Tied To You (6 page)

Part of it was just because New York was part of my blood, having been born here and grown up here. Other than being sent away for the last two years of high school to a boarding school, followed by the Swiss university less than one hundred miles from my boarding school, I hadn’t really been outside of the city aside from an occasional vacation.

Wayne, of course, had sent me away less than two weeks after my mother had died, so perhaps that was part of why I had grieved and ached so hard to come back to New York. Otherwise, I had no family left here, so it hadn’t been that. Maybe it had just been being torn away from her and everything I had known within two weeks of losing my mother that had left me longing for the city of my birth.

Whatever the reason, I was determined to stick it out here in New York, and Mykael had only been a small part of that decision. Even when I had learned I was pregnant, and it had seemed like a good idea to stick around in case I could find him, it hadn’t have been my primary reason for staying. At that point, I hadn’t been very optimistic about ever seeing him again, since I’d had no idea how to contact him. “Thank you. I do appreciate it.”

He sighed heavily, but then gave me a big smile as he stretched forward and took my feet from the coffee table, settling them on his lap as he started to rub the arches. “You’re going to make me work for everything, aren’t you, Gabriella?”

I moaned in place of answering, not wanting to confirm his supposition. I didn’t plan to be difficult deliberately, but from what little I knew of Mykael, I’d have to stand my ground and keep my boundaries firm. He was clearly the alpha take-charge type, and I refused to be the simpering doormat that bowed down to his every wish.

***

We had been dating for four weeks now, and I was feeling much better than I had in the beginning. I was able to eat three meals a day now, and I rarely had to throw up, though I still had crippling bouts of nausea upon occasion. I was starting to show a little bit, and I had invested in a maternity wardrobe just last week.

I had used some of the money Mykael had given me in the heretofore-untouched bank account, deciding it was justified as an expense for the child. I couldn’t risk losing my job because I was popping out of my shirts in an obscene fashion. I had noticed more than one person signing in and looking at my burgeoning chest with either lust or disgust over the few days before I finally gave in, so I had spent last weekend choosing a new wardrobe to ensure no one complained to my bosses.

Tonight, I wore one of my new maternity dresses. It was a soft angora sweater dress paired with knee-high black leather boots I’d already owned. It was a cool night for the end of September, and I didn’t think the outfit would be too warm for a cruise in Mykael’s yacht around the harbor. He’d said it was just a little boat, but I didn’t think he meant a ten-foot dinghy. If his standards were anything like Wayne’s, it was probably a hundred-and-forty-foot megayacht. Either way, we would almost certainly be above deck and exposed to cold winds from the bay as we cruised around.

My stomach grumbled with hunger, and I was happy to see the return of my appetite. The pregnancy was going smoothly, and I was feeling pretty good. My black hair was thicker than ever, with a lustrous sheen. So far, I hadn’t gotten a million zits everywhere, though I fully expected it to happen at some point.

My breasts were a full cup-size larger now, and since I had maternity clothes and properly fitting bras that adequately supported them, I was much happier with the changes than I had been before last week. I found my tummy adorable, though I was just barely starting to show to strangers. I could see a definite difference and had been able to for a few weeks.

And I was horny as hell. I was in the second trimester, and the pregnancy books I had read hadn’t been exaggerating the sudden need for sex all the time. It was ridiculous how much time I spent with my vibrator, wishing it was Mykael. He had made no move to touch me though.

At first, I had thought it was because I was so miserable, and I hadn’t honestly cared too much either way. Sex had been the last thing on my mind, and the idea of having it would have been an unwelcome suggestion even from Mykael, to whom I was still frantically attracted.

As the weeks had passed, and we had gotten closer, I had expected him to initiate some sort of physical contact. I had tried a couple of times—just simple things like taking his hand as we walked—but it didn’t take long for him to stop touching me and move away.

I was completely puzzled and at a loss. We were supposed to be dating to see if we could make a permanent relationship last, but I didn’t see how that could be possible when he couldn’t stand to touch me. I didn’t know if it was my changing shape or something else.

I had sworn that night we spent together that he was attracted to me in spite of his plan to use me, but now I was questioning that. Maybe he had never really wanted to have sex with me. Perhaps I had pressured him into it, and he’d felt guilty for what he had planned to do, so he had gone along with it. I would have vowed that wasn’t the case the night it happened, but now, seventeen weeks later, it was all a bit blurry and viewed through the distortion of the hormones raging through me.

