Time Shall Reap (33 page)

Elspeth drew a deep breath. ‘I wish I had – I wouldn’t be in this trouble the day.’ Resuming her account, she explained why she had been forced to tell the truth the evening before. ‘And Laura walked out, and David said I’d to leave this morning.’

‘So now you’re out on the street, penniless?’

When Elspeth told her what had transpired in the solicitor’s office, the old woman exclaimed, ‘Well, well! Just fancy a clock being worth all that. You’ll have some-thing at your back, any road – you’ll never need to worry where your next meal’s coming from.’ She looked at Elspeth wistfully. ‘Why did you not come and tell me about John’s bairn at the time? I’d have seen that you and the laddie never went short o’ anything. It would have helped to make up to me and Blairton for ... if only you’d done that, you’d not be in this predicament now.’

If only. There were so many ‘if onlys’ in Elspeth’s mind that she burst out, ‘If only John hadn’t been killed. If only Helen’s baby had lived ...’

‘And if only you and my son hadn’t taken advantage o’ an empty house,’ Meg said, quietly and without reproach.

Elspeth was stunned. She had thoughtlessly blamed others when it had all stemmed from her own sin, and not just in one empty house, but in two, though she was not going to tell Mrs Forrest about the day she had spent here.

‘What are you to be doing, now your man’s put you out?’

‘I don’t know yet, but the money’ll not last for ever and I’ll need to get a job and some place to bide.’

‘Was that the reason you come to me, lass?’

‘Oh, no!’ Elspeth was flustered. ‘I don’t know what made me come. It was maybe Mr Reid telling me your man had died...’ She broke off, appalled. ‘Oh, I forgot. I was awful sorry to hear about Blairton, Mrs Forrest, but I thought you deserved to ken about ... your grandson.’

‘Aye, my heart’s that full, I can’t ... to think I’ve had a grandson ... my John’s son ... if Blairton had still been ...’ She broke off and took a second to compose herself. ‘You’d come to clear your conscience, maybe?’

‘I’ll never clear my conscience, but something made me come. I can’t explain it.’

Meg looked pensive. ‘It was fate took you to my door the day, Elspeth, I’m sure o’ it. I’d made up my mind to sell up here and go to Edinburgh to bide, for I used to go on holidays there when I was young and I’ve aye liked it.’

Admiring the old lady’s courage in moving to a strange city when she must be over seventy, it occurred to Elspeth that perhaps Mrs Forrest was telling her, in a roundabout way, to stop feeling sorry for herself, so she was totally unprepared for what came next.

‘Would you consider coming wi’ me, Elspeth? We’d be doing each other a favour – you’d be company for me, and I’d be providing a roof over your head.’ She went on in spite of the look of amazement on Elspeth’s face. ‘You could bide here till I get things settled, and I’ll buy a house in Edinburgh, and you can look for a job there if you want. What d’you say?’

Elspeth had been taken aback at its being sprung on her so quickly, but she had nowhere else to go and Edinburgh would be as good a place as any. ‘If you’re sure, Mrs Forrest, I’d be very grateful. Oh, I’ve just minded. I left my suitcase at Mr Reid’s office, and it shuts at half past five.’

‘We can get it in the morning. You ken, pulling up my roots was a hard decision, for I came here as a bride, and Blairton meant to hand it on to John, but ... och well, that’s in the past. I was worried how I’d manage in Edinburgh on my own wi’ my eyes getting worse every day, but I’ll be fine wi’ you there.’

Elspeth was relieved that Mrs Forrest was so confident, because she wasn’t so sure herself. Two helpless women in a strange city – how would they cope?

Now that things had been arranged to Meg’s satisfaction, she told Elspeth about her husband’s death. ‘I found him lying lifeless in the bed beside me, and the doctor said it was a heart attack, but I ken he never recovered from losing John. His heart was broken that day, and he only existed after that. It wasna so bad for me, for I was able to let my grief out. There was days I thought I’d never be able to stop greeting, but he just gave way for a minute or two after we got the telegram, and then bottled it up. Any road, after the funeral yesterday, I sat down to think. I couldna run this place on my own, and honest men are hard to find, and nobody would want to work day and night like Blairton did, so that’s the reason I’m selling.’

‘Mr Reid said you’d been to see him this morning.’

‘I didna want to put it off.’

