Tied Up in Knots (14 page)

He nodded.

She leaned into him, against his chest. “That’s the last I’ll see them, just you watch.”

“No,” he said because it was expected.

She held up her hand with the diamond engagement ring and matching band. “If she comes for this ring he gave me—just ’cause it’s been in their family for however long—I tell you what, she can kiss my ass.”

He squeezed her tight, and after she gave him a gentle pat, she left us to visit the next group of people.

“Doyle.”

It was his former CO, the same man who’d made sure we came to the house, Major Delaney, and he gestured for Ian to follow him outside.

I moved to go with them, but Delaney shook his head.

“Then no one else goes out there with you guys either,” I insisted.

“And why’s that?” He dared me to speak, clipping the words.

“His safety would be in question,” I retorted.

“Is that right? What precisely do you think I’m going to do to him?”

“I dunno, could be anything,” I shot back. “But at least I know you can’t leave him anywhere again.”

Ian lifted his hand to quiet me as Delaney, fuming, threw open the door as well as the screen and pounded down the steps that led to the yard. Ian shot me a look—which I gave him right back—and then went after him, closing the door behind him.

“Don’t worry about your boyfriend,” Odell called over to me from where he was on the couch. “The major won’t touch his faggoty ass.”

“We saw you two duck out of sight at the cemetery,” Bates said, adding his two cents. “That’s disgusting, and if I’d known Doyle was like that, I wouldn’t’ve ever gone back for him.”

“Is that right?”

“Yeah, that’s right,” Bates jeered, standing up. “Better dead than gay.”

I lunged toward them but Becker caught me, holding tight as Ryan walked over to the men seated on the huge sectional.

“Ya best quit runnin’ your mouths there, boys, or I’ll take you in for threatening the life of a federal officer.”

Bates scoffed up at Ryan, who was looming over him. “Go to—”

“We can hold you for seventy-two hours just for the threat alone.”

“I’m a soldier, you prick.”

“Me too,” Ryan assured him. “But we’re not talking about soldiering. We’re talking about right here, right now. And right now… you keep jawin’, and you’re going downtown.”

All eyes were on him.

“So,” he said with a sigh, the epitome of boredom. “What’s it gonna be?”

None of them said a word. Apparently federal marshals trumped Rangers when said Rangers were not on active duty. They all got up to leave, and they gave Ryan a wide berth.

Becker let me go with a straightening of my coat and a pat on the back, and I went to the window to look out at Ian and his old CO.

“Excuse me.”

Turning, I found Danita Stanley in front of me. Up close she was flawless, perfect, like a 1940s Hollywood starlet standing luminous in a spotlight. I got why Ian had done it, why he’d reached for her. If girls did it for me, I would have too. “Yes?”

She cleared her throat. “Did I hear Odell say…” She trailed off because it hadn’t been a nice word the asshole had used and she must not have wanted to repeat it. “Is Ian gay?”

“Ian’s bi,” I corrected, giving her a look. “Obviously.”

“No, we— He must’ve told you about us because you’re his… his… you’re with him.”

“I am.”

“So you know that we didn’t.…”

“Didn’t what?”

She exhaled sharply. “When we, that time, it was—”

“Actually I really don’t need to know any of this. It’s none of my business.”

She was quiet, thinking. “Yes, you’re right. It’s not, except that you should know that Ian was the only one who
saw
me.”

I waited for her to say more, but she couldn’t, as evidenced by her reddening eyes and trembling chin. I took her hand and I saw her relax, sort of cave in, before she gave me a trace of a smile.

“My husband,” she began. “He was into being a soldier, and he left me alone even when he was home, and Ian…. Well, he saw me.”

I nodded.

“He would talk to me and flirt, of course, but they all did with all of us—all the wives. It’s fun and friendly and sweet in a way, so that we all know we’re loved by the group, a family, and it was great. But I was so lonely. And when Jace came home, he still wanted to be with those guys, going out, raising hell, drinking. Most of them have families, so they couldn’t, but a few of them did, and then he had friends who weren’t those guys, too, and… then there was Ian.”

She’d been waiting a while to tell this story, I could tell.