I was starting to get desperate for relief and angry he wouldn’t touch me. This was supposed to be a relaxing dinner, but I was afraid it would turn into a wild row instead. I couldn’t keep dancing on tenterhooks around him, wanting something he didn’t want to give. If he had no interest in me physically, that was his right, but it was definitely the final nail in the coffin in the idea of us getting married. I wasn’t going to have some weird convenient marriage where we didn’t sleep together. I’d meant it when I told him I wasn’t marrying someone I didn’t love.

With the exception of the sex, I had a feeling it would be all too easy to love Mykael. He was sweet and kind, even when he was been an overbearing ass out of concern. It seemed like we had fought about everything, from where I lived to me walking back and forth to work.

I had won the argument about moving to a different place, because I didn’t want to end up somewhere I couldn’t afford on my own. I had tried to soften my rejection and not let him know it had anything to do with doubts about being able to trust him to come through for us. Now, I probably would have agreed if he suggested it again, because I was starting to trust his intentions to be around.

Unfortunately, he’d made the offer just three days after we had reconnected and started dating, and his offer had consisted of him telling me he was going to buy me an apartment closer to his building. It had rubbed me wrong, I’ll admit, and I had thrown back the gesture with anger. I still think I had made the right decision, but I might have reevaluated it if he suggested it again since time had passed, and I felt more comfortable relying on him.

He had won on the car issue. I had refused a car, because it was just silly. I lived too close to the subway station to drive, and owning a car in New York City was a nightmare. Instead, we had compromised, and he hired a car service for me. Some mornings and evenings I took the subway, but if I was feeling at all tired, or if there was bad weather, I called the car service to ferry me back and forth.

He was easy to get along with in that regard, once I got through his stubborn alpha exterior and made him listen to reason. That could be a chore, but I was learning how to approach him, and he was starting to dial back the caveman crap. Right now, the main thing convincing me the relationship wouldn’t work was the lack of sex. I needed it, and he didn’t seem to want to give it to me. I didn’t exactly want to have it with someone else, but I was tired of being alone with only my vibrator for company.

Things had to work out this evening, either for the good or the bad. I hoped we would take the next step in our relationship, but it was better to end things now than to get more involved with him only to find out he didn’t see me as anything more than a friend—or even worse, a burden.

He arrived promptly at seven, which didn’t surprise me. He was always on time and well mannered. His mother had done a fabulous job raising him.

Thinking about the woman made me squirm. That was another issue I had been tap-dancing around myself. I had avoided meeting his family like he’d avoided putting his cock in me. That was a crude thought, but I still shivered with delight at the idea of him doing so.

The delight fled, temporarily zapping my raging libido when I pictured meeting his mother and sister. He’d told me his father had died several years ago, so it was just the three of them now, and he still lived in the same building as his mother, though in a different apartment. From what I had guessed, it seemed as though Annika moved back and forth between the two depending on what kind of comfort she needed that day. It sounded like when she was having a rough day, she stayed in Mykael’s apartment, but otherwise technically lived with Nila.

He had suggested twice now that I meet his family, and I’d found ways to delay. I knew I couldn’t put it off forever, but to say I was uncertain of my reception would have been putting it mildly. I’d seen Nila sweep through the lobby on several occasions, but she never deigned to speak to me or the other receptionist. She never even looked at us.

She was a beautiful and graceful woman, but she seemed kind of cold. Maybe I was just imagining things, and I hoped that was the case. Mykael said she was busy, and I believed it, seeing the number of clients that rotated through the office on a regular basis for all the attorneys, so perhaps she wasn’t deliberately shunning the lowly front desk staff.

It wasn’t even his mother that scared me as much as Annika herself. From what I had pieced together, she was fairly withdrawn and didn’t venture outside with the exception of going back and forth to her brother or her mother’s apartments. She sounded lonely and broken, and I was afraid I would burst into tears the moment I saw her and apologize for the horrible things my stepfather had done to her.

I didn’t want to mention that until I got to know her a little better, but I didn’t want to avoid the topic either. She was bound to hate me when she found out I was Wayne’s stepdaughter, even though we were estranged. I couldn’t blame her if she did, and part of me was concerned that if she insisted on Mykael choosing, he would naturally choose his sister over me.