Meg sat silently for a moment, then suddenly started to reminisce about John’s childhood – his youth, his quarrel with his father about going to Canada – and while the quiet voice carried on, Elspeth realized, to her amazement, that although she was quite interested in hearing about him, she didn’t feel the burning sorrow that she would once have felt. She was sorry that John been killed, but she had known him for so short a time that she had discovered nothing about him: his likes and dislikes; if he had a quick temper or was slow to take offence; if he would have been a good husband. Apart from David’s nightmares and outbursts of jealousy – and he really couldn’t help that when the clock was there to remind him every day of her first lad – he had been a very good husband ... but she must forget about David.

If John had loved her as much as he said he did, he wouldn’t have blindly followed the wishes of his friends to go drinking that Saturday forenoon. It was the first time this thought had ever entered her head, and she glanced at his mother guiltily.

Meg noticed the look, but misconstrued its meaning. ‘I’m sorry, lass. I’ve been going on and on, and your mind’s got enough to contend wi’. We’ll have something to eat, then you can tell me about your man.’

Not having had anything except two cups of tea since she rose, Elspeth was glad of the ham sandwiches which Mrs Forrest produced. ‘They’re left over from the funeral tea,’ she smiled, ‘but I had them in a tin, and my pantry’s that cold they’re still as fresh as when they were made.’

Afterwards, when Elspeth started to speak about David, she became so engrossed in recalling his nightmares, his pride in their daughter, his dear habits and sayings, that she hardly noticed the old woman rising to switch on the light, but at last the ache in her heart grew so overpowering that she had to stop.

Mrs Forrest regarded her compassionately. ‘I can see you still love him, and it’s a shame the way things turned out.’

On the verge of tears, Elspeth thought that it was ironic how things had happened. Only twenty-four hours earlier, she had split four lives asunder with her disclosure about her love for John Forrest and the bearing of his child, yet here she was, sitting with his mother and pouring out her love for David Fullerton. What must the woman think of her? She felt a hand being laid gently over hers and looked up into eyes misty behind the spectacles.

‘I’m pleased you found such a good man after what you’d been through, m’dear. Now, you likely didna sleep much last night, and I think you should get some rest. You can have one o’ my nightgowns, seeing your case is at Mr Reid’s.’

She led Elspeth upstairs to a room containing a single bed covered by a patchwork quilt, a chest of drawers and an old straight-backed wooden chair with a cushion on it; the room from which, although she did not know it, her visitor had withdrawn in embarrassment the first time she had been here.

‘This is John’s room,’ Meg said, looking sheepish. ‘Oh, I ken it’s more than twenty-six year, but it’s aye been John’s room to me, and I’ve lit a fire in here every week to air it. Now, get a good night’s sleep, lass, and we can speak about things in the morning, when you’re rested.’

‘Thank you, Mrs Forrest ... for everything.’

Exhaustion caught up on Elspeth as she lay down – in a single bed for the first time since her marriage. The events of this astonishing day whirled round and round in her head when she closed her eyes, flashing into her subconscious and changing constantly like a kaleidoscope.

David hadn’t changed his mind in the morning ... What a blessing Mrs Robb remembered about the trust money ... Mr Reid ... One thousand five hundred pounds for the grandfather clock ... Blairton ... What a kind woman Mrs Forrest is ... Sandwiches left over from a funeral tea ... John Forrest’s bed ... But she didn’t love him any longer, she loved David ... She had always loved David, and she would never see him again.

Meg, as she insisted on being called, was not as helpless as Elspeth had imagined. One of the farm workers drove her to the village the following morning, where she asked Mr Reid to make enquiries about houses in Edinburgh. ‘Not too dear, though,’ she warned him, ‘for what I get for Blairton’ll need to last me the rest o’ my days.’

‘That’s set things moving,’ she said, when she return to the farmhouse, ‘and I minded to collect your case as well.’

Over the next two weeks, the two women sorted the contents of cupboards and drawers into two piles – what was to be kept and what was to be thrown out – Meg being ruthless in the disposal of all inessential items. ‘I’m just taking what I’ll need, though there’s years o’ memories in some o’ this stuff I’m leaving.’ She looked sadly at Elspeth, who couldn’t help thinking that her ‘years of memories’ were still lying in Aberdeen.

Mr Reid called while they were still thus occupied. ‘Most of the houses were quite expensive, Mrs Forrest,’ he said, ‘so in view of your instructions, I’ve listed several flats in tenements, too, but you don’t need to ...’