“How was I supposed to turn down attention from that man?”

I understood. Ian’s attention, once given, was something one developed a taste for. Just his eyes on you was enough to illicit surrender.

“I’ve never been kissed like that in my life.”

I smiled at her because, yes, I agreed. Ian had a wicked mouth, and he knew how to use it.

“But when it was time to….” She looked uncomfortable.

“Pull the trigger?” I offered.

“Yes,” she breathed. “When it came time to do the thing… he couldn’t.”

I caught her wandering gaze and held it. “Couldn’t, or wouldn’t?”

“Wouldn’t,” she amended. “He said he didn’t want to compromise me, and he couldn’t do it to Jace and still look him in the eye.”

“But?” I heard the “but” in her voice.

The tears came fast. “I was mad, right? I wanted to be compromised. I wanted to be Ian Doyle’s conquest.”

“So you lied,” I concluded, releasing her hand.

“I lied.”

“And your husband told his buddies and everything that happened, happened, and then Ian came back and left, and today’s the first time you’ve seen him.”

Quick nod of her head.

“Does anybody else know?”

“I told Jace when the divorce became final two years ago.”

“How did he take that?”

“Not well,” she said quickly, so I was guessing that was an understatement. “We’re no longer speaking.”

“And where is Jason now?” I asked formally, using what I assumed was the long form of his name.

“He moved to Florida.”

“Not a soldier anymore?”

“Oh no,” she said hotly, and I could hear the lingering anger. “He got out and married some teacher he met there. They’ve got a couple of kids already.”

“And you?”

“I have a type,” she replied, her voice crackly. “But most men my age who serve are married or have someone.”

“Sure.”

“And everyone talks a good game about cheating, but once it’s there, on the table, you’d be surprised how many men chicken out.”

Or were just good guys who were caught up in the moment but came to their senses before it was too late.

She crossed her arms. “I saw Ian and I didn’t see a ring.”

“Right.”

“He looks better now than he did six years ago.”

There was no doubt Ian would get better looking with age. He’d have people propositioning him right and left when he was seventy.

“I thought I’d been given a gift, a second shot at what I’d missed out on the first time around.”

“Makes sense.”

“But now he’s gay.”

I wasn’t about to correct her a second time.

“Or bi,” she added. “Right?”

“He was always bi.”

“What about latent homosexuality and all that?”

“I dunno,” I answered, because having been gay all my life; I had no idea how anything else worked and honestly never cared to learn. Since Ian liked both women and men, and now liked me best of all—that was really the extent of my interest in any discussion of his sexuality.

“But he’s bi, you said, so that means he likes women too.”

Was she asking me or telling me?

She tipped her head, studying my face. “That doesn’t scare you? That it’s not just one or the other, but both?”

I didn’t need to let her in on my thoughts, on the fears that sometimes still plagued me because, just as I’d thought the night before, even though Ian was equally attracted to both genders, I was the one who had his heart.

“That would scare me to death.”

I would have answered her, but Ian was striding in from the middle of the backyard where he’d been talking to Delaney, and was now closing in on the door. Slipping around her, I was there when he reached it and opened it for him.

“So?” I asked him.

“I need to go to the office before we hit Portillo’s,” he said, grabbing my bicep and yanking me after him.

“Wait,” I argued, pulling free so he had to turn and face me.

“What?”

“Is there actually someone out there that you think is trying to kill you and whoever else?”

“Not me, but Delaney’s spooked, because of the six of us who went out with Lochlyn the night he freaked out, Laird and Regan have both died in hit-and-run accidents over the past five months.”

“Okay, but who’s this Lochlyn guy?”

“I’ll explain at the office, I swear.”

“Then let’s go now.”

He smirked at me. “You saw that I was trying to get us out of here, right?”

I glared at him and he opened his mouth to defend himself.

“Ian,” Danita called out to him.

He turned from me and waited as she moved around in front of him.

“Before you go, could I get your number? I’d love to get a drink and catch up.”

His squint would have made me smile, but I bit the inside of my cheek so I wouldn’t. “What for? We don’t have anything to catch up on.”