That led to a greater fear, which was if he chose to end things with me, he might decide he wanted to take our baby. I didn’t think I would lose custody, but I might have to share half-time custody. With our money disparity, it’s possible I might even have the weekend visits, and he’d have the weekdays. The thought broke my heart, and I cupped my stomach to pat the mound gently.

I couldn’t let that happen if there was some way to avoid it, but I couldn’t see entering a loveless marriage, or being the object of his family’s hate just to make sure we had the appearance of a family that was cohesive. I’d had enough fake family and real loathing in my lifetime to voluntarily accept such a farce as an adult when I had a choice.

“You look beautiful.” He bent down to give me a kiss on the cheek, but that was it. He didn’t even take my arm as we stepped out of the apartment, and I walked beside him in silence, my thoughts heavy.

A car service waited for us, the driver holding the door open to take us to the marina. I thought it was silly to go on an evening cruise, but I hadn’t shared that with him. At least my nausea had stayed away today, and I hadn’t had even a hint of it since this morning. There’d been the briefest roll of my stomach when I woke, but a couple of saltines had curbed that, and I’d been able to eat a full breakfast, including a cappuccino from the coffee shop downstairs on my way to work.

Mykael would have disapproved of the caffeine, so I had sneaked it behind his back. It was ridiculous to feel the need to do so, but he was like the nutrition Nazi when it came to pregnancy, while I was a little more laidback. My midwife had said an occasional coffee wasn’t going to hurt us, but he still harped on it if he caught me with something I couldn’t have, according to the “expert” he’d consulted.

His boat was somewhere between a dinghy and megayacht. I wasn’t very knowledgeable about sailing vessels, but I guesstimated this was probably around a forty-footer. It was far more modest than I had expected, but if he had purchased it with his own money and wasn’t relying on the Watts’ family wealth, it made sense he would go for something more frugal.
As if owning your own yacht was frugal
, I thought with an audible snort.

The wind was brisk, but the sea air was surprisingly delightful, and as we sat on deck eating food prepared by a personal chef hired for the evening, I revised my opinion of the idea of coming all the way out here just to cruise around for a couple of hours. “This is lovely, Mykael.”

He smiled at me, his white teeth a gleaming contrast to his dark skin in the warm illumination provided by the deck lights. “It is, isn’t it? The view is outstanding.”

I didn’t think I was imagining that his eyes remained centered on me, but I couldn’t afford to indulge the impulse to surrender to the desire the idea stirred in me. It wouldn’t take much to get me worked up, and if I got turned on again just to get shut down, I might end up doing something embarrassing, like throwing a hissy fit.

“This is very peaceful.” It was an asinine comment, but it was also true. Out here on the water, with a few other boats visible in the harbor but none too close, it seemed almost like it was just the two of us. The chef was below deck, so we were enjoying a moonlit dinner on the ocean alone. It was beautifully romantic, and I would have embraced the setup joyfully if I was certain it would culminate with the two of us entwined in a sweaty heap on the bed that had to be below deck somewhere.

“How are you feeling today?”

I toyed with my water glass as I debated how honest to be. I had a feeling if I blurted out I’d been horny as hell, he’d either jump me or run away. Instead, I settled for saying, “I’ve been doing well. I haven’t had any nausea or anything today, and my appetite seems to be stabilizing. I can actually eat food now throughout the day, and I don’t have to shovel it in or barely pick at it.”

He looked relieved. “I’m glad to hear it. Since you’re feeling better now, I thought you might be up to attending a garden party this weekend.”

I formed fists with my hands to hide the rush of panic. “What’s a garden party?” Despite having grown up in a wealthy household, and being subjected to a few of the Chastain parties, I hadn’t really enjoyed an active social life. Partly, that had been my choice, because I hadn’t had any interest in that scene, but also because Wayne had maneuvered it so I was almost always left out. My mother had never seemed to notice, or perhaps she just hadn’t wanted to see, but I had accepted early on that Wayne didn’t want me to be seen as part of their family, and I had started to duck away on my own initiative.

“It’s an afternoon gathering held outdoors. One of the judges in the area is hosting the party, so I thought we might attend.”

It was a business-related venture. I relaxed and nodded. “I’d be happy to go with you.”

“Are you ready for dessert?”

Summoning my courage, I leaned forward and slowly ran my tongue over my lower lip. “It depends on what you’re offering for dessert?”