‘I’ve no objection to a tenement,’ Meg said, brightly, ‘it would be good to have some close neighbours for a change.’

She and Elspeth set off for Edinburgh the following day, but the first three flats they inspected held no appeal for Meg. ‘We’ll just take a look at the one in Leston Road,’ she observed, as they came down four flights of stairs, ‘and that’ll be enough for one day. If it’s not suitable, we’ll have to come back another time.’

Elspeth wondered where the old lady got her energy, but by the time they reached the second floor of their last call, even Meg was out of breath. She had, however, been impressed by the well-kept entrance and staircase. The flat itself had large airy rooms, and the kitchen window looked out towards the rear of the Castle. She smiled as she looked round. ‘The rooms are a decent size, any road, and they’ll not need papering or painting. I’d be quite happy here, Elspeth, how about you?’

Tired and miserable, Elspeth felt that she would never be happy again, no matter where she was, but she said, ‘Aye, Meg, this place looks fine.’ It didn’t matter, anyway, as long as she had somewhere to lay her head at nights.

‘I’ll let Mr Reid ken we’ve settled on this.’ Meg beamed happily. ‘I’m getting real excited about it.’

The removal came three weeks later. The farm equipment was to be auctioned the day after they left, but the excess furniture went to a saleroom in Aberdeen because Meg had said, ‘I’m not wanting all the folk in Auchlonie gawking at my bits o’ things and belittling them.’

At long last they were in their new home, in the midst of chaos, the removal men having left the furniture and tea chests wherever had been handiest for themselves. ‘It’ll take us a while to sort this lot out.’ Meg stretched her stockinged feet to relieve her throbbing bunions while she relaxed with a cup of tea. ‘It’s a good thing you thought to take the teapot and things in your bag, Elspeth, for we’d have died o’ thirst before we found them in the boxes.’

Elspeth, also without shoes, was having second thoughts about coming to Edinburgh. She had nothing of her own except the few clothes in the suitcase, and she was already feeling like a waif brought in off the streets.

‘Well, lass.’ Meg heaved herself out of the chair. ‘We’ll need to make a start, or there’ll be no beds ready for us to sleep on this night.’

They made up the double bed in one room and the single bed in the other, and when they were stacking the last of the pans and dishes in the kitchen cupboard, Meg said, ‘Will we have a fish supper? I noticed a chip shop down the street.’

‘Whatever you think.’ Elspeth’s spirits were very low.

‘You can get them, lass, your legs are younger than mine.’ Taking a ten-shilling note out of her purse, Meg held it out to Elspeth, who turned her back on it.

‘I can manage to pay for the suppers,’ she said, curtly, as she went out. ‘I’m not destitute ... yet.’

Meg shook her head as she laid her handbag down again. It was understandable that Elspeth was touchy about money in the present set-up, but she would have to face up to reality and not take offence at the least little thing.

Next morning, Meg suggested that they should take a walk round the neighbourhood, and going down the hill they passed several shops – a grocer, butcher, newsagent, ironmonger, an empty shop and the chip shop. ‘There’s near everything we need right on our doorstep,’ she exclaimed in delight, then added, ‘We’ve come far enough the now. It’s uphill going back.’ She made some purchases in the butcher’s shop first, then went into the grocer, ignoring Elspeth’s plea to let her pay for something.

Home again, Meg looked at her companion. ‘We’ll have to make some arrangement about money, for I can see you’re not happy the way things are. Maybe I should pay for everything and just charge you your keep?’

Elspeth was not too happy with this proposal, either – it meant that she would just be a lodger again. ‘What were you thinking of charging me?’

‘Oh ... say ... ten shillings a week? Is that too much?’

‘It’s not enough,’ Elspeth snapped, angrily. ‘I don’t want charity.’

‘It’s not charity, for goodness’ sake.’ Meg’s patience was wearing thin. ‘You can help me in the house, if that’ll make you feel any better.’

The disapproval in her voice convinced Elspeth that this wasn’t going to work. Her hundred pounds would soon dwindle away, and she didn’t want to touch the rest of the money. ‘All right,’ she muttered. ‘Ten shillings a week.’ She would have to remain beholden to Meg for a while yet, so no good would come of antagonizing her.

Elspeth thought furiously while they were having lunch, and when they had cleared up, she said, ‘I’m going out to look for a job. One o’ the shops is bound to be needing an assistant or something, but if they’re not, I saw cards up in the grocer’s door wi’ folk needing cleaners.’