Thursday Nights (The Charistown Series) (28 page)

Owen used what looked like sheer will to keep himself standing and stared at Max. “You feel better now? I deserved that. I think I’ve been waiting for it for years.”

Gage grabbed onto Max’s arm to ensure his friend would stay his next punch, and Janie just stood there stunned. She looked at Owen’s face and watched a trickle of blood seep out of the angry cut on his mouth. Words flooded her brain. Her mind refused to put the pieces together.

Lyla saw her confusion and stroked her hand, the way she always did when Janie was upset and words wouldn’t help.
So, it was true.

Janie turned to look at Max. “You were married?” she croaked.

Hurt and shame were etched on the features of Max’s beautiful face as he nodded. But Janie refused to see those things—all she could see was the man who’d kept himself closed off and hidden. The man who refused her, left her, and turned her away.

Janie faced Owen and placed her palm on his bruised face. “You’re bleeding. We need to go and take care of you.” She reached over the partition and grabbed a napkin from their table, gently dabbing the open wound. Her heart was pounding as the levity of the situation began to process in her mind.

Trying to keep a steady hand as she tended to Owen, she spoke loud enough for her watchful audience to hear. “Owen, we’ve discussed this. You’ve beaten yourself up over the past for too long. It’s time to let it go. Let’s move on.” She let Owen to hold the napkin himself and turned to approach Max. His face was a canvas finally painted with emotions.
Funny
, she thought,
I would have welcomed any one of those before today
. But now, now she was pissed.

Max watched as she took two purposeful strides towards him. He could see the hurt and anger blazing from her once tranquil eyes.

“You, Max DeLucca, are the son of a bitch.” She could feel her heart thumping as if it were going to pound out of her chest, and her skin felt one size too small. “You didn’t want me until you knew I was with someone else. You didn’t ‘love’ me until you saw me sitting at a table with him!” she said, pointing her thumb back to Owen. “Now, you come beating your chest and declaring your love for me? How dare you.” Her eyes pooled with tears she refused to shed. “I gave you love, I gave you me. I gave you everything, and you took it. What did you give me back?
Nothing
,” she screamed, not caring that spying eyes were everywhere. She pulled her fists down by her sides in hopes of keeping their trembling from being visible.

“I’ve known you for months. I considered you a close friend.” The
more
was silently implied. “And never, never once did you mention being married. I’ve known Owen a couple of weeks, and I know more about this Chloe from him than I ever knew about you.” She stopped to catch her breath. She could feel sweat, and maybe even blood, in her palms from the force of her nails digging into the skin. “I kept thinking I understood. I kept thinking I would be okay with whatever you gave me, but you know what, Max?”

Janie didn’t wait for answer before continuing. “The truth is you never trusted me with your past, your pain, or your heart.” She laughed coldly at something. “Oh right, you told me you don’t have a heart to give. Well, you got your point across. I believe you now.”

She looked around at her friends who were watching her come undone and said, “I’m not sure what you all knew before coming here today”—she looked pointedly at Lyla—“I can only assume you knew nothing.” Lyla nodded her answer. “I love each of you, I’m sure you tried your best to shield me from this…mess, but you, Max, you can get the hell out of my life. I am too Goddamn good for this shit.” She turned and walked back toward Owen and linked her arm in his. “Come on, let’s go get this checked out.”

“Janie,” Max pleaded.

She paused midstep and looked back as her first tear fell. “Go to hell, Max” was all she said as she took long strides down the street to Owen’s car.

Max felt his heart breaking. It was a feeling that he had never felt before. Not even after Chloe left him. Not even when she died. This was a pain that was unbearable, and he was the one who caused it. He wanted to follow Janie, wanted to make her understand that he loved her. He was choosing her, and he was willing to tell her everything. He was finally ready. But she chose someone else. He finally pushed her away hard enough to make her stop wanting him. How the hell was he going to get through this?

Standing there alone, silently, fists tight and mouth open on the sidewalk in the middle of Charistown was not how he pictured this night ending. He was on sensory overload from everything that went down in the last twenty minutes. That’s probably why he startled when a big hand landed on his shoulder.

“Gage,” Max swallowed the large lump in his throat. “What the fuck?”

“Let her go for now, Max. Let’s get out of this fishbowl and head to the pub across the street.” When Max tried to argue, Gage shot him a look that asked for Max’s faith in him, so he followed.

The pub was dimly lit and smelled like stale beer. The walls were lined with dart boards and holes associated with bad aim. It was late on a Monday so the crowd was thin, pared down to just the regulars and the staff. The two men walked stiffly to the back of the pub and sat at a table. With their asses barely hitting the seats, a waitress appeared. She was a twenty-something over-bubbly little thing with a name tag that read
Roni
. Judging by the wide eyes and huge dimpled smile, Roni was very happy about her new table.

She tried to do some flirting and walked away looking defeated when she got nothing more than a drink order for four shots of whiskey and a pitcher of beer.

The duo sat in an uncomfortable silence until the first round came. As the glasses hit the table, Gage nodded his head, gesturing for Max to take the shot. When the amber liquid hit the back of his throat the burn came as a comfort more than a sting.

Before the second shot, Gage began to speak. “So, here’s the deal, DeLucca. I’ve got a shitload to say, and it appears you’ve got nowhere to be.”

