in town. He looked like he was in a hurry, striding purposefully down Main Street, so I didn’t catch his attention. I’ve been driving to town and back in the Volvo every day because Dell refuses to walk and now I’m pretty skilled with the gears but a part of me still wants to see more of Stoker.

I’m going to make Dell breakfast today. We have eggs, bacon, sausages and toast and I intend to make her a going away feast before the taxi comes to collect her at eleven thirty. Even though today is Friday and probably a good day for business, the bookshop is going to stay closed and I’m going to spend the last few hours with Dell doing whatever she wants to do, which means we’ll probably just stay in the house and watch TV. Which is fine by me but before Dell gets up, there’s something I need to do…something I’ve been meaning to do since I got a handle on how to drive the Volvo.

I leave my room and creep past Dell’s door, even though a stampede of buffalo in the hallway wouldn’t wake her. Her alarm is set for nine and until them she will be dead to the world.

I go down to the hallway and put my sneakers on and grab my brown leather jacket from the closet under the stairs. Then I go out through the kitchen to the back door. There’s no sign of Mr Tibbles so I assume he’s outside even though he usually spends the mornings in the kitchen meowing until he gets fed. I go out back and hug myself against the morning breeze. It looks like it will be a hot day but there is still some of the night chill in the air.

The sea pounds the the cliffs and the rhythmic sound of tons of water crashing against immoveable rock is somehow comforting. No wonder Aunt B loved it here.

But if she loved it so much here, why would she end it?

I’ve been thinking about this for days and the only explanation I can come up with is that she either took her own life or knew her life was in danger. The second theory sounds ridiculous, like something out of one of her detective novels. If she thought someone was going to kill her, she would have gone to the police.

So that can only mean suicide.

Mom and Aunt Beth.

Leaving just me.

Alone.

I shake that thought because it leads down some paths in my mind I don’t want to journey along. Instead, I do what I came out here to do and pick some of the flowers in the garden beneath the kitchen window. When I have enough for two bouquets, I head back into the kitchen and lay then out on the table, selecting colors that look good together and arranging everything until I’m satisfied enough to tie them together with string and tie a white ribbon around each bouquet.

Then I go out front and lay them carefully on the back seat of the Volvo and drive out to the Sea Road Cemetery.

*

When I get to the cemetery, I have the biggest shock of the morning.

Stoker’s Land Rover is parked by the gate. It’s definitely the one he gave me a ride in the other day; dark blue with STOKER AUTOS painted on the sides and the winch on the rear. What is he doing here? And at this time of the morning? ‘Well obviously the same as you,’ I tell myself.

‘This is the only cemetery in town and I’m sure he knows people who have died.’

Wait a minute. What if he is here for
exactly
the same reason as me?

What if he’s visiting Aunt B’s grave?

That would be just too weird.

Maybe I should come back later. No, there is no later…Dell leaves today and I have to cook breakfast and spend time with her.

I check myself in the rearview and groan. I didn’t put on any makeup and my hair is a mess. I didn’t think there would be anyone here so early.

And I certainly didn’t expect to meet Stoker. I don’t have a choice. I want to put these flowers on the graves for Mom and Aunt B and if that means Stoker seeing my ‘early morning’ look then so be it. I’m sure he’ll get over it.

I drive in through the gates and up the driveway that leads to the small parking lot, looking for Stoker among the rows of gravestones. I don’t see anyone at all but the cemetery is planted with threes here and there so he could be out of my line of sight. I can see Aunt B’s and Mom’s graves from where I park the car and Stoker isn’t there so maybe he’s visiting someone else.

Taking the flowers, I lock the car and walk along the same pathway I walked a year ago when Mom was buried here and again last week when Aunt B was buried next to her. They had such short lives, hardly any time on the earth at all, and now they’re going to be here at the Sea Road Cemetery…at the end of this little stone path…forever. At least they’re together.

A noise behind me makes me turn around and there is Stoker in a black leather jacket and blue jeans walking toward the parking lot, head down with his hands in his pockets. He’s so upset he walks right past my car without even seeing it. I don’t call him. He looks like he wants to be left alone. Curious, I walk back along the path to the point where I think Stoker must have walked onto it from the rows of graves. I step onto the grass and behind a little stand of birch trees, I see the graves he was visiting. Two gravestones next to each other, each with a fresh bouquet of flowers placed in front of it.

Claire Stoker, beloved wife and mother. Always in our thoughts.

James Stoker, son of Claire and Max and brother of Dean. A life cut
short. Gone but never forgotten.

The dates on the stones put their deaths on the same day fifteen months ago. James was only twenty one.

His mother and brother. There must have been some sort of accident.

Maybe Stoker and I do have something in common; we’ve both lost people we love.

And we both bring flowers to their graves.

I step back onto the path and walk to where my loved ones are buried.

There are lots of flowers around Aunt B’s headstone from the funeral and from her friends in Promise Cove. I add mine and place the other bouquet on Mom’s grave. I sit on the grass between them and feel a sudden overwhelming need to cry. I don’t hold it back. I let it come and and soon the tears are stinging my face and I can’t catch my breath because I’m crying so hard.