“I would—” Her breath hitched like she was nervous. “—love to see you.”

It took him a second to get that she was hitting on him. Normally he was quicker, but he had a ton of stuff on his mind. “Oh, I can’t do that,” he informed her. “I’m basically engaged.”

“You are?” she asked, her gaze flicking to me and then back to him.

“Yeah. I asked, it was a yes. We’ve just gotta pick a time to get it done.”

“You’re getting married?” She was flabbergasted, if her tone and how wide her eyes got were any indication.

“Yeah,” he said, looking from her back to me. “Stay here while I go say bye to Rose and her mom.”

“’Course.”

He left quickly and I was alone with Danita.

“Is he marrying you?” she asked cautiously.

Normally I would have remained silent, but I was too proud of calling Ian mine. “At some point, yeah.”

I watched her absorb the news, saw her brow furrow, lips press tightly together, eyes going vacant in that empty expression people had when they were completely lost in thought and aware of nothing else. In moments she was back, her gaze laser focused on me.

She cleared her throat. “I’m sorry. I’m just surprised yeah?”

I nodded.

“I didn’t know he was—and Ian’s not—I mean, I’ve always had a stereotype in my head about what gay men look like and act like,” she confessed, clearly flustered, going by the flush of pink on her cheeks and her fluttering hands as she spoke.

“Sure.”

She gestured at me. “You don’t look gay.”

I shrugged. “Gay isn’t just one kind of person.”

“No, I know,” she said, sounding almost irritated, but I was guessing more with herself than with the situation. “I—but you know what I mean—what I’m trying to say.”

I coughed softly. “I think we’re back to those stereotypes you were talking about.”

“Yes,” she agreed, inhaling fast. “Yes.”

Some people wouldn’t have taken the moment, wouldn’t have done any self-examination at all, so it was sad, really, that I wouldn’t get to know her better because of the choice she’d made with Ian that inadvertently nearly cost him his life.

“He loves you?”

“Yes.”

“He likes being with you, then,” she said, and it was more rhetorical than anything else. “So that could be why… I mean, maybe that’s why he didn’t want me. Maybe that’s why he never did anything but kiss me.”

She must not have realized a lot of people were clustered closer than she thought—the living room was only so big—or she’d never have let loose with that confession. As soon as the words were out and she saw me lift my eyebrows—even before I glanced right and then left—in that exact second, she got it, what she’d said, and she lifted her hand to her mouth, covering it, as though that could possibly help.

Odell gasped from behind me. “Wait. What?”

I turned to look at him, and him at me. I saw new anguish there, along with betrayal and so much anger.

“He fuckin’ should’ve said.”

But Ian felt like the thought itself was enough to be punished for. He’d planned on seducing his brother’s wife, and the guilt over that, to him, was the same as carrying out the act. I knew him, knew how his mind worked, and that was the reason for his silence and the acceptance of the judgment passed.

At the same time, though, when he got back, he was purged of the sin and left their company without a backward glance. That too was Ian. Once you were square, he was vapor, and there was no more talking after that. Had Eddie Laird not died, he would have never seen these men again. They were all still carrying him with them, still burdened with their guilt. But to Ian the debt was settled, and he never gave any of them a second thought. As I took in the faces of the men around me, all looking shell-shocked and pained, knowing what they were party to—especially Delaney, who sank into the closest chair to him—I had a moment of peace. I loved closure, and I was thinking Eddie Laird did too.

“Let’s go,” Ian called from the front door, refocusing my attention on him and off the stunned crowd around me before he slipped out.

The four other marshals and I went and hugged and kissed Rose and Janice before we left and were standing outside together on the front porch moments later. Ian was there, taking deep breaths, smiling.

“You all right?” I asked, joining him a few steps away from the others.

“Yeah.”

“Feeling vindicated?”

He shook his head. “No. I did a shitty thing, but I paid for it.”

I moved closer to him. “We’re gonna need to talk about everything.”

His grunt was more of a groan.

“I know how much you love that, but I need to know.”

“Fine. I’ll talk, then you.”

“Me?”

He motioned with his finger to include all of my face. “Cochran.”