“Gage, I don’t have time for this…whatever the fuck
this
is. I need to go find Janie and get her back,” Max blurted.

“Max, you stubborn ass, there is no ‘you and Janie.’ You never truly
had
her in the first place. You could have, but you screwed that up, my friend. You haven’t gotten through your past…you haven’t even been living in the present…so how the hell are you planning to get to your future?”

Gage’s matter-of-fact tone had Max seeing red. Like a spring, he shot up and slammed his fist on the table. “After all of your touchy-feely lectures about letting myself love her, I finally do…and now you want me sit back and let her be with Owen fucking Michaels?”

Gage slowly stood and looked Max straight in the eyes. “You and I both know this isn’t about Owen Michaels. She could have been with any other man. This is about you, Max, you! Now, sit down,” he growled, “and listen to what I have to say. Because if you don’t, I promise you, this time I
will
walk away from you and never look back. Do you hear me? I am asking you as your brother and your best friend…this time, trust me.”

At Gage’s words, Max felt all of the anger seep out of his body. He heard what Gage was saying—and what he wasn’t. When the choice came last time, Max chose Chloe, and he had chosen wrong. He would not make the same mistake again. Max slowly sat down on his chair and slid his fingers around the small glass in front of him.

After allowing the second shot to glide down his throat he quietly said, “Okay, Sebastian. I trust you.”

Max watched as Gage allowed himself his first shot, quickly followed by the second. His friend had amazing self-control, so seeing him scrub his hands over his face made Max’s insides twist with concern.
What could he possibly be gearing up to tell me?
Max thought to himself.

“Max, I’m gonna say some stuff to you that I’ve been holding onto for years. And I hope—no, I pray—that on my judgment day these things can be overlooked due to the truth behind the words.”

Max could see the honest torment that was at war inside his friend.

“The day Chloe died, I was relieved. She was in the ground and you weren’t. I don’t know what kind of person that makes me, but it’s true. I hated that bitch.” Gage’s jaw clenched on the word
bitch
. “She and my mother were cut from the same cloth, and I didn’t want that for you. You were my best friend…my brother. And you know Owen wasn’t the only one—there were so many others in high school and after.”

With his mouth feeling like a desert, Max reached over and grabbed the pitcher, pouring himself and Gage each a pint of beer. He gulped down the cold liquid while trying to keep his focus on Gage’s words and not allowing himself to travel back into the past.

“She was like a slow poison, dripping gradually into your system. She dismantled your life piece by piece, starting with your family, moving on to your friends, and ending with every shred of confidence and self-worth you possessed.” Gage ran his fingers through his midnight hair, and Max could tell he was trying to tread lightly. “Owen was your friend, but he was eighteen, man. Come on. Yes, it was a dick move to sleep with your girl. He made a mistake, but she made horrible, selfish life choices the entire time you were together. She was taking you down, and you let her. We had dreams, Max. Do you even remember them? We were supposed to take over the Gage Garage and the Winston Track, and you let go of everything for her. You let her abuse you until there was nothing left of you but a shell, and that was before she even died.”

For the first time in his life, Max felt every minute of his thirty-seven years. He closed his eyes and let out a huge sigh. Prying open his eyelids, his voice sounded defeated when he spoke. “Gage…I loved her. I thought I was making her happy. I wasn’t enough for her. And I promised myself long ago that I would never make that mistake again. Come on man, you saw Janie tonight, she seemed fine. Maybe I should just let her go…”

“Are you fucking kidding me?” Gage’s raised voice brought a wide-eyed stare from the waitress, who was not so discreetly trying to eavesdrop from the bar. “So, let me get this straight. You’ll fight till the death for Chloe, who took until there was nothing left of you to give. But you’ll let a woman who has asked for nothing but your love and your trust just walk away?” He took a long pull from his beer before unfolding himself from the booth and glaring down at Max. “Wow, I was wrong. I guess we did bury you both that day. The drinks are on you…I’ve got nothing left to say.”

Max watched as Gage walked through the bar and out into the night.

He wasn’t sure how much longer he sat there, but by the time he left there were two empty pitchers and four shot glasses cluttering his table. Gage’s words looped in his mind as the past twenty years crashed into him like waves breaking on the shore before a storm. They had been a team, he and Gage, and they had planned to take on the world. He smiled at the memory that seemed like multiple lifetimes ago. His friend was right: Max had once been so strong and so determined. But where Gage had it wrong was that Chloe couldn’t have taken what Max didn’t allow. He kept going back to her because he thought she was the love of this life. Now, in that moment, all those years later, he felt the proverbial light bulb flash on. After being with Janie and feeling how natural their relationship felt, how comfortable they were around each other, he realized that it was his fear of failure that kept him going back to Chloe, not some great love. He let his great love walk away from him...again.

“No more,” he said out loud, tossing enough cash on the table to cover the check and a very nice tip for Roni.
I’m done running away, and if she wants someone else, fine, but she at least needs to know how I really feel about her
.

He could feel the alcohol sloshing in his stomach on the cab ride back to his house. He made it to his bathroom just in time to be reacquainted with the whisky and beer and then got into his bed.
I’ve hurt a lot of people
, he thought as his eyes began to close.
Tomorrow is gonna be a long day.