'Til Death Do Us Part (27 page)

BOOK: 'Til Death Do Us Part
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I

ll keep that in mind. I

m going to lie back do
wn,

Nicole told the crowd.


I

ll check
on you in a little while, honey,

Tracy told her.


Is she going to start waddling soon?

Travis asked.


I heard that
,
baby brother.

Nicole shouted.


Alright
,
let

s get back to work.
What ever
Mike has going on
,
I

m sure it

s important
and we should be ready for him,

Ron said before dismissing the group.

 

CHAPTER F
O
URTEEN

M
ike Journal Entry 5

 


Oh
, man, pass me a joint,

I told John as I sat up.

I don

t know which hurts more, my body from sleeping on the ground or my head from the acid and beer.


You should have slept on a cot,

John said
,
looking down at me from his Army-Navy surplus green canvas cot.


I didn

t know I had the option,

I told him. I didn

t know how long I had slept
,
but it was long enough that I was no longer tripping and that was fine by me.


You should have asked,

h
e said as he swung his legs over and reached into a little bag to produce a pre-spun joint.


John
,
how would I know to ask? Should I just randomly throw questions out there and see which ones stick?

John

s eyebrows were knitted together as he thought on my words.


Okay…
for instance, do you have a helicopter?

I asked him.


Of course.


Wait, what? Are you kidding me?


Why would I do that? Kid
,
I mean. I have a Safari two-seater kit helicopter.


Okay I

m going to try and hit the pertinent points all in one shot. First
,
does it work?


Yup.


Second, can you fly it?


Yup.


Wait…real quick…
so you don

t have a license to drive your van
,
but you have whatever license it takes to fly a helicopter?


A lot more people on t
he roadways than in the air,

h
e answered.


Got me there. On to the bonus round where the right answers are worth double.


E
xcellent I love the bonus round,

John said excitedly.

So how many points are we talking about?


The sky

s the limit!

I said
,
going along with his madness.

He paused for a moment.

I get it! Because it flies!


That

ll work, hey
,
John the Tripper
,
can I shorten your name up to Trip?


Is this still the bonus round?


Added bonus maybe.

John

s lip started to quiver a bit.


You alright
,
man?

I asked him.


That

s what my wife calls me. I miss her
,
man.


I

m sorry
.
I didn

t me
a
n to bring up any bad feelings.


Naw
,
it

s cool,

h
e told me.

You can call me Trip, it helps me to remember.


She

s not really in
Washington
is she
,
Trip?


No.

He bur
ied
his face in his hands.

It

s worse.


We

ve all lost people we love
, Trip. T
here

s no shame in showing it,

I said
,
standing so that I could rub his shoulder.


She

s in
Philly
,

h
e sobbed.


Trip
,
what the hell are you talking about?


My wife, she

s
not in
Washington
she

s in
Philly.

His wails started anew.


I

m confused
, man,

I told him.


The City of Brotherly L
ove, how can you not know about it?


I know about Philly,
and
I

m not sure why that
’s
such bad news
. I
t

s actually good because she

s that much closer.


She is?
I figured Philly was another country, you know

PA

for Panama.


It

s more like

PA

for Pennsylvania.

I hastily drew a rough representation of the United States and the states in question. John

s face was beginning to register the new information. I desperately wanted to get home
,
but his wife was not
entirely
out of the way and I would feel better if he had company. I shuddered thinking of him stopping to ask some

funkies

for directions.


Want to go get her?


More than anything, followed closely by seeing Jerry Garcia.

I didn

t tell him that our odds were better of seeing Jerry than his wife.

Let

s do it then, back to the helicopter.


Bonus round,

h
e sniffed.


Bonus round,

I echoed.

Can we get to it
,
or is it in Philly
or D.C.
,
too?

I asked
,
trying for some levity.


Asheville Regional Airport, it

s about
twenty-five
miles from here.


So not Philly then, that

s good.


What

d I win?

h
e asked expectantly.


An all expenses paid trip to Rocky

s hometown.


The squirrel?


What? No not Rocky and Bullwinkle. Rocky the boxer.

John was slowly shaking his head from side to side.


Sylvester Stallone, famous series of movies.


Never heard of them.


How about the home of the Cheesesteak?


Who puts cheese on a steak?


You

re killing me. The City of Brotherly
love
,
man, we

re going to go get your wife.


Wow
,
that

s awesome! What a great prize to win!

h
e said
,
clapping his hands.

I had to admit, it was nice to not be the craziest person in a group
,
but I wasn

t really sure what footing that le
ft
us on…
if any.

We

re going to need another car. Any chance you got one waiting somewhere?


No
,
and it

s not much fun going out the other side.


So that hole does lead out then?

I asked, pointing to the other side of the cavern.


It longer and narrower than the one we came in from.


You

re kidding
,
right?

But I already knew the answer.
John wasn

t much of a kidder. Right now
,
asking the

funkies

to move seemed like a better option.

Maybe we could widen it,

I said.


It

s carved through rock, that one

s natural.

I was already starting to breath
e
heavily and we weren

t even in the damn thing yet.

Trip
,
I don

t know. I have this thing about tight places.

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